Unspoken Feelings
Chapter Fifteen: Dreams of the Future
Eric awoke slowly with a moan. He'd been having the best dream about Sookie being in bed with him. Even as the fantasy slipped away, Eric could still feel her lips wrapped around his cock. When he realized he was fully awake and could still feel her, Eric's eyes snapped open, and he looked down to see his fiancée sucking on him with mischief in her eyes.
"Sookie," Eric groaned as he watched her lips glide over him. His hand reached to tangle in her hair, and he urged her to release him. "Get up here." He sat up and put his arms around her waist as Sookie scooted up his legs. His hands were on her thighs, spreading them until he could easily slip inside her. When he was fully encased, Eric hugged her tightly to his chest. "Best alarm clock in the world," he grunted as his hips undulated beneath her and his hands pushed down on her hips. Sookie whimpered and twisted atop him as their sexes ground together in an effort to be closer, to push deeper.
"Ah! Mmm," Sookie cried as his fingertips left her hip to rub above where they were joined.
As her inner walls began to flex with her orgasm, Eric groaned, "Goddamnit!"His hips bucked feverishly beneath her and Sookie was thrown into bliss as she felt Eric wildly fill her with his cum. "I just… Can't make it through," he panted with small grunts as her pussy squeezed him rhythmically with its aftershocks. "It's a good thing I don't have to pull out," he told her. "You'd never finish during if I couldn't get those last few thrusts in." Sookie smiled and kissed his cheek before seeking out his lips.
Glancing at the clock, Eric saw that it was only 4AM. "If you want to sneak in a shower, now's the time. The night owls are passed out, and the early birds aren't quite awake. We'd only risk running into the insomniacs at this hour."
Sookie smiled and nodded. He'd been somewhat pent up and indeed made a mess out of her.
Sliding out of bed, Eric grabbed his robe to throw at her, and then slipped on a pair of sweatpants to wear to the bathroom. He grabbed his toiletry bag and then ushered his fiancée out the door. When she pointed confusedly at the bathroom sign, Eric laughed.
"Our floor is a co-ed bathroom. Don't worry about it."
Sookie's face slackened uncomfortably at the notion, but he shoved her into the bathroom, and that was the most she protested through the entire experience.
Oh, I hate this, oh I hate this, Sookie thought miserably as she showered. Even with Eric in the same stall as her, she felt like someone would whip back the curtain at any second and start staring at her. God, I hate this!
"Relax," Eric chuckled as he started running his hands over her body. "No one's going to peek on us." At the pitiful expression on her face, he leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss before moving their positions and putting Sookie directly under the spray of the water rather than the two of them standing sideways beneath it. The new arrangement effectively put Eric between herself and the curtain. "There. Now they'll only see me if they peek."
Sookie didn't like that idea either, but it was better than the alternative. However, it turned out not mattering because no one whipped back the curtain at any point during their shower.
"I told you so," Eric laughed as they were toweling off and Sookie was once again in his robe. "It's not as scary as you think it is."
"I don't like bathing if I can't lock the door," she told him.
"… Even if it were an all girl's bathroom?" Eric asked. Sookie shook her head. "Why?"
"Girls in gym took pictures of me once," Sookie explained as they went back to his room.
"When did that happen!?" Eric demanded.
"Freshman year."
"What'd the school do?" Eric pressed as they arrived back in his room.
Sookie took up his notebook and wrote out, "The gym teacher walked in, took the camera and destroyed the film. She said 'disrespecting bathroom rules like that made the girls a bunch of perverts, and she was disgusted by them.'"
Eric stared, "That's it? No one was expelled or suspended?" Sookie shook her head. "What the fuck!?"
"The entire freshman girl's class would have been expelled except for me if they'd done something like that. There are only 53 people in the class of '99. 28 of them are girls."
