Disclaimer: I do not the Lord Of The Rings

Tripping On Waffles

Pippin woke up early one morning after a nice dream about talking pet potatoes. He yawned and rubbed his eyes before a delicious smell hit his nose. Literally.

"Cool! Bacon!" said Pippin as a strip of bacon hit his nose.

Suddenly, Merry sat bolt upright in his sleeping bag.

"Did somebody say bacon?!" he asked.

"Yeah, a piece of bacon fell from the sky." said Pippin. He took a bite out of it. "And it tastes amazing!"

"Awww, I want bacon to fall on my face too." whined Merry.

Suddenly, a pig fell from the sky and hit Merry in the face.

"I was never really a fan of bacon." said Treebeard, "I prefer waffles."

"Hey, Merry! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Pippin.

"Yep! Breakfast song time!" cheered Merry.

"Do you like waffles? Yeah we like waffles! Do you like pancakes? Yeah we like pancakes! Do you like..."

"Hobbits! Please shut up!" said Treebeard, "You're interrupting my show!"

He then turned back to his giant T.V. To watch Dora on Treehouse. Get it? TREE house! 'Cause he's a tree!

"When I grow up, I want to be a bunny! And I'm gonna name myself Treehouse!" said Pippin randomly.

"I wonder how the bacon fell from the sky?" said Merry.

"It was probably that blasted Peter Pan!" growled Pippin.

Merry ignored him and pointed to a cloud of smoke to the west.

"Hey! What's that?" he asked.

Pippin gasped.

"Someone must be having a barbecue!" he squealed happily.

"Yes hobbits." said Treebeard, "Isengard is having another barbecue."

"Ooh! Ooh! Can we go pleeeeaaaase?!" begged Pippin.

"No, silly hobbits. Sauraman is allergic to hobbits."

"Really? But I thought the orcs that kidnapped us were trying to take us to him?" said Merry.

"Hmm, maybe it was supposed to be a April Fools day joke!" said Pippin.

"What? Killing Sauraman from an allergic reaction to hobbits?" said Merry.

Pippin looked taken aback.

"Merry! You used the dreaded logic!" he screamed.

"Oh no! We must erase it immediately with acts of randomness and immaturity!" yelled Merry.

Pippin then began hopping around like a bunny while singing "Don't Cha" at the top of his lungs while Merry did the Irish jig while chugging down barrels of root beer.

Treebeard stared at them and started to slowly back away from the crazy hobbits.

"I am Zant! King of the Twilight Realm! And my butt is itchy!" yelled Pippin.

"Shrimp! I like shrimp! Give me shrimp!" screamed Merry.

"Hobbits! Hobbits! Calm down! Uncle Treebeard's going to tell you a story." said the ent.

"Yey! Story time!" the hobbits cheered.

"Okay, um...once there was a little hobbit, just like you." began Treebeard.

"Like meeeee?" asked Pippin.

"No, I was actually talking about Merry."

Pippin pouted and crossed his arms.

"Anyway, this little hobbit was walking along in the woods until..."

Suddenly, Treebeard drifted off to sleep and began snoring loudly.

"Hey Merry! We should go to Sauraman's barbecue and see if he could get us each a pet penguin!" suggested Pippin.

"Okay!" agreed Merry.

"Onward to leprechaun!" yelled Pippin before skipping happily towards Isengard.

Suddenly, the sky went dark and the two hobbits found themselves in an unfamiliar clearing.

"Hey! Who turned off the lights?" asked Merry.

"Mommy! I don't wanna go to bed yet!" whined Pippin.

Then, a pale man with no face dressed in a tuxedo appeared before the hobbits.

"Greetings, I am Slender Man. I heard that you two had mistaken me for Voldemort, so I have brought you into my game to teach you two a lesson." he said menacingly.

"Ooh! A game? Do we get popcorn if we win?" asked Pippin.

Slender Man sighed, "Yes, you can get popcorn. Though I highly doubt you will win my game. I have given you each a flashlight, which will allow you to see and me to find you quicker. Your objective is to collect all eight pages that I have placed throughout the area. If I manage to catch you, well, then it's game over for you."

"Yey! Can we start playing now?" asked Pippin.

"Definitely."

"Can I call you Slendy?"

"Definitely not."

"Awww." whined Pippin.

"Farewell." And with that, Slender Man disappeared.

Pippin and Merry flipped on their flashlights and began hunting around for the eight pages.

"I found one!" yelled Pippin.

"Shhh! Pippin, not so loud!" hissed Merry.

"Hey, it looks like it's a page from his diary! 'Today I ate cabbage..."

Slender Man appeared and snatched the page out of Pippin's hands, replacing it with the proper page, his head glowing pink with embarrassment.

