I Don't Want to be a Hero - Second Year
Chapter Twenty-Four
31 Oct 1992 - Halloween Feast
Harry was unable to appreciate the Malfoy cottage on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. He shared a bedroom with Draco and that is where he collapsed as exhaustion and worry for his father took him into a somnolent state of peace.
The Malfoys shared dinner, and spoke quietly of Severus. All were aware of their little visitor upstairs who slept away the night.
The next morning Harry awoke late with Draco, and they joined his parents for breakfast. Breakfast was out in a small garden beneath a gazebo protected on all sides from the elements. Two house elves took care of the cottage but it was Lucius that served breakfast to everyone.
Once breakfast was completed a visit to St. Mungos was made, and although the patient slept the entire time, Harry felt refreshed after spending some quiet time talking softly to his father.
Narcissa had stayed at the cottage, and Lucius found himself with two excited boys who were discussing Halloween, the feast, and what Harry knew of the Muggle side of the holiday.
Lucius, who was getting tired just as noon rolled around decided on a quick, light lunch at a place in Hogsmeade called Pottingers Cafe. They had sandwiches, and Lucius vetoed the pumpkin juice both asked for. Draco tried to tell his father that it was packed with vitamins (which it was) and he countered with the amount of sugar in the ghastly juice (which it had). Lucius decided on milk, and while they ate he decided that a trip to a magical oriented theme park was in order.
The theme park was in Wales, and was called Gulliver's Magical Kingdom. A round trip portkey was purchased at the owl post office, and they were soon on their way.
Many of the amusements were very much like those that children rode except the Flying Mountain was a racecourse for brooms flying, there was an old-fashioned train beset on all sides with a variety of harmless jinxes thrown by evil wizards and snaggle-toothed hags. Children came out giggling from Laughing jinxes, or with Jelly Legs, big noses, googly-eyes, tiny mouths.
There was a real haunted house that was a labyrinth inside with several different exits. The best exit was a slippery slide of gushing water that would spit the explorers out through the highest window and onto a bouncing cushion of air that bounced them until they reached a slide of air that let them down to the ground.
In addition there were various roller coasters, log flume type of rides, merry-go-rounds. There was also a strip of skill entertainments from the Muggle darts throwing to casting various spells to either squirt water, levitate objects, or blow milk bottles down with air.
Lucius allowed himself to be talked into a few games of skill and chance. For Draco he won a silver coloured dragon that sneezed smoke, and for Harry he won a set of watercolour pastels.
Six of the clock rolled around, and Lucius tried to declare that a nap was in order when they reached the cottage but both boys refused with pleas, and bribes. Lucius gave up, but only after accepting a bribe of making all the beds in the Malfoy cottage from his son, and Harry had promised to weed, and de-gnome the garden.
The Halloween Feast of 1992
Lucius delivered his charges to Hogwarts at seven, with energy, and stomachs that demanded more. Lucius watched as Draco and Harry raced up to the castle to meet their friends. Lucius then yawned, and Apparated back to Narcissa and the cottage.
Harry, Draco, Hermione, Fred, George, Luna, Ginny, and Neville who had talked Ron into joining them all took the end of the Gryffindor table near where the teachers table normally was.
Harry related what he could of his father, and Hermione explained what lung cancer was. Everyone was suitably shocked.
"I'm sorry about your dad, Harry," Ron piped up. He had been quiet the whole time.
"Thanks, Ron," replied Harry. He really had not expected Ron to say anything. For a moment they stared at each other; both missing their friendship but each wondering if it could ever be repaired.
"Harry… I… uhm…" Ron stumbled over his words.
"I can't apologise, Ron," said Harry softly. "You're judging Slytherins on the sins of their parents, and that's wrong. You already have seen that some of those Death Eaters didn't all want to be torturers and murderers. You know my dad, and you know Draco's dad. Even your dad is friends with Professor Malfoy, now."
"I know, Harry, but…" Ron hesitated, and crossed his arms over his chest.
George spoke up, "Everything is changing, Ronnikins, and you have to learn that you can't just judge people on whether or not they like snakes or lions."
