Chapter 3: Breakfast-in-Bed?

Julius sighed tiredly as he entered his chamber, rubbing his temple with his slender fingers. He just received some reports regarding the new maid from his masters, and they were pretty much satisfied. Except for ones she hadn't met yet.

After preparing his bed, he went out to the bathroom, and met his colleague.

"Oh, hello there, Monrey." Red gleamed in the dark; Sidney Black gave a curt nod to the steward. "How does the outfit works?"

Julius slowly approached the bathroom door while answering; "Quite well. I was worried about the combat function you've installed."

Sidney shrugged. "I did as well. Fortunately she had the basic; her body is quite athletic for a young lady. Plus, she's got some nice curves too." He chuckled darkly. "I'm sure she'll last longer than most peasants we've hired."

Julius gave him a blank stare, unimpressed. Sidney was quite cold-hearted; he was the castle's security master, the one who installed so many traps. Well, the King did hired him to make sure of his family's security, but Sidney…he went all out on everything.

"I don't want to say what we've done to her as 'hiring people'."

~.X.~

This was it. The second day of her stay to this crazy mansion.

Morning was spent running from a giant rolling rock.

"I am not Indiana Jones, I am not Indiana Jones; I AM NOT INDIANA JONES, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS CASTLE!?"

Alice wondered how it was even possible to build such a mansion with bobby traps, pit fall—how this rock did actually fits inside anyway!? That, she certainly did not want to learn.

She knew though, that it would be hard to escape and she knew the more she stayed the more likely she would get herself killed. The first day was a wreck enough. She was really lucky she even survived at this point.

"Oh wait—is that the front door!?" she gasped in hope and made a turn, while the rock went ahead. Panting, she ran with her hands going towards the grand door.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Freedom at la—WHAT THE—"

Suddenly, her body turned away from the door, out of her control.

"No…No, what the heck!? Why am I walking away—Oh right, I knew it! This freaking maid outfit! Nooo!" the young lady's scream echoed in the castle as she robotically walked away.

After dodging torrents of bullets, jumping away from landmines and doing awesome acrobatic moves from touching lasers, Alice once again found herself standing before the dining room.

"Goddammit." She mumbled as the door automatically opened.

The girl froze in instant.

A figure was lying in front of the door. His hand trembled as he tried to reach up for her.

"F…Food…give…me…" Boris groaned.

She'll think of how to escape later.

~.X.~

Thinking of something that's fast to cook, Alice went through the fridges and quickly took out some ingredients.

In a second, she was already flipping pancakes, turning bacons and serving sunny-side up eggs. The breads jumped out of the toaster, and she easily caught them with a plate on her hand.

"Breakfast ready!" Alice called out as she served the meal before the poor 'dying' teen.

She then twitched as she finally noticed that Boris was staring at her with his mouth open.

"What?"

Boris suddenly took grips on her shoulders and glared straight into her eyes.

"I love you, you know that!? I love you! How did you do that!?"

The younger girl blushed, eyes wide in shock. What? Confession already? Oh, wait, that wasn't it, right?

"I…I just did?"

Boris sat down again with a happy sigh as he stabbed a series of bacons and stared at it.

"It was like magic! Whoosh! Whoosh! Swish! Flip! It's like magic! You cook like a magician!" Boris sobbed as he smiled lovingly to the bacon. "That was so beautiful! That was the most beautiful…most precious…most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life…" with that, he ended it by stuffing the whole bacons into his mouth.

A tear escaped Boris' eyes and he munched his breakfast.

Alice dropped a sweat.

"You're a food addict, huh?" she asked, and Boris nodded since his mouth was full. "I never thought that the way I cook is that amazing. I wonder what kind of maids you've had before…wait, never mind." Alice deadpanned.

The earlier maids probably were too frightened and died out of heart-attack from this castle.

Alice wondered if she'd die from cardiac arrest or something soon.

"Why don't you sit down and eat with me?" Boris offered.

"Oh, really? Thanks I was so hungry after all this…" Alice trailed off and glared at the already empty plates.

