Fellowship of Insanity: Merry and Pippin Halloween Chapter!

I was hoping to get this update on Halloween, but I didn't end up getting around to it. Instead, this chapter ended up being two months late. Oops. :( Anyway, this is the Fellowship Of Insanity Halloween chapter! Yay!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord Of The Rings.

It's The Great Pumpkin Pippin Took

Treebeard and the two hobbits had finally reached to tower of Orthanc, where Sauroman lives, and were (supposed to be) plotting the best way to destroy the tower.

"Are we there yet?" whined Pippin.

Treebeard glared at him.

"WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR TEN FRICKIN' MINUTES ALREADY!" screamed the Ent, who had finally cracked after travelling with Merry and Pippin for too long.

"Woah, tree-man! Calm down. You're gonna scare away our prey." said Merry, a pair of binoculars pressed to his eyes.

"Yeah tree-man...thing!" said Pippin, "I'm hungry enough to eat Gandalf!"

Treebeard sighed.

"Remind me what the plan was again?" he asked, sitting down on a rock.

Merry and Pippin looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

"What?" asked Treebeard in bewilderment.

The two hobbits just laughed harder.

"Stop it!" yelled the Ent.

Merry and Pippin stopped laughing and wiped the tears of laughter out of their eyes.

"What plan?" asked Pippin.

Treebeard stared at them.

"You don't have a plan...do you?" said Treebeard.

"Yeah...nope!" said Merry.

"We just decided to wing it!" said Pippin.

Pippin turned to the tower of Orthanc.

"HEY SAUROMAN!" he yelled, "YOU SMELL LIKE MY AUNT TESSY!"

Suddenly, the doors on the balcony were thrown open and Saurumon stormed outside, along with Grima. However, once Grima spotted Pippin, he gave a girly shriek and ducked behind one of the open doors.

"Go away salesman! Careful master Saurumon, he might try to sell you something!" he whimpered.

"I'M SELLING PEANUT BUTTER!" yelled Pippin, "BUY IT OR DIE!"

Grima shuddered in fear.

"Oh, I knew I should have taken that position for Hogwarts potions teacher when I had the chance!" he wailed.

Then, Pippin's clone skipped out onto the balcony, clutching Pippin's blue blanky and sucking his thumb.

"Uncle Saurumon!" he whined, "I wanna eat an apple!"

Grima gasped.

"Naughty Pippin clone! You know that the Master's allergic to apples!" he said.

"Traitor!" yelled Pippin from the ground, "Apples are rubbish!"

Pippin's clone stuck out his tongue and skipped back into the tower.

"Throw the cheese!" yelled Pippin.

Suddenly, Treebeard's army of Ents lept out from behind the walls surrounding the tower and began lobbing bricks of cheese at it, which didn't really have much effect.

"This is SPARTA!" yelled Merry.

"Master! What should we do?!" wailed Grima.

Saurumon smiled goofily.

"Release the pandas!" he said, before taking a huge gulp of apple cider mixed with mustard.

Suddenly, the sky overhead grew dark, and a dense forest grew quickly around the tower. A pale figure stumbled out of the woods, dressed in a black suit still drenched in maple syrup.

"Finally I found you little twerps!" cackled Slender Man, "I think it's about time we had a little rematch, don't you think?"

"Well said brother." agreed another figure, stepping out of the fog. "I think its time these little hobbits learned a lesson."

"Slendy Man? Voldemort? Is that you?" asked Merry and Pippin.

"Yep! And this time, we brought you a little friend to accompany you!" said Slender Man.

Suddenly, Pewdiepie appeared with a flashlight.

"BARRELS!" he screamed, whacking at thin air with his flashlight.

"I don't get it." said Pippin.

"Please excuse him." said Voldemort, "Playing too many horror games kind-of took a toll on his sanity."

"Sweet! Best bros for life!" cheered Merry and Pippin, giving Pewdiepie a hug.

"BRO ARMY!" Pewdiepie yelled.

"Hey Voldemort! Why don't you have a nose?" asked Pippin.