Fred added, "You're not dim, little brother, lazy maybe, but you're not dim. You need to think…"
Hermione interrupted, "It's chess, Ron," she smiled. "You know that no game is ever the same because every opponent is different. Life is like that… thousands of ever-changing facets, and you need to see that."
Ron nodded, "Yeah… yeah, that makes sense, 'Mione." He grinned, but then his smile sobered as he looked at Harry. "I am sorry, Harry. What I said was thoughtless… there's no excuse but I'll try to be better. I just want my friends back 'cuz I miss all of you. You, too, Draco. You're an annoying ferret but I want you as my friend anyway," he chuckled softly towards Draco.
Harry definitely wanted to protest but Draco stopped him, and spoke in his ear, "You can't change what everyone grew up with overnight, Harry. Let's keep Ron with us, and he'll learn that not all Slytherins are bad."
Harry nodded to Draco but then he was quiet as he thought over both his friends words. He did want instant fixes for broken things but he knew that the reality was there were no instant fixes. He had slept in a cupboard for eleven years because no one cared to see what was wrong right in front of them. His own father would be gone from his side because of a Muggle disease that even though magic could cure it it could not do so overnight. He looked deeply into Ron's eyes, and he could see that the boy wanted his friends back.
Harry nodded, and Ron let go of the breath he was holding. "We missed you, too, Ron."
As fixes went it was not perfect because none of them were perfect. They were growing, and learning, and Harry was sure that if he, Hermione, and Draco kept Ron as a friend they would teach him that life was not simply black and white.
Harry laughed. Such philosophy was his father's thing; it was a grown-up thing, and he'd had enough. He had his friend back, and by Christmas he would have his father back.
With the re-forming of the Quartet the Halloween Feast was ushered in with all the wonderful, indulgent foods that any child could think of. Cheers went up at the sight of the decadent booty, and above them the clear night sky projected on the Enchanted Ceiling faded away as a darker, stormier sky took precedence.
White, fluffy clouds became faint wisps that could possibly be ghosts. They drifted down from the sky carrying with them multitudes of squeaking, flying bats, chittering skulls, and laughing pumpkins. Sweets wrapped in the colourful foils of the four Houses rained from the ceiling every time someone said 'boo'!
Mist rolled along the floor in the Great Hall and screams and laughter rose up from various tables as the ghost of the Houses, Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, the Bloody Baron, the Fat Friar, and The Grey Lady appeared in the mist. The poltergeist Peeves cackled, flew, dropped colours of slime from above on unsuspecting students. Thankfully the prefects all had a Charm to remove the slime.
The Office of the Headmistress
As the door to Minerva's office opened she was not paying attention as she finished some grading she had fallen behind upon. A nervous clearing of the throat alerted her to the fact that her visitor was not a student. She glanced up.
"Sirius Black!" dropping her quill she rose from her chair and rushed around her desk to him. Her hug was brief, but tight, and conveyed how much she had missed him. "Weren't you sent to Grimmauld Place until Peter Pettigrew was found? You didn't escape, did you?"
He smiled, and his blue eyes twinkled. "Hagrid caught the little rat," he replied. "This evening. Straight away he took the beast to the Ministry, and I was freed about an hour ago."
"Hagrid? I would think he'd keep the rat as a pet. How did he know about Pettigrew?" she asked urging him to sit with her near her fireplace.
"Seems he's very good at catching animals," he chuckled softly. "Moody urged the Aurory to hire Hagrid. Moody claimed Hagrid was the only that could catch the 'vile Death Eater'. They were both quiet for several minutes and the air in the room grew awkward. Sirius spoke up again, "I'm looking for Remus and Albus. I understand they're living here?"
"Yes. Over in the guest quarters through the Hall of Armor. You can Floo to them from here if you wish," Minerva offered. They both moved closer to the flames, and Minerva threw the Floo powder into the flames. "Albus Dumbledore's Quarters." Once the orange flames turned to green she called forth, "Gentlemen, you have a visitor. May I send him through?"
"Of course, Minerva," came Remus' voice.
Sirius was about to jump through but Minerva stopped him. "Sirius, is everything all right?"
Sirius paused, smiled at Minerva, then shook his head. "I have to find out why Snape's got James." With that curious statement he jumped into the Floo, and vanished.
