Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
A/N: Here's some clarity on why Momo has to keep her marriage a secret. She's in high school and having a boyfriend let alone a husband stirs questions. Not a good idea when you're trying to do your first mission as smoothly as possible.
To those who currently are not pleased with my story or to the ones that doesn't like me personally, and retaliating by leaving nasty reviews: this is MY fanfiction. I'm a hitsuhina fan and this is my fiction. I can make it however way I want. If you don't like it then tough, go make your own. Hah! You shouldn't waste your time writing those flames either because I just delete it after skimming through the first few words.
Then to those who will stick with me until this is done: I love you. :) And I will bestow upon you this most valuable advice: There will always be haters to bring you down. Do not listen to them. Keep on doing what you're good at and in return you will have nothing to hold you back, nothing to distract you from looking anywhere else but forward. Ignore them, because you'll only get better. ;)
Trust!
Hhmmm...now where was I? Oh right. Please read and review. ;)
WATASHI NO KOKORO (My Heart)
Chapter 61
The Rift
If chance were to offer her a choice of supernatural powers, it would be to control time. The power to transform seconds into an eternity just so to live in this long awaited moment. And in which, if it were to happen, would still be too soon.
For within this frame of time, her heart danced like never before as his fingers laced around her own. The soft trace of his breath against her skin, his lips, was enough to waken her latent sexual desires... But alas, it did arrive too soon. Immediately feeling like the biggest fool to think that this inevitable outcome would turn out to be different when Toushiro was actually prying her hands off instead of kissing her back. Leaving her utterly bereft and mortified. She didn't notice that he had let go of her legs too, minutes ago, and she only just now felt the ground. A fitting end to this far-fetched hope to be loved in return.
The crickets chirping in the background amplified as well as the awkwardness that soon made its way in between them. The heaviness of it compelled Karin to wish the venom had done its damage, for it would have surely helped with numbing the ache.
He took a step back, unable to form the question but his confused expression said it nonetheless. The crinkle between his brows deepened and his mouth moved to speak but was momentarily distracted by a faint sound of footsteps in the other end of the alley. He eased up when the sound gradually changed into a sprint, fading out into the distance. Then finally, he turned his attention back to Kurosaki. The girl's dark head bowed, she was intent on fiddling with a pleat of her blood-stained skirt.
Hitsugaya decided to dismiss the whole thing. He didn't need to waste anymore time. "We have to go."
"I'm sorry, Toushiro. I thought...I thought you've broken up." She confessed to the ground.
Hold on. What? He almost scoffed but stayed calm.
"I'm sorry. People talk and...and..."
For some reason, at that precise instant, he felt this great urge to strangle Hinamori. Like that time when she was yelling over the crowd trying to get his attention, her reckless excitement already tainting his second day at the academy. "Oi, Shiro-chan! Over here Shiro-chaaaan!" The idiot. So much for fitting in.
Karin stopped short at his expression, Oh why does he have to look so fucking disgusted? She closed her eyes tight, suppressing the shameful tears. "Toushiro ...can I please ask you just one more thing?"
He centered in on her again. He was sure she was going to ask it even if he refused.
A mixture of hurt and desperation made her latch on to this tiny sense of hope, Karin persisted. "I saw it. Even if it was for a second. It was there in your eyes." She faced him now and searched the said features.
"What was?"
"Can you truly say that —that you don't have any feelings for me, none at all?"
The question was relevant for that inexplicable spur of a second. He blamed the gigai, he blamed the possibility of venom leaking from her skin and somehow muddling his brain. He blamed the night.
But God as his witness, he did not kiss her back, that's for sure. Hitsugaya had to look away, shaking his head. This is...
"Madness."
"Please, just tell me."
He faced her then and spoke with an added edge to his voice that made the truth ring loud and unquestionable. "There is nothing."
The young Kurosaki nodded, not able to look up anymore. "Hai. That's what I thought." ...
"I apologize, Karin." The dejection on the girl's face was what made the captain uncomfortable, feeling like the most callous jerk in this entire world of the living. He was rendered a little speechless too to discover his former friend's true feelings for him. "It's just, I'm not so good with explaining these matters of the heart..." With one hand on the back of his neck and the other in his front pocket, Toushiro took his time before sighing inaudibly. "But Momo, is my wife and the mother to my children. I lack the words to better express it but she's...she is my center. And what we have, it is..."
It was still for a good few seconds, as he was easily reminded of that day when everyone thought Momo had taken her last breath—by his very blade. Yet with all the guilt set aside, if she did die that day...I would have taken my own life. But not before I've frozen hell and back.
Karin was surprised at how his tone changed as he struggles to explain this mystical love that binds him to Momo. It almost hurt to see him incapable of something that she finished his sentence for him. "Beyond human comprehension?"
He managed a small smile. "Perhaps."
"I see."
"A mere rumor shouldn't have made you believe that she and I have 'broken up.'"
