Alicia

Since her last encounter with Will; she couldn't quite describe it but she felt different, light, on air, happy. It wasn't as though both men were completely irrelevant to offering her both, but with Will it was different, they shared history, he identified with her in many ways, knowing her was like breathing to him; he didn't have to reach a mountain peak in order to know what she was feeling, he could comprehend her emotions in a matter of seconds, that was the difference in contrast to Finn.

That could possibly be a good metaphor in order to explain her feelings towards Chicago, the city that she had grown up in, the outskirts of it that prolonged many fond memories. It had only been a week since her arrival but all the fine details of herself started to slip away, restoring back somewhat of the girl that she used to be, before she had the desire to change.

She was reluctant in admitting it, bearing in mind, the need to travel back home, but coming to the realisation that she was more fond of the girl who lived here rather than the individual she was back in Washington, had hit her with a wave of panic.

Maybe, it was Will, maybe she was losing all senses, but she didn't want to lack any more insight than what she already was, she didn't want to seem as though she were a foreigner to her own body, performing two different characters, one that was engaged to her boyfriend of three years, one that was sketching some type of relationship with her first love from a decade ago.

First love was so much of a layman's term to her, even though its symbol was so sharp, she didn't understand it, Will was the first boy she had ever truly loved, but she couldn't define why people would refer to him in such a cliché allegory. It only made things more awkward between them than it needed to be. She sighed, exhausted from her boiling emotions, drained by her overflowed mind, and desolated from the fact that she needed to get back home, as soon as possible, even though her heart told her otherwise.

Having her suitcases packed on top of her bed, she sat on the edge with her hands entwined and her eyes gazed towards the ground. "Do you really have to leave? You've only been here for a week" Liz's voice brought her back to reality.

"Yes" she stated confident "I have to. Finn misses me."

"Finn misses me" she mocked with a whine to her voice, causing Alicia to chuckle. As Liz sat beside her, she kept her gaze towards her hands.

"What about me?" Liz pouted, "What am I going to do without you?" she grinned,

Alicia couldn't help but chuckle before nudging Liz's shoulder. "You'll live…. And you can always come up for holidays like last time, plus, there's the wedding in six months. You're my maid of honour, you have to come"

Rolling her eyes amusingly, Liz flopped against the bed followed by Alicia joining her as they stared towards the ceiling. Many memories surfacing to Alicia's mind as she could recall the times she and Liz done this as kids. A comfortable silence filled, until Liz spoke up.

"What about Will?"

Sighing, she shook her head "There's nothing there anymore Liz"

"Oh yeah? Is that why you're going to visit him this afternoon for a third time?"

"I'm visiting him because he asked," she corrected "And I can't just leave without a goodbye, not after the time we spent over the weekend."

"Exactly."

"What?"

"The time you spent over the weekend" she raised a brow "This isn't temporary Alicia, you're never going to get over him because he matters too much, come on, admit it, Chicago is always going to remind you of him, it's just natural"

"What's natural is having a relationship that means something, in the future." she started to shuffle off the bed "Will and I will never work, because we hold too much history and bad timing; that's not natural Liz, that's life."

"Yes, but don't you want to be happy for the rest of your life?"

"Finn does make me happy, and I thought you liked him?... You definitely hated Will when we were kids."

"Well I had my reasons," she defended "Look, I like Finn, but I don't think he can make you as happy as Will can."

Alicia paused at a halt from her words and felt herself tense, happiness. Apparently, that was valued to be the most important thing in life, but as far as the eye could see, Alicia wasn't her mother, she wasn't going to make life changing decisions based on the perspective of the woman who held the most differences over her.

Leaving it at that, Liz left her alone to medal on her thoughts whilst she searched for a suitable attire for the afternoon, choosing a pair of simple, long, smooth skinny jeans, and a navy blue t-shirt whilst throwing on her Elie Tahari creamy brown coat that suited the whether outside, wet and rainy. Slipping into a pair of high heels she left the house. The anticipation was exhilarating, the past four days had been excruciating, and the smile that played on her lips suggested that she had been waiting, years, just to see him again.

Will

Admitting that the past four days were the slowest of his life would be considered an understatement. Between Alicia's face constantly shadowing his mind and endless depositions at work and court cases, he felt like his life was about to start as he awoke that Friday morning.

