Wow! I can't believe how many views this story has gotten! Y'all are amazing! To our dear "Anonymous", I'd love to hear your ideas and I tend to update every one or two days. I've got three projects due next week so bear with me if I update later than usual.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord Of The Rings. I also do not own Harry Potter, Big Bang Theory (show), Charlie The Unicorn... Heck I don't own anything you recognize.

Of Diet Coke And Riddles

The trek back down the mountain was quick, because they were now walk with the wind instead of against it and because everyone practically rolled down.

" Weee!" shrieked Pippin as he rolled over a snowbank and crashed into Merry.

" Yippeekiyay!" hollered Aragorn.

" Aragorn!" yelled Frodo. "Being a ranger in Middle Earth does NOT mean that you live on the range!"

" It does in Texas!" argued Aragorn.

" Have you ever BEEN to Texas?!" asked Frodo.

" No but I've eaten at the Lone Star!"

Now it was Frodo's turn to face-palm.

"Oof!" exclaimed Sam.

Frodo turned around just in time to see that Sam, while rolling down the mountain, had accidentally rammed straight into Gandalf, sending them both tumbling into a particularly large rock.

" Are you okay!" asked Frodo in a panicked tone.

" Yeah, I'm fine." answered Sam, "The world is spinning too fast, tell it to stop."

Frodo rolled his eyes.

" How about you Gandalf?"

Gandalf sat up, a dreamy expression on his face.

" Dumbledore dies." stated Gandalf.

Boromir looked up from reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

" Thanks a lot Gandalf!" he said in a pissed off tone.

Frodo stared at Gandalf, a horrified expression on his face.

" Oh no! Gandalf has gone insane!" screamed Frodo.

Pippin ran over excitedly. "Really?"

" Yep." said Frodo sadly, "Now I'm the only sane one left."

" Cool." said Pippin. "Hey! Gandalf! What's your favourite colour?"

" Banana." said Gandalf.

Pippin did a fist-pump in the air. "Yes! Come on Gandalf, you and I are going to be the bestest of friends."

Frodo groaned. "Crap."

Legolas stared at his cellphone and shreiked.

"I'm the new cover-girl!" he announced to the rest of the Fellowship.

Everyone stared at him before erupting into a fit of giggles.

" Oh my Valar! Can't breath!" laughed Aragorn.

" Don't you have to be a girl to be a cover-girl?" asked Frodo in confusion.

" Apparently Legolas was close enough." said Gimli.

" Hey!" argued Legolas, "I am NOT a girl, nor do I look like one."

" Denial!" whispered Aragorn loud enough for everyone to hear.

Legolas huffed and stormed off.

The Fellowship laughed and talked for a while before they arrived at the entrance to Moria. Gimli started knocking on the walls to try to find the entrance, while everyone else just stood there, staring at the lake in front of them.

" Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Merry.

" Beach Party!" the Fellowship yelled in unison.

Everyone ran and grabbed beach balls and lawn chairs out of Bill the pony's saddle bags and began to set up.

Gimli looked at them in annoyance. "Guys!"

Everyone turned to Gimli.

" No beach party." he said.

" Awwww."

" Good, now come help me find the entrance."

The rest of the Fellowship ran over and started knocking on the walls.

Knock, knock, "Penny." Knock, knock, "Penny." Knock, knock...

"Pippin!" screamed Gimli, "Stop that!"

" I was dropped on my head when I was a baby." said Pippin.

" We kind-of figured that." said Gimli.

" Hey guys! I think I found it!" said Frodo while pointing to a spot on the wall.

" Good job Frodo!" praised Gimli, "Now all we need is night to fall and..."

Suddenly, the bright sun disappeared and the full moon and stars appeared in the sky. When the light hit the spot on the wall, a door appeared lined in silver.

" Well, that was convenient." said Frodo.

" Who ever said 'Every cloud has a silver lining' was probably talking about doors." said Merry.

" There appears to be a riddle sketched into the door." said Boromir, leaning foreward to get a better look. "Oh wait, it just says "Bob the orc was here", nothing important."

