Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
A/N: I do not have a Beta and I'm too lazy to read over my work. So, sorry in advance for what I'm sure will be numerous grammar mistakes and probably some missing/wrong words in certain places.
I ended up not getting that much sleep last night. I tried my best to sleep as much as possible, and even ended up staying in bed for much longer than I had ever had in the past in effort to get some sleep. It just didn't pan out. By the time I finally dragged myself out of bed, had some food for what ended up being brunch, showered and just overall got ready for the day, it was already just a little after noon and I was still fighting off yawns. No matter how much coffee I had; it just wasn't working. I was already planning on an early evening if I could tonight to catch up the missing sleep.
I had already decided last night that I was going to talk with the Denali's in my room again. I wasn't sure how much longer our conversation would be, I wouldn't imagine much longer, but I still wanted to do it someplace comfortable. I had also decided that after I talked with them, I wanted to talk with Edward and Alice, with the Denali's present and not at the same time. I wanted to talk with Alice first and then Edward. After I talked with both of them, I would see where I stood with everyone and then I would go from there. I didn't hold much of hope with the conversations I would be having with Alice and Edward, but I wanted them to at least give them each a chance to explain their side of everything; even if it probably wouldn't change anything.
Once I was back in my room, lying on my bed with my book in hand, I sent off a quick text to the three Denali sisters, asking if they were available to come over so we could finish our talk. Their response, sent from Kate, was immediate and simple. All it said was that they were on their way. So, I sat on my bed and waited for them to come over while I read a little of my book. I had only managed to read a page or two before I heard tapping on my window, jarring me from my reading.
"It's unlocked." I said in invitation for them to come in themselves as I placed my bookmark in my book and placed it on the nightstand.
Irina opened the window and the three vampires crawled into my room and moved to stand where they have eventually ended up last night: Kate on my desk chair, Irina leaning against the desk and Tanya leaning against the wall opposite my bed.
"So, first things first." Tanya said with a smile that quickly morphed into a worried look the longer she looked at me. "How did you sleep?" Even though she was asking, I was sure that she already knew the answer. I knew I looked really tired. I didn't bother hiding the dark circles under my eyes and I didn't bother putting much effort into my hair; so, easy to say, I looked a mess.
"Not that well." I said with a small frown.
"Too much on your mind?" Irina asked with a small tilt of her head.
"Yeah; I couldn't stop thinking about everything." I said as I moved positions on my bed so that I was in the corner, leaning against the wall, somewhat, facing all three of them because of the corner.
"I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of this." Tanya said. "Hopefully it will all be over soon."
"Which, brings us to why we're here." Kate said. "We wanted to talk about a few more things so that we can get everything in motion for your change. We want to make sure this whole mess gets cleaned up as soon as possible to avoid anything having to do with the Volturi and possible incurring their wrath."
"What did you want to talk about first?" I had already known they would want to talk about a few more things and I was sure I could probably name what it was they wanted to talk about. I was more than willing to let them lead this conversation though, I just wanted this all to end as quickly as possible and they seemed to have a plan to do just that.
"First, the concern we have with Aro reading both Edwards and Alice's thoughts about you and us." Tanya answered. "From what it seems like, Aro may just want to see how this all plays out. We think that when he, or his guard since he rarely leaves his castle anymore, checks to make sure you have changed, he will also check to see what has happened between us and the Cullen's."
"What they have either knowingly or unknowingly done, by keeping mates apart and then trying to claim another's mate as his own, as Edward had done, is a very serious crime." Irina said. "So much so that we are well within our rights to attack the Cullen's in retribution."
My eyes widen in surprise at that. I had known that what Edward did was a serious crime, it had to be based from just how much it hurt me, but I hadn't thought they would want to attack the whole family. I was sure that the whole family was in on it. I just couldn't believe they all knew I was meant for the Denali's and that Edward knew it and tried to woo me anyways.
"As we said last night, we don't want to end our friendship in case it is needed some time in the future." Kate said, starting to put my worries at ease. I hated to admit it, but if they had fought, I would have cheered for the Denali's. I knew the Denali's would win; even with the talents the Cullen coven had, only one of them had actual fighting experience. All of the Denali's were much older than all of the Cullen's; I was sure just one of the Denali's was older than all of the Cullen's combined. The Cullen's wouldn't win against the Denali's. I didn't want the Cullen's to get hurt, but if I had to choose, unlike the Denali's when they learned about me, I would choose them. "At the same time though, they have committed a horrible crime against us and we would rather not stay here longer than we have to."