Letting it all sink in, he hadn't even noticed Alicia's presence on the front porch, startling him as she let herself in through the front door. "You nearly gave me a heart attack" he sighed

Taking in her appearance, he smiled smugly to himself, meeting her gaze and her raised eyebrow, he laughed. "No dress today?"

"Funny Gardner, you look nice too, not to mention smug"

Shaking his head in amusement, he handed her a few dish cloths. "Make yourself useful and set the table outside will you? I hope you're hungry, I made pasta."

"Is it edible?" she said as she walked out onto the front porch.

"Haha" he rolled his eyes, grinning.

"You're spoiling me Will, seriously, where on earth did you grasp the confidence to cook?" she grinned, shaking his head in amusement, he handed her a glass of wine.

"I believe you aren't one to talk Alicia, I can distinctively remember that morning you burnt toast and nearly set your mother's kitchen on fire."

Bursting into full laughter as she set the dishes on the table, she shook her head "Oh god, I remember that, I think I did it purposely just so I could piss her off, granted, I do remember the argument I shared with her that night."

"I remember there being many arguments between you two, it hardly ever stopped."

"Teenagers" she snorted "So juvenile" she rolled her eyes, grinning.

"We were like hell weren't we?" he questioned, smirking over at her as she lightly shook her head

"I was like hell" she corrected, "You were well-mannered and pleasant, you still are I guess, like the calm after the storm."

The calm after the storm. Wasn't that one sentence to describe Will's childhood, and it was nothing than the mere doing of both his parents combination and hard work; he found it gratifying that Alicia's lack of struggle towards recalling it was a significant role in her life. Continuing with their conversation, the moment finally came where they finished eating, Alicia's plate still half empty and her stomach just recently consumed a half a bottle of wine, he admired her talk about anything and everything with him. They laughed, they paused, they gazed into each other's eyes, followed by the awkwardness surge and having to start up another conversation.

It was a pattern, and it played out like this for hours, though he couldn't deny his favourite part was the pause, and admiring the way she stared at him, admiring the way her eyes fell soft as she gazed into his, admiring the way they could sit there for hours, without saying a word, and just simply, stare into each other's eyes like lovers. Even though she was reluctant to admit it, he was fine with it; staring into her green hazel-like eyes as the sun reflected through it gave him a sense of piece, as if everything he had done in the last ten years was worth it.

"You were always bossy when we were together," he retorted, they had been challenging each other on it for the last twenty minutes, and even though Will enjoyed a good debate, in fact, he lived for it but with Alicia, he was starting to consider himself a looser, it caused him to wonder what she was like in court.

"No, I was, opinionated, there's a difference."

"Opinionated, demanding, stubborn, irritating…" he trailed off

"Okay, Okay, I get it." she rolled her eyes, and smiled. He noticed that it wasn't the smile that managed to make the world stop but it still concluded his wonder in what was going on in that little head of hers.

A comfortable silence soon filled, he took another sip of wine from his glass whilst she poked at her food with a fork. Keeping his gaze down, he had to catch onto her next words.

"It was real wasn't it?" glancing up at her, he grasped the small smile that played on her lips as she had her elbows rested on the table, staring at him, innocently through her eyes. She continued.

"You and I….. We really loved each other didn't we?"

Gazing at her, unsure to what her purpose was in this sudden topic of conversation, he nodded his head gradually as a response, and glanced down, knowing that there was no going back now.

"It was such a long time ago," she shrugged "We were just a bunch of kids, crazy about each other." she shook her head, smiling as she regained the memories.

Feeling his heart pulsate in short beats, he found the courage to eye her up and down, she had her eyes placed downwards but he could easily recognise her desire to meet his.

"We were." he agreed with a firm nod "We were crazy about each other, and it was probably the best months of my life."

Taking in the slow curl to her lips as she glanced down with heat pooling in her cheeks, he couldn't help but smile himself.

"However, I do recall promising you the other day a game of baseball" he quickly changed the subject, knowing that there would most likely have been an awkward silence.

Shaking her head, she displayed her arms up in defence "Oh no Will, really, I don't think that's necessary."

Knowing that he had already made his mind up, he stood "Oh come on, you'll be fine. Why don't you take our dishes inside and I'll head over to the garage and get the gear out." leaving her no chance to object, he ran off towards the side of the house, smirking to himself as he heard her call him a 'stubborn ass' on his way.

