DISCLAIMER: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.

Dimitri's mouth was just as I had remembered—familiar, soft, and warm. As soon as the kiss deepened, so did the electricity passing through us. It was like an explosion had been set off in my body. All I knew was that I needed Dimitri. He was my soul purpose.

My mind was in a numb haze, and before I knew what was happening, his shirt had disappeared, then mine. My bra was next, and the rest of our clothes followed, landing in piles on the floor.

As I was naked and fully exposed to him, I felt so confident. Which was shocking, considering I hated it when people on the street looked at my body with distaste.

Dimitri was so gentle with me the entire time we made love, and the feelings and emotions were just as strong as the first time when he'd taken my virginity. There was a burning intensity in his dark eyes as they roamed over my moving body underneath him...like I was the most beautiful girl in the world to him, no matter if my ribs showed and my hips bones stuck out from my skin. For some incredibly unfathomable reason, he still desired me.

With each thrust and careful caress and kiss, he chipped away at my walls, breaking them down brick by brick, until there was nothing left but debris and floating dust in the air.

Afterwards, I clung to his naked body as if my life depended on it. Then, with a low and shaky voice, said the only thing I could, "Thank you and I'm sorry." Those words held the power of the world because I meant them with every fiber of my being.

"It wasn't your fault—"

"I'm not talking about Ivan," I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder, laying my cheek against his side so I could hear his steady heartbeat. "I'm saying sorry to you. For everything bad I've done to you in the past year. Giving up on you. Pushing you away. Telling you that I no longer loved you. It was all a lie. And although I know that one lifetime won't be nearly long enough to make it up to you, I want to spend every day of the rest of my life trying."

There was a long stretch of silence, then he leaned down and captured my lips. "I forgive you."

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and whispered, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you forgive me? I don't deserve it—"

"I. Forgive. You." he said sternly. "Simple as that. You don't need to know the details. The only thing you need to know is that you are forgiven."

"Thank you," My voice cracked with emotion, and I cleared my throat harshly in attempt to keep it under control. "Thank you. I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me forever."

"Oh, Roza," he traced the angles of my face, touch light as a feather. "I could never hate you. You are the person I care most about, more than myself and my family. You could do all kinds of horrible things…but nothing in this world could ever make me hate you."

There wasn't anything I could say back to that. Words couldn't even begin to describe the extent of my gratitude. So, I did the only thing I could to express how thankful I was. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, squeezed my eyes shut, and fell asleep in his blanket of warmness and absolute security. It was more than I could ask for and way more than I ever deserved, but I snoozed like a baby, finally finding my true self and only exit out of my hellhole.

I was free.

"Thanks," I smiled as Dimitri handed me his black sweater. I quickly tugged it over my head and indulged in the softness.

"May I take you to breakfast?" he asked, sitting on the disheveled motel bed. There was something on his face that I couldn't describe, something intense, like he wanted to say so much more but was holding himself back from crossing the line or stepping into dangerous, unwelcome territory.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd come with me somewhere."

"Where?"

"You'll see," I grabbed his hand. The strength and size of it was outstanding, and so heartbreakingly familiar. "Come with me. Please."

He stood up and followed me.

Outside, the wind was blistering and strong enough to make your eyes water and sting. It was early September and the first signs of fall shown in the mid-fifties temperature and naked trees. As we walked down the road and turned left on Bailey Street, heading for Memory Gardens Cemetery, the multi-colored leaves crunched under our shoes in brilliant bursts of reds, oranges, and yellows.

For some ridiculous reason, I giggled and broke away from Dimitri, running to a small puddle of rain a few feet ahead. "It's so beautiful out today!" I kicked the water with my sneaker, sending an explosion of droplets of crystal clear liquid across the sidewalk.

Next, I ran to a through the grass, dropped down, and scooped up a pile of fallen leaves. Still laughing, I threw them up in the air as I twirled around, loving the sight and feel and smell of them drifting down all around me in their vibrant colors.

When I looked back at Dimitri, I found that he'd stop and was watching me with a warm smile.

"That was the most fun I've had in so long!" I ran back to him and grabbed his hand.

Minutes later, we'd made it to Memory Gardens.

I stared down at the words on Ivan's small headstone,

Remembering a tiny angel

Ivan Mason Belikov

"You know," I whispered. "I've only ever been here alone."

It was true. I had never been there with anyone else, let alone Dimitri, my passed child's father. It was such a strangely heart wrenching yet moving moment.

He wrapped his body around me from behind, palms going to rest on my flat stomach. God, that crisp aftershave...it was intoxicating.

"I miss him."

He hugged me tighter. "Me too. More than anything in this world."

We didn't say much after that, but then again, words weren't necessary, silence was.

It wasn't my fault. Those words were pounding in my brain over and over again until it was hard to concentrate on anything else. And that's when I realized they were the truth.

It wasn't my fault.

It was like a switch had been turned on. A surge of something close to lighting struck me in the chest and shattered my whole world apart. The force of the realization and emotion threw me in the sky as if I had been shot out of the barrel of a gun.