"We want to go home, with you, and fix everything the Cullen's did and make sure you are safe." Irina said. "To make sure you are safe, we need to have you changed as soon as possible."
"That's what we want to talk about." Tanya said. "We want to set up a plan that we put into action to change you and bring you home."
"Alright." I wasn't exactly happy to leave Forks, I wasn't quite ready; but I knew I had to. If anything, it would definitely get me away from the Cullen's and, I was sad to admit it given how much they had meant to me at one point, I was happy for a chance to get away from them. I didn't want to be around them and I wasn't sure when I would want to be.
"There are a few major points we need to talk about." Irina said in a soft and gently voice. She, they, knew this was a conversation that needed to be had but a conversation that was being forced upon me. "The first being when do you want to be changed?"
The question was a loaded question. I knew I wanted to be changed when I was closer to their age, but that wasn't an option because of the Volturi. There wasn't any other age that I really wanted to get to aside from one closer to theirs; but I couldn't do that. I would have to be okay with being turned at 18 because if I wasn't, I could get killed by the Volturi or changed by them and then the Cullen's would be punished because I wasn't turned like they had promised. I didn't want that.
At the same time, I really did want to be turned right away. Forgetting about Charlie, Renee, Jacob and everything else about this life that I would have to say goodbye to, I really wanted to be changed into a vampire as soon as I could. I had been preparing myself to be changed for at least a year now because of Edward. I wanted to be a vampire and have it finalized that I had an eternity with those I knew I would love. I say would because even though I could feel a bond with them, I wouldn't say I loved them.
How could I love them after only knowing them for a few days? Especially after everything had happened, I couldn't say I loved them yet. Granted they hadn't done much, but they still did enough to hurt. Their lack of inaction hurt me. Just like people can lie by omitting information, they hurt me by not acting when they found out about me. I was sure that they could have saved me from a lot of things that I would have rather never lived through.
"Whenever you think it's best." I answered after a few moments to think about it. "I just want a day or two to say goodbye my dad and mom."
I would say goodbye to Jake, but I didn't think that would end well. I had already been warned about being turned by Edward, and his family had a treaty of peace. No matter how strenuous it was. But the Denali's, I was sure the pack didn't even know they existed and I highly doubted they would care that they were also 'vegetarian' vampires as well. All the pack would care about was that they were vampires and were going to bite me. I was sure the pack would attack. Jake might not, I may be able to talk him out of it, especially if I told him about what had happened at Italy; but his pack, they would hear everything and they would feed off of each other's hate of vampires and would want to attack. I was sure that Sam would want to attack. I didn't want to risk any harm coming to the Denali's; it just wasn't worth it.
"Do you know what to you want to do in regards to your parents?" Kate asked as she leaned forward in her chair.
"Well, I had thought that I could, at the very least, keep in contact with them via the phone and then eventually just slow the contact until it stopped all together."
That was the best idea I could come up with that didn't involve me dying, me still being able to be in contact with both of my parents and me not having to just disappear on them. I guess it could be considered a bit selfish that I wanted to stay in contact with them for as long as possible, but I really did love them and what daughter wouldn't want to be able to see their parents for as long as they were alive? I knew I wanted to.
The three vampires looked at each and I knew they were having a conversation. I also knew, I wasn't sure how but I did, that they were having a silent conversation. They weren't talking too fast for me to hear; this was a conversation based off of knowing someone very well. And even though I hadn't known them for that long or even very well, I knew that what they were talking about wasn't good and that I was about to get bad news.
"I'm afraid that you can't do that." Tanya said. "When you are a vampire, you won't be able to contact them at all." That was definitely bad news.
"If you contact them as a vampire, they may start to look for you because they want to see their daughter." Irina said. "When they see you, they will know something is different. The Volturi won't allow for that. If you continue to talk or even see your family, it will eventually become apparent that you aren't aging and then we would have to kill them."
"But, is that really my only option?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "I would think that just talking to them over the phone would be okay."
