A/N: My betas are Goddesses: SSHG316, Charmie77, acireamos and Savage Woman. They make TLC so pretty, I don't recognize my own writing sometimes. I want to especially thank them all this time for laboring over this long chapter, which will come in two parts because I refused to push them to work on anymore of my fiction on their weekend. I take enough of their family life from them through the week. My goal is to never have them working on Friday or Saturday nights anymore. Thank you all for tirelessly helping me in my writing.
See info about SSHG316's new story in my E/N below! You'll be glad you did ;)
Terrors overwhelm me; my dignity is driven away as by thewind, my safety vanishes like a cloud. – Job 30:15 NIV
TLC - Chapter 20 - Wild Is The Wind, Part 1
BPOV
After running five miles, Bella and Edward devoured the rest of the chocolate-covered strawberries, along with a large portion of the spinach quiche she'd made for their breakfast on the morning of Memorial Day. While Edward was showering, Bella called to remind her friends that she wanted them to come to the family barbecue at her parents' home that night. It was a given that Angela and Ben would be there, but she wanted to include Emmett, Rosalie and the Whitlocks, as well. Bella was still terrified of telling her father that she was seriously dating a man whom he would describe in his astute, seminarian's way as possessing no faith center. Deciding that there was strength in numbers, she wanted as many of her friends as possible to be there.
Edward was right. She was afraid to tell her dad about him, because his opinion mattered so deeply to her. In every discussion they'd ever had from her youth until early adulthood, her father had cautioned her to guard her heart against people who did not share her faith, and that in not doing so, she could harm herself in the long run. But when the rubber met the road, how could she really instruct her heart to steer clear of someone who had captured her heart so completely and was well on the way to being the source that gave her heart a reason to keep beating?
Alice and Jasper promised they would make an appearance after they spent a good portion of the day with her parents. Alice, in turn, reminded Bella that she and Edward needed to make an appearance at her parents' home, too. Elizabeth would be there, and Alice was afraid that Edward might not make the effort to see her on the holiday otherwise. Edward's relationship with his mother was still shaky, at best, and Bella wanted to do everything she could to encourage a continuing dialogue between them.
Rosalie assured Bella that if good food was involved, Emmett would definitely be up for it. They were going to be at his parents' earlier in the day in Crawfordville, so a later time for everyone to get together was definitely doable. Bella wondered fleetingly if her parents had invited the Halls. Her last interaction with James had involved a drunken encounter on her doorstep. And lately, her life was so busy that she had not taken the time to check in on him to see how he was doing. However, communication ran two ways, and if he'd really wanted to talk to her, he could have called. She sincerely hoped that he was getting over the pain from all that had transpired between them and was moving back in the direction of regaining his emotional stability.
Edward emerged from the shower clad only in a towel, and despite having had two very heavy make-out sessions with him in the last twenty-four hours, seeing him semi-clothed set her throbbing with need for him yet again. Had she become some kind of virgin nymphomaniac or something? Was there really such a thing, particularly of the virginal variety? Maybe she was an orgasm addict now. Edward was so skilled, he could almost get her off by looking at her in a certain way, and when he added his lips and his hands, all bets were certainly off.
It was good that she was lounging on the bed, because her breathing had gone from languid to labored in a matter of seconds. She was sure her legs were Jell-O by now, so walking away from the temptation was not an option. Her eyes greedily devoured his physique as he pulled out a drawer and assembled some articles of clothing to wear. His back was a sea of rippling muscle across his shoulders and sleek from his shoulder blades to his waist. The only things that marred that smoothness were the scar from his injury while in the Marines and the lone tattoo on his right arm in honor of his friend Paul. She was busy considering whether she should initiate contact when she looked from his nice towel-shrouded butt to his eyes and found him smiling.
Bella blushed and covered her eyes with her hands in exasperation. "Ugh," she groaned. "I feel like a teenager again."
Feeling the bed sink slightly, she knew that Edward had joined her there. Peeking out from behind one of her hands, she found his face inches from her own, and before she knew it, his hands were prying hers away from her face. She allowed her hands to go limp, and he held them in his, caressing the backs with his thumbs.
