~Jane~

Fifteen months, fifteen long months.

Since being told that the events of Akuze had gained her a recommendation into the Alliance's N program, she has been constantly fighting to prove to that same confidence in herself. In her opinion, Akuze was not something to be commended on but just sheer luck at work, not the proof that she was a good soldier.

A good soldier was able to bring back their subordinates, those who trusted in their leadership, their orders, to succeed in a mission and bring them home. Though she wasn't the commander of the mission when they were first given the orders of investigating, circumstances had left her at the top of the chain of command and she should have be ready and able to get her people out.

Perhaps that was the reason for her dreams, for her hatred of herself for surviving. She didn't suffer from the dreams here, during training, but she knew it was only because of the fact that her days were tiring and her body was so exhausted that she was out like a light the moment she hit the pillow.

Now though, she knows she has earned her new rank of N7. It was by her own determination, blood, sweat, and tears, and solely her own. She had gone through the same hellish training as every other marine in the Interplanetary Combatives Training, those who succeeded and those unable to go on, and now truly feels the rank is deserved. Her confidence shows as they pin the N7 rank to her formal uniform during her graduation ceremony.

Before her official time off to recover from training and rest up before her first position as her new rank, she attends a small gathering on the Citadel. The Alliance holds a party of sorts to congratulate the newest N7s and to allow higher members of the military to offer them certain positions available under their command. Admirals and Captains, even older N7s, all attend with hopes of meeting and getting a chance to gauge each new graduate's qualities to see which would be suit their needs.

During the evening, Jane is approached by a tall man in a Captain's uniform. It is as she stands straight at his approach with a respectful nod that she sees a N7 insignia, along with many other prestigious awards, on his uniform. "Captain," she greets respectfully.

A smile crosses his worn, but wise, face. "At ease, Commander Shepard, this is supposed to be a celebration, not an inspection."

She relaxes her stance and nods in understanding. She now recognizes the individual, Captain David Anderson, one of the Alliance's most decorated soldiers and the first N7. "It's an honor, Sir," he offers his hand and she takes it with a firm shake.

"Honor's all mine, really," he dismisses. "I've been speaking with your fellow graduates, like everyone else here really, trying to see what the next steps for many of you are." He motions for Jane to walk with him, "All of you are all exemplary and all have earned the ranks you are, so tell me, what are your plans? Do you plan to take an offer for staying planetside or are you more interested in a space posting?"

Jane understands the Captain's questions, he is trying to gauge which of the newest N7s is fit for a certain position he has or may know of without outright stating what it is. Whether it is because he doesn't wish to have that change the original opinion or because it is for a more classified reason, she doesn't know but she knows it as the same tactic all the other officers have been using all night.

"I'm open to either option, Sir, but I tend to enjoy being in the action, whether than means I get placed on a planet with a lot of activity or on a ship with constant deployments. So long as I can get my hands dirty." Her whole life she has been active, not moving or accomplishing anything left her anxious.

He laughs, "I guess that's the same with us all when we're young. I noticed from your exercises that you tended to take the lead in almost all instances."

She nods, "Yes, Sir. I saw a way to accomplish our goals so I spoke up, took charge, and lead us through the courses. I never pushed someone from the lead, but I didn't just follow when I thought something was a bad call, I spoke up."

He is quiet, seeming to contemplate her words. She knows that her attitude of the matter has already pissed a few of the people she has spoken to already, but she can't seem to force herself to just stick to being quiet. She has always been outspoken, but she has never questioned without cause, not since she fell in line on Akuze. That mission has taught her that succeeding in the mission is better than gaining a rank by kissing ass.

Finally, Captain Anderson nods and turns to Jane to face her fully, "Thank you, Commander. It was a pleasure to get a chance to speak with you, I'm confident you will do the N7s proud." They shake hands once more before he takes his leave and Jane is left to converse once again with any superior who approaches for an informal interrogation.

Once the night starts to become late and the last of the officers have taken to either talking amongst themselves or returning to their own duties, Jane finds it an appropriate time to excuse herself.

She can't wait to get to a bed somewhere and just collapse into sweet oblivion after so long of not sleeping well. In a way, she's a bit worried she may not know how to sleep like a normal person anymore, but she figures that'll be a problem she'll be happy to test the solutions for.

In thinking of a normal bed, her thoughts start to drift to something else that she has desperately missed the time she's been gone, Garrus. Garrus Vakarian, her best friend and one person in the galaxy she feels so deeply connected to that it scares her.

During training, she would sometimes get a short chance of coming into the reach of communications. In those small windows of opportunity she would send as many short messages to him as she could and receive just as many from him in return. Often their conversations were not synchronized due to time frames, but each would rely the events of their days, even their idle thoughts, anything to just have the chance to communicate.

