Trust, Loyalty, Commitment
"From The Inside Out"
By Hillsong United
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart, my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out.
~888~
"You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also?" – Luke 11:40
Chapter 22 – TLC: From The Inside Out
BPOV
As Nina Simones' voice faded and the song ended with its resounding piano flourishes, Bella was speechless. Edward just told me that he loved me!
It was altogether beautiful, yet totally unexpected. She had been prepared to wait quite a while for a declaration of love from him, considering his past and all that he had endured. This was astronomical in its implications, and she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea that he was comfortable enough with the concept to share his feelings with her so soon. The confrontation with Charlie earlier in the day had convinced her, without a doubt, that she loved him, too—but she had decided to withhold her feelings until she felt he was ready to hear them. Apparently, that time was right now.
Bella's eyes filled with happy tears. She tried with all her might to will them not to fall and failed miserably. Because she was stunned by his declaration, she had not moved or reacted other than to allow her silent tears to leak out of the corners of her eyes. Edward regarded her anxiously now, and she realized that she needed to say something quickly before she ruined the moment.
"I love you, too, Edward—with all my heart," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. Smiling widely, she put her hands on the sides of his face and drew his now smiling face down for another kiss.
Elated, Bella felt like this kiss was the sweetest one they had ever shared because it was preceded by declarations of love. It was gentle and touched places deep within her that no man had ever come close to possessing. Carefully easing his weight off her, Edward rolled onto his side and gathered her close into his arms. His green eyes crinkled at the corners and glistened with emotion as they smiled happily at one another. Bella kissed the cleft on his chin and felt him shiver slightly. She exulted in her ability to affect him so powerfully. But she was affected, too. She could feel it in the sudden staccato tapping of her own heart against her ribcage and in the surge of love she felt for him that was so intense it made her ache. They had achieved an astounding level of intimacy, and if she thought about it too much, it would be overwhelmingly frightening.
He pulled her closer to his chest and murmured, "Bella, you are beautiful inside and out, and you make me so much better just by existing, do you know that?"
"Thank you," she whispered, too delirious to comprehend exactly what he was saying but hoping that her response was appropriate.
"I just need you to know—you're it for me."
Bella felt like it was Christmas morning and she was a little girl again who had gotten everything she wanted under the Christmas tree, except it was magnified about a thousand times.
~888~
Somehow Edward was able to convince ADT to come out before nine on Tuesday morning to install an alarm system in Bella's apartment. When the technician arrived, he seemed just a bit intimidated that Edward was a police officer. The poor guy was so nervous, his hands shook. Edward seemed oblivious as he hovered over the guy, making sure he secured all the windows and doors, and tested the system. Bella stood with her arms folded, watching the spectacle, shaking her head in disbelief as the technician finished up and shook Edward's hand profusely.
As Edward closed the door and secured it, she chuckled. "What?" he asked.
"You had that poor guy shaking in his boots," she said with a smirk.
He splayed his hands out and shrugged. "What did I do?" He had her in his arms in a couple more steps.
"I think your uniform or your presence or something made him a bit uncomfortable during that installation." She wound her arms around his neck and tiptoed to give him a peck on the lips.
Edward pulled her close, careful not to crush her into his service belt. "I just wanted to make sure he did everything properly. I didn't mean to scare the guy," he said sheepishly.
"Must be the authority you exude," she teased. "People just don't know how to take that."
"I thanked him and shook his hand," he protested.
"Yeah, after you dogged his every step and asked a gazillion questions."
Edward grew serious. "I just want to make sure you'll be safe here alone."
She relented with the teasing, smiling ruefully. "I know, and I'm really grateful—really I am. I just hope all this ends up being unnecessary. I don't want to live like a prisoner or like I'm in the Federal Witness Protection Program or something."
"I won't take any chances with your safety, though, Bella. Until we can make sure there isn't a credible threat, these precautions are necessary." He cupped his hand around the back of her head and leaned in to kiss her thoroughly.
Bella melted in his arms, and when he released her, she couldn't help that she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Love you," she said, the grin growing broader.