"Bella," he said softly, "it's only natural for us to have these reactions to each other. I love it that you like what you see when you look at me, because I really like what I see when I look at you."
She was pretty sure she was grinning like a fiend now, because he smiled that crooked smile she loved so much and kissed the corner of her mouth. He smelled good enough to eat, and she blushed slightly at the thought.
"I just feel like my hormones are going haywire all the time, and I lose all control when I see you looking like—" she waved her hand in his general direction as she struggled to find the right word "—this."
He chuckled. "See, that's one of the things I love about you, Bella. You are honest even when you're flustered or embarrassed. Most people would say what they thought the other person wanted to hear."
"I just think being disingenuous is such a waste of time, and it takes twice as long for you to get to know somebody."
"Right, but most people, including myself, don't want you to see the good, the bad, and the ugly until you're somewhat emotionally invested in them."
"I feel like I've been emotionally invested in you since day one, Mr. Cullen." She ran her hands lightly over his biceps. "Lately, I've become increasingly physically invested in you."
"Well, then, it only stands to reason that I'd want to reciprocate, Ms. Swan," he said huskily. He leaned in and explored her lips lightly with his and then continued talking softly against her mouth. "I really want to show you how physically invested I am in you right now, but we need to get dressed."
She nipped gently at his bottom lip before she responded, not moving away an inch. "Why? We don't have to be at the Cullens' until two."
"I thought we might go out to visit my mother for a couple of hours," he said, leaning back so he could see her reaction.
Bella smiled. It seemed that Alice's fears were unfounded. "She'll be so happy, Edward. When did you decide this?" She wound her hands around his neck.
"I called her when you were in the shower," he confessed. "She wanted us to come for brunch, but I told her we already had plans later in the day but that we could come for a visit."
Bella bounced off the bed. "Then, I'll leave so you can get dressed."
"Good idea," he said with a smirk, "ye of so little self-control."
She paused at the door, then turned and did a little shimmy, giving the girls a little shake. The towel began tenting almost immediately, and he crossed his hands over the front of himself.
"Pot, meet kettle." Bella laughed. Edward scowled playfully and made as if to drop the towel, and she scurried from the room, giggling as she shut the door behind her.
~888~
The day flew by like a marathon. Edward's mother was a gracious hostess. Despite Edward's warning that they had already eaten, she'd made a Swiss vegetable medley, a rack of lamb, and ambrosia, ostensibly to take to Esme and Carlisle's for later, but she was insistent that they have some. Bella encouraged Edward to eat just a tiny bit since his mother had gone to so much trouble. Elizabeth had even made a pitcher of mimosas, and Bella loved them. So, after they'd eaten, they sat at the dining room table in Edward's childhood home and talked.
"I am not at all surprised that Edward chose law enforcement as a career," Elizabeth said. "Cops and Robbers was one of his favorite role-playing games."
"Ooh, did he have a toy revolver and deputy's badge when he was little?" Bella asked animatedly. Edward looked like he was ready to hurl.
"I do believe he did. They're probably still packed away somewhere in the attic."
Bella laughed. "I can just see little Tony now, wearing his deputy's star, and his tiny gun belt slung low on his little hips."
Elizabeth looked surprised, and Bella wondered if she'd gone too far. Mrs. Cullen's next words reassured her though. "We tried calling him Tony when he was younger, but he always insisted we call him by his given name. Bella, you have achieved a feat that we were never quite able to accomplish."
Looking as if he'd truly had enough, Edward stood up. "Oh, do continue to have your laughs at my expense. I'm going into the parlor to play." And with that, he kissed Bella on the temple and strode out of the dining room.
"That display was just an excuse," Elizabeth said with a smile. "His hands have been itching to tinkle those ivories since you two got here."
"He plays on the upright now at the Center after work sometimes, but it doesn't rival the sound of your baby grand, I'm sure."
"I'm glad to have it. I fear I'd never see him were it not for the piano," Elizabeth said frankly.