Why had it taken me so long to understand this?

Life as I knew it was different. Everything was different. And it had taken me long enough to wake up and understand that fact.

I'd been so wrong. Moping and sobbing around, letting my health decline, allowing myself to die, or ultimately committing suicide wasn't going to bring Ivan back. And though I loved my baby boy more than I loved myself, I needed to move on. Not forget him, but move on.

It was time to make Ivan's spirit proud, by being the mom he would want me to be and the loving partner to Dimitri, his daddy.

As crazy as it sounded, it was like light was being shed from above, spilling into my soul, ridding it of all the awful darkness. Ivan was smiling down on me from heaven, telling me he was okay and happy where he was.

That was the final steel boot-to-ass kick back into reality.

I dropped to my knees on the grave and fisted my fingers in the grass, balling like a baby. These tears were different though…they were of acceptance, not sadness, as the thousands of others I'd shed had been.

In the past year, I had ruined so many lives, crushed so many hearts and hopes, done wrong by so many people. It was time I did right by the ones that meant so much to me.

Welcome to

ST. AUGUSTINE MILITARY ACADEMY

Those bold words were like a stinging slap to my face, and I struggled to keep control. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my inhaler and shakily brought the plastic lips to my mouth.

The very last time I had been here I'd been knocked unconscious with a bat and kidnapped by Tasha and Victor's brother, Robert.

"It's okay," Dimitri whispered as we walked, smart enough to keep his distance. "Nothing is going to hurt you here. You're safe."

Nodding, I said, "I know."

Sixteen minutes later, we were where I wanted to be.

"Would you like me to give you a moment alone?" Dimitri asked.

I shook my head. "Stay. Please."

He went to knock on the door—

"No!" I shouted. "Sorry. It's just…I need to do this on my own. To reassure myself that it's real."

Wordlessly, he stepped back and folded his arms.

Lifting my fist, I struck the wood four times with knuckles I couldn't feel.

"You're a bigger baby than your daughter is! Just change the diaper. Don't forget the powder, she's got a little rash on her bottom." The oak flew open.

Lissa blinked a couple of times, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing was real.

And stopped moving completely.

"Hi." I waved shyly. Had she gotten more beautiful? Was that even possible? Apparently, it was. Dressed in pale jeans and a simple yellow turtle neck, she was the glowing woman mothers killed to be after giving birth.

"Rose?" her voice cracked. "What are you doing here?"

Tears welled up in my eyes, burning them, and I quickly wiped away the blurriness, not wanting to miss the angel in front of me. The one I used to have the honor of calling my best friend.

There were only three words I could say.

And they were, "I'm so sorry."

We just stared at each other for the longest time, not moving, barely even breathing.

The deafening silence was broken with one of Lissa's soft sobs. She hunched down into herself, clutching her stomach and wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve.

"Oh, God, Rose." she sniffled.

Then she straightened her shoulders, cried out, and ran into my arms, all but tackling me to the ground.

"You're back!" Lissa hugged me so hard, and I hugged her back even harder.

The two of us balled our eyes out as we clutched each other desperately and mumbled incoherent things like mental patients. As the rest of the world faded away, blurring all around us, a heavy load was lifted off my shoulders, and I no longer felt like my collarbones were going to crush.

We probably looked like a team of crazies, but I didn't give a damn. Lissa was all that mattered to me in that moment, even if her makeup was running and her eyes and cheeks were black like a raccoons and she was smearing her mascara all over my skin and sweater.

"I'm so sorry, Rose!" her voice was hysterical. "I should never have talked to you the way I did. I thought, maybe if I scared you, it would help and you'd be back to normal. That was so wrong of me. Can you ever forgive me?"

I socked her in the arm. "Shut the hell up, you dumb ass! Don't talk like that!" There was absolutely nothing she needed to be apologetic for. She'd been trying to help. It wasn't her fault. It was absolutely and infinitely mine.

Distantly, I heard someone yell, "Oh, pewf! Nasty baby—Ahh!. I got it on my finger. Baby doo doo!" There was the sound of feet smacking across carpet, then running water being turned on and off. More feet sounds. "Sweet Jesus, Rosie. Don't give me the quivering lip. You know I'll break—Oh, God. Okay. Fine. Your mommy is going to be mad at me, but here's your cracker anyways."

A loud coughing and spitting noise. "Oh, you so did that on purpose! You're outrageous."

The door opened, and Christian came out, cradling his daughter in his arms. There was baby powder sprinkled all over his hair and face and mouth.

There was a moment of silence.

Lissa and I broke out in laughter. Well, it was a mixture of laughter and crying, both emotions were fueled with hysteria.

Abruptly, Little Rose—or Rosie, as Christian apparently liked to call her—spotted me and her face went beet-red, and the waterworks were in full flow. She reached her small, chubby arms towards me, pleading with me to pick her up.

I could only gasp and step back, clutching one hand to my racing heart.

Lissa glanced back at her husband and their daughter. "Take her back inside, babe. Put her in her crib—"

"Can I hold her?"