He reciprocated with one of his ovary-dissolving crooked smiles. "Love you back, babe."
"You have exactly fifteen minutes to get to Dr. Levy's office," she said, peering around him at the clock on the microwave.
"You remember the codes to arm and disarm the alarm, right?" he asked anxiously.
"Yes," she assured him and began ushering him to the door. "I'll be sure to arm it as soon as you're out the door. See you at the Center in an hour or so?"
"I'll be back so we can drive over together," he insisted.
"Why? I think I can make it to my car without any trouble."
"Just, do it for me, okay? I'll be back, so don't you open that door until I call, understood?"
Bella thought fleetingly about pushing the envelope but decided against it. He looked so anxious, she didn't want to stress him anymore about it. "Okay, see you at 10:45, then."
Edward's relief when she relented was almost palpable. He sighed and caressed her left cheek with his right hand. Bella leaned into his caress and closed her eyes. She was so distracted by his touch, she didn't notice him leave until she heard him running down the steps. Smiling, she clicked the deadbolt into place, armed the alarm, and went back into the kitchen for another cup of coffee.
~888~
"How have things been with you and your mother?" Dr. Levy asked.
Talk about diving right in.
"Better, now that she's accepted Bella. We actually spent a few hours together on Memorial Day. Now I think I can handle weekly visits with her again."
"Edward, I have to say, I am so impressed with your progress, so far," Dr. Levy said, his pen poised to make notes. "I've been conferring with your mother's therapist, and I think we're ready for some joint sessions. Are you up for that challenge?"
"Um, yeah, sure." He hoped that Elizabeth Masen-Cullen was up to it. And he was saying the words and agreeing to it, but was he really up for it? Only time would tell.
Dr. Levy scratched some notes in his file. "After we smooth out some things with you and your mother, we can concentrate on the most difficult of your familial relationships."
Edwards's throat went dry. Even after all this time, he still couldn't fathom ever talking to Edward Cullen, Sr. again. So much time had passed, and his father had long ago ceased to attempt any contact with him. Why did he have to dredge up all that long buried angst and emotion?
"Is that really necessary? My father has gone on with his life, and I've done the same. Can't we just work with my mother and leave him out of it?"
"Your father's abandonment of you as a teen was probably the most detrimental to you and shaped who you became in your early adult life. You are doing well with your mother, and you're in the first significant romantic relationship you've ever had. I'm afraid if you don't deal with those issues with your father, they may come back to haunt you later." Apparently Dr. Levy thought it was necessary because he wouldn't let it go. "And believe me, you don't want that to interfere in your relationship with Bella."
"Absolutely not," Edward said rather forcefully. "I love Bella, and we've already got enough parental fuckery to deal with right now, not to mention psychotic stalkers."
Dr. Levy chuckled. "Do you realize you just said you love Bella?"
Edward eyed him quizzically. "Yes—"
"Have you shared your feelings with her?"
Edward grinned widely. "Yeah, and she feels the same way."
"Edward, that is huge," Dr. Levy said, emphasizing the word huge with an exceptionally long "u." "The fact that you were able to say that so soon to someone despite all that you've experienced is a significant accomplishment. This Bella sounds like an awesome woman. Good for you."
"Yes, she is that and more." He loved Bella in a way he had never expected to love anyone. His feelings for Victoria had been something like deep affection, but when she had pushed for more, he was nowhere near ready to move their relationship to the next level. The first day he met Bella, there was something strong enough to make him pursue a woman who so starkly contrasted his usual type, if he'd ever truly had one. Physically, she could be compared to any number of beautiful women he had dated, but it was who she was inside that eclipsed all of them.
"So, what's this parental fuckery, as you called it, and psychotic stalking you have to deal with?" Dr. Levy propped his chin on his fist and waited for Edward to relate this information.
Edward told him about Rev. Swan's initial reaction to their relationship and about the person who seemed to be following Bella.