"Mrs. Cullen, if that were the case, Edward could have bought a piano by now, or at the very least, an electronic keyboard. It's not like those are things he can't afford on a cop's salary." Bella knew that Edward loved his mother unconditionally, despite how she might have failed him emotionally in the past.
After a brief warm-up, they heard the unmistakable melody of Claire de Lune drifting through from the parlor. Elizabeth looked thoughtful. "And Edward has other resources, which he refuses to tap into for whatever reason. I suppose the piano has been his way of keeping tabs on me."
Bella smiled. "Yes, the piano is just the camouflage."
"You're a wise and compassionate young woman for your years, Bella. I don't deserve your kindness, considering my initial reaction to my son dating you. I hope you know how much I regret speaking before getting to know you better." Elizabeth's eyes were moist, and Bella's heart went out to her.
"Forgiven and forgotten. COGS took some of the cultural mores of the "old South" and made it dogma. Aro Volturi brainwashed you and countless others by taking the Word out of context and force-feeding it to you as truth. The God we both know and love is one and the same, and He would never condone a religion that condemns people—like my parents—for loving one another."
Bella had almost said, "like me and Edward," but she was glad she caught herself on that one. Did she really want to declare herself to Edward's mother before she did to him? She really couldn't fathom life without him now, so much so that she was willing to drive a wedge between herself and her father in order to be with him. For the remaining hour, Bella had a great time talking to Mrs. Cullen while Edward played Debussy, Mozart, Bach, and Chopin in the background.
~888~
Memorial Day at the other Cullen household was far more festive. As Bella took in the décor, the finely appointed china and all the trappings of the holiday displayed by Esme, she realized why Alice was such a design maven. She was definitely her mother's daughter. And the two of them together had created an ambiance that could not be matched—complete with patriotic music and red, white, and blue party decorations that regular people couldn't imagine, let alone duplicate. Even as she offered, Bella knew there was nothing she could do to help. Alice and Esme had thought of everything, and Elizabeth brought what was left of the dishes she'd prepared earlier to add to the feast. It was two-thirty when they sat down for a very late lunch.
Bella leaned into Edward, who was seated at her left, and whispered, "We're going to have to run ten miles tomorrow after all this food today."
He smiled sympathetically at her and whispered back. "I know." His eyes brightened considerably. "Or we can burn the calories another way."
Bella blushed almost as red as the stripes on the American flag. "Edward! Your mother is sitting right next to you," she hissed. Although, Elizabeth was occupied talking to Carlisle, Bella didn't want Mrs. Cullen to hear them speaking to one another in thinly-veiled sexual innuendos.
He chuckled softly. "I was talking about dancing, Bella."
"Oh, yeah." Bella took a sip of water, and her heart rate slowed back to normal. She cleared her throat lightly. "And we can swim, too, if you want."
Alice, who was nibbling on a yeast roll while her husband was nibbling on her, didn't miss a thing. "Edward, what are you saying to Bella over there? She's red enough to be considered one of the decorations."
"Alice, what is Jasper doing to you over there?" Edward countered. "Some of us are eating, you know."
"Aunt Elizabeth, Edward is being mean to me," Alice whined.
The elder Cullens found this hysterically funny. Bella and Jasper looked on with bemused smiles as Edward and Alice glared at their parents. "What does this remind you of, Esme?" Elizabeth asked when she was able to catch her breath.
"The vacation we took together in Aspen when the kids were, oh, five and seven." Esme grinned. "Alice and Edward fought like cats and dogs the whole time."
"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "Then after three days of them driving us all crazy, you ladies went off shopping all day and left them with Edward Sr. and me. When you returned, they were asleep in the same bed, and Edward Sr. and I were passed out from a Scotch-induced stupor."
The story created a visual that had them all laughing and telling other stories of the Cullen family past. Before Bella knew it, they were on their way to her parents' home to face the proverbial music. Although she was nervous, she felt buoyed by the fact that she had a great guy sitting next to her. And even with the guilt that had been nagging her as of late, and the discomfort she would undoubtedly experience in order to be with him, he was worth every bit of it.
