Uhhh. So sorry for not updating! I had exams the entire week and I couldn't find ANY time to type! That's why this chapter is a little shorter...it would have been longer but I didn't want you all to wait any more.
word count:1,631
I lean forward and press my lips against hers. When she doesn't react I kiss her a little bit rougher.
The only thing I get in return is disappointment when her lips refuse to move against mine.
"Why won't you kiss me?" I say with a pout.
"Because I'm made at you!" She yells. All of her anger towards me comes rushing out, practically bursting at the seams.
"Why do you keep trying to kiss me?" She demands.
"Because I love you!" I snap.
Chapter 22
There. I said it.
Clove stares at me with a blank expression. She blinks several times, almost as if to confirm that I'm still standing in front of her.
"What?" She says in a high pitched voice. She clears her throat and looks around nervously. She obviously wasn't expecting that to come out of my mouth.
"I. Love. You." I say slowly.
I wait for her reaction, but what she says next catches me completely off guard.
"That's not very funny." She tells me seriously.
"Huh?" I say in confusion.
"It's a joke, right?" She asks me.
I shake my head back and forth slowly.
"Don't mess with me like that Cato." She murmurs while walking past me.
"I'm not messing with you." I mumble in annoyance.
"Yes you are." She says firmly as she shuffles over to the kitchen.
"What the hell..." I mutter to myself. I stare at her in disbelieve as she opens the refrigerator and begins to examine its contents.
I feel the anger slowly beginning to boil underneath my skin. If someone tells you that they love you don't just stand their take it as a joke. Like seriously, who does that?
"Get back here!" I yell as I begin to follow her.
She turns around and looks quizzically at me.
"What's wrong Cato?" She asks me innocently.
"I love you!" I yell at her.
She rolls her eyes. "That's nice." She tells me. "Now what do you want for lunch?" She asks.
I stare at her with a dumbfounded expression. She doesn't believe me. I watch as she turns around and begins to sort through the refrigerator once more.
"Umm...Hello?" I say in annoyance.
She turns to look at me. "What?" She says dryly.
"I was talking to you." I say with gritted teeth.
"Ok..." She trails off slowly. She stares at me, waiting for me to continue. So I do.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" I ask her, trying to keep the anger out of my voice, but failing miserably.
She sighs loudly. "A lot of things are wrong with me Cato." She says with another eye roll.
"Well, would like to tell me why you're not even acknowledging what I just said to you?" I say as I clench my jaw. My words come out as a low growl.
"No, now what do want for lunch." She repeats while turning once again to face the refrigerator.
"I'm not even hungry!" I yell at her.
"Are you sure, 'cause you're acting kinda cranky." She tells me.
"Uhhh, you know what? I'm going for a walk, I'll see you later." I say without meeting her eyes. And with that, I turn on my heels and walk away.
I don't look back as I head straight for the front door. If she's going to deny what I say maybe I don't need her after all.
Clove's POV
The front door slams shut loudly.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Ok Clove, no need to have a panic attack. It was just a joke, he's just kidding. There's no need to get worked up over it. I reassure myself.
He seemed pretty serious to me. I think nervously. Thanks to him, my thought process feels slow, and confused.
Maybe he wasn't kidding? I don't know anymore. I thought he was but he seemed genuinely angry, and seeing how he just walked out I defiantly have some things to go over. I want to think that it was just a joke, but that option is starting to become less and less likely.
My breathing becomes heavy and I feel an odd coolness spread across my skin. Not the kind you feel on a cold day, but rather the sickly feeling you get when you have a fever.
I grip the counter top for support as I focus on calming my breathing.
Ok, hypothetically speaking, let's say he does 'love' me, what am I supposed to do about it? I want to reciprocate those feelings, but I can't deal with that kind of emotion. It's better to just shrug it off, to pretend I never heard what he said. Though, part of me does find the whole thing hard to believe. Only because people in District Two aren't the lovey-dovey type, and because I'm the last person anyone would love.
I'm just Clove. Just me. I'm nothing special. I throw knives and have a particular fondness for a boy that I may or may not be in love with.
I cringe as the word 'in love' begins to root itself inside my brain.
Ok, don't have an anxiety attack Clove. I think. There's no way I love Cato. He's violently and angry and...and...likes to hurt...stuff. Not to mention he's crazy.
Well, he's not that crazy. My reasonable side argues.
My mind begins going back and forth as I debate the things I love- like- about Cato.
Eventually I give up. My head hurts from all my confused thoughts banging around inside my brain and I suddenly feel exhausted.
I make my way over to the sofa and plop down. I close my eyes and slowly rub my temple. This relationship stuff is draining, physically and emotionally. Intellectually, I'm stable, but I don't know how long that's going to last.
The Games are coming up in two months, and I make a mental note to bring it up when Cato gets back. He's going to volunteer and I need to know what his strategy is. He can't just say 'I'm gonna kill everyone' like he did the last time I asked him. Once I convince myself he's going to be fine I can cross it off the list of things I need to worry about.
The thought of someone driving a knife through his chest makes my skin crawl. Cato knows how to make it out of the arena, I have absolutely nothing to worry about. He'll win, come home, and end things with me before moving along to another girl that's older, taller, and prettier than I am.
My fist clench at the thought.
But he 'loves me'. I remind myself. He wouldn't do that to me...right?
I scoff. Part of me want to believe that he loves me, but it seems too unrealistic. Things like that don't happen to me.
But for a moment, just a moment, I let myself believed it. The thought makes me feel nervous and...blissful.
I allow the possibility of me actually loving him to enter my mind. It doesn't bother me, and I feel ok with it. I don't really know what love feels like, seeing how no one's loved me in years. I don't remember the feeling. But is this it? My relationship with Cato feels right, it always has, and I can't help but smile when I think about him saying those three words.
Cato's POV
I can't take it. I've been sitting on this stupid porch for fifteen minutes debating on weather or not I should go inside. It's pathetic.
"I'll look completely stupid." I mutter to myself. What am I supposed to say to her anyway? 'Hey Clove, you know how I just told you that I loved you?Well you can forget about it because you obviously don't feel the same way.'
I groan as I stand up. This is just perfect. Now I'm going to have to go in there and face her. You know what? If I open the door really slowly she won't hear me, then I can just tip toe up the staircase completely undetected.
I wrap my hand around the door knob and turn it slowly. It squeaks slightly but not enough for her to notice. Thinking the hardest part is behind me, I swing the door open only to meet her doe-like eyes staring right through me.
I'm getting several questions about lemons. The answer is no, I do not write lemons. And I never will. That would be so weird for me to write... Plus it's against the rules of fanfiction , and seeing how I'm a rule following nerd it would go against my nerdy ways to write a lemon :P
BUT! I can imply that something 'happened' if you want. *very very very very awkward silence*
If you got to chapter 22 of this story you should totally review, because I get discouraged very easily :/ and I need feedback if you all honestly want me to update weekly.
Have a great week and and I love you. *Kisses*