Yey! Two Towers! Oh, and all of the MLP references are dedicated to my friend dreamofhope.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord Of The Rings.

My Little Shrubbery?

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli had been following the orcs since Amon Hen, hardly ever stopping to rest. Mainly because Aragorn didn't think it was 'cool'.

" I'm a deer!" squealed Legolas as he sprinted across the field. He passed Aragorn, who was carrying a banjo.

" Hey...Aragorn! Why...are...you...carrying...a banjo?" panted Gimli.

Aragorn grinned. "Because we're running cross-COUNTRY. Get it? Get it? Banjo's are COUNTRY music instruments."

Gimli looked at him strangely. "Lamest...joke...ever."

Legolas leapt up onto a rock.

" Hey Legolas!" called Aragorn, " Can you see my house from there?"

" No." said Legolas, "Aren't rangers supposed to be nomadic?"

Aragorn smiled, "Yep. I'm an air-bender."

" So...you...could...blow...us...to...the...hobbits?" asked Gimli hopefully.

Aragorn laughed. "Silly Gimli. That's what water-benders do."

Gimli knit his brow in confusion.

" I see the orc army!" cried Legolas, "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"

" We...kind-of...already...guessed...that...Legolas." said Gimli.

" Let's go kill them!" yelled Aragorn.

Legolas looked horrified.

" What?! But, but I'm only on Level 5 for my Jedi training! I'm not ready to take on an entire army of opponents yet!"

" What about all of those orcs you killed in Moria?" asked Gimli.

" My charater setting was on manual." sighed Legolas.

Suddenly Aragorn, who had been momentarily forgotten, spoke up.

" I see horses!" he said excitedly, "I need one for my World of Warcraft mission!"

Aragorn ran down the hill towards the horses, Legolas and Gimli following behind him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

" Hey! Horse dudes! I am Prince Caspien! You must worship me!" yelled Aragorn. Too late.

The horse riders turned around and circled the three travellers. They lowered their spears menacingly towards Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli.

Then, one of the riders spoke up.

" We are the Knights Who Say 'Nit'! State your name and business!"

" My name is King Aragorn, and I want a horse and to go somewhere that has Wi-fi!" ordered Aragorn.

Gimli looked at him strangely. "Since when were you promoted to 'King' Aragorn?"

" Right after I got the the eighth square of the board." replied Aragorn.

Gimli rolled his eyes and turned to the rider.

" We are looking for a couple of annoying hobbits. They got carried off by orcs, who are taking them to Sarumon. Have you seen them?"

The rider examined his spear lazily.

" Yeah, we've seen them. That was our breakfast."

Legolas looked at him in disgust. "You ATE them?!"

" No, actually. We ate the orcs. Didn't see any of those hobbit-things with them."

" Crap!" said Gimli angrily, "You mean I ran all this way for nothing?!"

Aragorn cleared his throat.

" So, about the horses and Wi-fi..."

" The nearest city is Edoras. We will only give you entrance and horses if you get something for us." said the rider.

" As long as it isn't expensive jewellery, I'm in!" said Aragorn.

" First, you must plant us, a shrubbery." ordered the rider.

" Yey! Plant life!" squealed Legolas.

" Where the hell are we supposed to find a shrubbery?!" asked Gimli.

" In Fanghorn Forest of course!" said the rider gleefully. He then beckoned for another rider to bring forth two horses. A purple horse, and a crazy-looking pink horse appeared.

" Hey!" said Gimli, "How come I don't get a horse?!"

" Because they couldn't find any your size." answered Legolas.

Gimli kicked him in the shins.

" This is Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie." said the rider. "They won't shut up, so we'll just hand them off to you."

He leaned over to Pinkie Pie and sighed, "What was that Pinkie?"

The horse didn't say anything, but the rider nodded as if he understood.

" Yes, we'll have that polka party as soon as we actually get to kill something. Okay?" he said.

The three travellers looked at each other.

" He's crazy!" whispered Gimli.

Aragorn eagerly jumped onto Pinkie Pie.

" C'mon guys! Let's go into the creepy-looking forest!" he said before taking off into the forest.

Legolas leapt onto his horse and spead off.

" Hey!" yelled Gimli, "Wait for me!"

The inside of Fanghorn Forest actually wasn't as creepy as it was on the outside, mainly because it appeared that someone had decorated it for Christmas several months early.

" Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away! Bella died, Jacob cried, HARRY POTTER ALL THE WAY!" sang Aragorn.

" Please don't tell me that you're gonna start acting like Pippin." groaned Gimli.

" Nope, just a passing phase." said Aragorn.

Gimli sighed in relief.

Meanwhile, Legolas was busy hugging all of the trees.

" Ummm, Legolas?" said Gimli.

" Yeah?"

" Being a 'tree-hugger' doesn't mean you literally hug trees." he said.

" Well, trees deserve hugs as much as people do! So I'm still going to hug them!" argued Legolas.

" How about you read them bed-time stories too." said Gimli sarcastically.

Legolas beamed. "Good idea!"

Gimli face-palmed himself.

" Hear little shrubbery! Hear little shrubbery! Where are you!" said Aragorn as if he was calling a dog.

" Uhhh, Aragorn?" said Gimli.

" Yeah?"

" What the hell?"

Aragorn shrugged and kept calling the shrubbery. After a minute he started to get pissed.

" Stupid shrubbery! I'm King Aragorn, so you must do what I say! Come here RIGHT NOW!" he bellowed.

Suddenly, there was a loud 'pop' and Dobby the house-elf appeared holding a potted shrub. He handed the shrub to Aragorn.

" Here you are Harry Potter sir! Dobby found a very nice shrub for your shrubbery!" he said before disappearing.

Aragorn held the potted shrub akwardly. "You know, I'm starting to think that Dobby actually might be related to Jar-Jar."

Then, Legolas tipped his head to the side, listening. Aragorn and Gimli listened too.

" Do you hear that?" asked Legolas.

" No." said Aragorn and Gimli.

Ring! Ring!

" Oh! Oh! I hear it now!" said Aragorn excitedly.

" It sounds like a cell-phone." said Gimli.

" We're not alone." said Legolas misteriously.

" Well, duh. I'm here." said Aragorn.

" I mean besides us." replied Legolas.

" Oh."

The noise was getting closer.

" I reckon the person is going to come out of those trees in front of us any second now." whispered Legolas.

" Yey! I finally get to kill something!" said Aragorn happily.

" Oh, I don't think you'll want to kill me." said a voice behind them.

Aragorn whipped around, slicing his sword through the air.

Gandalf was standing a few metres away, grinning.

" I do love throwing my voice." he said.

" GANDALF?!" they cried.

" No, I'm Santa Claus." Gandalf said sarcastically.

" Oh. My mistake." apologized Aragorn.

Gandalf face-palmed himself.

" So, what are you doing in Fanghorn Forest?" asked Gimli, "I thought you died."

" I did." said Gandalf, "But I came back. I'm awesome like that."

" And, have you seen Merry and Pippin while you've been here?" said Gimli.

" Unfortunatley." sighed Gandalf. "Don't worry, they're in good hands. Or, should I say, branches."

He laughed, but the others didn't seem to get the joke, so he stopped.

Akward silence.

" So, I see you finally got around to washing your robe!" said Legolas happily, "Now you won't get arrested by the fashion police and beaten by their fabulous batons!"

Everyone stared at Legolas.

" What?"

" cough, weirdo." said Gimli.

" No, Legolas." said Gandalf, "I did not wash my robe, I got a new one instead! Now I'm Gandalf the White!"

Legolas gasped. " Gandalf! Don't be racist! That's not nice at all!"

Aragorn looked confused, "So, everytime you buy a different colour robe, your name changes?"

Gandalf sighed in exasperation and lead them out of the forest.

" I heard that you were trying to get into Edoras by planting a shrubbery." said Gandalf. " In truth, all you really need to do to get in is to pretend you're royalty. Always works for me."

He walked out into the dazzling sunlight and started whistling.

" Gandalf!" scolded Aragorn, "Now is not the time to go all Tom Bombadil on us!"

Suddenly, they saw a flash of rainbow and Rainbow Dash landing on the ground next to Gandalf. Gandalf patted his horse proudly.

" Stole her from King Theoden." he said.

" Alvin and the Chipmunks are here?" asked Aragorn.

" No, they were on tour last year."

Aragorn pouted.

Gandalf mounted Rainbow Dash, and Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn followed suit.

"To Edoras!" cried Gandalf.