~888~
When they pulled into the circular drive of her parent's home and parked, Bella was relieved that the only vehicles there were Angela's car and Ira Wilson's catering van. As she and Edward walked hand in hand to the door, her stomach roiled, and she regretted eating at the Cullens'. She tried to smile up at Edward as genuinely as she could, but his dubious expression clued her in that he wasn't buying it. Edward stopped just short of the steps to the front door.
"Bella, baby, you really don't have to do this today if it's going to make you physically sick," he said sympathetically. His hands went to her arms, and he gently massaged the telltale goose bumps away.
"Thanks for offering me a reprieve, but I need to do this today."
"Do you want me to be with you when you tell them?" His hands slid up and rested on her shoulders, massaging them gently.
"No, I think I should do it alone. My dad may need a few minutes to adjust to the idea."
"I just don't want you to feel like you've got to face your parents alone. I'm here for you."
Nervous, her hands clutched his shirt at his waist. "I know, but I think my dad would be more comfortable if I told him first." She took a deep breath. "Besides, then he'll have all evening to get used to it."
Edward brushed her forehead lightly with his lips. "Okay, let's do this."
Bella tried the door; it was unlocked as she suspected. Edward held the door as she walked in just ahead of him. As they entered the foyer proper, she heard her dad's booming voice coming from his study.
"Come on in and make yourselves at home," he said. He poked his head out the door of his study. Seeing it was them, he amended his greeting. "That was for you Edward. I'm sure your date knows this is always home." Charlie offered a hand to Edward and then embraced his daughter.
"As if you need to remind me," Bella teased.
"We got another thirty-five, forty minutes before the other guests arrive. Angela and Ben are out by the pool pestering Ira for his barbeque recipes, and I think your mother is in the kitchen," Charlie said, scratching a phantom itch behind his ear.
"Dad, can I talk to you for a few minutes?"
"Sure," Charlie said amiably. "Come on in." He gestured toward his study door.
Bella smiled up at Edward. "The patio is just out the French doors in the kitchen. You can get there through the dining room or the great room. Go on back and say 'hello' to everybody. I'll be there in a few minutes."
Edward squeezed her hand briefly, and then he was gone. Charlie had already gone back into his study and was standing in front of his desk when she entered. She closed the door and moved to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
"Is this a sit down conversation?" Charlie asked, his eyes narrowing briefly.
"Yes, it is," Bella said seriously as she sat on the edge of the chair in front of his desk. There was really no getting comfortable for this conversation.
Charlie took his seat, giving her his undivided attention. "What's this about, sweetheart?"
"Dad, I should apologize to you first of all. I wasn't truthful to you about something yesterday, and at church, no less. When you suggested that Edward was my boyfriend, I ignored it and rambled on about other things. The truth is, he is my boyfriend." There, the cat was finally out of the bag.
Charlie smirked. "Your mother and I figured as much."
Blood pooled, dark and telling, under her skin, and Bella's mouth flew open in an astonished gasp. "You knew all along?" The question was like an accusation.
"Your mom has been speculating since the concert. And I went home Saturday after the festival and told her that I thought Cullen was absolutely smitten with you, what with the way he was so protective when Beauvoir practically assaulted you. If he were just a co-worker or acquaintance, he would've deposited you into my care and went on his way, but Edward insisted on personally assuring you got some rest. He was acting like a man who cared, and you responded like a woman who returned those feelings."
"Dad, Edward is really important to me. From the first day we met, I just knew he was different, but we both had other people in our lives as we were getting to know one another at the Center. Then when he broke up with Tanya, I was still dating James, but he didn't give up. He pursued me because he cared for me, and I didn't want to hurt James' feelings, so I stupidly dated them both for a while. But, it's official now. Edward really is the only one I want to be with."
"Do you love him, honey?"
"I think so, Dad. What I feel for Edward is so far beyond anything I've ever felt for anyone else before."
Charlie's face scrunched up a bit, and he looked like he might cry. "I knew this day would eventually come, Bells," he said his voice husky and cracking with emotion. "All I can do is caution you as I always have to guard your heart until you're really sure. As much as that is possible, I suppose."