Returning back, he set the gear on the free space of grass that viewed out into the lake, noting the sun set and the dark night already returning he moved off into the inside of the house to find Alicia wiping the sink clean as she had just washed the dishes.

"Well?" he questioned "What are you waiting for? It's getting dark."

Rolling her eyes she threw the cloth into the sink and sighed "Will, I haven't touched one of those things in years, seriously, I might hit an eye out."

"I'm appalled Cavanaugh! Those things have names you know!"

Giggling across from him, she shook her head in amusement before making her way outside, leaving her heels and coat in the living room, they reached outside, the side porch once again and he watched as she carefully pulled her sleeves up, preparing for the war that was about to come.

Alicia

The situation was ridiculously funny, the last time she had touched a baseball bat was with Will, and yet, here they were, in the exact same position, same anxiety coursing through their veins, same jolt of electrician as they touched for the briefest moments, same expression in each other's eyes.

Gazing up towards the sky, she felt small spits of water fall above her, she had assumed hours ago that the rain had subsided, clearly, she was misjudged. "I'm over here Leesh, not up there" she heard Will complain, causing her to throw him a glare.

She sighed, and allowed the bat fall to the ground, she shook her head "Come on Will, it's starting to rain, my hair is going to get wet!"

"Will you just stop being a princess? The Leesh I know wouldn't turn down an opportunity to run around in mud and play in the rain."

"Yeah, well, the Leesh you know is long gone."

"Yeah yeah, pick up the bat and prove it to me."

"Will" she sighed, shaking her head "This isn't me" her eyes replaced from irritation into grief. Shaking her head in disappointment as she threw the baseball glove away. His eyes followed the flying glove before he turned back at the sound of her voice.

"I don't do this anymore Will. We're not teenagers, I can't just run around in the rain and act like nothing else in the world matters. I don't want to do this."

Watching as his eyes fell into recognition as well as astonishment, he shook his head baffled. "Something tells me that this isn't about the fact that you don't want a game Leesh"

Leesh. When had he found the confidence to call her old nickname again? He had been referring it all afternoon and she loved it, but it was still foreign to her, the way the word slipped off his tongue like a taste of honey was beautiful and alien.

"Can you just stop calling me that!" she yelled, frustration crowded her expression.

"What? Leesh?"

"Yes! I'm not seventeen years old anymore Will, and we aren't back in time. This is getting out of control"

"What's getting out of control?" he looked utterly confused which unsettled her. Was she really the only one recognizing it? They were getting closer and closer by each hour, if it weren't so consuming, they would have ended up in bed together hours ago.

Having to yell through the oncoming rain, she gestured around them. "This. Everything. You and I. Us. It HAS to stop!"

"What has to stop? Our friendship?" he wore a look of pain, as if the last sentence had cut through his chest like a sharp knife.

Instead of answering his question, she shrugged and chose her ultimatum instead, the statement she was supposed to confess hours ago. "I'm going back to Washington tomorrow Will"

"What?" he said through the rain.

Moving a few steps closer, she yelled once again. "I said, I'm going back to Washington tomorrow!"

Watching his face fall, was sure to be one of the most painful sights she had ever witnessed, it was as though a wave of trauma had just hit him, and that his entire world was ending in that moment with the internal war that was approaching.

"Wh… what? Why?" he stuttered

"Because" she shrugged "Like I said…. This is getting out of control."

"So you do have feelings for me?" glancing up at him, expecting to meet his smug smile, she met the sight of his eyes, wretched in pain mixed with hope. Having no idea how to respond, she opened her mouth, then closed it again before opening it.

"I…. I don't know" she whispered

"Alicia. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? This is killing me right now." His voice began to tremor, if it weren't for the rain, she wouldn't have noticed the tears that began to well up in his eyes.

She glanced towards the ground, shame and disappointment coursing through her veins.

"You have been on my mind for the last ten years!" feeling her ears perk up and her eyes wide in utter astonishment she popped her head up to face his, which only displayed pain and honesty.

Ten years.

Been on his mind for the last ten years.

That couldn't possibly be true could it? That would mean-

"I never loved anybody after you, I don't even think that's possible anymore. You were all that was in my head at Harvard, you're still in my damn head. You think if I could stop these feelings I would? I have been repressing my need to see you for years, just to get a solitary look at what you were was everything to me."