"Just kidding." Boris stuck out his tongue. "Pretty sure you'd get more chores in…" he glanced to the cuckoo-clock on the wall. "Three…two…one…"

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

And on cue, Alice gasped as her body moved back to the fridge.

"Wh-What!?" she found a paper was plastered on the fridge, and it was all the dishes she had to make for each persons.

Today's Menu: World's Dishes

Ace: Phillipines

Peter: English

Jokers: Japanese and Korean

…

The list goes on.

"If I'm not mistaken, your next chore is to cook for sixteen persons and serve them breakfast in bed." Boris said, tapping his chin.

Alice twitched. "What!?" she was taking out ingredients and started to chop off some chicken. "Sixteen crazy people in this huge castle!? Why don't they come down here instead of making me going through Death!?"

Boris stared at Alice as if she was crazy.

"What? That's too tiresome. Why do we have to get off our bed when a maid could just serve us breakfast in bed? I come down here because I'm too hungry to wait." He said, watching the girl expertly poured honey to the sauce.

"Crazy and lazy." Alice deadpanned as she finished the African dishes, and cooked India and Chinese foods with each hands she had.

Boris leaned his chin on his hand and smiled softly as he watched the lady cooked. The ingredients flew beautifully. Flour puffed like magic, and the way she splash the olive oil into the dough was just beautiful.

How could one make foods so beautiful?

~.X.~

Alice twitched as she stood at another familiar door. The Tweedles.

"Goddammit." She knocked the door. "Anyone in here? No? Okay, I'll just leave your breakfast here by the do—"

"MAID-CHAN~!" the door was slammed open, and the twins bursted out to give her a crushing bear hug.

"Come in~! Come in~!" Dee cheered while dragging the new maid into their weapon-filled room. Dum ran and jumped on his bed.

"Serve us! Serve us! Breakfast-in-bed! Breakfast-in-bed!"

"Okay, okay, stop dragging me, Dee!" Alice snapped and went to take out chilaquiles, a Mexican dish.

"Ay, ay!" Dum fell on his bed, eyes wide as he smell delicious fragrance from the tray. "Qué has cocinados por mí?" he gasped. "Es Eso Chilaquiles!? Ay caramba!"

Dee clicked his tongue while shaking his head; "Dein Spanischen ist schlecht!"

Alice could only watch as the twins were yelling at each other in Spanish and German.

"I'm so sick of your German stuff, shut up, Dee!"

"Well stop talking Spanish, Dum!"

"Contrariwise, you shut up first!"

"If you don't shut up first, nohow!"

Alice wiped her forehead. "Uh, so yeah. Das ist wurst und brotzen fur Dee, e chilaquiles para Dum."

The Tweedles gasped and went to hug the maid again.

"Maid-chan! You speak Spanish?" Dum gawked.

"Say more things in German!" Dee chirped.

The two froze and glared at each other.

"She had to speak in Spanish, nohow!" Dum yelled, pulling out a laser gun.

Alice twitched.

"Contrariwise, it fits her to speak German!" Dee argued, taking out an AK-47.

Okay, she decided it was time to…escape.

~.X.~

Breakfast trolley was heavy. Especially one filled with dishes made with recipes from around the world. And then there was Alice, who had to push it around while dodging traps.

That ain't easy.

"Can't I just let go off this trolley!?" she shrieked as she ran away from rapid laser coming from the walls. "Are these dishes more important than my life!?"

Suddenly her shoes screeched as she stopped in front of a room. A nameplate on the door read; Jokers

Alice groaned. "I don't like this." She then read the note and prepared to serve the Asian Cuisines. "This guy eats a lot! He asked Korean and Japanese!"

"Who the fuck said I eat a lot!?" the door was slammed open. "Don't you dare fucking imply that I'm fat, bitch!"

Alice could only stare at the man blankly. What? So he was that pervert from yesterday!

"Gimme my fucking breakfast already!" he snapped.

Alice sat down and started to eat the Soba Noodle. The man screamed.