"Oh my god Pippin! You can't just ASK people why they don't have noses!" scolded Merry.

"Alrighty then, I guess we'll leave you to it." said Slender Man, vanishing along with his brother, who glared at the hobbits before leaving.

"So," began Merry, "What are we supposed to do now?"

"MISTER CHAIR!" yelled Pewdie, hugging a random tree.

"Ooh! I know! I know!" said Pippin excitedly, jumping up and down.

"What?" asked Merry.

"We have to find the Great Pumpkin!" said Pippin.

Merry smiled. Then died randomly.

I'm kidding.

No seriously, he's not dead.

"That MUST be it!" agreed Merry, "Then we can make pumpkin pie out of it!"

At the mention of food, Pippin began jumping up and down really fast and began randomly break dancing in the middle of the forest.

"FOOOOOOOOOOD!" screamed Pippin.

Merry suddenly pulled a machine gun out of his pocket. Yes, his pocket.

"Let's hunt ourselves some pumpkin pie." said Merry in a Batman-like voice.

"PIE!" screamed Pewdie.

A few minutes later.

"I'm BORED!" yelled Pippin.

"Shhh!" hissed Merry.

The two hobbits and Pewdiepie were sitting in a random pumpkin patch they had found at the entrance to Orthanc. However, Merry seemed to be the only one actually doing anything productive, as Pippin was lying around in the pumpkin patch and Pewdie was stroking a pumpkin and calling it 'Jabba the hut'.

"They call you Jabba the hut!" sang Pewdie, as Pippin was throwing a silent temper tantrum.

Suddenly, a giant shadowy figure rose out of the patch.

"Eeek! It's the Vashta Nerada!" screamed Pippin.

"It's the great pumpkin!" screamed Merry, shooting it with the machine gun.

"OW!" yelled the shadow, "What the hell?! It's me! Slender Man, you idiots!"

"Oh, sorry Slendy!" said Pippin cheerfully.

Slender Man muttered threats under his breath as he glared at the hobbits.

"That's it! I hate this game! I'm retiring!" yelled Slender Man.

In a rage, Slender Man randomly grew to a gigantic size and started bashing the tower with boulders.

"Yay! Destruction time!" cheered Pippin.

"Slendy Man needs anger-management classes." said Merry, staring up at Slendy.

"I'm gonna help uncle Slendy smash things!" squealed Pippin excitedly. He ran over to the dam in the middle of the river.

"Yay! Water fight!" squeaked Pippin, pulling a stick out of the dam.

Suddenly, the entire dam collapsed, and water gushed everywhere, sweeping the hobbits and Pewdiepie into a food storage room.

"Look Merry!" squealed Pippin, "Food!"

"BARRELS!" screamed Pewdie, swimming away from the storage barrels.

"Oh food! I love you food! You make my life complete!" sighed Pippin happily, hugging a barrel full of bananas.

"This is great Pip!" said Merry, "Now we can catch up on all of those meals we missed!"

"Like second breakfast?"asked Pippin.

However, Merry already had his face in a giant barrel of whipped cream.

Pippin opened one barrel and looked inside.

"Hey Merry! I found a barrel full of tea leaves!" said Pippin excitedly.

"Uh, Pip. Those aren't tea leaves..." said Merry, but Pippin had already dumped out the contents of the barrel into the water.

"Make me tea!" Pippin ordered at the water swirling at his feet.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of horses outside, and a familiar wizard's voice...

"GANDALF!" Merry and Pippin squealed in sync.

The two hobbits ran outside and tackled Gandalf.

"Gandalf! Gandalf!" they said happily.

"Arg!" yelled Gandalf, "Get these two rabid children off me!"

"Gandalf it's us! Merry and Pippin!" said Merry.

Gandalf did a double-take, then screamed.

"Oh hell no! Not you two again!" he yelled.

Pippin gasped.

"Gandalf got a horsey!" he squealed, jumping onto the horse.

"Pippin Took! Give me back my horse!" yelled Gandalf.