Albus' Home in Hogwarts
Sirius, never graceful on his feet, especially after twelve years in Azkaban, stumbled through the green flames and into the arms of his friend, Remus. Remus caught him, helped to steady the man, and Sirius winced. The Healers had fixed his leg but still deep down muscle, sinew, and bone that had been broken a few times too many, it still ached.
"Sirius! Your confinement is over, I see," remarked Remus.
Sirius chuckled as he straightened his waistcoat and brushed at a spare bit of soot. "Hagrid caught Pettigrew, the little blighter."
"Hagrid?"
Sirius nodded. "Hagrid may be a load short of a brick but he knows animals, and he was hired by the Aurory to catch Peter in his Animagus form." Remus showed him to a chair, and Sirius looked around him. "Nice place."
The sitting room, as dubbed by Albus, held a number of his gadgets that chimed, bobbed, or ticked, and a wall of books. Oddly, there were living portraits of a few of the past Heads of Hogwarts, and the mantle held at least a dozen moving photographs of Sirius, James, Remus, Harry, Severus, and all of the teachers.
Sirius watched a photo of James dancing with Lily on the day of their wedding.
"I miss James and Lily," Sirius sighed.
"I do, too," Remus smiled sadly.
"Do you know Snivellus brought Harry to visit me at St. Mungos?" Remus shook his head, and leaned forward slightly. Instead of going into his statement in depth he glanced around again. "Where's Albus?"
"In bed, asleep," replied Remus. "He tires easily. Albus wanted to go to the Halloween Feast but fell asleep before we could go. He might wake up, though. His sleep pattern is erratic."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Dementia," answered Remus. "Not quite like the Muggle Dementia. This also affects magic. Albus' magic has decreased in strength, thankfully, because he is having problems with bouts of Accidental Magic when he gets angry, and his magic is also… leaking."
"That's awful," said Sirius as he rose up on his feet to settle his gaze upon a photo of Harry with, unfortunately, Severus. "Snivellus is Harry's father now." He shook his head tautly.
Remus' lips thinned. "I know. Albus vouched for the blackguard during the adoption. I don't know why he would but a letter from him even with diminished capacity is inviolable."
"He did?" Remus nodded. Sirius turned away, "You tried to contest the adoption?"
"Of course I did," replied Remus hotly. "As soon as I heard of it I spoke to Minerva but she said that Snape 'loves Harry'." He sneered darkly. "I then went to the Ministry, and this was before Albus' letter, I was told I needed proof of Severus Snape's incompetence of being a parent. Albus then told me that Severus cared deeply for Harry; perhaps even loved him."
Sirius snorted, "Hah! As if that one knows anything about love. You remember how dangerous his obsession with Lily was." He shook his head, and paced. "I never thought we'd get her away from him but that git finally showed his true colours when he called Lily a Mudblood." Sirius smiled brightly at the old memory of Severus Snape hanging upside down with his humiliation exposed for all to laugh at.
Remus grimaced, at first, but then his lips thinned. "Snape is at St. Mungos."
Sirius ended his smile, sat down, and scooted his chair closer to his friend. "He is? Do you know why he's there?"
Slowly Remus shook his head, "Just sick is all I get. Minerva has told me nothing, and Albus is upset with the portrait of Dilys Derwent since she will say nothing. She has a copy of her portrait in St. Mungos, too."
"What about the students?" asked Sirius. "They're great with gossip."
"Other than the fact that Snape is sick there is no other gossip," Remus rose and Summoned a copy of the Daily Prophet. He folded it until a very small article was revealed, "Read this, Sirius."
Sirius squinted at the article, and then read it aloud, "Severus Snape, Potions Master, and teacher of Potions at Hogwarts is in St. Mungos for an extended stay. According to sources, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, the Potions Master is having some breathing problems connected with several ingredients in which he uses in class. He will be fine and is expected to resume his duties at Christmas." Sirius threw the paper to the floor. "That's it? I'm disappointed. The Daily Prophet's always been good for the best gossip. Why isn't there more? 'Breathing problems'?"