"A person's voice changes over time. It's not immediate and not that dramatic within short time periods; but eventually it will show." Kate explained. "The Cullen's only get away with being around humans because no humans have ever questioned them. I assume humans don't question the Cullen's because they are both too afraid and too fascinated to question anything; it's part of our charm."
"There are a couple things we can do." Tanya said. "We can fake your death or we can have you disappear. The normal way, what every vampire that I have ever met does, they just disappear. It may be a bit harder on the families that way. You have to remember that when most vampires are changed, it's not with their permissions, so they have no chance to say goodbye to their families."
"What do you think I should do?" I asked them, not wanting to make the choice myself. How could I decide if my parents find out I'm dead or not? I didn't want that.
"That's not our decision Bella." Tanya said.
"Edward may have been more than happy to make decisions for you; but, you're your own person." Irina said. "We'll support any decision you make."
"We've been around Edward more than long enough to know how controlling he can be." Tanya said when I looked confused about Irina's response. I didn't think they knew that much about our relationship. "Edward came from a time that it was expected of men to do everything; to be the head of the family. He's never grown out of that thought process."
I couldn't even pretend to defend Edward; not that I wanted to. Edward was always controlling; he always told me what I should do instead of suggesting something. I would like to think it hadn't started that way; but truth be told, I couldn't remember. Either way, he had done it so often that I eventually didn't realize he was doing it. Until recently at least.
Thinking about it now, I was embarrassed that I had even asked them what I should do. It was my responsibility to decide what to do; not theirs. I knew that, yet it was habit to ask for Edwards' opinion so I just automatically asked for theirs. Yet, I wasn't actually asking for their opinion, which is something I already knew, they just wanted me to be turned and they truly didn't care what happened to my parents because their concern was with me not with my parents. I was asking what to do; which is something they can't decide for me and they knew it. I should have known it. I'll have to do my best in the future to not ask what to do, but to ask for their opinion only.
As far as what I wanted, I wasn't sure, but it was time to decide. If I disappeared to live out eternity with my mates, it would leave my parents always wondering had happened to me. They would probably spend years, or even the rest of their lives, looking and definitely wondering, what had happened to me. It was something they would never know. I wasn't sure I could leave them to that fate; but it would be the easiest on my end. All I would have to do is just leave. No packing, no letter, no warning, no nothing. I would just leave and never contact them again.
The other option I had would be to fake my death. That would involve a bit of planning. I wasn't sure how much planning would be needed, but I was sure it would be a lot. Charlie was Chief of Police, we would have to be very careful to make sure that there wasn't a way for them to think that it wasn't me that died. There would have to be a way for us to trick, or at the very least elude, forensic science. There was no way Charlie wouldn't want everything possible to be checked, double checked and then for him to go over everything himself; even if he didn't understand it. That involved a lot of risk because it was very likely that science would figure out that I wasn't killed. If we could get it to work though, it would give my parents closure. It would be painful, but they would at least know what happened to me.
"Well, I think, I want to just disappear." I said with a small frown. I felt like I was taking the easy way out and being a bad daughter by not giving my parents closure; but, I just couldn't risk anyone finding out that I hadn't really died. It would lead to too many questions and I felt there was a higher risk for the Volturi to get involved. It was a long shot that the Volturi would be involved, but I really wanted to be as safe as possible. "That will also allow us to leave sooner." I said with a small smile.
"And the sooner you can become one of us." Irina said with a smile.
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" Tanya asked with a quirked eyebrow. "I don't want you to regret it."
"It's not what I really want to do, but I think that would be the best and realistic thing to do."
"If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do." Kate said.
"Now, exactly when would you like to leave?" Irina asked, moving the conversation along quickly.
They had said I could probably get away with a little time before I had to leave and be turned. But, I wasn't I wanted to procrastinate on leaving. The longer I stayed, the guiltier I would feel and then I may end up changing my mind and then have it take longer for me to be changed because we would then need to come up with a way for my death to be faked. I could also see myself starting to resent having to be a vampire, or at least resenting the Denali's for the rush of having to be changed; no matter how much it made sense that I would have to leave soon. So, I just didn't want to stay and look at Charlie longer than I had to, knowing that I was leaving him soon. I knew I was taking the cowards' way out, but I couldn't help it.