"Dad, this happened so quickly, it kind of sneaked up on me, and I really haven't had time to guard much of anything, let alone my heart."
"Well, I hope you've, at the very least, been reminded about some things," he said, nodding toward her hands in her lap.
Bella flushed but assured him through her discomfort. "Oh, yes, absolutely. I've told Edward about my commitment, and he knows that this ring will only be replaced by another one."
"And he's good with that, right? I mean, outside of his mother and that outfit she was involved with, the rest of the Cullens seem to be solid, faith-wise."
Bella took a deep breath before answering. "That's another thing I need to talk to you about, Dad. Edward made a profession of faith early in his life, but he was deeply hurt by COGS and his stepfather, who was Aro Volturi's brother. When he came to church with me yesterday, that was the first time he'd been to church since he was fifteen when he went to live with his father in Indiana."
"So, you're telling me that Edward has been totally out of fellowship for more than ten years?" he asked incredulously. It was Charlie's turn to change color. However, his face looked more purple than red.
"Yes," she answered calmly. She needed to diffuse this situation and quickly. "Dad, I know that it looks like I'm missionary dating, but I believe with everything in me that Edward is the one for me, and I don't believe he'll be out of fellowship forever. He went through a lot as a child—a bitter divorce and then emotional abuse by a cult. There is so much about his background that I'm not at liberty to share with you because it's his story to tell, but I believe in him. Edward knows how important faith is to me, and he respects it and is ready and willing to understand it. He doesn't have much faith in the church right now, but I believe with all my heart that this will change."
Charlie's coloring began normalizing as he spoke. "Bella, you know this goes against everything we believe. However, you are an adult, and I can only speak the truth to you, in love, as I would to any other parishioner. This is a recipe for disaster, honey. You are beginning a relationship on a shaky foundation at best. Your fundamental belief systems are polar opposites, and this will color every decision you make in any life you would have together. If you insist on continuing in this relationship, then you will do so against my advice. As much as I like Edward and respect who he is as a man and appreciate everything he's done to make things easier for all of us at the Center, I can't give you my blessing in this situation. I'm sorry, sweetheart."
Hot tears stung her face as she felt her father's words slice through her heart. For the first time in her life, she was doing something that made her ecstatically happy, but her father didn't approve. Usually, Charlie Swan championed her decisions and was the first to offer his support. He had sided with her on her decisions about her college major and even the schools she attended, while Renee would have had her choose a different path. In all of her major life milestones, her father had been firmly in her corner and immensely proud of her. Now that she had made a decision that was one of the most important to her in five years, her father refused to give her his blessing.
"Dad, I am not giving up on him simply because he hasn't fully embraced my beliefs." She brushed the tears away like they were something offensive and stood up, refusing to allow herself to seem any weaker in the presence of her father. "He has given up so much for me, and I have no way to reciprocate but to accept him unconditionally and show him by example that love really can overcome a multitude of sins. Edward was abandoned by his parents when he needed them most. I can't and won't do that to him."
Although she knew that she was in too deep to do so, Bella was certain that if she pushed Edward away now that he had gone all-in with her, it would undo all the progress he'd made, and he'd be lost to the hedonistic lifestyle that he had previously embraced, following the example of his father. For the first time ever, he was allowing a woman to see the vulnerable side of him that he had never been able to show, and she would not be his undoing.
"Baby, you can't heal Edward of all the hurts he sustained as a result of a dysfunctional family. You are way out of your league if you think you can fix him. He needs professional help," Charlie said helplessly.
"Dad, he's getting professional help, and he's already done a one-eighty in so many areas of his life. You probably wouldn't have liked the Edward I met two months ago. He is a different man, now. And I love the man he has become. If he is not welcome here, then neither am I." She turned on her heel to go get Edward and leave. Charlie caught her at the door before she could get it open. He held her fast with both hands on her upper arms so she would have no choice but look into his eyes.