Remus smiled. His friend seemed more lucid now that he was out of hospital, and free from confinement and ever going back to Azkaban. Maybe with Sirius in his court they could both convince Harry of how awful Snape was, and still is. Perhaps neither of them could adopt Harry but they would be sure that he lived in a house where people actually cared about him. Maybe the Weasleys. They were decent folk.
"Remmie, who is taking care of Harry while Snivellus is relaxing at St. Mungos?" asked Sirius plopping down in his chair.
Remus thought a moment, his brow wrinkling as he tapped his chin with his finger. "Both the Headmistress and the Head of House have temporary parental custody of the student during term. I don't see Harry going anywhere, and students don't get to go to Hogsmeade until third year. Oh, and he's on the Quidditch team and practices and games are on the weekend. Why?"
"We need to speak to Harry," Sirius declared forcefully. "With Snivellus away we'll have plenty of time to show the boy what a mistake he's made. If the law hasn't changed since I moved in with the Potters, Harry has the right, the only right, to decide not to be Snivvy's son!" He clapped his hands in triumph, and grinned.
Remus smiled thinly as his eyes crinkled in that way young children were wary of; he looked like the wolf he was, but then the wolf vanished, "I can check the law but what if we're wrong?"
Sirius was about to shout in denial when he was interrupted by a kindly voice, "Sirius! My boy, you're just in time for the Halloween Feast!" Albus had awakened from his nap, and had come into his sitting room dressed in orange robes trimmed in black velvet.
Sirius glared at Remus, but then he shrugged. Remus, as always, would not be an impediment for him to worry about.
Harry was really enjoying himself at the Halloween Feast. Of course there was lots of food but there was socialising amongst the students, and band called the Slithering Serpents had arrived midday through the main meal to provide music, and then all the sweets had been magic'd to a buffet, and all the tables were removed for dancing. Younger years had to leave at 10pm but at least they could dance or like Ron, eat until sugar was pouring from their ears. Madame Pomfrey stood at the door to the Great Hall handing out Stomach Soothing Potion for anyone that needed it.
Even though he had never danced before Harry got up the nerve to ask Luna to dance, and when Ginny asked him to dance he shrugged, and did so. At least then the music was fast and holding was not a requirement.
The feast did end, though, and somewhat sourly for Harry. Albus Dumbledore arrived with his companion Remus Lupin, and with him was Sirius Black; the man who had called his father cowardly.
Harry had intended to eat a few more treacle tarts but after seeing the new arrivals he lost his appetite. He tried to socialise with his friends but Black and Lupin kept staring at him.
"Wonder what Sirius Black is doing here," commented Ron. "Shouldn't he be in Azkaban?"
"I'd say they likely caught a rat," mused Fred, with a smile. Ron stared at him in puzzlement.
George clarified, "Peter Pettigrew is an unregistered Animagus, Ronnikins. A rat."
"More precisely, a rat named Scabbers," chuckled Fred.
"That filthy familiar of Percy's?" asked Hermione in disgust. She had never seen it but Percy complained about it being gone a lot. "I thought he lost it."
George nodded, "Scabber's scarpered after term started last year."
Draco asked, "So if the rat was caught then that means Pettigrew was alive? And, Black is free?"
Fred smiled, "It appears so, Little Malfoy."
"They keep staring at you, Harry," pointed out Luna. "Are they Legilimens trying to take secrets from your mind?"
Harry's jaw dropped, "Legili… what? Mind readers?" He sent a dark glare right back at the two looky-loos and the two adults turned away their stares.
"Legilimens, Harry," said George. "A wizarding mental discipline that allows a wizard to discern emotions or thoughts uppermost in your mind."
"Not technically mind reading," added Fred.
"And, you have to be stared at for it to work?" asked Harry glancing over his shoulder. Black and Lupin were staring again at him.
Hermione corrected, "I read that a Legilimens has to look right in your eyes, Harry. I think they're just looking at you."
"Well, it's creepy. I'm going back to Gryffindor," decided Harry. He strode across the floor headed for the entrance to the Great Hall and was followed by his friends.
The entourage were stopped suddenly when Sirius Black stepped right in front of them.