"Two days?" I asked and then bit my bottom lip as I awaited their answer.
"If that's what you want, it would make us happy to leave that soon." Irina said with a wide smile.
"That's wonderful." Tanya said as she clapped her hands together. She had a grin that matched both Irinas' and Kates'. "I'm sure you'll love Denali."
I didn't doubt I would. From what I had heard and seen from what little I looked up online, it was a beautiful land. I was sure that I would love living with them. It would take some getting used to since I would be living with people I had just met. But, I just knew it would work. There was no way it wouldn't… half of the coven were my mates after all.
"What did you want to do before we leave?" Irina asked with a tilt of her head when she noticed I didn't look nearly as excited as they did.
"I still want to talk with Alice and Edward." I answered right away. That was something I couldn't and wouldn't avoid doing. It had to be done. "But, if you don't mind, I want you guys to be there with me when I talk to them." I said with a hopeful smile.
"Why do you want us there?" Irina asked with a tilt of head.
I initially wanted to think she was asking because she, or even they for all I knew, thought that I perhaps wanted them to do all the talking for me; which I didn't. I guess I could see why they might think that since I had basically let Edward do all the talking for me when I was with him. But, I wanted the Denali's there, not only for support for if and when the conversations got hard, but also so I wouldn't fall for either of their manipulations or lies again. I would like to think that they wouldn't do that, but I had thought they wouldn't do that when I was really close to them; so for all I knew, they might. I was afraid that one or both of them might try to lie about something to make them appear in a better light; I didn't think that was possible. I wanted them there to keep both of the younger vampires in line.
"I want you guys there for me because I think the conversations, I don't want to talk to them both at the same time, will be hard." I answered right away. "I also want you guys there to make sure that Edward and Alice tell me isn't a lie. You guys might not know everything, but you know part of what happened better than I do."
"So, you want us there to keep you strong and to make sure the two keep to the truth?" Tanya asked to which I nodded in the affirmative.
"We can definitely do that for you." Kate said with a smile.
"Are you expecting to have a hard time with their conversations?" Irina asked.
"I think so." I admitted. "I hope that it won't be that hard because I already know what has been done, but I think it will be hard to hear it all straight from them. You know?"
"We understand Bella and we want more than nothing than to be there for you." Irina said with a gentle smile. "When did you want to talk to them?"
"I would think as soon as possible since I want to leave in a couple days and I don't think the Cullen's would want to follow us." I answered.
"Did you want them to come with us to Denali for your change?" Tanya asked.
"Not really." I said with a forlorn look. I would have been okay with Esme and Emmett there; especially since I wanted to arm wrestle with Emmett. I've wanted to do that since I learned about how much stronger newborns are compared to vampires that were a little older. "I would have liked Esme and Emmett there; but I couldn't ask for them and not their mates." I could never do that.
"Yes, I don't think they would follow us." Irina mused.
"We already made it clear that we didn't want them near our home for a while. They may a house in Alaska, but that's our permanent residence and they have other places they can go live; they will stay away."
"You made it clear to them?" I questioned a bit apprehensively.
"Yes. We had to do something while you were off with Tanya." Kate said with a devilish smirk. "Once you two left, we got Edward home and talked with him."
"More like nearly beat him to a pulp for what he did and his arrogant attitude that he thankfully quickly dropped." Irina interrupted with an innocent smile.
"Once we talked with Edward, we made sure that the rest of the Cullen's knew that they were invited to be around our territory, which their house is technically built on since they are family so we allowed it, but with what they did, we don't them around our place for a while." Kate continued talking, like Irina hadn't talked. "We were nervous about telling you what we had done; that was one of the things we had wanted to talk about. But, we just don't want them around you for your change. We want that between us."
"I don't mind; I would have preferred you told me what you had done a little sooner; but I don't mind." I answered. At least they were planning on telling me and what they had done was something that I was more than okay with them doing. I just wished I had been there when they had talked with Edward; but what's done is done.
"We're sorry Bella." Irina said. "There were more important things to go over aside from us yelling at Edward and the other Cullen's."