"Jesus, I forget how small Bon Temps is," Eric remembered the population of the entire town hadn't even toppled 3,000 yet. "You only have the one gym class for the Freshman." Sookie nodded. "Would you have done anything if the teacher hadn't stepped in?" Eric wondered. When Sookie shrugged, Eric sighed. Pulling her into his arms, he whispered, "One day, Sookie, you're going to see how amazing you really are, and I hope you look back on all those memories and realize you didn't deserve to endure any of it."
It was in that moment that Eric understood why Sookie could be bullied so harshly and no action be taken by the faculty. The school had unwittingly set a precedent. As long as enough students could be held accountable, the system would do nothing. After all, they couldn't expel half of an entire graduating class, could they?
Sookie accepted her fiancé's embrace, and as she was wrapped up in his warmth, she had to wonder if he would love her if she were the type of person to make waves. Did Eric love her because he felt she needed to be looked after? No, she denied the thought as quickly as it came. She knew his love wasn't so superficial. Even if it had initially attracted him to her, it would no longer be his primary interest. Regardless, she knew that part of his love for her had to do with endurance he wished she didn't exercise. She knew this because how often he brought it up. There was admiration as well as regret when he witnessed her persisting nature. That admiration is what made her first fall for him. He didn't look at her as someone who escaped reality but pushed continuously against it. Yes, she admitted to herself, I gave up on a lot of things for myself, but I never denied the life I was living.
That was something Sookie always remembered was how she lived. Even if her goals were as short-term as getting out of high school as quick as she could, she'd still worked her ass off to do it.
The pair were silent for the remainder of their time in the dorm that morning. Eric and Sookie quickly dressed and left to explore the real world of New Orleans. It was still early, but they found a little bakery that did donuts and cinnamon rolls that they inhaled for breakfast.
"Wow, these are amazing," Eric moaned as he took another bite. Sookie tentatively took a bite of her cinnamon roll and openly stared as if she were in shock. "What's wrong?"
"It's delicious," Sookie told him.
"Then why are you acting like it just bit you?" he laughed at her expression.
Unable to respond, Sookie took another bite, and then another and another. When the entirety of her breakfast was gone, she stared at her empty plate contemplatively. I didn't realize there was this big of a gap between my baking and a professional baker, Sookie realized. As per her agreement with Gran buying Eric's guitar for his graduation gift, Sookie had done all of the baking for the church bake sales and pancake breakfasts. The items Sookie made were always the first ones gone. For a few days, she got to hear about how Adele Stackhouse was the best baker in all of Renard Parish because no one knew Sookie was the actual creator.
"They bake much better than me," Sookie confessed to Eric.
"Sookie, they're professionals,"Eric pointed out as he devoured another pastry.
"I guess I didn't realize there was this big of a gap in my skills," Sookie told him, and her expression about broke his heart.
Eric quickly stood up and headed for the register. "Excuse me," he greeted warmly, "my fiancée is an aspiring baker, and she really loved the food here."
The clerk seemed confused why the man was saying this instead of the woman who came in with him, but she smiled and thanked him. "We're always happy to hear that from our customers! It's still early for the breakfast rush. If you put on a hairnet, you can go back and talk to my sister while she works."
"Oh, this is family run?" Eric asked.
The woman nodded, "Yeah, my sister does most of the baking. She has a couple assistants, but it's mostly all her. I run the actual business part. I guess you could say that we're well matched."
"I'll ask her if she wants to go into the back. Thank you!" Eric smiled as he returned back to their table. Sookie stared at him, having heard the exchange. "What do you say? Want to talk with a professional baker?"
Nodding hesitantly, Sookie took her fiancé's hand and let him tug her toward the counter. The clerk handed them each a hairnet, and Sookie smiled amusedly at Eric in a hairnet. When they entered the kitchen, Sookie floated through the strong aroma of baking loaves of bread and sweets.
"Hi there," Eric waved, "your sister said we could come back here and meet you."
A young woman with brown hair spun into a tight bun looked over to see them. "Good morning! Did you have a good breakfast?"
"We did, thanks to you," Eric replied. "My fiancée really enjoyed it. She's very proud of her own baking skills, and I thought meeting someone who owns their own bakery might be inspiring to her."
