"You were serious." Dirk said, numbly staring at his ticket. "You're really making us watch a rom-com?"
"Love Actually is not just a rom-com Dirk!" Exclaimed Jake, "It's beautiful! A masterpiece!"
"You've already seen it?" Jane asked in surprise.
"Er...just a few times?" He ruffled his hair, "It's a good movie though!"
They shuffled into the theater, Jane devouring a bucket of extra-buttery popcorn as Jake rambled on about the movie, trying to catch himself before spoilers.
A match made in heaven, Roxy thought dreamily, chomping down on a piece of bubblegum. She turned to Dirk and almost swallowed her gum at his expression. He looks...not sad, not angry, but...
"Dirk?"
"What?" he snapped, recoiling at the shift in her own expression, "Sorry. What?"
Guys don't like it when you ask... "Are you okay?"
He hesitated, staring after their two friends. "Yes?"
They hate that question! "Are ya sure?"
"I don't know. It's not important. Whatever." He flounced into the theater, leaving Roxy scurrying to keep up. Boys...
"Are you m-mad?" She asked timidly, holding the phone close to her ear.
"Oh my god, you always ask that! Stop fucking asking! I'm fine until you say that!"
"S-sorry..."
"Ugh, stop apologizing! I'm your boyfriend, not a big scary monster Rox! Stop tip-toeing around me like I'm gonna bite you!"
"Right..."
"Look, I don't know if I can take this. You drinking is enough of a goddamn problem, but you sober is worse. I liked you better when you were drunk."
"Please don't say that..."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. At least you aren't always asking what I'm thinking or if I'm mad when you drink. Calm your tits, ok?"
"I'm s...I, uh, I..."
"Holy shit, just talk to me like a person!"
"Sorry," she whispered, clutching her phone. A heavy sigh echoed on the line, and her lips quivered. "I love you," she murmured quietly, aching in the silence.
"I can't do this Rox. I can't. Bye."
click.
"What did you think of the movei, movie?" Roxy asked, wiping away the last of her credits-tears. Damn sappy music. It did a number on her messed-up emotions, especially when she was drunk.
Oops.
"It was ok," Dirk begrudgingly admitted, walking next to a bouncing Jake. "As good as the other thousand times you've seen it?" he asked, nudging him.
"Oh yeah! Brilliant as ever!"
"You silly boy," Jane giggled, smiling briefly. D'awwww.
Crunch.
"Dirk?" Roxy said, eyeing the now crushed Junior Mints box, crumpled in his pale fist.
"What? You don't crush your empty candy boxes? That's fucking weird." He said calmly, despite the light pink flush he had blooming on his slightly freckled cheeks.
"O-oh," she squeaked, "Okay..." She glugged her spiked soda, sighing in relief when the familiar buzzing in her fingertips flowed.
"I think I'm gonna go," he said suddenly, tossing the box in a trashcan, echoing viciously. "You three have fun. Hope you don't mind being the third wheel Rox."
Rox? "Oh, um, ok. Bye?"
"You're leaving man?" Jake said, not looking as rueful as he should have been, "Alright, if you want to!"
He doesn't want to! Something is wrong!
"Bye Dirk!" Jane said cheerfully, "Sorry Roxy made you watch a rom-com," she joked.
"That's not-" she bursts out, words dying when he whipped back around. Behind his shades, she could see the outline of eyes that were dangerously sharp. Eyes that said 'shut up'.
Eyes she was very familiar with.
"Bye everybody," he said stiffly, "Bye Rox," he whispered, a little softer.
TT: You figured it out.
TG: i sure as hel figgeroud out sumthinang!
TT: Holy shit, how drunk are you?
TG: not fuking impertiaont
TG: esxplian
TT: You think something's wrong.
TT: You're right.
TG: no shiet sherrlokc
TG: wut iz it
TT: You've talked to Auto-Responder enough. You tell me.
TG: thizs deosnt efen maek senzes
TG: how logn haev i knowwn u
TG: not fuking long
TG: y r we spiiling sercets?
TG: u do u truts me when u dotn evem trust Jake fuly?
TT: I don't know.
TG: allrite.
TG: do u trust me?
TT: Unfortunately, yeah.
TG: then let it teh FUKC out
TG: sppil
TG: i know u want 2
TG: u want sum1 to care enuff for u, to spil ur guts bout whateverz bothering ya
TG: no1 has yet?