"Well, at least it made sure Edward hadn't put up much of a fight when I broke up with him." I said with a sigh. That was definitely a plus. With how controlling he was, it wouldn't have surprised me if he had try to put up some sort of fight for me to stay with him. I didn't want to have to deal with that and everything else.
"That would have been annoying to deal with." Irina agreed.
"Who did you want to talk to first?" Tanya asked. "Alice or Edward?"
"Alice; I wanted to save Edward for last."
"I'm guessing you just want her side of things?" Kate asked and then continued talking after I nodded in the affirmative. "I wouldn't imagine she would have a lot to say. She's probably just going to try and defend herself; but there's only so much defense she can have for her actions."
"Which isn't much." Irina dryly said.
"I just want to hear what she had to say. She was my best friend." I said with a sad smile.
Kate quickly got up from her seat and moved to sit next to me and wrapped me in a hug. She nuzzled my neck and I immediately wrapped my arms around her in response.
"I don't like to see you sad and you've looked that way far too much since we've met." Kate said without removing her head from the crook of my neck. "I wish we hadn't fallen for what Alice had done so that we wouldn't be part of the reason you're sad. It would be have been so much easier for all of us."
"We will never be able to make up for what we did; but we will always try." Irina promised.
"Would you like me to text Alice for her to come over?" Tanya asked, switching topics before things got too heavy. We had already been through all of those things and I really didn't want to go through it again. I knew their thoughts how things went and how much they regretted everything they didn't do. They knew how much it hurt me; we didn't need to remind ourselves of how much it hurt.
"Sure, if you don't mind." I was thankful for the offer because I was much too comfortable being in Kates' arms to text Alice.
"She'll be here in a few minutes then." Tanya said after a few moments as she text back and forth with Alice.
"I think I'll stand here for this." Irina said as moved to lean against my night stand.
With Kate on the bed with me, she now only had one arm around my waist as did I and I also had my head on her shoulder, Tanya was still leaning against the wall opposite of me, and now with Irina against my nightstand, the only real spot available for Alice was in the desk chair. They were setting up for where they wanted Alice to stand or sit.
"If you want to." I responded to Irina.
"Of course I do; I don't want Alice to have to sit closer to you than me." She said, not even bothering to hide her possessiveness.
Now it made sense. They had positioned themselves so that Alice would be in the farthest possible spot from me; if she were to sit down or lean against a wall that is. I thought it was adorable that they didn't want Alice closer to me than them; it was probably because they were still mad about what she had done.
"Have you thought of exactly what you want to ask her?" Kate asked as she rubbed her cheek on the top of my head.
"I'm just going to ask for her side of everything. I figure we already know what the results are of her actions; but I want to know exactly when she intervened and then why she thought she needed to." I answered just as there was a tap on the window. Alice had arrived a lot faster than I had thought she would.
Unlike the Denali's, Alice just let herself in like normal. I had never had her ask to come in, in the past, so I didn't want to say anything now. I did actually invite her over, so I guess I couldn't be so upset about her just letting herself in. Her doing that just showed how much respect Alice tended to have for my privacy.
"Hi Bella." Alice said in the most subdued voice I've ever heard her use. She didn't look that happy to be here and in fact, looked a little hesitant. She was even giving the Denali's hesitant looks, like she was afraid they were about to attack or something.
"Hi Alice." I responded in an almost defeated sounding tone.
Neither of us said anything for a few moments; the air was thick with tension. I knew she had heard what I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to ask. She knew what I wanted her to tell me; there was no reason I needed to ask again. I was waiting for her to start talking; to start explaining everything. After a minute or two, she finally started to talk after she gave a heavy sigh.
"Bella, I'm sorry that things worked out the way they did." Alice said as she sat down on the desk chair. "You know my visions are subjective and something I may happening at the end of the day can change several times by the time it is the end of the day."
"We all know that Alice." I said, wanting her to get to the point and explain her actions.
"Well, I didn't know anything about the Denali's being your mates until Edward went there for a week when he first met you." Alice said, acting like I hadn't said anything. "But, then I had a vision and I really wanted it to play out. So, I went through several different scenarios, and went with the one that I thought would work best for you. It's just, as things went along, decisions started to change, events changed and things just got out of control."
