I Don't Want to be a Hero - Second Year
Chapter Seven
A Letter
Severus scraped scrambled eggs from the pan onto Harry's plate. He disliked eggs and so his breakfast consisted of a piece of toast with butter and marmalade, bacon, a very small glass of orange juice, and his ever present black and bitter coffee.
Discretely he coughed, and was reminded of the cough Tobias had developed after he began to smoke. It was a dry cough, and was soon passed.
"You okay, dad?" Harry glanced up worriedly.
"A simple cough, Harry. I think the air might have more salt in it then I expected."
Just as he placed the pan in the sink for washing, an owl tapped on the kitchen window. He allowed the bird in and Harry was right there with a few treats.
"A letter, dad?" asked Harry with curiosity as he fed the owl.
"For me, Harry. Finish your breakfast, please." Severus opened his letter while Harry slipped back onto his chair and dove into his eggs. As wrapped up as he seemed in his breakfast he allowed an eye to peek at his father every few minutes.
Severus frowned at the letter but in short order his features drifted into a dark anger. After a long moment as his father read the letter he folded it closed, and rose from his chair. "I need some fresh air, Harry. You can join me in the garden when you are finished."
"Is it bad news, dad?" asked Harry looking right at the letter his father was tucking into his pocket.
"Nothing to be concerned about, Harry. You finish your breakfast, and I am going for a short walk." Severus went through the back door into the garden. Very quietly he closed the door behind him.
Harry stared at the bright painted field of sunflowers that was the wallpaper in the kitchen. An odd brightness one might think for the dour Potions Master but when it had come to choosing the wallpaper Severus had smiled at the field of Van Gogh styled sunflowers. Harry knew it was the right wallpaper to have. It cheered him, too.
However, at this moment, the anger in his father's mien, the ticking of his jaw that was the grinding of his teeth, was not erased by the sunflowers. Harry's fork tapped absently on the remains of his eggs that were fast growing cold. Making a decision he got up, cleared his dishes, put the dirty ones in the sink, and then left the kitchen after his father.
The garden was mapped out in a grid and as the plants were still budding, and spreading as they needed, it was easy to see his father standing at its center. The letter was in his hand again and Harry knew it was the source of his father's anger.
As quiet as possible he made his way over to his father, and once he was close enough he slipped his arms around his father's waist.
"Dad, I know that letter is making you angry. Are you sure you don't want to tell me what it is about?" asked Harry carefully.
Severus patted Harry's clasped hands over his belly. He did not want to say anything but Harry was a curious boy; it was part of his survival instinct in which he needed to know everything in case he had to protect himself. Or, lately, his father. Severus had realised over the Summer that he had become as important to Harry as Harry's own survival was to himself.
With a slow spin Severus descended to the ground until he was seated Lotus-style on the cleared path. He pulled Harry down to the earth beside him.
"A part of my past has returned, Harry. And, he is in a way, a part of yours," said Severus with regret. Harry blinked, and wove his hand into his father's. He did not say anything. "As a student… your father…"
"James," insisted Harry. His father was imparting important history to him and he felt it would not be right if James were compared to his father.
Severus nodded, "James. We were not friends. It was not simply the rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor that drove a wedge between us," he began to stroke his son's hair; an action meant to soothe Harry but it soothed him more. "It was Lily. My first friend from that time. Lucius watched over me but he was a seventh year, and about to get married. There would not be a friendship for us."
"But he's your best friend now, right, dad?"
Severus gave Harry a brief smile. "So he became."
Harry verbally nudged Severus when the silence became heavy, "What happened, dad?"
"Lily chose James over me, and due to that choice and other circumstances, our friendship was at an end." He then looked down into Harry's deep, green eyes. "I cannot hate either of them, though, or else I would never have known you."
Harry smiled. He then looked at the letter that was crushed in his father's left hand. "Who wrote to you, dad?" asked Harry gently but firmly.
"His name is Remus Lupin. He was one of James' best friends. He is the one who found Albus after Fawkes took him away. Lupin is now Albus'... companion," Severus grimaced.
"You don't like him do you?"
"More correctly... he disappoints me. He is a coward who will not stand up for those he should have, and he is desperate to win the approval of everyone." Severus chuckled acidly. "With the exception of me. He chooses to continue to believe the worst of me no matter what others tell him." Severus lifted the crumpled letter and squeezed it tighter in his hand. "Lupin believes me to be the worst thing ever to happen to you, and he feels it is his right to tell me not to hurt you." That dry cough tickled his throat and he coughed once.
Harry's eyes narrowed darkly. No one ever besmirched his father. He was not stupid. He knew his father had lived a hard life, and he had made some terrible decisions. Harry admired the fact that Professor Severus had dragged himself up from filth and turned his life around. Harry knew, even if people did not see for themselves, that his father cared for those who would otherwise be neglected, hurt, or simply ignored. If it were not for the fact that Professor Severus had rescued him above and beyond the incident when Bellatrix LeStrange had almost killed him, he would not be living life on an island where he could be free, and he had a father.
Harry did not completely know who this Remus Lupin was but if he thought he had a right to hurt his father he had just made himself an enemy in Harry Potter Snape.
As hard, and as strong as Harry wanted to be in that moment, the old insecurities, and the fear of the Dursleys rose up harshly inside him. He clutched his father's waistcoat, irrationally missing the voluminous teaching robes.
"This Lupin wizard, dad, can he take me away from you?" Harry asked worriedly.
Severus hugged his son closely to himself. "No. No, Harry. Lupin cannot." What he did not say was that he worried that Lupin might influence others into getting Harry removed from his custody. No one was going to take his son away, ever. He would find a way to make that impossible. Within he smirked smugly; he had been a Death Eater, and he was rather proficient in the Dark Arts.
"Dad, let's go play some Two Man Snitch chase and then you can teach me some more swimming."
Severus smiled down at his son. Harry was liking those smiles. He would make it his life's goal to make his father smile more.
"That sounds like a very good idea, Harry," said Severus rising smoothly to his feet. He extended his hand to his son. "Loser makes lunch."
Harry grinned cheekily. "I'd like pea soup and homemade rolls today."
Severus let out a bark of laughter. "Be prepared to make my favourite, Mr. Snape."
Harry grimaced in horror, "Oh god! Not liver and onions… again!"