"Oh, well," The woman laughed nervously. "It's always been my passion," she explained as she took a tray of bread dough from the oven, cut quick slits in each and threw it back into the heat. She bustled around performing her tasks as she spoke. "I went to pastry school right out of high school and got a job as head baker in a grocery store for a few years. I couldn't stand baking pre-made doughs, though."
Sookie's hands flung out wildly, and Eric smiled as she finally showed some enthusiasm.
"Where did you go to school?" Eric asked.
"LCI, right here in New Orleans," she baker replied. "Is she deaf? Should I face her more?"
Eric shook his head, "No, she just can't speak."
"Oh, okay," the baker shrugged. "I'm glad she understands me easily. I don't know a bit of sign language."
Sookie's hands shot up, and Eric laughed.
"She says that she barely knows any either," Eric told their host. "So, how long is the LCI program?"
The baker shrugged. "Depends on the program. One can be done in a year, or there's the other program can be done in four. I have an associates degree," she explained.
"Well, thank you for your time," Eric smiled as he saw that the woman was becoming increasingly busy as different timers started going off, and the baker began hopping from one station to the next. It definitely looked like she had a system at work.
Sookie waved goodbye as well as they headed out to the shop. The clerk thanked them and said farewell as they left.
"So," Eric looked at his fiancée as he yanked the hairnet off his head, "what do you think about going to school to become a pastry chef?" Sookie thought about this a moment before shrugging. "You're not interested at all?"
"I don't know if I want to go to school for it," she confessed. "Is it greedy to want to be a stay at home mom for a career?"
Eric shook his head, "No, it's not. Especially if you get your way and have five kids to wrangle all day."
"I still haven't convinced you for more than two babies?" Sookie teased.
Eric thought a moment, "I think you've got me up to three." Sookie beamed at her future husband and hugged him around the middle as they walked down the street together. "If that's what you really want, then I'll be all too happy to help you get it, but I don't want you to feel limited."
Sookie stopped and took her notebook from her purse. Eric paused to wait as she wrote out her reply to his statement. "I don't see being a mother as a limited dream. I want to do all the mom things like school bake sales and being a helper mom. I want you to come home from work to a house that's in order, and a home-cooked meal."
Eric smiled as he kissed the top of her head. "Putting the kids to bed and then sitting up at the kitchen table going over bills and budgets?" he guessed. Sookie nodded, and Eric pulled her in tight. "If your dreams ever change, just let me know."
Hand in hand, the couple explored the many attractions New Orleans had to offer. Eric bought a disposable camera and made sure to snap plenty of pictures of her, and she did the same so that they would have mementos to carry until they could be together again.
All too quickly the day slipped from their grasps, and they were enjoying a stunning sunset that turned the sky into a red, burning fire. They stood, staring over the Mississippi River and the reflection of the crimson flames above them.
"I don't want you to leave," Eric whispered as the sun sunk lower and lower. "I thought I was handling the distance pretty well, but then when you showed up yesterday… I've missed you, Sookie," he confessed.
Sookie looked at her fiancé as she opened her notebook, "I've missed you too. I wish I didn't have to leave either, but six months isn't so long. We'll have a long weekend together next month. And then two and a half weeks in the winter. We'll make it. We're both strong."
Eric laughed at his fiancée's reassurance, "I'm glad you can be so positive about it."
"All I have to do is remember that I'll be living with you next year, and it makes it much easier to be so positive."
"Were you still wanting to get married this upcoming summer?" Eric asked. Sookie nodded enthusiastically. "We need to get planning that."
Sookie took the notebook back and quickly wrote, "We could have it at Gran's if you'd like. I'd really only be inviting Jason, Gran, Hadley and Aunt Linda anyway. Unless you have a lot of people you'd like to invite?"
Eric snorted, "Not really. If Quinn and I are still friends, I'll probably invite him, but that's the only person I can think of other than Godric and Pam."
"What about your roommate?" Sookie asked.
