CHAPTER THREE - FRACTURED
The following morning, Lula was up well before Jack. By the time that he entered the living area he found her on the couch channel surfing erratically between watching the morning news and reruns of last night's reality TV programs.
"Good morning" Jack greets neutrally, taking a seat on the lounge beside her.
"Hi" Lula responds with a small smile.
So far the fractured couple is off to a better start today. However, Jack knows he has to confront the elephant in the room and determine whether or not Lula wants them to stay together, whether they still have a chance and whether Jack should be fighting as hard as he can to keep them together...
"Lula... We really need to talk. I know things have been odd between us since last week, since that game of truth or dare. I don't know exactly what it was that triggered it or why, but I know it obviously had something to do with the kid question."
Looking up at him, having turned off her TV program, Lula sighs and says his name under her breath, her mood souring as she makes it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it once again.
"Not again. Please just drop it. Everything's fine..."
At this denial, and certainly not the first, Jack finally snaps. All his stress of trying to keep their relationship together and all the stress of knowing where they are at with each other finally gets to Jack, breaking him.
"LULA! Lula, I love you! But, I can't do this anymore. I have been trying and I have been fighting as hard as I can for you, but I don't know anymore... We're going backwards and I have no idea how to stop it and you have no interest in helping!"
As Jack reaches his breaking point, Lula reaches her own breaking point, too...
The sleight-of-hand magicians stands up from the couch and runs his hands through his hair as he begins pacing around the room. At first he doesn't notice the tears that have instantaneously pooled in Lula's eyes.
As he lets out a long sigh, he grabs the door handle, ready to flee both the house and his drowning relationship, before stopping on the spot as he hears a small whimper, followed by a whisper: "I'm so sorry, Jack..."
Hearing Lula's apology stops Jack in his tracks as he turns to face her, instead of the door he is about to walk out. The second he spots her tear-filled eyes, he darts to be by her side on the lounge next to her.
"I'm so, so sorry, Jack" she repeats once again, her tears and her cries getting stronger and stronger with every passing second.
Wrapping an arm around his girlfriend, he pulls her into him, letting her cry into his chest.
Over the last week, he has had so many thoughts about losing Lula and he has spent so much time thinking about what she may be feeling in the lead up to where they are now. He thought that perhaps his question had made her feel uncomfortable, if he'd brought it up too soon. He thought that his question might have made her realise that she wants kids, but not with him. He thought that maybe kids were very much off her radar, and that there was no going back from that.
However, he never, ever imagined that this is how his question had made her feel...
"Lula" he whispers, pressing a kiss to her hair as he holds her in his arms. She clutches onto him, sobbing her heart out after a week of suppressing her feelings. "It's okay..."
She sniffles, struggling to normalise her breathing as she attempts to reply to her boyfriend, trying to get in control of herself after breaking down.
"No... No, it's not okay. I've been awful this last week and you have no idea why, Jack."
He gives her a squeeze of support. Despite all of his own insecurity and confusion over the last week, it's like it's all been forgotten as he realises the toll that it has taken on Lula.
"You were right. Raising the question about kids did trigger something for me... You see, I spent so many years making light of what happened with my parents, rather than facing the facts of it. I avoided the pain of it, the repercussions. Geek magic has been an outlet, making light of blood and gore rather than remembering what happened. That's how I learnt to cope with that experience. Then, when you started talking about kids, the only thing that I could think about was the knifing; the impact it had on me as a child seeing my mother forced to do that to my unfit father... This last week I've been forced to really face the reality of what my family was, when I normally try to escape it."
Jack nods in understanding, stroking her hair gently as he holds her. He listens to her every word and absorbs her every expression. He's doing his best to support her and comfort her, but deep inside, it's killing him see Lula like this. She's always been the more forward one, the stronger one, so seeing her like this hurts. He could count on one hand how many times he's seen her cry over the course of the year that they have been together.
"I'm so sorry, Jack... I know I've really pushed you away this week. It just brought everything that I've tried to forget in my childhood all back again. I've been trying to run away from all those memories and stay on top of that, which meant running away from everything else."
The couple moves slightly, re-positioning their embrace on the couch. As Lula's tears slow down and she gains control over her breathing, she sits upright a little more, still within Jack's arms.
"I'm sorry I upset you by bringing it up... I really only intended it as just an innocent question."
Lula nods sincerely as she strokes his cheek with her hand. She knows that Jack means what he says and she knows that in no way did Jack intend to open the Pandora's Box that has consequently been unleashed.
"I know... And in response to your question that I never really answered, someday, I want to be a mother, Jack, I do" Lula explains earnestly, noticing Jack's small smile at her comment.
"I want to be a mother, but I have no idea how. How am I supposed to be a mother when the only example I have is mine? My mother, who's infamous for knifing my own father in the neck... that's not a mother..., I don't want our kids to walk out of their room one day to find me knifing you."
Once again, Jack kisses her hair. Even though he can tell that she is feeling a bit better, her past and the impact it's had on her by keeping it to herself is still taking its toll on her.
"Our kids?" he questions, giving her a small, suggestive smile, before his grin becomes cheekier in response to her last comment. "And yeah, well I can't say that I love that idea too much either."
"Well after that comment, I don't know anymore..." Lula replies, giving her boyfriend a smirk and a small shove in his chest.
Jack smiles not only at Lula's sarcastic comment, but because he can see the light returning to her eyes which has been missing for the last week. He can feel the fact that that they're making it out from the other side of their obstacle. Things are finally reverting back to normal... They're getting through it, together.
"Lula? Are we good?" Jack asks; the most contradictory question to ask given her last, albeit jovial, comment.
She just smiles before wrapping an arm around his neck to press their foreheads together closely, looking deep into each other's eyes.
"Yeah, we're good... Thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for not giving up on us."
The two of them share each other's smile, holding each other and appreciating all that they hadn't had and all that they hadn't felt over the last week. After the rough week that their relationship has endured, it only motivates both halves of the pair to ensure that they stay as far away as they possibly can from returning to the same situation in the future.
"I love you."
"Not as much as I love you, Jack Wilder."
He smiles at her, slowly moving in to press a kiss to lips for the first time in a week; for the first time since just before the game of truth or dare gone wrong.
Big thank you to everyone who commented/followed/favourited/read this story so far. I am loving writing it and although we have a few, fluffier chapters coming up with Jack, Lula and the boys, starting with chapter four, there are certainly more trials that are ahead for Jack and Lula. I'd love for you to stay with us on this journey!
Don't forget to drop a comment to let me know what you thought.
Next chapter: On their date night, Jack and Lula both try to outdo each other.