TG: or u just wanted to milik the attentioon?
TG: fukcing tel. get it ovur with.
TT: You are scarily perceptive when hammered.
TG: stfu im prefrectly nermal
TT: Yeah, sure.
TT: I haven't told because the person who cared enough to ask was who I couldn't tell.
TG: ?
TG: do u like janey?
TT: No, I fucking like Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Like Jake.
TG: ur gay?
TT: I don't know. All I know is that I'm in love with Jake English.
In love with Jake English.
TG: ur
TG: ur
TG: ur alonee noaw. u need hlep.
TG: tel me where u r
TT: Why the hell should I?
TG: so i cna helpp u
TG: oke?
TT: ...
TT: Ok.
"Dirk?" She slurred, stumbling into his apartment, tripping over a broken toaster, obviously broken for robot parts.
"In here," he said dully, voice muffled. Turning the corner revealed him perched on a battered couch, staring blankly into space.
"Oh Dirk..." she whispered, all drunken buzz draining out of her, no hangover necessary. "Oh you poor...come here." She jumped on the couch, wrapping her arms around him. He naturally curved so she could hold him, not saying anything.
Dirk had never had a mother.
He gave a strangled couch, and she shushed him gently, running her fingers through his hair. The corner of his shades dug into her chest, but it was okay. For now, it was okay. She was okay.
He wasn't.
"Let it out," she murmured.
"Why should I?" he muttered, "I don't even known you, and now you're acting like you care about me?"
"I have strong maternal instincts. Shut the fuck up and tell me why you're upset."
"Why should I?!" He exploded, "No one cares, why should you? It's been what, a week? Tell me why you 'care'!"
"Because I..." she paused, "I'm your friend. And I care. Tell me Dirk, please."
"You never say please. Aren't you drunk? Tell me you're drunk. You were drunk earlier."
"I dunno. I am. Doesn't matter."
"It matters."
"You're stalling Dirk."
"So what if I am?"
"You said you were in love with Jake," she said gently, "It hurts you to see Jane and Jake together. And I don't care what your last name is, you are holding back tears."
We both are.
"Striders don't cry," he whispered, voice cracking. He snatched off his glasses and furiously rubbed his eyes, sniffing. "Yeah, I love him."
"And it hurts?"
"God, it hurts so bad Rox. I have to listen to him ramble on about Jane or girls he thinks I should be with and I c-can't...I can't tell him how I feel. 'Cause I'd lose him, and I can't let that happen, 'cuz if he left me like Bro did...I don't think I could live anymore. I loved them both and Bro left me to shoot his goddamn movie and even if he was here I couldn't tell him about Jake 'cuz I don't want him to be disappointed that I'm in love with a guy."
He opened his eyes and Roxy was shocked by his electric orange pupils. "He wouldn't leave you..."
"He would though. They always do! Everyone does!" He clutched her shirt, looking up with his wide eyes, "Don't leave me!" He pleaded, "Please Roxy. Don't leave me."
"I won't."
"Why do things have to change?" He whispered into her shirt, "I don't want them to. It's like...pointless for them to. If things are good they always get bad. Sure, bad always goes good, but then it goes bad again. Why can't we just pause this summer forever? Perpetually the four of us, forever."
"That sounds beautiful."
"My heart is breaking Rox. It's like falling in love with a TV show that ends and then you hear the theme song years later. Seeing an old episode of Doctor Who with David Tennant. Seeing Ash and Misty together. Listening to Ib Forever or Magical Mirror. Watching seniors graduate. It's like watching Fullmetal Alchemist after seeing Conqueror of Shamballa. It feels like I'm getting stabbed in the heart with a katana." He sniffled piteously and Roxy's own heart ached.
"Awfully specific," she half-laughed. "Dirk, things have to change. It's just something that happens."
"But Jake...he's changing without me." He sniffled again, "I know he doesn't love me, but does he have to like someone else?"
"I hate that 'I just want them to be happy' crap. It's bullshit, and I agree with you." she said, "You want them to be happy with you. Duh."
"Yeah!" he agreed, nodding his head vigorously, "But I can't hate Jane or Jake. So I'm just broken hearted, by myself..."
She hugged him closer. "Dirk..."
"Rox?"
"It'll be ok. I'm here for you...If that helps?"
"It does," he said firmly, "do you know what heartbreak feels like?"
She hesitated.
"Sorta."
Finally uploaded something. Argh. Please review and let me know what you think!