"Alcide? No, I don't think so. He's nice enough, but I don't really think of him as a friend. Not to mention, his girlfriend is too unpredictable for my liking."
"How so?"
Eric became thoughtful, "Debbie buys things, big things, on a whim. She bought a car three weeks into the school year."
"You bought a car the same day we met," Sookie pointed out.
Eric pouted, "We planned for that, it wasn't impulsive. I'd driven down in Godric's Jeep from New York. When he and Pam arrived, Godric was going to need it, so we'd decided to get me a car too."
"I was just teasing," Sookie smiled and gave him a sympathetic hug for good measure.
Eric draped his arm over her shoulder as she hugged him and kissed the top of her head. "When are you leaving tomorrow?"
"When I wake up," she signed.
Eric held her tighter for a brief moment, "I'll have to keep you up late tonight then, so we sleep in."
Sookie gave his ribs a gentle nudge to chastise his motives, but deep down, she wanted the same exact thing.
{†}
Eric waved goodbye from the sidewalk as his future wife left campus to head home. They'd managed to sleep until 9, but it still hadn't been long enough. Both dressed as slowly as possible, hugging, kissing and caressing at every opportunity. Several students witnessed them breaking their own anti-PDA rules on their way to the parking lot, but all those witnesses were in agreement that the exchanges were sweet rather than lewd.
"Your girlfriend is adorable."
Eric nearly jumped out of his skin as he looked down by his shoulder to see Debbie standing beside him. "Thanks," he mumbled after calming down, "but she's not just my girlfriend; she's my fiancée."
"Oh, that's right," Debbie remembered, but he heard a slight sound of annoyance at his correction. "Next time, you should let all of us hang out with her instead of hogging her the whole time."
"She came to see me, not to socialize or make friends," Eric replied as he headed back to the dorm.
"Possessive much?" Debbie grumbled.
"Very much," Eric agreed but left it at that.
Debbie paused a moment before she sighed and apologized. "I didn't mean to sound like a bitch. I just meant that since she'll be moving down here next year, it might be nice to know some people ahead of time. You don't expect to keep her barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, do you?" she teased.
Eric laughed at that. "Actually, the way she talks sometimes, I don't know that she'd mind that arrangement all too much."
"Seriously?" Debbie was surprised.
"Sookie wants children very much," Eric nodded. "I'm not so sure about the barefoot and kitchen part, but if I told her I was ready to start a family right now, she'd chuck her birth control."
"Wow," Debbie followed him back into the dorm, "I don't know that I'm sure if I want kids at all, let alone ready to start now! Do you think it's because she can't speak that she doesn't like to socialize?"
Eric glanced at his roommate's girlfriend and laughed, "Sookie's actually very sociable. She's funny and sweet. Like I said, I'm just greedy for her. Next year, I really do plan on the two of us going to parties together and helping her make new friends. It's only difficult for her to make friends when others don't show her the patience to listen. Her personality is beautiful."
"Well, I hope I'm one of the people she gets to know," Debbie commented as they walked further up the stairs. "Maybe she can give me some pointers on getting a ring on my own finger."
Eric didn't reply right away. Up until twenty seconds ago, he didn't really like Debbie all that much, but talking to her about Sookie was slowly warming him up to her. Finally, he comforted her by saying, "He might just be waiting until the two of you are done with college."
"What made you propose so easily?" Debbie pouted.
"I wasn't afraid of people hounding, criticizing and mocking me," Eric grinned. "Not many people can handle the stress of others picking at their relationships. I'm constantly attacked for my commitment to Sookie. It's one of the reasons I'm not big on going to parties. There are always girls trying to sleep with me, or guys trying to convince me to cheat on Sookie because it's, 'what you do in college,'" Eric threw up some air quotes. "I've gone a lot of my life being told what I have to do and who I have to be. Now that I'm free, I choose to do what I want and be who I want without allowing others to sway my decision."
"Why can't Alcide be like that?" Debbie moaned in frustration.