"You internalize a lot, Edward, so my advice to you, is to keep an open line of communication going with the good reverend. My wife's father is a pastor, and believe me, there is nothing more precious to them, aside from the relationship with the big guy, than their wives and children. You have to win him over a little at a time by your actions toward his daughter, not words. Just as you did when you confronted him on her behalf this weekend. When this happens, he will be your champion. Also, tell your superiors about this stalker. I know your first inclination will be to handle it yourself, but you're not an island. Others who care and can support you need to be brought into the loop."
Dr. Levy certainly had his number. He wanted to find the bastard who was shadowing Bella and stomp the shit out of him. Dr. Levy made him realize that he needed to do the right thing, follow protocol, and have Bella file an official complaint that would be documented when this moron was apprehended. But, if Edward got to the perpetrator before his colleagues, heaven help the scumbag.
~888~
Summers at the Center were a different format altogether than during the school year. They provided only a reading lab and lunch for the children. For the minority of the children whose parents worked outside of the home and a healthy percentage of those who did not, a nutritious midday meal was a godsend. The Center was able to partner with local vendors who were willing to cater lunch for the children during the summer at little or no cost. Bella had been able to secure some excellent ones this summer that were very popular with the children. The food arrived fifteen minutes after opening, and she was thankful that some volunteers had shown up early to help with storing it until the children came forty-five minutes later.
As she drove to work, she had her personal police escort in the person of one Officer Edward Cullen, who was now patrolling the property. He planned to come by after the children left at one o'clock to meet with her and all the volunteers, and to arm them with pepper spray and self-defense techniques. As much as she wanted to brush everything aside and continue life as usual, she was her father's daughter, and he had always told her it was better to be safe than sorry.
Bella was excited to have Maria and a new guy among the volunteers that would be helping out at the Center. She finished up her paperwork and moved out into the common area to greet the newcomers and brief everyone before the children came. They were all seated at the tables and conversing among themselves. Alice was talking to Sean and Mrs. Williams, but she stopped a second to wink at Bella who was making a beeline for Maria. Maria was in conversation with a blond guy of average height with very patrician features. They stopped talking and smiled as Bella approached.
"Maria," Bella said with an answering smile, "I'm so glad you're here. How are you?"
"I'm good, querida. I was just telling Demetri, here, that you guys have a very nice facility, state of the art. I don't believe the county's elementary schools can claim the success you've achieved here."
"I see you've done your homework. It is an achievement that was obtained through much prayer, research, and hard work," Bella said, embracing her briefly. She then turned to the gentleman sitting next to Maria. "Demetri, how did you find out about us?"
"My fiancée and I recently moved back to the area, and we were doing some similar volunteer work in Chicago, so we wanted to plug in here and give back," he said smoothly.
There was something vaguely familiar about him, so Bella couldn't help but ask, "You said you'd moved back to the area—where did you go to school when you were here before?"
"Fairview Middle School."
"That's where I went to school," Bella said. "Oh my gosh, you're Demetri Christos!"
He grinned sheepishly. "I didn't think you would remember me, Bella. It's been so long ago."
"We were only in the same class, went to the same church, and went to the same Summer Bible Camp for three years. Pssh, come here." She gave him a hug. "So, last I heard, your parents moved you guys to Indiana. How did you get to Chicago?"
Demetri looked a little flushed. "Oh, um, Indiana didn't work out, so my dad got another assignment. Jan and I went to college in Chicago, too."
"You and Jan should come visit City of Hope. My dad would love to see you and catch up."
"We'll do that, soon," he said with a nervous smile.
"Well, let me get started," Bella said, backing away from them. "Talk to you guys later."
Bella briefed everyone on the number of children to expect and how the lunch period and reading hour afterward would go. Because they were only open for two hours for the children during the summer, and some of the volunteers worked, they would stagger their time and work the first or second hour so she split them according to their preference. Those who didn't work or had flexible schedules, like Alice and Mrs. Williams, agreed to come for both hours. She also told them about the safety precautions they would be instituting and asked them to hang around after the children left. Everything went relatively smoothly for a first day in the new format, and she was pleased when the last child left for the day. She retreated into her office for a few minutes to freshen up, and when she came out of her tiny bathroom, Edward was there waiting.
