Audio monkeys! May I have your attention! This chapter too longer then I thought. I will be honest, I didn't know what to write about what Kevin was feeling or his emotions were. Let me tell you, it was hard to write this chapter which is why its a little short then the other chapters, but its something right? So its based on Kevin's emotions and his walls that he built have finally broke down, but doesn't realize that he goes into the safety of someone's arms. Who those arms does he goes to? Who is there to comfort him? Use your eyes to find out.

I do not own Castle! I wish, but I don't.

So here is chapter 5! I'll be writing chapter 6 tonight and it will be posted tomorrow afternoon.

Have fun you audio monkeys!

Chapter 5: Safety in Arms

Morning came too soon for Detective Kevin Ryan; he groaned at the bright sunlight shining through the window and rubbed his tired eyes. His vision was blurred for a moment, he blinked a couple of times and his vision became clear. His eyes widened and realized he wasn't in his apartment. He was still at Castle's apartment. He slowly looked around and slowly got up from the couch and looked around. The kitchen and living area was completely deserted. He scrunched his eyebrows together and wondering why he was still at Castle's apartment and trying to figure out what happened last night. He rubbed the back of his neck and recalled his thoughts about last night. Alexis. He paused and stopped rubbing his neck. Alexis. His eyes widened and looked up towards the stairs and he whispered her against his lips. "Alexis." He quickly got up from the couch and ran up stairs. He tripped over his own feet, but recovered quickly and ran towards Alexis' room. He ripped the door open and he sighed in relief when he saw Alexis curled up in the covers of her bed and peacefully sleeping. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath that he was holding in and leaned against the door frame. The thoughts about last night came back as the light of day. Ashley, the stalking, the calls, hearing her voice filled with fear, the whole thing just makes him think the worst case scenario. 'What if he didn't make it time. What if he was too late?' His hands turned into fists and he clenched them tightly. He knows he needs to stop thinking about the worst case scenario; it's not healthy for him and for his mind. It's driving him crazy, it's going to make him crazy and he doesn't know how to get rid of these thoughts. He opened his eyes and glanced at a peaceful sleeping Alexis. She's so beautiful when she sleeps, he notices that she took off her jacket and sees her black satin tank top and saw one of the straps had slipped off her shoulder. He felt his throat close and his palms started to sweat. He needs to get out of here. He needs to leave before he does something he might regret. He quietly, but quickly walks away from Alexis' room and quickly walks down the stairs. Hoping Castle didn't hear him come running down the stairs, he quickly walked over to the couch and grabbed his jacket. All Ryan wants to do is go come and take a nice long cold shower to wash away all of the thoughts he was having a battle with. He reaches into his pockets and he couldn't find his keys. He sighs in frustration and throws his jacket onto the couch.

"Kevin?" He snaps his head towards the stairs and saw Alexis sluggishly coming down the stairs still half asleep and half awake, she still has on her black sweatpants, but the sweater was missing. Ryan looked away from Alexis' gorgeous figure and rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous matter.

"What happened last night? I don't remember." Alexis steeped off the last step and looked at Kevin with a confused expression.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember getting your call and arresting Ashley and seeing you were unhurt, but I don't remember anything else after that." Alexis nodded, but still confused. She slowly approached him and she took in the sight she was seeing. Dark circles were under his baby blue eyes, his posture was slumped, he look a little skinny like he hasn't been eating in awhile and his posture does look like frail cat as Beckett pointed out last night. Alexis became worried about Kevin. She has no idea what he's been through. From what she found out from her dad last night, Jenny broke off the engagement because she couldn't stand being a cop's wife and doesn't want to raise a child without a father. She was horrified last night about the news; she wonders why her dad didn't tell her when she was still in college. Her dad told her he didn't want her distracted from her studies. It explains why he hasn't slept in days maybe even weeks or months. As she walks closer to Kevin, she sees him get all tense and he clenched his fists tightly and started to shake. Alexis puts her hand gently on his shoulder for comfort, but she could still feel him tense up at her touch. He avoided eye contact with her trying to not show fear or weakness in his eyes.

"Kevin?" He glanced at her and sees her eyes wide in concern. "How long have you not been sleeping?" He light shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't remember."

"When was the last time you ate a good meal besides last night?" Again he lightly shrugged his shoulders not knowing the answer.

"I don't remember." Alexis sighs sadly and moves closer to him. They were now chest to chest close and Kevin could not comprehend what's happening in front of him. He finally at Alexis and made eye contact with her baby blue eyes. Tears started to develop in his eyes which blurred his vision, but didn't have the courage to wipe the tears. Alexis cupped his cheek in her other hand and wipes the tears away with the pad of her thumb.

"Let it out." She cups his other cheek with her other hand and he closes his eyes as the tears continue to fall. The walls were finally down and Kevin could finally open up to someone. Alexis pulls him into a hug as he continues to cry softly and silently. His shoulders started to shake violently and buried his face into her shoulder. He wraps his arms around her waist and starts to pull her down as his legs gave in. Alexis steady her and Kevin on the couch, she was sitting on the couch, but Kevin was kneeling on the floor with his arms wrapped around her waist and his head now buried into her stomach. She started to run her fingers through his hair gently scratching his scalp; she could feel him relax into the embrace. She hears him let out a choked sobs and tightens his arms around her midsection. Alexis could feel her own tears develop as she watches Kevin breaking down. She shushes him and gives him comforting words. She now sees the real Kevin not just Detective Kevin Ryan, but she sees the human side of Kevin. Kevin's sobs echoed throughout the apartment as she continues to gently run her fingers through his hair. Kevin was never to admit to weakness, but after last night's events and the lingering thoughts, he knew he couldn't take it anymore. However, he felt the comfort from Alexis and he finally relaxed and let himself go. He felt safe in Alexis' embrace, she wouldn't judge on what he was feeling. He knows that, he felt safe. He finally felt safe.