"Hai. It was foolish of me Toushiro, I'm sorry." Said Karin again, feeling ashamed. Though she raised her head, extremely curious at his meaning. "Then what would lead me to believe that you and her have surely broken up?"
"I'd have to be dead." He winked.
"Huh." Duhh. That explains it all.
He interrupted by carefully lifting her bedraggled body. Grateful, that they've come to an understanding. "I'm sorry, but we really must go." He reminded once again.
She composed herself, his genuine apology eased the rejection some. "Yes, before dad starts to worry."
...
...
...
Dark blue eyes were fixed at the giant ball on the ceiling. Unappreciative of the over-the-top decorations that the student body had dedicated months of planning to execute the "Alice's Dark Whimsical Wonderland" theme. Inihara exhaled and placed his weight against a prop caterpillar statue, hiding from view. He dug a hand into his pocket, and felt for his phone. He clutched it, then restrained himself from checking the time as he had just done so about fifteen minutes ago. Though he allowed himself another glance at the entrance, scanning the flock of his classmates entering through the archway consisting of intricately woven balloons. With a downturn quirk of his mouth, he diverted his disinterested gaze about the room.
He sees Yasuo hunched over the refreshments area. The big guy was suspiciously checking over his shoulder, which only confirmed his usual tricks when it comes to such occasions. Yasuo spots him and grins, he looked around one more time before making his way, proudly bearing two white cups filled with his concoction. "You look like you might need some."
"Arigatou."
Shigeo took the cup, tilting it as his friend does the same. "Salud," they both say before taking a drink. The liquid didn't go down smoothly for Inihara. He made a half-hiccup half-gulping sound before spluttering, "The fuck you put in here?!"
His friend grinned while wiggling his bushy eyebrows. "The shit that's been sitting in my dad's liquor cabinet. Pretty strong eh?"
"Fucken poison is what it is. Warn me next time won't ya? Tsk. Here hold this while I clean up." He headed towards the restroom, shoving five strong mints into his mouth. He took his time washing the bitter taste off of his tongue, you know, just in case she shows up. Although he's not feeling too hopeful either, the reason why he didn't throw that potent drink in the trash.
Inihara raised his head from the sink to look at his slightly flustered face. He took close care on his appearance for tonight, readjusting his black-rimmed glasses, then fixed his bangs as he remembered how it annoyed her to see that one wayward lock settle on the middle of his forehead. She wouldn't say anything, but her adorable upper lip would subtly protrude which indicated a thousand concerns.
That quick vision of her face alone made him smile at himself.
So here he is. Gone is the all-around jock who duly exuded overconfidence. He stands as the person that he is, the boy who would lose himself when inspiration thrums the strings in his heart, driving him to make music or to draw something he finds sensational. These diversions are passions that he tries to hide from the world. Not because he's embarrassed of them but because he doesn't want to share it and have them taint it with their frivolous compliments. But for some weird reason, with Hinamori, he feels so much like showing her everything. No pretenses. No more bullshit.
As I am. He says to himself. His chest heaves, puffing with confidence as he glances at his reflection one more time, leaving from under the bright lights of the mirror.
..
...
...
Meanwhile...
Long-familiar to this realm of lies and deceit, Momo stood before the mirror as Tobiume's counsel had all been barred and rendered nonexistent. The same mirror that she's taken pride earlier from admiring her reflection, now magnified all her flaws.
Someone as great as he is, a God they refer to him as —can't be just tied down to one insignificant person like myself. He can be with anyone he chooses to be –with as many women he wants to be with..right? Surely that's the catch for falling in love with someone so supernal.
Mou...
For even her broken heart woes in denial, refusing to see the truth. That Hitsugaya is a corrupt man, much like the lot of them. ...He lied to me. Over and over, and over again.
Momo lost track of time. Unable to grasp unto anything as the reeling of emotions overtook her. Her nails dug into her palms as she was clenching her fists so tight. And she didn't even so much as flinch when the phone rang, she just let it ring.
Then finally, her knees buckled and she slowly sunk unto the carpet. The crumpling of paper got her attention, now staring down at the ballet sketches of a girl. What she saw was a different reflection of herself, unrecognizable because she thinks that the girl in the picture is just so lovely. Momo wanted to be her; someone who was wanted, someone who was envied for once. She studied it for a long while until she found the solution.
A decision made solely out of desperation as the ground she's been securely standing on had just been swept from under her feet.
...
...
...
...
It was the few speckles of snow dropping from the skies that finally steered his attention away. He looked at his watch and felt no regret towards the few hours he'd spent on the porch just watching, waiting for her to make some sort of move. And nothing, except maybe from huddling her knees closer to her chest for warmth. The only nagging regret however, as he resumes his studious post, was agreeing to her conditions when she showed up three nights ago at the dance...
(Tritonal ft. Phoebe Ryan plays in the background)
Everything was in slow motion when he finally saw her step in, searching for someone. She didn't even look down to watch the few steps that lead to the dance floor, as she made her way to blend in with the throng of teenagers. And it was strange that he knew right then that it was him she was looking for.
