Ok so new update sorry for the long wait I've been tossing around ideas on what way I what this to go :-) hope you enjoy

Charley stood mouth open with tears streaking down her face, she felt numb, could register nothing but the empty space where Jess and Lucifer had stood. Dean's shell shocked form standing next to her was no better, his face contorted with confusion and pain while Sam stumbled over to the scorch marks. He studied the marks on the ground seeing designs similar to Jessie's tattoo branded there all confined in a ring. Dean had snapped out of the daze he was in and pried the last of the metal out of his way as he scrambled over to where Sam was standing, Charley following behind still in a daze.

"I don't get it...What the hell happened?" Dean's breath was comin in harsh pants as he saw the marks on the ground

Sam's head throbbed from the hit Jessie gave him and then something clicked

"She knew..." he breathed, Dean's head snapped around to stare at Sam, Charley caught up as soon as Sam had said that.

"Oh God.." she sobbed "that's why she was so off...all this time she knew..."

Dean stared horrified at Charley "No. No she would have told us...she would have said something..."

"She did" Sam said rubbing his hands over his face as, his own eyes welling up

"What?..." Dean breathed

"I was going to say yes..." Sam's voice hitched "...I was going to say yes to him and Jess...she said something about knowing what to do and that she was sorry. I didn't know what she meant...she hit me on the back of the head...I couldn't grab her I didn't even know she was gone till after she...after..." Sam couldn't get the words out his throat closing up at the heart breaking expressions on Dean and Charley's faces making it so hard to say it out load.

Charley's legs gave out, her knees hitting the pavement painfully but she couldn't feel it, Sam went to her as she fell knelling down next to her and pulling her into his embrace. Charley didn't cry hysterically but wept silently, her eyes welling up again and again as she shook in Sam's arms. Dean didn't know what he felt more, the betrayal that she hadn't confided in him, in any of them that this was what the end game would result in. And the last time she had woke up so terrified from a dream she had said in was from the kidnapping, he could see now was obviously a lie. But more than anything Dean felt the crushing heartache that Jess was gone, there was no way she would survive an injury like that. What was he supposed to do now with her gone?

Charley shot up out of bed her breath coming in harsh pants as a cold sweat broke out over her trembling form. She struggled to control her breathing, tears now rolling down her cheeks as images flashed through her mind all of Jess, all of that day. She pushed herself back in the bed until her back hit the head board as her body started to force out silent sobs. It had been two weeks since their show down with Lucifer, two weeks since Jess had sacrificed herself in front of them to end the apocalypse something they had only found out for sure when they had rolled up to Bobby's a few days after. Bobby's phone had apparently been calling off the hook, hunters searching for answers as to why demons were fleeing and others spouting off about rising to power now that Lucifer had fallen, Bobby only put two and two together when he had heard the whole story from Sam and Dean once they had got to his place.

Memories of those first few days had blurred together for Charley, she remembered Sam picking her up from the ground and placing her in the back of the Impala and nothing else until they reached Bobby's two days later. Dean had hardly said two words to anyone since it happened, spending most of his time in the garage, no one knew what he was doing but then again no one asked. Sam had been amazing in Charley's eyes, he was heartbroken just as much as the rest of them but he had done anything he could to take care of her, it was only the last few days where Charley could see how much he had run himself ragged looking after her and Dean, not that Dean was letting anyone look after him but it was exhausting Sam all the same, fighting with Dean to take care of himself.

"Charley?..." Her head whipped around, Sam stood at the open bedroom door, once he saw the fresh tear streaks on her face he all but launched himself across the room, pulling Charley into his arms. "Talk to me Charley?" he breathed, gently rocking her in his arms trying to sooth her as best he could.

"Same dream" she hiccupped out between gasps, a fresh round of sobs racking her body

"Oh Charley...it's alright, I got you..." he knew nothing else to say, because it wasn't going to be alright, Jess was gone and they had been able to do nothing to stop it. Sam had thrown himself into research once they had reached Bobby's, hell bent on finding answers now that he knew what Jess had to do to lock Lucifer away again. No matter how much he look or how deep he delved he had found nothing on it, no lore around the goddess themselves had even hinted at a sacrifice as Jess had done. So he just held her, comforting Charley in the only way he knew how.