Her face lit up. "Hey, you. About time you got here, sheriff. What's happening on the property today?"
Edward smiled, but there was something akin to worry in his eyes. "Mostly the usual. However, Beauvoir was cruising around a while ago in a gold Lexus. I stopped him, but he has a legitimate right to be on the property. Apparently, he is a guest in the home of his aunt, who lives here. Do you know Felina Montes?"
Bella got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Felina Montes is the woman who was ranting on the kids' jungle gym when you first came to work here, remember?"
"Oh, the crazy lady."
"Yeah. I had no idea she was related to Laurent." Bella's brow knit in concentration.
"Apparently, she's one of his mother's surviving sisters, and she was lucid enough today to vouch for him. Bella, this means we really have to be careful. He doesn't have a court date set for what happened last Saturday, yet, but I think you need to file a formal complaint and also get a restraining order drawn up."
"Okay, if you think it's necessary."
"I do, but I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. I'm going to keep you safe until he is put away."
God, how she loved him. Bella didn't know what she would have done if Edward weren't in her life right now. Definitely her dad would have stepped up to protect her, but she was so thankful to have someone who cared for her, who could step into the role of her defender against any and all threats. He made her feel safe despite everything that was going on, and she would never take that for granted.
She stole a brief hug and then took his hand. "Come on, the volunteers are waiting for us." When she exited her office door, she let her hand slip away from his. She introduced Edward for the benefit of the new volunteers present and left them in his capable hands for the next hour.
Unbeknownst to Bella and Edward, Maria waited until the others left to speak to Bella alone for a second. She tapped on the doorjamb of the office startling Bella and Edward out of a kiss.
"Excuse me," Maria said with an embarrassed smile. "I just wanted to talk to you for another few minutes, Bella." Then, when she saw Edward's look of irritation, she quickly added, "I promise it'll only be a few seconds."
Bella stepped out of Edward's embrace. "I'll just walk her to the door. Be right back." She followed Maria into the common area.
"Ah, querida, so the polícia is the new boyfriend, eh?"
Bella didn't see any point to deny it; she would have found out soon enough anyway. "Yes, Edward is my boyfriend. We just don't advertise it here at the Center."
"I can keep a secret," Maria assured her. "I just wanted to speak to you about James. He took a brief sabbatical a couple of weeks ago, but now he's back. He's been very weird and hard on us for no reason. The Choir members are threatening to quit if something doesn't change. His father, o sacerdote, cannot get him to see reason. You have always been able to calm him. I thought maybe you could talk to him."
Bella was saddened to hear how James had descended into bitterness. The least she could do was to try and talk some sense into him, if only for Maria and the choir members' sakes.
"I'll give him a call, Maria," Bella promised.
~888~
Edward took his fifteen minute break and followed Bella home. She was armed with a tiny canister of pepper spray on her key ring, and it felt heavy in her hand as she let herself back into her apartment. She busied herself washing clothes and tidying up since she'd been away for several days. Edward was coming by after he finished up with his group session at the Veteran's clinic, but she missed him already. Angela called and insisted that she was coming by after work and even went so far as to invite herself to dinner because she just had to show Bella something. Unable to dissuade her, Bella relented. She would quite possibly go stir crazy in the apartment by herself before Edward arrived, so it would be nice to have some company. For dinner, she was planning to broil salmon steaks, which would cook up very quickly. Having already texted Edward to make sure he liked salmon, she prepped them and put them back in the fridge.
Looking at the clock, Bella realized that she had about fifteen minutes before Angela was to arrive, so she decided to try and call James. Searching through her contacts on her cell phone, she found his number and dialed him. It rang several times before he finally picked up. She decided that he had looked at her name and debated whether to pick up or not.
"So, Cullen finally let you call, huh?" His sarcasm was biting.
"I am not going to dignify that question with an answer," she shot back.
"To what do I owe this pleasure, or should I say specific form of torture?"
"James, I can be Bella the bitch that broke your heart or Bella the friend who cares about you. Which one do you want to talk to right now?"