"What the fuck!? Why are you eating my Soba you fucking bitch!?"

"I don't want to serve a perverted jerk!" Alice yelled back, pointing the chopsticks at the man threateningly. "Apologize!"

"What the fuck?"

"Or I'll eat your Soba!"

"What!? What kind of fucking peasant—" the man then paused. "Perverted jerk…?" he turned over his shoulder and yelled into the room; "WHIITE! GET THE FUCK HERE!"

Alice froze and stopped eating as another figure approached. She dropped her chopsticks and shivered.

It was the perverted jerk!? They were twins—what the—

"What is it? I was taking a bath, you know…?" the man whose name was apparently White, came behind his brother, only wearing a towel to cover his…under stuff. He noticed Alice, and brightened.

"Oh, hello there sexy." He greeted. "I still remember your plump ass. Why don't you come in and twerk for us?"

The other twin twitched and blushed, eyes wide. "What the fuck, White…That's so…Goddammit, I can't believe I'm your twin." He then composed himself and glared to the new maid, who was glaring to his Soba.

"See? I didn't fucking harass you. Now whatcha gonna do with my fucking Soba, bitch?"

"Uhh…I…uhh…" Alice was totally at lost for words. She could go back to the kitchen…but then her maid outfit won't go that way…

White chuckled. "Nevermind my grumpy brother~! Come in, come in!" without letting the new maid to respond, he already pulled her into their room, and the door was automatically closed. The pervert then took the Korean-flagged tray and gasped.

"Aww, Ramyun! My favorite~!" White cheered.

Alice's eyes were tainted in instance as she saw the whole room. Posters of porns, hentai, ecchi…everything on the wall was naked!

"I…um…I still have chores to do!" Alice yelped and was about to turn, but then the Grumpy one was right in front of her.

"My Soba. My fucking Soba, bitch!" he grimaced in wrath. "Clean my fucking room for now!" he yelled and pointed to the left side of the enormous room, which had more anime and manga posters.

'Grumpy!' she decided to name him in a flinch, and ran to where he pointed, not wanting to hurt her ears from more loud yells.

"Oh come on, Black! You're no fun…I was going to invite her for a Strip Poker…" White whined.

Black Joker, the grumpy twin, glared hard at him. "You don't know the suffering of my fucking stomach." He deadpanned.

~.X.~

Messy was an understatement; the Grumpy's room looked like as if it was just hit by a tornado—if there was anything else could be more cliché to explain it.

There were hundreds and tall stacks of mangas covering the floor. Anime DVDs scattered everywhere. It seemed very impossible to move without hitting one of the stacks or stepping on the DVDs.

Alice pondered and tried to move her body. Blasted. Julius didn't lie about the Voice Order Program which was installed in the cursed maid outfit. She had no choice but to do the Grumpy's command, huh?

"There's nothing else to do, I guess…" she sighed and stretched before starting to work. She looked around, and was surprised to see a cabinet in the corner of the room.

On the cabinet, an explanation was carved; These cabinets has been installed in every rooms in this castle to support cleaning services. Contains: plastic bags, broomsticks, mini vacuum-cleaner, etc.

"Well that's convenient." Alice twitched and examined the contains. She took some rubber gloves, and checked around the room again. There was an enormous, tall—but messy bookshelf in the room.

"Why can't he put back the books nicely!? Are all of them as lazy as Grumpy is?" she sighed and started to sort out the books.

First, she divided the mangas from serials and oneshots. Then, sorting them alphabetically, before finally grouping the books which had the same author. After that, she continued to clean up the bookshelf, taking a duster, a rag and anti-bacterial spray from the cabinet.

While cleaning it, she found some stuff and couldn't help but look. They were photos and small albums, along with trophies and action figures. One of the photos shocked her.

There, looking oh-so cute and innocent with big smiles, were the miniatures of pervert jerk and his cranky twin. And the two were also holding two cute cats…Wait a second…

"Those are lion cubs." Alice deadpanned. "Those are definitely not cats."