After a few minutes Charley's trembling eased and her tears dried, she pulled her face from the nook of Sam's neck and brushed the wetness from her face taking a few calming breaths before she looked up to Sam's face. He gave her a hesitant smile, trying again to reassure Charley but she could see the dark circles under his eyes, they were slightly blood shot as well either from all the reading or the fact that her nightmare had been keeping him awake, not that he would admit it. Sam's hand on her face snapped her focus back to him

"Are you..." he sighed knowing not to ask if she was ok "What can I do Charley?" she leaned into the hand still on her face taking a deep shuddering breath.

"Nothing you're not already doing for me Sam, I'm sorry...it's just when I see it all again...I can't..." Charley struggled for words but Sam didn't need to hear anymore, he nodded and pulled her back into his arms.

"Where's Dean?" Charley asked quietly, Sam sighed

"Still in the garage, he didn't come in again last night but Bobby said he ate this morning after he hit him upside the head but at least he ate" Sam was worried about Dean, he knew that he would close up because that's what Dean did but he would usually blow up and then try focus on something, repairing car's or new jobs but it was as if he had no fight left in him.

Anytime he would go into the garage to see him Dean was idly cleaning some engine part, staring off into nothing, his eyes were red a swollen a lot of the time his face had sunk in and his general appearance looked haggard and beaten down. He would barely talk to anyone, the only person that got any sort of reaction from him was Charley, Sam figured that Dean's bigger brother instincts still won out when he would see how hurt Charley was. But even at that he would only talk about very little, he held her a lot and tried his best to pretend he was ok when she was around but everyone knew different.

"I'll go down to him now" Charley whispered she had made sure to go into him every day, Sam sighed and nodded letting Charlie pull away to get dressed

"I'll stick some coffee on he might take some off of you" with that he pecked Charley on the forehead and went down stairs.

Bobby was standing over the sink, washing up the few dishes Dean had actually used this morning for breakfast when Sam ambled into the room and turned on the coffee maker.

"Hay Bobby"

"How is she?" Bobby asked, watching Sam from the corner of his eye

"The same Bobby, still the same and there's not a damn thing I can do to make it better" Sam sounded tired, exhausted even, he missed Jess as well but with Charley and Dean he felt like his feeling's should take a back seat right now, they were more important.

"She's got you son she'll be ok" Bobby tried to reassure

"What's Dean like today?" Sam asked

Bobby sighed "The same Sam but he ate so it's something"

Charley was in the bathroom trying to wash the fresh tears tracks from her face when she felt a rush of sickness and ran to the toilet, throwing up the sparse contents of her stomach into the bowl. She groaned while knelling on the floor, waiting for her pulse to stop thumping in her head and expecting to feel nausea but she didn't, after a few minutes and another round with her toothbrush she felt fine. Charley thought about mentioning it to Sam but decided against it, he was worried enough and she felt fine now. Once dressed Charley went down stairs and gave Bobby a small smile when she noticed his concerned gaze follow her into the kitchen.

"Hay Bobby"

"Sleep alright?" he asked, Charley knew that Sam had probably already told Bobby about her nightmare and the dark circles under her eyes showed Bobby she was lying when she answered 'yes'

Bobby didn't push he knew Charley had Sam there for her so if she didn't want to talk to him he could understand that and despite his worry for her he was more concerned about Dean.

"You gonna head out to Dean?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna see if he wants some coffee or something and maybe see if he'll come in a lie down for an hour" Charley stood leaning against the kitchen counter waiting for the coffee maker to beep. "Sam said he ate this morning, did he have much?"

"Yeah he had a decent breakfast after I got a little tough with him but that boys wasting away, see if you can get him to have something else" Charley nodded she knew Dean was neglecting himself it had got a little better but unless someone had an all out argument with him he didn't listen, Charley had been able to get through but only sometimes and usually only after her frustration turned to tears. The last thing Charley wanted was for Dean to get ill...she would look after him...Jess would want them all to be ok. Even with that thought Charley could feel the tightening in her throat as she forced herself not to be reduced to tears again instead she focused on fixing two cups of coffee and a sandwich for Dean.

Dean twitched as his form lay slumped over the high table in the garage his exhausted body had finally decided to give up and practically collapsed after Bobby had forced some food into him. He did not sleep peacefully, his mind spinning over the events of that day again and again, the anguished expression on Jess's face as she shot him one last look before plunging that knife into her chest. The disbelief he had felt still lingered days afterward not believing that what he saw had been real, but the scorched marks on that lot had proven different the pain and heartache were all real.