"What did you call your horsey Gandalf?" asked Pippin.

"His name's Shadowfax." said Gandalf.

"No it's not! His name's Susan! And he wants you to respect his life choices!" yelled Pippin.

Gandalf face-palmed.

"Yay! Giddy-up pony!" squealed Pippin, riding away with Gandalf's horse.

"Yo Merry!" said Aragorn, pulling up beside Gandalf along with Legolas, Gimli and King Theoden.

Merry blinked.

"And you are?" he asked.

"I'm King Frickin' Aragorn! The most badass man to ever live!" said Aragorn.

Legolas looked around.

"Ugh! This place is totes horrible!" he complained, "I mean, just LOOK at all that dirty water!"

Gimli nodded in agreement, then when Legolas looked away, he grinned evilly and shoved him off his horse.

"Eeek!" screeched Legolas as he fell into the muddy water.

Gimli laughed, then rode after the others to the tower.

Saurumon was sitting on the roof of Orthanc, playing Battleship with Grima.

"Yay! I sunk your rabbitship!" squealed Saurumon happily.

"Great job Master! But, uh, it's 'I sunk your battleship', not 'rabbitship'." explained Grima.

"Do not question the great and powerful pear!" bellowed Saurumon.

"Saurumon!" Gandalf yelled from the ground.

"Jerry? Is that you?" asked Saurumon curiously, peeking over the edge of the tower.

"No, I'm Gandalf." said Gandalf in confusion, "Are you alright?"

"No! I'm Tony Stark!" scoffed Saurumon.

Gandalf face-palmed.

Grima crawled over to the edge of the tower.

"I'm so sorry sir." he said, "Master isn't feeling his best, perhaps you could come by some other time?"

"No!" whined Saurumon, "I wanna have my tea party of death now!"

Grima smiled nervously at Saurumon, than whispered, 'Help', to the crowd on the ground.

"Oh hell no!" said Legolas, snapping his fingers in a z-pattern, "There is no way I'm letting you hang out with me! I'm waaayyy too popular! I'm a cover-girl!"

Grima sighed.

"I always wanted to be a cover-girl," he said dreamily, flicking his greasy hair.

"Well," said Gandalf, "I guess there's no use staying here any longer. I'm sure Saurumon won't cause any more trouble. He seems perfectly harmless now!"

Suddenly, Saurumon picked up his palantir and chucked at Gandalf, which missed and instead knocked Pippin off Gandalf's horse.

"Thanks." said Gandalf.

Saurumon responded with a hand wave and spouts of gibberish.

"Ooh, cheeeeeesseeeeecaaaaakkkkkeeee." said Pippin groggily before passing out.

"Ooh! Pretty marble!" said Legolas, referring to the palantir, "Can I keep it? Pretty please?"

"I think, since I'm the most awesome one here, that I should keep the marble." said Aragorn.

"Ooh! Is it worth a lot of money? Can I sell it for a lot on Ebay?" asked Gimli, reaching for the palantir.

"Don't be ridiculous!" said Gandalf, "It's completely worth less!"

The three groaned and turned their attention back to the insane Saurumon, who was tap dancing as he sang the troll song. Gandalf picked up the palantir in his robes and stroked it.

"My precioussss." he hissed creepily.

"I'm BORED!" yelled a conscious Pippin from the water.

Gandalf rolled his eyes.

"Well," said King Theoden, "I'm done here. I better get home soon! I have to take my pills and have a long nap."

"Awww, the precious elderly." said Aragorn mockingly.

Theoden then punched him in the face.

"Ow! My kingly nose!" wailed Aragorn.

"Bye bye!" said Saurumon, waving goofily.

"No wait! Come back! Take me with you! Don't leave me here!" wailed Grima.

"Yay! Friends forever!" squealed Saurumon happily, hugging Grima.

"I hate my life." sighed Grima.

"You and me both." agreed Slender Man, appearing on the top of the tower.

"Blue blanky!" giggled Pippin Clone happily, hugging Pippin's fuzzy blanky.