"You realize that you'd probably get the same flack from the girls too, right?" Eric pointed out. "Do you really want to listen to all the girls in your dorm talking shit about how they can't believe you'd settle down with a high school sweetheart and not play the field?"
Debbie frowned as she looked at Eric, "Would it really be like that?"
Eric shrugged, "Maybe. I don't know, I just know how it is for me, and the answer is: yes. It is like that."
"That sucks," Debbie sympathized.
"I suggest you stop worrying about when Alcide plans to propose, and focus on classes and just spending time together. Stay strong through college, and he'll pop the question when he's ready to. I think everyone's a lot harder on Freshman about this stuff than anyone else because we're all still high schoolers in a way. Hopefully the pressuring will go down when we come back next Fall."
"Have you thought that, maybe, going out and partying might help?" Debbie suggested.
"How do you mean?" Eric asked, pausing before his dorm room and looking at his roommate's girlfriend with curiosity.
"Well," Debbie thought aloud, "if they see you being sociable instead of holed up in your room all the time, they wouldn't say that you're letting college pass you by. If they see women hitting on you, and you politely rejecting them instead of regretfully, they might believe Sookie's more than just a high school sweetheart." The girl looked Eric over amusedly, "Or do you doubt you have the control to turn down lay after lay?"
Eric snorted at the challenge, "Are you serious? There's not a single girl on campus that could turn my head."
"Then is Sookie the one who keeps you in on the weekends?" Debbie taunted.
"Of course not. Sookie even told me I should go out more," Eric rolled his eyes as he opened the door to his room. Alcide still wasn't back from wherever it was he had crashed, and Eric felt a little guilty having put his roommate out for a weekend without warning. When he'd told Sookie to give surprise inspections, he had forgotten surprises meant inconveniences for his roommate.
"See?" his new shadow laughed. "Make a point to people! Show them that Eric Northman isn't just blissfully unaware of what's out there, but perfectly happy with what he already has!"
Eric sighed and looked heavenward. If it will shut you up! "Fine. Quinn already demanded I show up at his Frat's party next weekend."
"Excellent! Now get lost," Debbie jerked her thumb toward the hallways. "Alcide will be back soon, and we've got an entire weekend of sex to catch up on because of you!"
With a resigned sigh, Eric grabbed the guitar Sookie gave him for graduation and went on the hunt for a private area to practice. He didn't like people watching him fumble to learn the chords. Rather than walking across campus for privacy, Eric headed further upstairs until he came to the roof access. No one ever came this high up except maintenance, and Eric sat down on a step to balance his guitar on his knee.
The guitar was an excellent opportunity to be by himself without others talking. Telling Debbie that he wasn't bothered by all the gossip surrounding him wasn't necessarily a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either. It was frustrating, and he had to bite his tongue often. There was little point in fighting the snide comments and gossip, and far too exhausting for the minuscule gains.
As his fingers clumsily skated across the strings, Eric felt himself become more honest with himself than he'd been with Debbie. The hounding from people who knew nothing about him was easy enough to ignore. They weren't his friends, and their opinions were just as offensive as a pile of dog shit. He had to endure the odor only in proximity to the dump, as long as he didn't step in it, it might as well not exist beyond that brief encounter.
Thankfully, UNO was a large campus, and he wasn't the only Freshman with a high school sweetheart back home or at another school. Unfortunately, when he'd see one of those other lovesick fools cheat on their absent lover, that was more painful and longer lasting than any offhanded comment he endured.
Eric's fingers traveled to the D chord, and he let out a smile as he strummed it. A Mexican kid named Felipe had shown him the simplicity of transitioning the D chord to play 'Free Falling.' It was one of Eric's favorite things to play when he felt like his practicing was going nowhere. At that moment, that simple chord banished more than the doubts of his musical talent. For a second Tom Petty was there reminding him of 'all the good girls at home with broken hearts,' and Eric was comforted to know that Sookie wouldn't be one of them.
TBC
A/N: PLEASE REMEMBER TO REVIEW!