Unspoken Feelings
Chapter Eighteen: Words for You
Gran was raving like a mad woman by the time she got Sookie home and into her own bed.
"-call that school and give them a piece of my mind!" Adele ranted as she fluffed Sookie's pillow for the twentieth time and stormed out to bring her a third cup of tea. "If you wanted to just drop out and get your GED, I wouldn't stop you!" Gran continued shouting even as she came in with another mug of steaming, soothing tea.
At least she had given up on trying to find out who had done the attacking. With all the damage, done to her, it was speculated that more than one person had beat her up, but Sookie had refused to give a single name. A war was waging inside the young woman, and she feared her family would do something stupid and drastic if they heard who had beaten her. If only Gran hadn't stormed in while the cops were taking pictures of my injuries…
Jason was leaning against the door, just out of the way of their rampaging grandmother. He had stared at his sister the past forty-five minutes, trying to think of anyone else who could have done this to her, but his memory was too good. Busted ribs, broken arm, and a face so bruised it was hardly a face anymore…
Pushing away from the wall, Jason left the house and stomped through the valley that divided the two hills that were the pedestals of the Stackhouse and Compton homes. He climbed the crest his best friend since diapers lived atop of, and he rang the bell hoping to find Bill's hands unblemished.
Old Mr. Compton answered, already reeking of beer, his breath capable of stripping wallpaper.
"Whaya want?" Robert demanded.
"Is Bill here?" Jason asked, unfazed by the drunkard.
"What's up, Jason?" Bill's voice came uneasily from behind his father, and Mr. Compton turned to sneer at his son. When Bill came to meet Jason on the porch, Robert slammed the door behind him, grumbling all the way back to the living room. "Hey," Bill's voice was subdued.
Jason didn't say anything at first. Bill's hands were in his pockets, and the friend was working up the nerve to let accusations fly. Instead, however, Jason let out a sob he'd been holding in the last few hours since finding his sister wandering in the darkness.
"Bill," Jason choked, making his friend look up in surprise, "someone beat my sister. They beat her up so bad! She won't tell anyone who did it to her. Even while the cops were taking pictures of all the bruises! I don't know if it's 'cause she's scared, or…" Jason snorted back on the snot building up in his nose. He just wanted a few more minutes with his best friend. Jason just wanted a few more seconds where Bill was the person Jason could turn to. Knowing that the guy he trusted and thought of like a brother had been the one to bring this pain was almost as devastating as seeing his sister bruised and broken.
"It was me," Bill whispered as Jason's sobs tugged at what was left of his dying pride.
"I know," Jason sobbed harder, only moderately relieved that his friend had confessed. "Which means, not only did I have to take my sister to the hospital, but I have to lose my brother, too. I lost my brother over a decade's old grudge you asshole!" Jason swung out his arm and punched his best friend in the face. "Was it worth it? Was getting back at a five-year-old girl worth losing your best friend?" Bill fell to the ground and stared up at Jason in surprise as his chest was quickly straddled and more blows rained down on him. "Did you think I wouldn't see all that hurt, all them breaks and not think of you?! I was finally learning some signs, and now Sook can't sign!" Jason howled as he remembered her struggle to scrawl with her left hand. Since it was quickly fatigued, her statements were as short as the time before the Northmans. Taken over by grief, Jason stopped his assault and just continued to loom over Bill. "She can't write neither, you asshole! You took what was left of her fucking voice!"
The brother rolled away to sit on the cold grass, holding his head in his hands as he sobbed over everything he'd lost that day. Distantly, a part of him knew that Sookie had lost far more, but at that moment he could overlook that and just weep. Eventually, Jason stood up and pushed away his tears.
"I don't know why Sookie hasn't sold you out, but," Jason glanced down to watch Bill wipe away the blood from his lip, "this time, though, you'd deserve to be told on."
Bill watched as his best friend, his brother, turned away from him and started heading back to his own house. When he was a few yards away, Bill felt his hopes rise because Jason had stopped and turned to look back.
"Hey, Bill?" Jason called.
"Yeah?" Bill replied hesitantly.
"Congratulations on becoming your father."