He laughed. "Touché," he said, the sarcastic edge completely gone from his voice. "You always did take me by surprise, Bella. There is nothing Cookie Cutter Christian about you. It's what I liked most about you."
"I've been hearing things. Are you taking care of yourself?"
"Hearing things? Define 'taking care.'"
She decided to just ask him point-blank. "Are you clean, James?"
"Way to get to the heart of the matter." He paused and expelled a breath. "I am not using anything hard. I've been having a few drinks from time to time to take the edge off."
"Think about where this is leading. If you don't get a grip, you could descend into that dark place where you were in Atlanta, and I know you don't want that."
"What I wanted was you, and you abandoned me. Don't try to tell me what I want." His righteous indignation set Bella's teeth on edge.
"You can do one of two things. You can continue this downward spiral of self-destruction, or you can stand up and be the kind of man I know you to be. Your mom, dad, and sister love you and wouldn't want you to travel down that path again. You will eventually regret you had feelings for me and wonder how you could have let that destroy what you have taken years to build back up again. Your choir is threatening mutiny—think about them. What is it that you're feeling that won't let you shake this, James? I know you can do it. You just need to stand firm."
"I mean, beyond the overwhelming feeling I get sometimes to challenge Officer Edward Cullen to a duel, I am standing the best way I know how. I just can't deal with losing you to him."
"James, if you think about it, I was never really yours to lose. I'll be the first to admit, it was a colossal mistake on my part to date you both, because someone was destined to be the odd man out. It's done now, and we can't take it back. But what we can do is move forward. You have so much to offer a good Christian woman—"
"Yeah, right," he snorted.
"I mean that. Come on, you can't convince me that there isn't someone out there for you. I know of at least one woman at Reformed Baptist who is a spitfire and would be perfect for you."
"Well, I haven't met her, and it's safe to say I've met every single, young professional there. You know how it is—they are all fresh out of college, embarking on a new career, and the only thing that will round everything out is a husband and 2.5 children. They are insufferable because they are all cookie-cutters, Bella."
"I beg to differ. Maria Teixeira is awesome. She is not cookie-cutter—she's Portuguese for goodness sake. And for what it's worth, she likes you, James, even though you have made her existence holy hell over there."
"How do you know all of this?"
"I've got spies at Reformed Baptist," she said conspiratorially.
"I believe you." He sighed deeply. "Bella, thank you for calling. Really. I have missed you."
"I've missed you, too. Sorry I haven't called until now, but I've been so busy the last few weeks. Promise me that you'll stop drinking, and when you get to feeling blue, you'll pick up the phone and call your sponsor, Jasper, or me, okay? We all love you, you know."
"Okay, promise."
"And apologize to Maria and ask her out."
"I don't know if I can keep all of the second part of that promise, just yet. But I do owe my entire choir an apology. Dad tried to force me to do it, but I was too stubborn to acknowledge that he was right. Thankfully, he hasn't threatened to fire me yet. I really need to make things right between us."
"Yes, you do."
~888~
Angela arrived right after Bella finished talking with James. She breezed in and hugged Bella tightly.
"Weirdest thing," Angela said, adjusting her glasses and scrunching up her nose.
"What?" Bella closed the door behind her.
"I think I saw James Hall downstairs in his car talking on his cell phone."
"Get outta here!" Bella was incredulous. "I just got done talking to him before you rang the doorbell." She opened the door and stepped out to look around.
Angela was looking over her shoulder. "You see him? He was parked right over there." She pointed.
"No, he must be gone." Bella felt a bit uneasy. She believed that they'd had a cathartic conversation. If that were the case, why was he hanging around in her parking lot? Was he coming to see her before Angela showed up? Had he done this more than once? She didn't often curse, but she did so in her mind, and this the second time, no less, in a day. Shit, I can't tell Edward this; he'll go ballistic.
"Hope he's not stalking you."
"No, I think he must have been on his way over here when I called him, but after we talked, maybe he thought better of it."