Feeling her heart beat faster and faster with every hammer against her chest, she couldn't tear her eyes away from his and she also couldn't find the strength to speak.

"This isn't old feelings surfacing back because of parting from an old friend. This is real, and this is me, spewing my guts out to you in which you're just standing there!"

He sighed, running a hand through his wet hair, he shook his head in defeat.

"You are the love of my life Alicia, I lost you once, but I don't think I'd be able to do it again.. I can't" he shook his head "I'm fed up with being polite, I can't keep acting like you're not feeling what I'm feeling at the moment because we both know, there's only enough water under the bridge to wash everything away. We are over when you can look me in the eye and say that you don't feel anything towards me. Look me in the eye, and say it." he sounded demanding and yet, there was a tone in the clarity of his voice, a softness to it and also a desperate plea to get her attention.

"Please, god, just say something!" he was growing frustrated, it was understandable, she guessed, until her eyes fell on his lips.

The anticipation to touch it, to rekindle what his lips tasted like, to cascade the taste of pure Will, to have old memories of them making out in his truck at seventeen years old, to have it resurface through her mind. She began to breathe heavily as her mind started spinning and her heart started racing. Her gaze followed the line along his mouth, the rain that was dripping all over his face, she bolted forth.

And kissed him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck and closing her eyes, she felt his tongue clash with hers and all defense's crash around them.

It was amazing to recognize the reality that your first love's lips still tasted the same after so many years away from each other. Bitter sweet and wonderful.

She ran a hand through his wet hair, and in return, he pulled her closer entwined his fingers with locks of her hair. She moaned under his touch, and squeezed him tight, savoring the moment, and ignoring the pouring rain above them.

Letting him walk her backwards towards the porch door without pulling away from each other's embrace, she opened the door with her freehand whilst he pushed them inside, pushing her against the wall, eliciting a moan under her breath, he lifted her so that she wrapped her legs around his waist and let her pull her soaked, wet t-shirt from above her head discarding it on the floor without breaking their lips apart. Carrying her all the way up the stair case, she occupied herself by leaving small kisses along his shoulder as he used his eyes to find the bedroom. As soon as they hit the bed she felt small feathers from the blankets blow around them causing her to chuckle lightly against his lips.

Roaming her hand under his t-shirt she pulled it off him, causing their lips to lose a few inches before she discarded it somewhere across the floor. Cupping his face as their tongues entwined yet again, she happily let him pull her singlet up, over her head followed by her bra. Feeling soft kisses go from her neck to her breast she toyed with the front part of his jeans and used the tip of her toes to shrug them off, letting them spill to the ground. His lips found hers once again and it was the most enjoyable sensation, then again it abruptly stopped as he pulled away, sitting up causing her to moan in the loss of contact. He made eye contact with her, as he carefully, removed her jeans. It was a slow movement, she had to desperately restrain herself from having to shrug them off completely. Then she watched as he threw the jeans to the ground before he pressed his lips against her ankle and roamed his hands along her calf muscles.

Resuming back to his previous position as he pressed his lips to hers, she was panting and breathing deeply beneath him, carefully shrugging her panties off while she played with his boxer shorts, they both assisted each other in shrugging them off.

Letting her eyes fall on his passionate, loving facial expression, the heavy rain outside overpowering his heavy breathing, she cupped his face and brought it up to meet hers. Watching as a look of concern washed over his face, she smiled reassuringly as she reached up to place a soft, gentle kiss against his lips.

No words needed to be spoken, each emotion, each feeling was portrayed with every passionate kiss they shared. Each kiss was more than anticipated, each touch gave her a tingling feeling, each gaze into one another's eyes was a wave of reality, that what they were doing was so much more than just sex.

With an idea coming to mind, she sat them both up into a sitting position, straddling his lap and sinking deeply into him, eliciting both strong moans, she gazed deeply in his eyes, the same amount of love mirroring each other's and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck, savoring the moment, her eyes never left his and their lips were like glue, stuck to each other's.

After so many years, she still loved him.

A/N I apologize for the long wait. My timetable hasn't lessened anytime soon, but i promise to update frequently when i can. I hope I fixed it for you, though this doesn't necessarily mean that Will and Alicia are going to ride off into the sunset together anytime soon, hang in there! Thanks again.