"Bells, please," he pleaded. "Don't leave. Your mother would never forgive me, and I'd never forgive myself. We have not raised you to adulthood to have you become estranged from us. I'd rather have you here in any capacity you're willing to be than not have you around at all. I may not be able to offer you my blessing in your relationship with Edward, but you will always have my love."
"I love you, too, Dad. But I need you to accept the fact that Edward is likely going to be a permanent fixture in my life. I need you to accept him, too."
"Bella, the man has no moral center. I don't want to see you hurt, and you're in for a world of it if you insist on being yoked with him. Your mother and I have no personal frame of reference for that, but we've seen so many go down that road only to be crushed by it. The statistics don't lie."
"Edward is not and will never be a statistic to me, Dad." And with that, she pulled away and angrily left his study.
~888~
EPOV
Edward was on the patio enjoying a cold beer with Ben and Angela when he saw Bella enter the kitchen and collapse into her mother's arms. He could see clearly from his current vantage point that she was upset, and it made his blood boil. Setting his beer absentmindedly on a patio table, he quickly excused himself and strode purposefully through the door.
"...just give him a little time, Lovely. He'll come around," Renee said in her soothing motherly voice while stroking her daughter's hair.
"I've always done what was expected of m-me, and the one time I need him to support me, he doesn't," Bella cried.
For a split second, Edward hesitated as he approached, but Renee waved him in. He was attempting to apply the anger management technique that Dr. Levy had instructed him to use, but he was still struggling to keep his temper in check.
"Bella?" he said in a hoarse whisper. He reached out to touch her, and she turned from her mother's arms and into his. Deftly catching her and winding his arms around her, he could feel her trembling as she valiantly fought the desire to full-out sob.
"I-I'm s-sorry, Edward," she stuttered feebly against his chest.
Father of the woman he loved or no, Edward wanted to deck his holiness Charlie Swan right about then.
Renee smiled wryly. "She'll be okay, Edward. This is more stubborn anger right now than anything else."
He stroked Bella's hair with one hand and her back with the other. "What happened?" he asked as calmly as he could. At that moment, he didn't care which one of them answered.
"My bull-headed husband, whom I love very much, has decided for the first time in his daughter's life to withhold his blessing from her," Renee said sarcastically. She composed herself and then spoke again, softer this time. "Believe it or not, Edward, my husband has his reasons for doubting that your relationship with Bella is sustainable. Statistically, the odds of success are quite dismal."
"No offense, Renee, but I'm not a firm believer in statistics and such. If I relied solely on statistics, I'd be a dead man several times over."
"D-don't say that," Bella said, still shaking in his arms.
"Shh," he soothed, caressing Bella's back with both hands. He looked as calmly as he could at Renee. "Is Rev. Swan still in his study?"
He had gone up against the Taliban and Al-Qaeda in the Middle East; surely he could face a Presbyterian Preacher and hold his own. Their warfare would not be waged with physical weapons but with words instead. Edward would find those words before he crossed the threshold of the good pastor's study.
"Yes, he'll be seeing guests in from there for the next half hour or so."
"Bella," he said, holding her gently away from his body so he could look in her eyes. Her face was splotchy and wet from previously shed tears and set in anger, but he could see the pain in her eyes and etched in her brow. It broke his heart to see her this way. "Stay here with your mother. I'll be right back, okay?"
"Edward, it's no use," Bella said huskily. "Please—"
"I just want to talk to your father, Bella." For her benefit, he smiled through the anger roiling in his gut. "I promise, it's going to be okay."
~888~
E/N: Ooh, E's going to have a convo with the Right Reverend Charlie Swan. Wonder what he's going to say? Hazard to guess?
My Beta SSHG316 and her bestie in the fandom, GinnyW31, have written a collaboration entitled "Contractually Bound." Please go to SSHG316 or GinnyW31's FFN Profile and read this fic. It promises to be a doozy. Summary: She'd cost him everyone he'd ever loved. Surely a few months of marriage wasn't too high a price for her to pay in compensation. Edward/Bella AH. If you like TLC, I'm sure you'll love this story. These ladies are women after my own heart. Let me know what you think.