They went back into her apartment, and Bella bolted the door. Angela kind of pirouetted and then presented her hand to her sister to peruse her new engagement ring. It was an exquisite round solitaire with baguettes on either side. It was as delicate as Angela herself.
"Oh my gosh, Ange, when did this happen?"
"Right after your parents' barbecue."
Bella was embarrassed, but they did the whole jumping up and down and squealing girly thing. Good thing they were in her apartment and nobody could see them. When they calmed down, she had more questions.
They moved over to the sofa. "So, I want some deetz. How did this happen?"
Angela obliged. "On the ride home, Ben got all serious and began to remind me of how he first told me that he loved me. Remember? We were in the car together in Destin during Spring Break?"
"Yeah, I remember that. So he asked you in the car?
"Yes, and Bella, it was perfect because he had hung the ring on a ribbon from the rearview mirror, and I swear, I didn't even notice it until he reached over and slid it on my finger. I was so excited, I pulled it down and broke his rearview mirror!"
Bella laughed so hard, tears came to her eyes. Angela joined in, and they doubled over and laughed for what seemed like forever. "Okay, so how did he take the breaking of his rearview mirror?"
"Um, he was really very sweet about it. I mean, I apologized profusely, but he was just so happy I said 'yes,' he didn't make a big deal about it. Your dad already knew, so we went back in and told your mom. I called you here and on your cell, but you didn't pick up."
"Oh, I was at Edward's."
Angela raised a brow. "At Edward's?"
"Yeah, you know that whole Laurent thing on Saturday really spooked him, and a couple of times we've spotted a car around that might be following me, so he didn't want me here alone until I got an alarm installed." Bella gestured toward her new alarm system.
"Maybe James is the stalkeratzi in the car."
"There has to be another explanation for him being here. I'll just call and ask him. He won't lie to me."
"If you insist. Hey, so tell me, how many bases have you rounded with His Royal Hotness, hmm?" Angela asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"We've ventured maybe halfway past second," Bella mumbled.
"And?"
"Our chemistry is lethal." Angela squealed as Bella said the words. "And he told me that he loved me last night." As Bella finished the rest of her words, Angela gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth. Then she lunged at Bella, and they fell over and off the sofa and onto the floor, giggling like they were little girls again.
Angela recovered first and sat up. "Oh Bellaboo, I'm so happy for you! I didn't think Officer McGorgeous would go there for a while, but he has confounded us all."
"Tell me about it. I knew without a doubt that I loved him when he stood up to Dad for me, but I had no idea he was there yet until he said it."
"Okay, now it's your turn for deetz, sister girl. How did it happen?"
"Oh, he opened a bottle of Asti, and we danced to Wild is the Wind, which kind of morphed into a steamy make out session, and he said it after."
"After Nina Simone and the big 'O'—tell me that he's said it again since then," Angela said anxiously.
"Yes, multiple times," Bella reassured her. "Why?"
Angela took a breath. "No worries, it all sounds completely legit, then. It's just that sometimes people say things in the throes of passion that are confused with the real deal."
"Oh," Bella said helplessly. Although she didn't want to do so, she worried if Edward had said the words too prematurely.
"But that doesn't sound like the case with you and Edward," Angela hastened to add. "Considering his past, his ability to say the words at all is tantamount to a miracle."
"You really think so?" Bella asked in a small voice.
Angela locked eyes with her sister and grasped her arms. "Bella! Listen to me. Edward loves you. Enough with the doubts over something I stupidly said without thinking."
"Okay. Are you ready to eat, then?"
"Starved," Angela admitted quickly. "What's for dinner?"
"Salmon steaks, rice pilaf, asparagus, and Caesar salad."
"Yay!"
"Go on in and help yourself. I'll be right there."
Angela moved into the kitchen, and Bella retreated to her bedroom. She dialed Edward.
"Baby, I was just thinking about you," he said when he answered. She could hear the smile in his voice.
"I was just thinking about you, too," she said. "And talking about you with Angela."
"I'm glad she's there with you. No sign of any weird cars hanging around that you've noticed?"