"Harry, I wanted to apologise to you for my behaviour in hospital the other day…"
Harry interrupted him, "I don't care what you're here for, Black." He sneered as disrespectfully as he could, and Sirius took a step back. "I'm going to bed, and you're in my way."
"Mine, too," piped up Ron.
Go away, Black," dismissed Draco.
Harry pushed past Sirius, and his friends, in support of him, did the same. Fred and George both remained where they were; the twins studied Sirius, and he in turn studied them.
"Disrespectful… little shite," muttered Sirius looking after Harry and his group of friends.
"He can be a sharp piece of flint," agreed Fred.
George explained, "Harry cares about his dad, sir, and even though everyone has told him otherwise he still thinks he's going to lose him."
Sirius glared at George. "Snivellus is turning him into that," spat the older man. "And, that great, smelly bat only has Harry because Snivellus knows it would irritate James horribly."
Both Fred and George, like Harry and some of his friends, had read the exploits of the Marauders. Many bordered on bullying but pranksters themselves, they appreciated some of the pranks the Marauders pulled as long as they were not disrupting class or mealtime with them.
They had also read Professor Slughorn's despair in comments he wrote having to do with the Marauders and several of his Slytherins including the four Gryffindors hatred of Severus Snape.
"Sir," broached Fred carefully, "Professor Snape has grown up. He's changed."
George nodded slowly, "He's a tough teacher, and nobody really likes him but he's not only protected Harry he's done the same for all of us."
To George's surprise Sirius grabbed him by the collar of his robe, and yanked him out of the Great Hall and into the Entrance Hall. Remus picked Sirius' hands off the boy.
"Siri, he's not a ragdoll!" chided Remus. "Let go of him."
"Tell me," Sirius demanded, "tell me what the great git's done for you… or anyone."
George was straightening his clothing as Fred stepped up beside his brother, and replied, "He's taught us about Potions. Professor Snape knows we experiment so he supervises our experiments."
"Don't forget, Gred," reminded George, "Professor Snape's bought a lot of ingredients for us we couldn't afford."
"He braids hair," Fred offered cheekily and Sirius stared at the boy as if he was the one who had spent twelve years in Azkaban.
George snickered, "Yeah, well, he does a lot of things for the children in his House that not all the other Heads do."
"Slytherins are evil, scheming snakes…" began Sirius.
Fred's smile vanished as steel crept into his voice, "No. You're wrong."
George expounded, "Me and Gred, and Percy, Bill and Charlie knew…"
Fred shook his head at his twin, "Not so much, Percy, Gorge. He's a bit of a pants-twist like Ron is."
"Right, Gred," George agreed with his brother, then turned back to the two older wizards. "Our brothers, and our parents know that Professor Snape is a good man."
"He adopted Harry because he loves, and cares for him as any dad would a son," insisted Fred. "If you're just going to bring up some stupid feud you had as kids and try to get Harry to think the same way, you're only going to hurt him."
George moved close to the two men and his eyes were hard, "And since his dad's sick me and Fred will watch over Harry."
"If you mean to turn Harry away from his dad by hurting Professor Snape, George and I will be on you like Peeves slime," finished Fred.
With their piece said the twins turned for Gryffindor tower, and left the two behind them.
"That bastard's bewitched them all," muttered Sirius darkly.
"What?" gaped Remus. "Sirius, I don't trust Snape but he wouldn't use magic on those children."
Sirius turned on his old friend, and Remus pulled back as he saw madness glowing in his eyes, "Death Eater, Remus? I bet old Greyback is happy to have you around. Want to give Harry to him, eh? He likes boys… just like you."
Remus' eyes widened in shock as Sirius reminded him all too well of what the werewolf Greyback had done to him when he was only four years of age. It was something Remus had confessed to his friends with the hope they would never bring up that horrible secret again.
Sirius spun away, changed into his Animagus form, and loped like a greasy, black streak out of the castle.
"Siri… what did they do to you?" Remus whispered.
"Twelve years in Azkaban, my boy," said Albus coming up next to him. "He has recovered his health but will his mind ever be healed?"
"Albus," Remus turned and looked into the watery eyes that were so often clouded by his dementia. At the moment he could only see the clarity that had made the older wizard one of their best. "Am I wrong about Snape?"