The one thing that remained constant were the messages of how they missed the other, their company even when only lying in bed together or the memories of how their bodies came together in a harmony that shouldn't be possible. She couldn't believe that the first time she had ever found herself in a relationship with someone she both valued as a friend and for the bodily pleasure they could offer, let alone the fact that they could be so far apart for so long and still find herself just as attached.

Her training did more than just give her confidence in the field, it gave her the confidence to finally admit to herself that she is in love with the Turian detective. She could no longer deny the intense flopping in her stomach when his messages piled into her Omni-Tool, or the ache when she thought of how long it was that she had last seen him, heard his beautiful two-toned voice, or felt his warm plates and hide beneath her fingers.

She had almost been caught by one of her fellow recruits when she found herself able to sketch him from memory. All of her previous drawings had been from a direct reference and she could never imagine the subject in order to draw, except for the one thing she found she could always draw by memory, a Thresher Maw. She thinks it may have been something to do with the fact that she never really connected to any other person, whether in her public sketchbook or more private one.

That had been a tense situation as she tried to downplay being caught in the act, and the only thing that saved her was that she hadn't gotten to his more intimate qualities. She merely explained that she was remembering their alien anatomy lessons from earlier in the day and her fellow soldier took the diversion with a shrug.

Shaking off the memory, Jane sends a message to Garrus to see if he was available. It was late in the night and she didn't want to just barge into his apartment in any case, let alone when he may be asleep. She had told him about the gathering earlier when he had asked her itinerary, but didn't have a time frame so she hoped that she wouldn't have to wait until tomorrow to meet up.

She sends a quick ping, "Hey, I just got done. Sorry it took so long. You awake?"

The speed at which he responds shocks her, but she also forgets that she doesn't have to send pings across a galaxy and through communication transits. "I'm awake, but I'm not home. I have to finish working up a case I'm on. Go ahead and head to the apartment and make yourself at home."

She smiles at his response, a lighter feeling in her chest now that she has actually admitted her feelings to herself. Still haven't said anything to him about those feelings, but I'll get there. "It's been 15 months and you blow me off for a case? So underappreciated…" she jokes as she makes her way to a cab to take it to the hotel room to pick up her things before heading to his place.

"Will bringing food make it up to you? My table has been so empty without you," he responds and she has to hold back the laugh at the image that pops up from his message.

With that image in mind, she pings back, "You might want to think about that statement."

"I know what I said." She is glad that no one is actually manning the cab because the giggle that escapes her lips is easier to deny without someone else hearing it. Before she can think up a response he sends another message. "So…food?"

"You know the way to a biotic girl's heart." She sends her reply and exits the cab to get her things, returning moments later to go to his apartment, the one place that feels more like home than anywhere else she can think of.

When she arrives to his apartment, she opens the door with her Omni-Tool access and walks in to find it just the same as it was fifteen months ago. She huffs a quiet laugh at the simplistic way Garrus keeps his apartment, how he keeps it so organized that it looks like a showroom, like no one lives here, and wonders if that's a Turian trait or just something completely Garrus.

The only thing that stands out from the normal is her table, the old wooden antique she is happy to see hasn't made its way into the trash. When she had bought it, it was a completely impulsive buy and she hadn't really thought about where to even keep it. Upon finding that Garrus had plenty of room, she had no second thoughts before shoving it against the wall while he worked. Of course, she had been completely honest when she told him that if he didn't like it he could get rid of it, but deep down she had to admit that she secretly wanted him to take it as a gift.

Walking to the table to run her hand across its pockmarked surface, she stops at the package and note sitting directly in the center. Picking up the note, it's written in a Turian script, so she runs it under her Tool to translate, figuring if Garrus didn't want her to see it, he probably shouldn't have left it sitting like some kind of offering.

As it translates, she finds herself smiling at the words he clearly meant for her. "Jane, figured you're going to get bored during your long time off on the Citadel. Here's something to help you pass the time."

She sets the note aside and picks up the package. It is the size of a datapad, though a bit thicker and with more weight and a denser feel to it. Around it is a brown paper that reminds her of the packing paper mailing used to use on Earth in the poorer neighborhoods. The paper is simply folded so that it covers whatever is inside and she easily pulls it away and off, to reveal what he had gotten her.

Lying in her hand is a new sketchbook, bound by a thick string at the left and with a tanned leather cover and backing. She sets the wrapping paper down to open the pages to thick parchment, cream in appearance and with clearly visible grain. It looks like every part of it was handmade with expert craftsmanship and Jane can't believe the price he must have spent on it. Flipping the book over between her hands to rub against the leather, she doesn't even think she wants to ruin its beauty by drawing in it.

Taking the sketchbook and its accompanying note, Jane moves to pick up her duffle bag and take her things out of the living room and into the bedroom to change. She concludes that the first thing she's going to do during her newfound time off is look up just how to read a Turian. That way, she isn't going in completely blind when she tells him her feelings.

~I may be sporadic for the next week or so as I have to have a small surgery. I have not abandoned this, I am just recovering, so please be patient.