"No, not really." She cringed because she'd just lied to him by omission. "I just needed to hear your voice."
"Oh, baby, I love you so much. Can't wait till my session is over so I can say it to you in person." Bella released a deep breath that she had apparently been holding since she'd called him. She was prepared to tell him not to come by because she needed some time alone to think. She was so glad she didn't. He really did love her—he had to, he was saying it so much. God was so good.
"I love you, too," she said through a sob that escaped her lips before she could catch it.
"Bella, are you okay?"
She laughed then at how silly she was being. "Yes, I am now. I just can't wait for you to come home to me."
~888~
Over the next several weeks, Bella was reassured time and again that Edward indeed loved her, truly, madly, and deeply. Had she not been just as crazy for him as he was for her, it might have been stifling, they were together so much. They took morning runs together every other day, then went house hunting for Edward with his mother's real estate agent friend, Gina, until they had to go to work. Then in the evenings, he either had group on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or Bible Study with her dad on Wednesdays. They would enjoy a meal together at his place or hers and occasionally invite Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, or Angela and Ben to hang out with them. Of course, they began their weeks now attending church together at City of Hope, a development that Edward had taken to as if he had not been away from it for years. Then the cycle of their weekly activities would begin again.
Edward was determined to get out of Victoria Grand and the minefield of former hook-ups and future hook-up hopefuls who inhabited that apartment community. Bella was ecstatic that he was leaving. As long as she lived, she never wanted to encounter another woman who had been intimate with her man again. Although she knew the past was past and wouldn't hold anything against him that transpired before she had come along, it was really difficult for her not to be jealous that they had seen parts of him that she hadn't and touched him in ways that she could only dream about. It was disconcerting, and while she knew she and Edward could only go so far if she were going to be true to her commitment, that knowledge did more to undermine her confidence in her ability to abstain than anything. While she said her usual prayers for the children at the Center, for her family, her friends, for Edward, and for spiritual growth, she prayed for strength more than anything these days. Edward was a heady cocktail of liquid sex, and he laid waste to her defenses whenever he was in close intimate proximity to her. They made the conscious decision to have their friends around—a lot—because being absolutely alone was getting difficult, to say the least.
For Edward's birthday, they went to Destin for the weekend with their friends and stayed in Bella's parents' timeshare. Bella and the girls were relaxing in chaise lounge chairs on the pristine white, sandy beach, drinking their second round of frozen daiquiris that Alice had whipped up for them in the blender. The guys were fooling around in the water on boogie boards.
"Okay, Bella," Rosalie said, apropos of nothing. "You're the only one among us who isn't formally attached yet, so I want you to always remember this, while you're reeling your man in."
Rosalie was referring to the fact that it was official now that all of Bella's closest friends in Tallahassee were now either engaged or married, since Ben had finally popped the question and Angela was sporting a beautiful round solitaire on the fourth finger of her left hand. The girls had all congratulated Angela and fawned over her ring like the girly girls they were, and now Rosalie was holding court.
"LITS FITS," Rosalie continued with a smirk.
"LITS FITS?" Bella repeated.
"Yes," Rosalie affirmed. "Always remember to be a 'Lady in the streets,' but a 'Freak in the sheets.'" They all laughed.
Angela's brow crinkled. "Wait, isn't that like an old song?"
"Yeah," Bella said. "That Usher song."
"Thanks for that tip for Bella, Rosalie," Alice said. "But I've practiced my own version of LITS FITS since Jasper and I have been married. When we lived in Washington State, a little old church lady told me that the marriage bed is undefiled. What she meant in church-speak is 'Get your freak on.'"
"Thanks, Missy Elliott." Bella giggled before turning to Alice and Rose and saying, "I'll remember both 'Get your freak on' and LITS FITS."
Bella watched Edward from the moment he emerged from their room in his bathing suit. She just couldn't get enough of him, and wet Edward was all sorts of win. After horsing around in the ocean for about an hour, it looked like Edward and the guys had had enough and were making their way toward them. Edward got to Bella first, and she smiled up at him and handed him a towel. He grinned back, zeroing in on what Rosalie was saying.