Bill felt his world shatter at Jason's words.
{†}
As a friendship was falling apart at the Compton house, Eric Northman was arriving at the Stackhouse farm. Godric hadn't even put the car in park when Eric lunged out of the car and stormed into the house. The younger brother hadn't been in his own home yet when his sister had run out to tell him that Sookie had been beaten black and blue. Eric had dropped his book bag on the driveway and jumped back in the car with Godric.
Eric ran to his fiancée's room, passing Gran in the hallway. She gave him a sympathetic look and moved aside to let him pass. When he entered Sookie's bedroom, Eric tried not to look at her immediately but instead crawled into bed with her. Tucking his head into her shoulder, Eric closed his eyes and tried to think of something to say. Instead, he let out a groan and listened to Godric come in and start talking to Adele. Although he could distinguish the sounds of their voices, their words evaded him.
Sookie turned her head to look at Eric. His eyes were squeezed shut so tight it was almost comical. He reminded her of a child trying to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. She thought about speaking, just one little sound. One little noise beyond an 'mmm' would make him feel so much better. Will you cooperate a bit, Brain? She wondered, not feeling the speeding of her heart at the idea of speaking. Sookie had avoided speaking since the inadvertent, "Ja-y," from earlier. Part of her was worried it had been an involuntary sound. Another part of her wanted Eric to be the first one to hear her speak.
"H-i," came the softest, most gravely sound from Sookie's mouth.
"Hi," Eric choked back before looking up with shock. "Sookie! Did you say 'hi'!?"
"Mmm," she smiled just enough not to split her lip back open.
"When? How? Wh-" Sookie placed a finger over his lips to quiet him a moment. The word had come so easily. It felt raw and a little uncomfortable to speak, but it wasn't hard. Eric looked to see her awkward posture as her right arm was in a cast and wrapped to her chest. Somehow, she still managed to wiggle her left arm free to shush him.
Sookie's finger left his mouth to touch his chin, and Eric felt his eyes being drawn up to meet hers. He stared at his fiancée's tightened face. She looked like she was trying to work her mouth free of some sort of glue.
Finally, after a moment, her mouth opened and, "I love you," tumbled from her lips to speak the sentence they had waited the past year to exchange.
"I love you, too," Eric gasped as they stared at one another in disbelief. Despite her bruised and swollen face, Eric could see Sookie's disbelief at managing to speak her first sentence. To look away from her tears and offer a moment for both of them to take in this milestone, Eric leaned in and gently kissed her. Their lips pressed together until they were interrupted.
"Sookie," Gran intruded gently, "I brought you some soup." The old woman quickly realized that she had impressed upon a rather significant moment, and she proceeded to silently put the tray and bowl on Sookie's dresser. Without another word, Adele left the room.
"Were those your first words?" Eric asked softly as they lay in bed, back in their sphere of privacy.
"Mmm," Sookie nodded. Her brain was still trying to process, accept and enjoy the hurdle she had finally cleared. It hadn't sounded as garbled as she'd expected. Breathy. Strained. But definitely clear. In a way, Sookie wouldn't be surprised if she found talking to be physically or even emotionally exhausting, but at that moment, she could only let silent, happy tears trail down her cheeks.
"Does this mean you'll finally start signing your letters with love?" Eric asked hopefully. When Sookie pointed at her busted arm, Eric frowned. "I don't mind if your letters are shorter and look like a five-year-old wrote them. As long as they end with 'Love, Sookie,' I'll be happy."
With another approving, "Mmm," Sookie nuzzled her forehead against Eric's crown.
"It's weird with your head higher than mine," Eric commented as he began to gently adjust them so Sookie's head could rest against his chest. The natural formation eased some of his anxiety. "Will you tell me who did this to you?"
Sookie pulled away and studied Eric's face cautiously. Eric stared right back, waiting for her reply. "Only if you pro-omise not to do anythi-ing about it," Sookie forced out the longer statement.
"How can you expect me to promise that?!" he demanded in disbelief.
"It wo-on't ha-appen again,"Sookie told him.