And he had cried, when he knew that no one would come to check on him he had wept, broken sobs breaking out of him as he tried to control the pain rolling through him. Regrets had started blooming in his mind, things he should have done differently, he should have known there was more to it, his instincts had been screaming at him for days before hand and he had pushed them away telling himself that Jess would come to him when she was ready. If he had just pushed her a little more he knew she would have told him something anything that would have shown him more but he hadn't. And his biggest regret...he had never told her he love her, he had thought it alright, showed her in small touches and when they made love but he never actually said it to her, now he would never be able to.

The sound of the garage door grinding open made Dean jump from his seat, the expressionless mask he now knew so well fell back into place when he recognised Charley's small silhouette in the open door.

"Dean?" her voiced hesitantly whispered for him

"Hay Charley" Dean moved out of the shadows, flicking on the lights as he went over to her, seeing the tray balanced in her hand he took it from her and placed it on a nearby table top, not particularly interested in the food on it.

"Hay" Charley smiled and though the smile was genuine Dean could still see how hurt she was. He did the only thing he had been doing since Charley made it her daily routine to come into him, pulled her into a hug. They stood like that for a long time, Charley's arms circling his waist squeezing him tightly, Dean tucking her head under his chin arms wrapped around her back and shoulders.

"You need to eat more?" Charley whispered into his shirt, she knew he heard her because his body tensed for a split second before he signed and gave her another squeeze.

"I know Charley...I just...I don't feel hungry" he sighed, Charley lifted her head and pulled back slightly catching Dean's gaze

"I know Dean but you're not looking after yourself...you need to ok? We all need you to"

"Charley I just can't think straight, I swear I'm not doing it to make you worry more I just forget...I..." Dean struggled, he couldn't find the word to explain what way he was feeling and dumping them on Charley was the last thing he wanted to do. "I'll do better Charley I promise" She nodded and pulled out of the hug

"Ok, so you can start with this" Charley gestured to the sandwich and now tepid coffee, Dean huffed out a laugh and smiled warmly at Charley

"Ye ok"

They sat at the high work table Dean working his way through the sandwich and the two of them sipping on coffee.

"So what have you been up to out here?" Charley asked, she had asked more than once but Dean never really gave a straight answer.

"Nothing much Charley just trying to keep occupied" what he wasn't telling anyone was that he had been trying to finish off Jessie's bike, every time he would try to start he would be hit with a memory. One of Jess humming absentmindedly while they stripped and clean parts of the bike or when he would steal a kiss off of her...he was really trying to finish it but it was so hard.

"Alright" Charley sighed sending him a small smile

"You're not sleeping" Dean stated after he took the last bit off his sandwich

"No I'm not but neither are you"

"I sleep enough Charley"

"No you don't Dean you need to come into the house tonight, sleep in there ok no more passing out in the garage if you do it again tonight I'll pull you back in by your ear" she smiled Dean couldn't help but smile back, there were so many little things about Charley that reminded him of Jess, also one of the reasons he had spent a lot of time out of the house despite how much he loved Charley.

"You got it Charley, I'll be in later on tonight alright"

They spent the next hour talking about nothing in particular, Charley was sent back inside when Dean noticed her shuddering from the cold telling her he wouldn't be much longer. Once she left Dean sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face and flicked his eyes over in the direction of the still dismantled bike.

Charlie's skin broke out in goose bumps when the heat inside the house washed over her skin, she absently rubbed her bare arms. Sam heard the door slamming closed and left the study to go to the front, seeing Charley he pulled her to his side placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head as he lead her further into the house where Bobby had already got the fire going.

"How's he doing?" Sam asked

"He's pretty much the same ate a little more and said he would come in here tonight but we'll see if he does later, he's still bad Sam. I'm worried about him"

"We all are but I'm worried about you Charley..." a warm hand gently cupped the side of her face bring it up to Sam's concerned gaze "...you're hardly getting any sleep" leaning into his hand Charley sighed

"I'm not ok Sam...I can still see it and the longer it goes the more vivid I see everything. I'm angry, I can't understand how everything we did, all of it, me and Jess being sent here, us trekking all over the place to find those stupid relics for Jess to be in pain and then..." Charley was starting to struggle, her breath coming in short sharp pants as she saw again the way Jess killed herself "...I don't get it Sam...I really don't"

"Shhh hay...come here Charley I know god I know I'm trying I really am but I can't find anything..." Sam pulled Charley onto his lap, trying his best to comfort her but he was at a loss.

Bobby sighed from the door way having walked in on Charley when she was with Sam, he missed the hell out of Jess too but the three he had here were more important right now. With a grim face he went out to drag that boy in from the garage because the last thing Charley needed was worrying about Dean when he needed to start looking after himself again.