On the top of the bookshelf, (she had to climb on the shelf to do that) she found an old, dusty, big frame. It was there, as if Grumpy hid it on purpose. The frame had a photo that showed the members of the castle.

"There are more than sixteen people here!" she hissed. Maybe they didn't count the helpers…so maybe some of them aren't one of the 'masters', then?

That would be Julius…he stood beside a fragile old man who sat in a grand chair in the middle of the group. That's King Henry? Well, he did look like it…but he looked…sick.

She had met at least nine people, so there were ten more she hadn't met. Julius the Steward who kidnapped her, the Tweedles Maniacal Twins (they were grinning beside Boris, they seemed quite friendly in the picture), White and his twin…Grumpy (He looked so Grumpy getting his picture taken, while White was giving out sexy smile), the self-appointed God of Design Blood (who was looking so snob as if he couldn't accept having his picture taken with lowlives), the happy-go-lucky Inventor…Gowland something, and the pale chemical freak…Dreamy…no, Darkness…wait…Night—something.

The rest, Alice noted, they had different expressions on their face. Mostly bored or they seemed like despising the very union. There were so little of them who smiled. Then, she noticed that there was a woman a bit older than her in the picture.

"Wow she's so pretty!" she grinned, and finished wiping the dusty frame, carefully climbing down.

She made sure she had wiped all of the mangas, action figures and albums, and finally setting them back on the shelf, using the action figures and picture frames to decorated by her own taste.

Next, she sorted the DVDs, and then dusted the bed, fluffing the pillow, wiped all the dust, used the vacuum cleaner to clean the carpet. Finally, she opened the window to let fresh air came into the room, and sighed.

She didn't really know where she was in the castle, but looking outside, she seemed to be on the fifth floor. It was impossible to jump from there…not that her maid outfit would let her.

Alice sighed as she exited the room to the middle room and froze as she saw mature lions were sleeping on the carpets, glaring at her. However, the felines' glare couldn't match the wrathful glare of the Grumpy Joker, tapping his fingers on the table; he was reading this month's newest issue of Shonen Star.

"Uhh…I'm…finished…so…" she hoped those lions were tame, and stepped towards the exit.

"Took you fucking long enough, bitch." He deadpanned.

"Sorry. I'll be back with your Soba after I'm done serving the others…B-Bye…uh…Grumpy!" she escaped.

Black froze, and then glared to his lions.

"What the fuck did she just called me!?"

"Pfft!" White came out of his room, fully clothed, Playboy magazine in his hand. "Grumpy~ Aww she gave you a nick name! That is so sweet." He teased his brother, and then glanced to the room across his. "I wonder how she'd finished cleaning that room. It's as messy as Tartaros."

"Shut the fuck up." Black deadpanned and went to check his room.

~.X.~

Black Joker's eyes were wide as he entered his room. He wasn't expecting it to be…suddenly so spacious. It was so clean and comfortable—and with the breeze coming through the open window, it felt fresh.

He was more amazed by the view of his bookshelf. So neat and…and his action figures decorated it nicely. Just nice, not cute or too simple, they stood there as book holders.

First time he came to this castle, the room was empty, and he was too upset and ignorance about it, he'd just pile all the mangas in the room and tossed around his anime DVDs after he watched them, too lazy to put them back in place.

He only put albums and action figures on the shelf just to fill it. He hated this castle and the others who lived in here, but right then…

"What the fuck…" he muttered and unconsciously rubbed his feet on the mat which the maid had prepared to clean his feet. "Is this really my fucking room!?"

He looked around again, and then sat down on his bed, before finally lying down.

It felt fluffy and comfortable.

Black never thought that he'd ever consider any place in this castle as 'comfortable'. It felt like a jail most of the time.

At least…until today.

Bee: That was...all of my brain I've used for the Spanish and German stuff. Kill me if I'm wrong...wait, don't, please, I beg of you! *on her knees*

Cat: *giggles* I'm sure they won't kill for something like that, Bee... And hope you guys like it! *winks*