"How can you know that?" Eric asked sharply but immediately regretted it. Sookie looked exhausted, and the extra strain of speaking couldn't be making it any easier. Regardless, he almost felt himself drawing her out. He almost wanted to fight about it just to keep listening to her breathy voice.
"I just do," she responded patiently. "Do you pro-omise?" Eric shook his head, trying to convey that he couldn't promise that. "Then I ha-ave to pro-otect you." She would have given anything to be able to go turn Bill into the police that very second, but she knew Eric would find a way to get his hands on him first.
Eric took a deep, calming breath, "Okay. You're right, I can't handle it right now. I'd go and beat them all bloody once you told me." Even though Eric had his suspicions, he also had his doubts that one person could have done this. He couldn't imagine one person could inflict this much damage before they realized what they were doing. Who could possibly hate Sookie that much? It made far more sense that multiple people had attacked and done separate damages simultaneously before realizing they'd gone far beyond their intentions. At least, that's what Eric wanted to believe.
Sookie flinched when she felt Eric's lips touch gently against one of her bruises. When Eric pulled away guiltily, she gave him a reassuring smile.
"Did that hurt?" he asked sadly. Sookie shook her head. "Are you sure?" She nodded and with an even gentler touch, his lips grazed the bruised landmarks of her face. Her temple, cheekbone, jaw, and chin all received a remedying kiss that made Sookie smile appreciatively. When the exposed injuries were all kissed, Sookie smiled up at him.
"Why are you here?" she asked suddenly, wondering how he could have arrived so quickly even if Jason had called Eric from the hospital.
"I was already on my way up for Valentine's Day," Eric explained. "I bought the tickets in December for a round trip and wanted to surprise you. Godric had class today, so he picked me up at the airport."
Sookie's mouth tugged into another tentative smile, "Love you," she said with such effortlessness now that it made Eric's heart pound.
"I love you too," Eric assured while basking in this new experience. Today was the first day someone other than his family had told him that they loved him. He couldn't bring himself to say that to Sookie, though. She'd feel guilty for not saying or writing it sooner. It wouldn't matter to her that he felt this moment was well worth waiting for, and that it brought a lightness to an otherwise grim day. "I can't wait until I get to hear you say 'I do.' It can't come soon enough."
Sookie reached for the front of Eric's shirt. Without another word, she leaned in to capture his lips in another kiss. He let her control the pressure and intensity, wanting her to lead and keep from injuring herself further. When she tried to rake her nails under his shirt, however, he pulled away.
"Sookie, are you actually in the mood for sex, or are you revving me up because you think I expect it?" Eric asked, holding her wrist delicately.
"Missed you," she told him softly, and he could hear the exhaustion and strain in her voice. She was at the end of her strength.
"You missed me?" he asked, and she nodded. "I miss you too, but you're hurt all over the place. I can see the bruises, and I know your arm is broken but is there anything else?"
Sookie let out a frustrated sigh and softly muttered, "Three cra-acked ribs and a modera-ate concu-ussion."
"Yeah, we're definitely not fooling around," Eric frowned. "Even if you were somehow in the mood, we're not doing it. Three cracked ribs? What happens when you get excited and start breathing hard?" Sookie hadn't thought of that. "We'll just stay here for the weekend. Right here in bed," Eric told her. "I'll bring you anything you need, and this will be our Valentine's Day. All I want in return is as many 'love yous' as you can give me in the next 48 hours."
Sookie smiled at the conditions of their Valentine's Day weekend. After all, being with him at all was a gift, and as much as she missed the sex, she was grateful to have him there with her. They simply lay in her small bed together, lazily stroking their fingertips over skin and Eric would occasionally tug at the ends of her hair. His tactics were no secret, but Sookie let him lull her into a light doze.
Unfortunately, the reprieve from her exhausting day ended as Jason came into her room followed by Bud Dearborne.
"Sheriff," Eric greeted in surprise.
"Sookie," Jason cleared his throat awkwardly, "I was hoping you'd be up to telling Bud, here, who did that to you. I already told him, but I guess he can't just take my word for it since I wasn't actually there."
The sister gave her brother a hard look and realized he had blood on his recently changed shirt. His hands looked a little swollen too.