"Severus, my boy, and yes, you are," Albus lightly patted his cheek. "So was I, and so many times I look back upon those decades with regret knowing how I only added to his pain. Remus, how many times have I told you that Harry is being raised by the most kind-hearted, and caring wizard that we know?"
"But, Albus, it's Snape," lamented Remus.
"'Snivellus', as Sirius insists upon calling him derisively, that unsure and angry little boy, is gone. Despite what you and your friends did to him, and that I unwisely condoned, he has grown into a man of strength and integrity that is unmatched by that of any other wizard I know. Did I not write of this in my letter to the Wizengamot in support of his adoption of Harry?"
Remus nodded miserably as the older man slipped his arm through the taller wizard's to lean against his support. "You should also be grateful to Severus for bringing Sirius back into the living."
Remus stopped, and his eyes widened in question. "What are you talking about, Albus?"
Albus chuckled, and nudged him back into moving, "I may have lost a few of my marbles, young man, but I am not as dim as one might think. Severus began seeking a cure for Sirius the moment the Healers at St. Mungos admitted defeat for his persistent pneumonia."
"Snape. It was Snape who found a cure?" asked Remus in disbelief. Albus nodded and patted his forearm. "Why? Why would Snape do that? He hates Sirius."
"Severus hates what Sirius was, child," sighed Albus sadly. "He is very aware that Sirius, no matter what he had been then, he did not deserve what he received at the hands of those at Azkaban. Severus also believes that Harry should have the right of knowing that two people who loved his parents still live."
Remus shook his head, "Sirius, maybe, but he still hasn't let Harry see me."
"Dear boy, have you even considered that it is not Severus preventing the two of you to meet, but Harry?" Remus was appalled, and was prepared to deny what the old man said, when his gaze darkened. "You stare at the child, Remus, and it is not a pleasant one. Harry is a perceptive child and if he sees you as a threat to him, to anyone he cares for, or his father, he will have nothing to do with you."
"But, he trusts you, Albus, and I am with you…"
Albus shook his head, and smoothed his fingers through his beard. "Harry does not trust me, Remus. I am the one that gave him to his Aunt Petunia, and I am the one who allowed him to stay in a disagreeable situation all for the 'greater good', he grimaced sourly.
For a long moment they both walked down corridors along the outside of the castle that allowed them to see the clarity of the dark skies, and the stars that twinkled above.
"James visits me," Albus said casually.
"James is dead, Albus," Remus reminded him thinking that Albus' dementia was returning.
"I am well aware of that fact, Remus," Albus replied stiffly. "It is his shade that I speak of. It is odd but it seems easier to see the ghosts of those that have passed beyond the Veil," mused Albus. "James does visit, and he is, at the moment, concerned for Severus. He and Lily, you see, approved of Severus, which is why he went ahead with the adoption. James now worries that Severus might not live for his son."
Remus stopped, conjured a bench, and then drew the old wizard to sit down beside him. "Wait, Albus, you're making me feel like I am the one with a scattered mind. How do you know that James and Lily would approve of Snape?"
Albus shrugged as he leaned against the stones of the castle. He smiled, "How else? Lily and James spoke to me."
Remus sighed, and leaned his back against the wall, "Sirius would never believe such of James. Nor of Lily."
"It is my supposition that Sirius is unable to consider anything since their deaths, my boy." Albus sat up, and again patted Remus' forearm. "It is our duty to make certain that Sirius does not hurt either Harry or Severus." He rose to his feet. "Where did Sirius go, Remus?"
Remus' heart sank. He recalled to mind the anger of the man that visited him hours ago. He remembered the joy Sirius had in thinking Snape might die, and that he and Sirius could break Harry away from someone he cared about. A hate that he allowed… just as he allowed so many things that James and Sirius had done as boys.
a/n: Dear readers - I had no idea so many have had an experience or lost a family member to cancer. I had reviews mentioning loved ones but then I also had private messages. I believe I answered them all, but if I have not, give me a holler. Tonight, everyone that has read this story or any of my other stories, will be in my prayers tonight. Blessings to each and every one of you.
~Jayne d'Arcy