The walls are paper thin
You're moving in I can see right through somehow
It all makes sense, me caving in
But I barely know you...
I'd rather have one night than nothing forever...
Yeah, that would be alright with me.
Their eyes finally met from across the room, unmindful of the other bodies dancing, bumping in their paths. She continued on towards him, bearing this quiet determination. The brown pools also seemed pleading, he couldn't really explain as he was trying to keep cool. His stupid heart was jumping beats, in sync with the bass of the song.
It's now or never. Now or never…
They stood about a foot apart, not sure on who should break the ice first. Hinamori touched him, to hold his hand. Her fingers were cold though it warmed his whole body by degrees.
He just stared, his tongue was caught but then finally had the sense to mouth "Hi" over the loud music. She moved closer and tipped her toes to voice out her purpose. "Take me away from here, Inihara-San."
Well he didn't expect that. "Uh–are you sure?"
"Yes."
Shigeo pulled them away from the crowd, whisking her behind a prop leafless tree. He was tentative to touch her at first, but the sense of triumph and ownership took over at this point. He skimmed the back of his fingers across the soft porcelain cheek. She didn't flinch at his touch, which was a good sign. "Are you okay? You're cold. I'll get my jacket in the car—"
"Will you promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Don't say that. I'm sorry. Eto...maybe...maybe this isn't a good idea."
Inihara grabbed her arm, a little too quickly in case she slips away. "We will be leaving. I promise."
"I just...I just don't want anymore questions."
What the fuck? "Why?" But he checked himself when she tried to pull away again. "I'm sorry. I won't ask anymore."
"You really mean that?"
"Yeah. I swear."
Himamori shut her eyes for a moment to gather more composure. "Alright then." She held his wrist to clasp a dark band around it, similar to the ones she was wearing, then finally looked up at him. "I'll follow."
...
The night turned out to be unseasonably warm as the dark blue convertible zipped up the winding mountain roads. A three hour trip that Inihara made into one whilst he casted glances towards Momo's solemn profile. He studied her more as the roads became more smooth and familiar, thankful for the jet-like whirring of the engine as it prevented him from asking her all these questions.
They were headed to a place that always filled him with carefree memories. It was once upon a time when his parents used to like each other, strange really, to remember them holding hands yet presently can't even have a conversation without a lawyer in between them... He subconsciously mused while slowing the car under a canopy of shadows made by the melancholic branches of a willow tree.
The sound of nature resumed and filled the silence when Inihara turned off the engine. He too was quiet, lost in his nostalgic recollections.
Momo woke from her trance, slowly realizing that they've arrived at their destination. She held on to the top of the windshield and rose, her hair a little wild from the wind.
And with her eyes transfixed at the large-scaled reflection of the moon on the placid waters, Momo found her voice.
"It's a lake house."
"It used to be my parents. But I'm the only one that comes here now...to find myself."
"And did you?"
"Yes, every time. And then I got distracted with school and other things that I've not visited in years."
"So all this, is yours?"
"Yes. A gift. It makes them feel a lil' less guilty by showering us with all the extravagance, to replace for unspent time."
Though he tried to keep the harbored bitterness from his parents' divorce secret, Momo saw clearly through it. Feeling guilty from suddenly feeling a bit of comfort in hearing someone else's problems, that she was inclined to find out more.
"It's beautiful." She said but then suddenly gasped when the house lights turned on.
"It's ok Hinamori-san, it's just the servants. Come, let's go in."
Momo trailed behind him as she was taken to a tour of the large yet homey abode. Smiling apologetically at the maids as they hurried about, accommodating to their unexpected guests. The tour ended in front of the fireplace, where a nice flame was just rekindled.
Inihara saw her reverting to the troubles that's been festering in her mind as she stared much too intently at the fire. A hand balled into a fist had settled on her chest. A gesture that he has come to learn, as a sign of great distress. He grabbed the throw from the couch and stood in front of her, draping the soft fabric around her stiff shoulders.
"Hinamori."
"..."
"Momo."
That got her attention, as she found herself arrested by the dark blue sapphires, along with the concern in his soothing voice. It was all too familiar.
Aizen.
Inihara was visibly relieved. "There you are."
"Sorry. But I'm fine really."
"Somehow, I kinda find that hard to believe."
Hinamori moved away to look out of the living room's massive bay windows and Inihara in turn just stared at her back then decided to tend to the fire as she may have also been cold. For he's willing, at this point, to do anything in order to ease her comfort.
He added another hefty log into the flame. "The room I showed you earlier, the one facing the stables. It used to be Mitsuku's, my mother's. She still has her clothes in there. Please feel free to use them."
"Thank you, Inihara-san." ...
"You're welcome. I'll come get you when dinner is ready."
He looked over his shoulder when he didn't get a reply, and wasn't too surprised to find that she had already left the room.
...
A/N: The next chapter will be more interesting, I promise. ;) Please read and review. I love you guys. 'Til the end!