"Jason," Sookie hissed, taking both brother and Sheriff by surprise, "what did you do?"
"Oh, I just knocked him around a little bit, Bud said no jury would hold me responsible," Jason grinned his rakish, stupid grin that drove his sister up the wall. "But, besides that… When the fuck did you start talking!?"
"I thi-ink it's the concuss-ssion," Sookie admitted.
"So you could lose it again?" Jason asked worriedly.
Sookie shrugged, "I don't think so."
"She's quite the chatterbox," Bud commented.
"Just like the good ol' days," Jason smiled. "Does it hurt?"
"Sore," Sookie replied as she pushed her blanket away and began to slide out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Eric asked worriedly.
"To talk to Bud," Sookie told him. "I don't want to put our hone-eymoon on hold for our first co-onjugal visit."
"Uck," Jason faked gagging as Sookie stepped out of the room with the Sheriff.
"I didn't think she'd actually do it," Eric whispered once Sookie was gone.
"Do what?" Jason asked.
"Give the names of the people who did it," Eric explained.
Jason paused, realizing that Eric had no clue what had happened. "Why's that?"
"She has a crippling guilt complex," Eric pointed out. "Haven't you noticed? She let herself be bullied for years!"
"I guess therapy's done a lot for her," Jason considered. "Or maybe you have."
"That's nice of you to say, but I'm not so sure," Eric frowned.
Jason paused a moment before clearing his throat and confessing, "I'm actually pretty serious. I mean, before you and Pam came into her life, Sookie didn't really say much."
Eric raised his eyebrows, "Up until this evening, your sister hasn't said anything."
"That's not what I mean…" Jason struggled for a moment to explain. "The notebook she carries? Before you guys, the only thing she wrote in it was answers to teacher's questions and the occasional shopping request to Gran. I don't know if she kept diaries or anything, but she never really got anything off her chest."
"She always seemed so engaged," Eric hadn't noticed any lack of socialization from Sookie. She seemed well adept at communicating the way that she did. It had never occurred to Eric that Sookie ever experienced such difficulties holding a conversation.
"Oh, she was always listening," Jason waved off Eric's comment. "She was always there, but she never let anyone in before you and Pam. Even Gran was kept an arm's length away. Maybe it's because she thought she was a burden, but it was probably because I was such a shit to her before. Whatever the reason, though, you guys coming to town and treating her like a normal person really changed her. You helped me forgive her, and you also helped her forgive herself. Not all at once, but a lot."
Eric couldn't help but smile to himself as he listened to Jason sharing these things with him. In a way, Eric hoped that he was good for Sookie. The future husband liked to think that was the truth, but to hear it confirmed was a relief. After years of being unable to connect with a girl, Eric had felt when the moment finally came, he'd be worthless to her. Instead, he found that she complimented his own nature. Where he took action, she tried to keep the peace.
As Eric found himself smiling while thinking of Sookie, her bedroom door began to open, and her face tentatively peeked inside.
"Hey there," Eric's smile didn't falter, but he felt his mood shift from contented to irritated when he was reminded of the brutalization she had endured. That swollen face and single blue eye that could look at him with concern stole most of the tranquility he had found only moments ago.
Sheriff Dearborne followed Sookie back into the room as well to say goodbye, and Eric's annoyance grew when he was not given the names of Sookie's attackers. Instead, the Sheriff tipped his hat and left without a further word.
"Didja do it, Sookie?" Jason asked hopefully, and Eric held his breath.
"Mmm," Sookie nodded and walked gingerly back to bed. Her legs felt weak, and whatever calm she had obtained since the attack, it was seeping away now.
"Are you alright?" Eric asked worriedly as he quickly hopped to her side and helped Sookie recline back onto the bed.
"I think it's all just hi-itting me now," Sookie confessed. Jason had to admit she was doing an excellent job of keeping Eric in the dark. If Dearborne could just get Bill into custody, Jason knew that Eric wouldn't do anything after that. In a way, Bill was better off being caught by himself or the police than being found by Eric. Regardless of what Bill had done, Jason still had a soft spot for his best friend not to murder him. Eric had no such reason to show restraint.