"Don't thank me for LITS FITS, girls. That little acronym is actually ninety percent courtesy of Ludacris from that Usher hit. I just made it my own."
"Do I dare ask what LITS FITS is?" Edward inquired.
"You could," Rosalie said. "But that doesn't mean we're gonna tell ya."
"Gee thanks, Rose." Bella scooted over, and he joined her in her chaise.
"You know, you've got it bad, haven't you, Cullen?"
"Hey, I can't help it if Em is falling down on the job in the area of showing you attention."
"Ooh," they all said in unison.
"Don't you go getting me in trouble, Edward," Emmett complained as he grabbed a beer out of the cooler. "I do that enough myself."
Undaunted, Rosalie folded her hands nicely in her lap and smiled sweetly at Edward. "You know I'm going to get you back, right?"
"I'm shaking in my wet swimming trunks," he said, making himself shiver for effect.
Bella protested in mock annoyance. "No fair! I wanted to make you shake like that."
He wound his arms around her, squeezed her, and shivered again, shaking her with him as he kissed her temple. Bella cringed and giggled.
Before they realized what was happening, Rosalie was hovering over them. She grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her up as soon as Edward released her and before he could say anything. "Come on Bella, there's a boutique here in Destin I need to check out for some items for the wedding. No time better than the present to get that done."
"Hey—" Edward protested. "But it's my birthday weekend!"
"She's my maid of honor and I need her, now. We'll see you guys in a couple of hours." And with that she turned to walk away, Bella trailing helplessly along with her. "Payback is a bitch, isn't it, Edward?"
~888~
Bella and Rosalie had been gone three and a half hours before Edward began to worry, and he called Bella's cell. It was about a half hour before they had all agreed to go out to dinner together, and they weren't back. Bella didn't pick up. Ben, Angela, Alice, and Jasper were playing cards at the dining table, while he and Emmett were half watching a basketball game on television.
"Hey, wonder what's keeping them so long," Edward said. "I'm going to kill Rosalie."
"Then I'd have to kill you, then Bella would kill me, then she'd probably go to jail. And you know how bad those women's prisons are. Before you know it, she'd be claimed as somebody's jailhouse bitch, cuz she looks so good and all. Mama Swan would bankrupt the Swan coffers trying to get her out of prison, and Rev. Swan would die of a broken heart."
Edward looked at Emmett as if he had lost his mind. "You are sick, you know this, right?"
"I just have a vivid imagination," he said and turned back to the TV.
Edward moved to the table and watched the others play cards. Ben was quiet until you got him in a good card game. Somehow this brought the trash talker out of him, and apparently he and Angela were trouncing Alice and Jasper in a game of Uno.
"Come on, Jasper—play, man. I'll be gentle on you this time," Ben was saying. When Jasper played, Ben slapped his card so hard on the table, it rattled. "Oops, I lied," he said, sniggering so loudly, he snorted at the end. Angela rolled her eyes as she threw the couple cards in she had left. While Ben was raking all the cards in to shuffle and deal them, Angela looked up at Edward.
"Did you get Bella on her cell?" she asked, a bit of worry creasing her brow.
"No," he said. "She didn't pick up."
"Rosalie's probably trying on fifty dresses." Alice then mumbled so Emmett couldn't hear, "I told you, she's gonna be a Bridezilla."
"Well, Bridezilla or not, she'd better get Bella back here, and soon. We go to dinner in—" he looked at his watch "—twenty minutes, now."
At that moment, Emmett's cell rang. All eyes turned to him.
"Hey babe," he said in his only volume: loud. "You need to get Bella back here before Edward has a cow or—WHAT! Where are you right now? Okay, we're on our way."
All the blood drained from Edward's face.
~888~
E/N: This chapter is dedicated to my betas, who work tirelessly alongside me every chapter to get updates to you. They are not paid for this work monetarily, but I try my best to pay them each time with my appreciation, my loyalty, and my love. To SSHG316, Charmie77, acireamos and SavageWoman I say: Thank You.