"But, when Edward first went to Denali, you called the Denali's to have them stay there, why? Why not let them come to me, instead of manipulating them not to?" Alice very visibly flinched when I said 'manipulating'; she didn't like to hear it, but I wasn't going to sugar coat anything she did. It was only fair that she faced her actions. "Don't you realize that my life would have been so much easier and a lot less painful if they were with me? I wouldn't be in the mess that I am with the Volturi if they had been with me because Edward would have never left me and gone to Italy." I said, my voice getting very close to yelling at her because of how mad I was.
"I'm so sorry Bella." Alice said, her eyes watering up with tears of venom that would never fall; no matter how much she may have wanted them to. "When he first went there, I had a vision of the Denali's coming over and they would have caused a lot of trouble with finding their mate who was only a junior in high school at the time." Alice said in a pleading tone. "It would have caused so much problems for you because you were still so young. I just wanted them to wait a little bit before meeting you so that you were older and wouldn't have so many problems."
"But that wasn't your decision to make!" I yelled. "What problems could have come up that were worse than the ones I had to face?" I asked after I took a few calming breaths so I wouldn't yell again. Charlie wasn't there to hear me yell, but I still didn't want my anger to get the best of me.
"It wouldn't have been as bad as what you faced." Alice said as she slumped against the chair. "As your best friend, I didn't want you to have any problems with your mates."
"But everyone has problems." I said. "Just look at your family. Carlisle and Esme didn't run away when they first met; Esme had to almost die for them to be together."
"I know, but I was just trying to help." Alice said with a sad look. "I'm so sorry Bella. I know now I shouldn't have done what I did, but at the time, I thought I was helping. All I wanted was what I thought what was best for you."
"But, that wasn't your call." I said with a pleading look for her to understand that she was horribly wrong. I leaned a little further into Kate because even though I wasn't crying, I could still feel myself becoming a bit drained from this conversation; even though we hadn't been talking for that long.
"I know I shouldn't have done it; and I swear I'm so sorry." Alice said as she leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands in front of her; she looked like she was almost in a pleading position. "I made several horrible mistakes Bella and I swear I'll never do something like that again. It's just, as time went along, I just couldn't stop because I was so caught up on getting you out of trouble and then fixing what I had done. But, everything I thought people would do, they didn't and nothing worked."
"What do you mean several?" I nervously asked, worried that there was something else that she wasn't telling me.
Alice gave a nervous look towards the three Denali's, a look that also looked heavily apologetic.
"Well, when Edward left, Esme, Carlisle and Emmett wanted to go to the Denali's and tell them you were hurt so they would go to you; but, then I had more visions and then I couldn't see anything about your future; that was before I knew that the pack blocked my visions. Now I'm guessing, I didn't think this then, that Jacob must have come over when the Denali's were here and that's why your future blacked out at some point and I didn't see anything past that. So, I panicked and had everyone agree not to say anything because I was afraid that it would be disastrous to you."
"You thought we wouldn't be able to protect our mate?" Kate harshly asked. "Jasper isn't the only soldier in our families. I dare to say that I was even more of a soldier than he was." Kate was definitely offended and I would have to remember to ask why she would be later when we were in Denali and away from the mess that was the Cullen's in Forks.
"It's not that I thought that, it's that I didn't think of that." Alice said quickly, doing her best to placate the ancient vampire next to me before she got too upset. "I'm sorry Kate."
"Don't ever think we can't take care of our own." Kate all but snarled but didn't say anything else because I started to gently rub my hand up and down on her side that my arm was still wrapped around.
"I know that you guys really take care of your coven. I know that, I swear. I was just so focused on Bella and not wanting her to have any problems that I didn't really think of anything else and I wanted to fix it all before it got out of hand."
"But, the only reason you came back was because you had a vision of me jumping off a cliff and thought I was dead." I argued. If she was actually trying to fix it, why had she been gone for months with no contact? That definitely didn't help to fix anything.
"What?" The three Denali's shouted. I had forgotten that I hadn't told them the reason Alice had come back to Forks when she had left. I had been vague because we had been talking about so many things already.
"I was just cliff diving and have some problems fighting the current to get back to the surface and my friend Jacob helped back to the surface. Since Jacob is a shifter and Alice can't see shifter's in her visions, she didn't see me get saved." They had already known that I had temporarily become an adrenaline junky so that I could see and hear Edward. I was completely embarrassed when I told them how messed up I had been.