Jason had no doubt in his mind that if given a chance Eric would make sure Bill's body would never be found.
Clearing his throat to get the couple's attention, Jason gave a slight wave, "I'll get out of here and let you guys settle in for the weekend. Sook, just try and stay relaxed. Bud'll take care of everything," the brother assured his sister before leaving the room.
"Sookie?" Eric opened his arms for his future bride to curl against him.
"Hmm?"
"Say it again?" he requested quietly, and his fiancée smiled.
"I love you," she managed to choke one last time before accepting that her throat was well overworked for a single evening.
"I love you, too."
{†}
The following morning, Eric awoke in Sookie's bed, mildly confused by his location until he looked at her bruised and swollen face. Anti-inflammatories and ice had only done so much. Sookie would still be unable to open her left eye. Around the corner of her mouth had a trickle of dry blood painted across the puffy skin from a cut reopening in her sleep.
There was only one memory from last night that kept the rage from boiling over once more inside him, and that was remembering Sookie's declaration of love. Eric wasn't sure why, of all days, he had to hear those words while she was beaten, but he figured it was so he had something to distract him from murder.
"Mo-orning," Sookie choked suddenly, making Eric jump. It would take a while for him to get used to hearing her actual voice. He had still been adjusting to her 'mmm's and 'ahs.'
"Good morning," Eric whispered. "You can still talk!"
"Mmm," she replied.
"Does your throat hurt?" he asked just as softly as before, wanting to maintain the calm atmosphere.
"Mmm," she answered affirmatively.
"Do you want me to make you some tea?" Eric began to sit up but was tugged back against the pillow immediately.
"No mo-ore tea," Sookie told him. She sounded as though she had been standing in a dusty room all day and was still working the debris from her nose and throat.
"Do you want me to get you a pen and paper?" Eric offered despite the desperation he had to keep listening to her strained voice.
"Ah," she shook her head. "Sca-ared to lose it."
"Just don't push too hard, okay?" Eric told her worriedly as he leaned in to give her a gentle kiss.
Sookie nodded in understanding as she took a mental note of how she was feeling. Her ribs ached a little when she breathed in, and her face felt tender when she moved it. Though her arm was broken, it was rather quiet on the pain scale so long as it wasn't touched or jostled. All in all, Sookie determined the most unpleasant injury was her eye. The pressure from the swelling was pushing against her eye, and a constant headache had persisted since the previous night.
As if her grandmother had felt Sookie's discomfort, the old woman knocked on the door and entered with a double serving of breakfast and half a Vicodin.
"Tha-anks," Sookie mumbled as she took the pill first. Before she could chase it with the offered orange juice, though, Gran had dropped the tray all over the couple.
"Gran!" Eric shouted as he tried to stabilize the old woman who had stumbled over. "Are you alright?" he asked as he slipped out of bed, covered in breakfast, and helped the woman sit down in the little rocking chair.
"Sookie? Sookie, did you just speak?" Adele asked in tearful surprise.
"Mmm," Sookie smiled brightly, causing the tear in her lip to split back open. "I did."
"Oh, God," Adele choked as she pushed away from the chair and hugged her granddaughter with a mindful gentleness. "My sweet girl," Adele cooed as she smoothed Sookie's hair. "I'm going to see if I can get an extra appointment scheduled for you and Dr. Broadway!" she announced before bustling out of the room and leaving the couple standing and sitting in their breakfast.
"I should strip the bedding before the orange juice soaks into the mattress," Eric commented. "Why don't you go take a bath?"
"I'll wa-ait for you," Sookie's smile softened as she rolled out of bed and helped strip the blankets. When the sheets were a pile on the floor, the couple went to the bathroom and slipped out of their sticky clothing.
"No funny business," Eric warned as he turned on the water. Sookie felt her face protest as it scrunched into a would-be-pout. Watching her fiancé bend over with his perfect butt taunting her was more than enough for her to want to risk further injury. Instead, she followed the rules and didn't put additional stress into the situation. She knew Eric would blame himself if she felt any pain, and she knew lovemaking couldn't be painless for her right now.