Dean tidied away the last of the tools he had been using wiping the oil off of his hands with an old cloth when the door screeched open. He turned around to see Bobby striding into the garage and marching up to him with what looked like a pissed expression on his face until his eyes flicked behind Dean and he paused. Dean knew what he was looking at, feeling a flush rising to his face he cleared his throat.

"What's up Bobby?"

Bobby didn't answer straight away, he slowly moved closer to the bike in the back of the garage able to see it was in better shape than what it had been this morning and his expression softened

"So this is what you've been up to?" he asked softly

"Yeah..." Dean trailed off

"Why didn't you just say?"

Sighing Dean dropped the cloth on a table and scrubbed his hands over his face "I don't know Bobby, half the time I went to work on it I couldn't so..."

Bobby nodded feeling a little more relief now that he knew why Dean had been spending all his time out here it hadn't just been to keep himself away from everyone else, he had been trying to stay close to Jess.

"Charley said you were gonna come in tonight?"

Dean huffed out a laugh "Yeah, I will. Listen Bobby...I'm sorry alright. I know I haven't made it easy on any of you guys...I've been a bit of a dick actually but I'll...I'll do better"

"You know, no one expects you to be ok Dean we just want to be there for you?" Bobby's voice gruff and timber from holding back his own emotions, seeing Dean vulnerable was not something that happened often, in fact he could count on one hand how many times he had, he hated that his boy was hurting and that he couldn't do anything about it.

"I know Bobby" Dean rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and Bobby got the hint, Dean had his fill off the touchy feely stuff for now.

"Alright son, I'll see ye inside" With one last look at the work Dean had done and a comforting clap on the shoulder as he walked by Bobby left Dean to finish up for the evening.

Dean's shoulders sagged as if a physical weight was moved off his shoulder once Bobby left, he realised that despite his aversion to chick-flick moments he actually felt a little better not anywhere near being back to himself but if he focused on those three he had in the house, his family, he would manage.

Sam had sat on the couch with Charley until her body had finally decided to give her some peace and let her mind rest. So he pulled her sleeping form closer into his body, burying his nose into her hair and trying to collect his own thoughts. Charley mumbled something into his shirt and her face started to twist in a painful expression, she was obviously having another nightmare.

"Shhh Charley I'm here, we'll be ok"

"What wrong with Charley?" Dean whispered his voice made Sam tense slightly having not heard him come in the back door, he glanced around half surprised to find an oil covered and pale Dean in the door way worry etched on his face

"She's been having nightmares, pretty bad ones too can never get more than a few hours sleep until she wakes up crying" Sam whispered and shifted Charley slightly getting ready to stand with her in his arms.

"Oh..." Dean felt slightly put out, he knew that Charley hadn't been sleeping just by looking at her but she had never said anything about the nightmares.

"It's good to see you in doors Dean" Sam said carefully afraid he might piss Dean off with the comment but wanting him to know all the same. Dean smiled painfully at Sam fighting down the little wave of guilt that hit him when he realised that he had barely seen or spoke to Sam in days

"I promised Charley I'd come inside tonight"

Sam smiled down at Charley absently pulling her closer with the love he felt for the girl, still trying to look out for others when she was in so much pain.

Dean's face dropped then, a fresh wave of pain following the thought that he would not have the girl he loved in his arm like his brother did. Sam caught that look and had on a few other occasions, trying to lighten the mood Sam shot Dean a tried smirk "Good thing you did, you better hit the shower before the paint starts peeling" Dean chuckled, dragging his tired body towards the stairs

"Shut up, bitch"
"Jerk" Sam shouted after him.

Sighing again Sam went with Charley cradled in his arms and brought her upstairs to lay her down in bed, keeping his fingers crossed that she would get a few more hours rest. Placing her in the middle of the big bed he pulled the blanket up over her small form and leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. He paused and pulled back a small frown on his face, she felt a little warmer than usually, he ran his fingers across her forehead trying to see if it was something to worry about but it didn't feel like a temperature. Sam left the door to the room open a bit so he would be able to hear if Charley needed him and steeled himself to go back down stairs and start researching again.

Charley tossed and turned in her sleep, a pain in her head starting to thrum steadily, she groaned in her sleep, curling her body up as the pain erupted behind her eyes. Even in sleep Charley's vision went white until all of a sudden the pain faded and when she opened her eyes she gasped. Expecting to see herself somewhere in Bobby's house, instead she was in a lush green field, clear blue skies above her with the only thing standing out in the vast space being a circle of three stone benches.

Ok so review ? Please ? :-)