The three Denali's didn't look happy to learn that there was something else bad that had happened and could have been avoided if they were with me. But, they didn't say anything about it; Kate only tightened her grip on me. Though, I was pretty sure I heard Kate mumble 'need to teach her how to cliff dive properly', but I wasn't sure.
"I know Bella; but my family was falling apart at the same time and so not only was I trying to figure out how to fix what I had messed up and try to put my family back together and keep them together." Alice answered. "So, at first I thought that it wouldn't take long for me to fix what I had done to you, so I got no one to go to you; but before I could straighten that out myself, my family started to break apart and then I found some things about my past and I'm so sorry Bella, I just got distracted by everything that was happening. I was overwhelmed."
I wanted to be mad, I really did; and to an extent I was. But, there was no point in expressing my anger because it wasn't going to change anything. The reasoning she was giving me were excuses and not even good excuses. But, that didn't change her excuses from being true. I think she really did mean well, but she just executed everything poorly and tried to fix everything herself and just couldn't do it. She wasn't a bad person, she just needed to learn how to stay out of matters that don't involve her. She needed to learn that even though she could see the future, it didn't meant that she could manipulate it anytime she wanted to.
I wanted to keep asking her for her reasoning because I just couldn't see how she did all she did and thought it was okay. But, she did what she did and I would never understand her thought process because it wasn't my thought process. Again, I just really hoped she learned from this and never interfered like this again. I could see interfering if it involved saving someone's life; I'm all for that. But, when it came to meeting mates, there's no reason to interfere. There's no way meeting someone's mate could end up being a bad thing. If I kept asking her for reasons though, to try and understand, I would just keep being told the same thing a different way and I would still probably never understand.
I just didn't see this conversation going any further; there wasn't much else I could figure out.
"Thank you Alice for telling me everything." I said, ending the conversation. "I just hope you never do something like this again." I cautioned.
"Yes Bella, I will never interfere in someone's life like this again." Alice immediately promised.
"Also, just so you know, I'm going to leave to Denali in a couple days to change." I said. "I'm not going to fake my death." It was more a warning for her because I was sure Charlie would try to make some connection with the Cullen's; but if the Cullen's stayed in town and didn't hide anything from Charlie, not that really hid anything aside from being vampires anyways.
"Thank you for the heads up; but I would recommend also tell Carlisle." Alice advised.
"Of course we're going to tell Carlisle." Tanya said from her spot against the wall. "She was just telling you as a courtesy based on how close you two used to be."
"Yes, well, I just wanted to make sure." Alice stumbled through her words. She probably did that because she hadn't used her visions to see how the conversation would flow out and so had been thrown off by what Tanya said. I think she was trying to show that she was going to do her best to not rely on her visions so much and that she would try not to manipulate events with them. "Thank you for hearing me out Bella."
"Of course Alice, you were my best friend and I couldn't just ignore all of our history." I said, making sure to use the past tense so that she would know, without doubt, that she wasn't my best friend anymore. Not after what she had done. She might get that title again in the future, but at the moment, I wouldn't even really consider her a friend. She had a lot of making up to do and a lot of trust to gain back.
"Thank you." Alice said softly and then with a nod of her head, she left my room because there wasn't anything else either of us could or would say. Well, at least the conversation wasn't as hard as I had thought it would be; which I was grateful for.
"Well, took a bit of time." Irina said. "Why don't we take you out to eat?"
It was after my normal lunch time and I was hungry. So, that sounded like a good idea.
"Sure; thank you." I said with a smile.
"Of course Bella." Tanya said and then hesitantly asked a question. "Did you want to talk with Edward today or tomorrow?"
"I think today, to get it all done with." I answered right away. I wanted tomorrow to not have any heavy conversations to bog me down. I wanted to have the talk with Edward done as soon as possible and then I could put my focus on leaving Forks.
"Then, once you're done eating and we get back, one of us can text him to have him come over." Kate said as she started to move off the bed and then dragged me off.
"But, let's get you some food first so that you can relax." Irina said as she opened the door for the four of us to leave.
Lunch definitely wouldn't last long enough. I was not looking forward to talking with Edward at all.