With the water warm and filling the tub, Eric climbed in first to sit and help Sookie situate herself while keeping her cast dry.
As Sookie stepped into the hot water, Eric couldn't help but look at the insulting marks all over her body. Bruises and scrapes taunted him, mocking his inability to protect his Sookie. It wasn't until her body was nestled against his and the water turned off that Eric reclaimed his calm. He focused on washing remaining orange juice from her and maybe paying a little too much attention cleaning between her thighs. It wasn't his intention to get Sookie riled up, but something in the back of his brain warned that if he denied any interest that would hurt her more than a bit of wishful touching.
"I love you so much," Eric murmured as he finished washing them both and finally reclined into the water. Though his height made most tubs uncomfortable, or plain, old impossible to relax; Eric found the clawfoot soaker pleasantly accommodating.
"I love you, too," Sookie whispered, the steam of the bath feeling good on her sore throat. She cleared it experimentally, and more of the tension alleviated.
"How are you feeling?" Eric wondered.
"Surprised," Sookie confessed, reaching up to stroke his arm that was draped across her chest.
"About?"
"I thought I'd sound stranger," Sookie confessed.
Eric smiled and gently nuzzled the back of Sookie's head, "You did speak at one time, Sookie, and you've still mouthed words for the last year at least. I'm not surprised that most of the strain is coming from your throat."
"I suppose," Sookie considered as she closed her eyes and let the heat sink into her skin and muscles. Though some of her cuts and bruises stung and itched from the excessive warmth, the other effects were welcome.
"Sookie," Eric's voice was more hesitant this time.
"Mmm?"
"Was Bill Compton one of the assholes that attacked you yesterday?" Eric asked quietly.
Sookie paused but reasoned that Bill was safely in police custody. "He was the only attacker," she finally stated. She heard Eric suck in a deep breath from his nose and felt his arms and hands tighten briefly. They quickly relaxed as though Eric had realized he could hurt Sookie further if he lost his temper.
"I'm glad you didn't tell me at first," Eric finally found the composure he needed to respond to Sookie's confession. "I would have walked right over to his house and beat the shit out of him."
"I know," Sookie replied, remembering Jason telling her how Eric had smashed Bill's face into a locker for bullying her before.
"But why didn't you tell the police right away? Why did the Sheriff have to come out to you?" Eric wondered.
Sookie slowly explained, "I didn't know what Jason would do."
Eric's shoulders relaxed, "I see. You were just waiting for a private moment?"
"But Gran was with me once the cops sho-owed up," she continued.
"And she would have mentioned it to Jason," Eric understood at last. "So it had nothing to do with… Thinking you deserved this?" He had to be sure she was past this punching bag mentality.
"I didn't deserve thi-is," Sookie choked out. "I deserved to ho-old you this weekend."
"Yes you did," Eric agreed as he leaned around to capture her lips in a brief kiss.
Their kiss ended quickly, but silence followed until the water grew cold. Finally, the pair decided to get out of the tub and dry off. When the couple returned to Sookie's room, the soiled bedding was gone, and the bed had been redressed.
"Gran sure can move," Eric laughed to himself as he bundled Sookie into a robe and tucked them both back into bed.
"How lo-ong are you sta-aying?" Sookie asked as she snuggled carefully into his side.
"I don't know," Eric admitted as he began tugging the ends of her hair. It had become as much of a soothing action to him as it had to Sookie. When she looked up at him in confusion, Eric sighed. "I don't want to leave you."
"I don't want you to le-eave either, but you ha-ave to," Sookie smiled.
"I just don't know how I can go back to school while you're like this," Eric told her, his expression pained at the very thought.
"Only a month," Sookie comforted.
"You'll still be in a cast when I get home," Eric frowned, gingerly touching the plaster. "Maybe I could stay a few extra days."
Sookie thought for a moment, "Co-ome to my therapy session?"
When Eric nodded in agreement, Sookie felt relieved. With any luck, Amelia would be able to put some of Eric's fears to rest.
TBC
A/N: PLEASE REMEMBER TO REVIEW!