"Oh wait, nevermind, it says 'Look out'. Aw, I liked the first one better." said Pippin.

"Come on Pip, maybe we'll find one over by that truck over there." said Merry.

"Hey Slendy!" called Pippin, "You're name is no longer Slendy! It is Grasshopper! And Grasshopper it shall remain!"

"Hey Pip, I found another page! This one says 'Your face'. I think Slender Man's trolling us right now."

Suddenly, Merry heard a 'duh duh duh daaa!' sound in the distance. A few seconds later he saw Pippin running towards him with a sword in his hand.

"Look Merry! I found the Master Sword!" Pippin said happily.

Then the world started going all staticy and the hobbits saw Slender Man appear right in front of them.

"For Sparta!" screamed Pippin and he charged at Slender Man with the Master Sword in his hand.

Slender Man shrieked (wow, good job Pippin) and teleported away before Pippin could turn him into pork chops.

"No one talks about my second cousin three times removed on my mother's side like that!" yelled Pippin.

"Er, Pippin? The game?" said Merry.

"Squirrel!" screamed Pippin before bursting into giggles.

Merry sighed and dragged his friend over to a nearby building to look for more pages.

"Hey, it looks like a bathroom." said Merry.

Pippin suddenly lept to his feet.

"Really? Yes! I really need to pee." he said, accidentally running into the girl's washroom instead of the guy's.

"Hey Merry!" called Pippin from inside the bathroom.

"What?"

"There's no toilet paper in here! Could you pass me one of those pages?!"

"Wha? No!" said Merry.

"Fine, I guess I'll just have to use this piece of paper...hey! I found another page!"

Pippin ran out of the bathroom a minute later after he found a roll of toilet paper in the other stall and handed the page to Merry.

"Okay, that means, three down and five more to go." said Merry.

"Silly Merry, it's nine down and seven thousand one hundred and seventy-four to go." said Pippin.

Merry rolled his eyes and continued over to a tank, then to a tunnel where he found two more pages.

"Ten more pieces of the triforce left to find!" announced Pippin.

"Er, Pippin? It's called a TRI-force. That means three pieces." corrected Merry.

"But, Grasshopper has the fourth piece of the triforce." said Pippin.

Suddenly, the two hobbits found themselves tripping over something warm and sticky.

"Hey Merry! Look! Waffles!" said Pippin excitedly, taking a huge bite out of one of the syrupy waffles.

"Cool! Let's bring one back for Treebeard!" said Merry.

So, the two lifted one of the giant waffles and dragged it around with them.

"Jingle bells! Slendy smells! We found giant waffles! Three more pages left to find and then we get our popcorn!" sang Pippin.

"Nice song Pippin." said Merry.

"Thanks! It was in monochronic texture." replied Pippin.

Merry stared at him.

"How come you can't pass Kindergarten math, but you can pass eighth grade music?"

Pippin shrugged and took a vanilla milkshake out of his backpack.

"Milky Milkshake! Milky Milkshake. Milky Milkshake Dancing With My Milkshake!" sang Pippin at the top of his lungs.

"Pippin don't! He'll find us!" whispered Merry.

Pippin ignored him and began flicking his flashlight on and off at the sky like a signal.

"Oh Slendy Man! Where are you!" he sang.

"Pippin! No!"

Suddenly, Slender Man appeared directly in front of them.

"Game over for you little hobbits!" he said triumphantly.

Pippin screeched and threw the giant waffle at Slender Man, causing it to fall on top of him and trap him in the sticky syrup.

"Hey!" yelled Slender Man under the waffle, "No fair! The syrup is messing with my teleporting abilities!"

Pippin and Merry ran towards a gate that marked the end of the game's boundaries, Pippin slashing it open with the Master Sword. They then found themselves tumbling out into Fangorn Forest where Treebeard still lay asleep.

"Hey Merry? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Pippin.

"Yep." replied Merry.

"Okay, you find a giant feather and I'll go find a dinosaur!" said Pippin.

"I'm on it captain!" said Merry with a salute.

Then it started raining bacon.

"YEY! BACON!" cheered the hobbits, and they munched on bacon for the rest of the day.

Isengard

"Orc #4793!" yelled Sauraman, staring up at the sky, "Why are you using the magical upside-down barbecue?! The wind's blowing all of the food you're cooking out into Fangorn Forest!"

"I'm on strike!" Orc #4793 called.

"And why is that?!"

"You aren't giving us dental! My teeth look horrible!" wailed the orc.

"They're supposed to! You look scarier and more threatening that way!" yelled Sauraman.

"I still want dental!" pouted the orc.

"I want stickers!" yelled a different orc.

"WE WANT STICKERS! WE WANT STICKERS!" yelled the entire army of orcs.

Sauraman face-palmed.

"I hate my life." he sighed.