All of their faces, including Dimitri's and Rosie's, turned to stone, their eyes flaring with shock.

"A-a-a are you sure?" Christian stuttered—something he never did.

"If you'll let me," I said unsurely. "I promise not to drop her."

"We know that. And we trust you with her beyond the shadow of a doubt." Lissa beamed, face positively radiant. "Let me properly introduce you to your niece, Rose."

Lissa reached over to Christian and they transferred weight, putting their daughter in her mother's arms. The infant's wails were louder now, as if she were demanding attention her parents couldn't provide her with and was tired of being ignored.

Lissa held her daughter out to me. "Rose meet Rose. Rosie is what we call her, careful not to get the two of you mixed up—"

"Yeah, because the resemblance is startling," Christian said, then threw his head back and laughed at his own joke.

"Anyways," Lissa rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "This is Aunty Rose, baby. She wants to hold you."

I was afraid that the infant would cringe away from me, cling to her mother like her life depended on it just so she wouldn't have to touch me, or scream when she got near me, but Rosie all but leaped out of Lissa's arms and into my own.

"Hi, Aun-eeee Ro Ro." Rosie cooed, staring up at me with ice-blue eyes she'd inherited from her father.

I just stood there as rigid and stiff as a boulder, not even bothering with the whole natural breathe-in-and-out routine. Feeling filthy and unworthy of touching Rosie's perfect and clean skin, I rubbed my hand on the outside of my jeans and shakily brought it to her cheek.

My, God…"She's got the softest skin in the world, doesn't she?" Christian voiced my thoughts with a smirk. Oh yeah, he was bragging about his daughter. I would be too.

"Sometimes…" he continued. "I just want to get some barbeque sauce and cover her in it and then,"—he brought his hands up to his mouth, bobbed his head up and down vigorously, as if her were munching on corn—"Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!"

Vaguely, I was aware of them all staring at me with wonder on their faces and love in their hearts.

"She likes me," I announced, glancing back at Dimitri. "She really likes me!"

"Of course she does," was all he said.

As I stroked Rosie's cheek, she opened her mouth in the biggest grin ever, giggled, and leaned forward, placing sloppy, adorable kisses all over my face.

"Hey, Rosie," Christian came forward and whispered something in her ear.

The giggle that came for the infant melted your heart on the spot. "Eye eeem! Eye keem!" she clapped her hands together.

"What did she say?" I asked, upset with myself. If only I had been the aunt I should have been from the start, I would have understood her baby language by now. But no, I was as good as any stranger on the street.

Damn it. With an inward curse, I promised myself I would make it up to my niece. The two of us were going to be having so much fun and bonding time her little head was going to be spinning with delight.

"I'll tell you if you tell her no,"

My brows went up. "Okay,"

"She wants ice cream," Christian said, then looked at his daughter. "Ask Aunty Rose again. She didn't hear you."

"Eye keem! Eye keeeem!"

Oh, God. I swallowed hard. "No, honey. You can't have any before dinner."

Rosie's bottom lip trembled, quaked, eyes sparkled with fresh tears.

My heart broke into a million pieces and my control shattered apart. "Sweet Jesus! Give this kid all the ice cream she wants! Heck, Dimitri make arrangements for two dump trucks to deliver a billion buckets of Rocky Road. I don't care. Just make sure she never does The Lip again! I won't stand for it."

"Bahahaha!" Rosie giggled, pointing at my face. She looked around with a dazzling grin, accepting praise for her amazing acting skills.

"Oh, boy. You little terd!" I bounced her tiny body up and down on my hip. "I love you."

"I have a feeling those two are going to get along fantastically." Christian muttered.

It was a week and a half later when I finally mustered up enough courage to do what I had to do. Holding the slightly melted, half-eaten M&M McFlurry in my hand, I walked through the apartment and set the ice cream down on the table.

Dimitri lifted his eyes from the western novel he was reading. "Hi, my Love." He offered a smile, the special one he gave only to me. "How was her birthday party?"

"Awesome," My voice was breathless from anxiety. I took my seat, rubbing my sweaty palms together. "Rosie and I threw cupcakes at this little boy that pushed her into the ball pool. Waste of treats, but so worth getting him back for the way he treated my niece, especially on her first b-day—God, is it hot in here or what?"

He arched a brow and took a sip from his steaming mug. "Something wrong?"

"No, no. Nothing at all." I said. "Hey! Look at that McFlurry. It looks awfully lonely. You should eat it. Fast!"

Brow still cocked, he palmed the plastic spoon and took a bite of ice cream.

Leaning forward, I waited anxiously, most likely looking a little more than crazy with my bulging eyes. "Well, go ahead. Don't eat like a Nancy. Hurry up!"

Two minutes later, he frowned and pulled something off his tongue. "What's this…paper?" Sticking his fingers in the cup, he searched around and drug out the orange Post it note I had buried inside.

Dimitri squinted, reading the words I had written with a Sharpie:

MARRY ME, COMRADE?