Hello again! I would like to bring to your attention a particularly mean guest review I received for this story. I deleted it, so it won't appear on the review page. Apparently, they thought my story to be stupid and said that I didn't try with this story. It deeply injured my feelings and I would like it if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. I will only accept kind reviews, with mild criticism.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord Of The Rings

The Various Effects Of Pizza

37 boxes of lembas bread pizza later, the Fellowship was full to exploding point, not to mention how hyper they were.

" Happy Easter!" screamed Legolas, while hopping around like a rabbit.

" Come back Mr. Rabbit!" cried Sam. He chased after Legolas and fell into a hole in the ground.

" I'm stuck!" he said after failing to wiggle himself out.

" Candy bar?" offered Legolas, handing Sam a leaf. Sam swallowed it whole.

Boromir was gazing at all of the lights hanging in the trees.

" Shiny." he said, his eyes as wide as baseballs. He wandered over to a low-hanging branch and promptly licked one of the lights.

" Ow! Ow! It burns!" yelled Boromir, tears streaming from his eyes.

" Do you want a Band-Aid?" asked Gimli.

Boromir nodded, and stuck the Band-Aid on his tongue.

Suddenly, Pippin's voice rang out through the air.

" It's Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!" he sang, possibly worse than the original singer.

Aragorn winced and turned to Gimli.

" Could I have one of those Band-Aids for my ears?"

Meanwhile, Merry had collected all of the tiny tables from the pizza boxes and was busy stacking them to make a tower.

" Hey Merry!" said Pippin, bounding over to him. "Wanna go bungy-jumping?"

" No thanks." said Merry.

" But Merry!" whined Pippin, stomping his foot and causing Merry's tower to collapse.

Merry turned to Pippin with murder in his eyes.

" Oops." said Pippin quietly.

" Arggghhhh!" bellowed Merry and he charged at Pippin.

" Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Pippin. He ran up a staircase and bolted across a bridge. When he reached the end he stopped, staring in excitement into a room.

" Penguins!" Pippin squealed with glee. He bolted into the room and started cuddling one of the penguins.

Back on the ground, Aragorn and Gimli were having a debate on whether Legolas reminded them more of Peter Pan or Link.

" I think it's the outfit." whispered Aragorn. "It reminds me of both."

" The pointed ears and blond hair reminds me of Link." said Gimli.

" Yeah, well, the fact that he can frickin' fly reminds me of Peter Pan." said Aragorn.

" I think he looks like Barbie." said Frodo.

Aragorn and Gimli snickered.

Suddenly, a bowling ball fell and hit Aragorn in the head, knocking him out cold. Legolas and Gimli looked at each other and bolted up the stairs toward the room the bowling ball fell from. When they threw open the door, their jaws dropped.

There was Pippin and Merry, teaching a bunch of penguins how to bowl.

" Hi there!" said Pippin cheerfully, as another penguin attempted to hit the pins, but instead managed to knock another person unconscious down below.

Merry popped open another can of root-beer.

" We're teaching penguins how to bowl." said Merry simply. He sniffed his root-beer and wrinkled his nose.

" Hey Pippin! Smell this." he said, holding the can to Pippin's nose.

Pippin sniffed it. His eyes crossed.

" T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t..."

" Spit it out already!" yelled Merry.

" Too... Sweet!" said Pippin before passing out.

Merry rolled his eyes. "Weirdo."

" Okay then." said Legolas as he and Gimli began to slowly back out of the room. "We're gonna go get some more food."

" Yay! Food!" screamed Merry and Pippin, who had apparently woken up, following Legolas and Gimli to the dining hall.

The Lothlorien dining hall was more beautiful than anything Merry and Pippin had ever seen, with platers of different foods wonderfully organized on hundreds of silver tables.

" Tacos!" screamed Pippin, running over to the Mexican food area.

Merry ran over to the Chinese food area, picking up tons of fortune cookies from a big silver bowl and cracking them open. He had a habit of collecting things which, in this case, were the tiny fortunes inside the cookies.

Legolas grabbed a salad and Gimli grabbed a steak, before sitting down at a long table with the two hobbits.

" So, how are you liking Lothlorien?" asked Legolas, but the hobbits were too busy shaping their Jell-O into cats.

Pippin looked at Merry's Jell-O cat. "Not bad, buddy." he said.

Merry looked at Pippin's. "Is that supposed to be a cat or a deformed dog?" asked Merry.

" It's a turtle." answered Pippin, even though it looked nothing like one.

Legolas cleared his throat. "I said 'How are you liking Lothlorien?'" he asked again.

" Needs more Nacho Cheese." said Pippin through a mouthful of food.

Legolas face-palmed himself, then shrieked.

Gimli fell of his chair, startled at Legolas' shriek. "What, Legolas?" he asked.

Tears welled up in Legolas' eyes. "There's a speck of dust on my shirt!" he wailed.

Gimli rolled his eyes while the two hobbits laughed.

After they had their snack, the four went back downstairs and set up their sleeping bags.

" Sleep Country Canada, why buy a mattress anywhere else!" sang Pippin.

" We should build a campfire!" suggested Merry excitedly.

" Yeah!" agreed Gimli, "Then we can roast Pippin so that he will finally shut up!"

" Hey!" said Pippin.

" Good idea." agreed Merry, "But I was thinking more along the lines of marshmallows and campfire songs!"

Sam groaned. "No more songs!"

"Why don't we just tell bedtime stories?" suggested Aragorn, who had a partcularly large bump on his head from where the bowling ball hit him.

" Yeah!" agreed the Fellowship.

" I'll start." volunteered Pippin. He cleared his throat.

" Once upon a time there was a little hobbit. Just like you." he said, pointing in Merry's general direction.

" Like me?" asked Merry.

" No, I was actually pointing at Sam."

Merry pouted and crossed his arms.

Pippin continued, "So, this chubby little hobbit was wandering around in the woods until..."

" He tripped and fell off a cliff. The End." finished Boromir.

Everyone stared at him.

" Sorry." he said sheepishly.

" Well...what happened Pippin?" asked Sam, but Pippin had crashed during Boromir's interruption and was now snoring loudly.

" Fine then, I'll tell a story." said Sam angrily.

" Once upon a time there was an ugly little barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End."

A tear fell from Boromir's eye.

" That was so beautiful." he sniffled.

Sam face-palmed himself.

" Cheese." mumbled Pippin in his sleep.

Legolas stretched. "Well, goodnight everyone." he said before climbing up into a tree.

" Should we tell him there's a tracker-jacker nest up there?" asked Merry.

" Na." said Aragorn.

" Help! I'm being attacked by gummy bears!" screamed Pippin, waking up with a start.

Aragorn shook his head, " I guess that teaches you never to eat that much pizza before going to bed."

" My tummy hurts." moaned Legolas.

" Don't barf up there." warned Gimli, "Because you know who it's gonna fall on if you do, right?"

" Santa's coming! Go to sleep!" yelled Pippin.

Everyone but Frodo crashed instantly.

" Insomnia, I hate you." sighed Frodo, before getting up and wandering off into the forest.