"So, how do we get in?" asked Sam.

" I say we use that tree over there as a battering ram!" said Aragorn.

Legolas looked at him in horror. "You should be kicked out of the eco-club for suggesting something like that!"

" You idiots! There IS a riddle sketched into the door!" yelled Frodo, pointing to some words carved into the top of the door. "It says, 'Speak friend and enter."

" Okay. Frodo, since you're the one who found the riddle, we'll leave you to figure it out while we go do...something else." said Merry.

" Hey!" said Frodo.

" Good try Frodo, but I don't think that 'Hey!' is the answer to the riddle." said Pippin as he patted Frodo on the back.

Frodo let out a sigh of frustration and got to work figuring out the riddle.

" Don't worry Frodo, I'll help you." said Aragorn.

Frodo smiled and turned back to the door. Aragorn took one look at the riddle, then gave up and decided to check his Face-book.

Meanwhile, Boromir noticed Merry sneak over and grab something out of Bill's saddle bags. Merry then handed one to Pippin and one to Gandalf.

Boromir strolled over, "Whatcha got there?".

Merry looked at Boromir. "Can you keep a secret?"

Boromir narrowed his eyes, "Sure."

Merry leaned over to him, "That there is Diet Coke."

Boromir looked at him in confusion. "Why is that a secret."

" Have you ever seen Pippin after Diet Coke?"

" I can't say I have."

" Well," said Merry, "He gets, well, more hyper than usual."

" How? It's Diet Coke, it's practically fake sugar!" said a confused Boromir.

" You'll see."

Pippin popped open his Diet Coke with a fizz, then opened another one and gave it to Gandalf.

" Here you go buddy." said Pippin.

" Cheese." mumbled Gandalf.

Pippin took one sip of his Diet Coke, and then his eyes turned as big as Gollum's.

" Sugar!" screamed Pippin.

He got up and started doing the Irish Jig along the shoreline before going up to Legolas and screaming in his ear, "THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!".

" No fair!" whined Legolas, "That's my line! I want another law suit!"

Gandalf took a sip of his Coke, then immediately stood up.

" Ooh! Ooh! I want to be your lawyer!" cried Gandalf.

" Santy Claus!" screamed Pippin before running full force at Gandalf.

He began tugging on Gandalf's beard. "Santy Claus, is your beard real?" Pippin asked.

Gandalf picked him up and chucked him far out into the lake.

" Weeeee!" cried Pippin before hitting the surface with a splash.

" No spaghetti for you until you mow my lawn!" screamed Gandalf.

Pippin broke to the surface, gasping with laughter. He swam back to shore and crept up behind Frodo. He then gave a sharp screech, causing Frodo to fall off the rock he was sitting on.

" What?! What is it Pippin?!" he asked, staring around wildly.

" The door!" Pippin cried.

" The door?" Frodo asked in confusion.

" The door is everything! All that once was and all that will be. The door controls time and space. Love and death. The door can see into your mind! The door can see into your SOUL."

" The- The door can do all that?" asked Frodo.

" Pfff, no."

Frodo sighed, "Pippin, I don't have time for your stupidity, I have to figure out the answer to this riddle."

" I got it!" cried Aragorn.

Everyone ran over excitedly.

" See." Aragorn said proudly, pointing to his cell phone, "Connection's better over here."

" Do you have Wi-fi?" asked Merry.

" Yep." said Aragorn.

" Cool! Let's just look up the answer!" said Sam.

" No, that would be cheating!" exclaimed Frodo.

Sam shrugged, "Fine, let's go ask Gandalf then."

Everyone walked over to Gandalf.

" Errr, Gandalf? Do you know the answer to this riddle?" asked Frodo.

Gandalf looked at him with a stupid grin on his face, "Watermelon."

Suddenly, the door swung open and the Fellowship gave a big cheer. They all rushed in and Pippin, being stupid as hell, slammed the door closed behind them, causing a mini avalanche of stone and trapping them inside.

" PIPPIN!"