He'd cried in front of a girl.
Bro was gonna kill him.
How stupid could he be?! It was like he was little and had a nightmare and needed Bro to comfort him. What a baby. He was a man, dammit! How could he even trust her? She might go blabbing to everyone!
His phone rang in the mess of his apartment, and he waded through the kitchen, vaguely remembering Roxy making him hot chocolate.
"Hello?" he asked, snapping his phone open. Ten-thirty in the goddamn morning? Who the hell was up?!
"Hellooooooo sleepyhead!" I thought you'd never wake up!" Roxy chirped, obviously tipsy.
"It's too earlyyy," he whined, "I have a broken heart. Go away. Why are you drunk already?"
"Cuz. We're marathoning My Little Pony today. Drink every time Rainbow Dash is an asshole?"
"Fuck you, Dash is the best."
"Uh-huh, sure. Come over? Pleeeaassseee? We can make sundaes! Ooh, and cupcakes. Let's make cupcakes!" She said excitedly, "Pink and orange ones!"
He couldn't help chuckling. "What am I, your new gay best friend?"
"Yup!"
"I'm not gay, fyi. Just bi, I think. Jakesexual?" How was he so casual about jake? Wasn't he bawling the other night? What the hell was up? "I don't have my shades on."
"Don't need 'em! I've seen your eyes, pretty boy. Stop being so conceited, share them to the world and get your ass over here!" She hung up giggling, and Dirk shook his head, a small smile forming. How did he become friends with such a crazy-ass girl?
She better make some damn good cupcakes.
"Why do you have so much Avril Lavigne?" He asked incredulously, examining her CD rack. "The Slumber party Girls, P!nk, Fifth Harmony, do you have any non-girly music?" He shuffled through the CD's again, hoping desperately for Nirvana or Train. No luck.
"Nope!" she called from the kitchen, clattering pots. Chickie was invested in her cupcakes shit.
"Is this old school Hannah Montana?" He asked, eyeing the pink CD cover.
"Ooh! We're listening to that!" Roxy exclaimed, darting out of the kitchen and snatching the CD.
"Oh sweet jesus, tell me you're kidding," He groaned, facepalming.
"Don't pretend you didn't like her back in the day, Mr. Strider!"
"Back in the day is very different than now," he complained, "Is your mom gonna care?"
Roxy snorted, nearly dropping the bag of flour she was carrying. "My mom? Care? Ahahahaha, no. She's not even home now. Like usual. I don't know what the hell she's doing..."
"That sounds lonel-"
"Get your ass in here and lift this flour dude! It's soooooo heavy!" She pouted, thumping it on the floor.
"Okay, okay. Calm your tits." he muttered, strolling into the kitchen. "Holy fifties. Are those pastels? My god."
Roxy shrugged. "Jane helped my mom design it. Janey loooves her pastels."
"Uh-huh, and the bright pink oven mitts were whose idea?" Dirk dangled them above her head.
"...That's different."
"Suuure."
She quickly began mixing the ingredients, reading from her laptop screen. She was no baking heiress, but she did crack her eggs efficiently. She must have done quite a bit of baking. The bowl was shoved at Dirk, as well as the pink whisk. Could she be any more girly?
"Mix. Please." Roxy marched to the powder blue and lilac cupboards, pulling out food coloring and cupcake cups.
Orange and red.
The icing was made orange also, while she dyed the batter a sultry flamingo pink. Ok, maybe Hannah Montana isn't so bad, Dirk thought, swishing his hips to the beat.
Jake's face swam to his mind. With a start, he remembered the night before. Had he really not thought of him for an hour? For years his every waking moment was spent thinking about him. This kitchen, this girl, had made him forget...
The thought excited and terrified him. His love for Jake defined him. Without that, who was he? Just a random dude that built robots? he glanced at Roxy, holding back a laugh when he saw her dancing. The dance really wasn't all that bad. It was actually really good, but her stern expression killed it.
"What are you doing?" He queried, as she swung her stiff hair. When did she find time to do hairspray and makeup so early?
"I tried out for cheerleading once." She said quietly, looking down. "This is the dance they taught us. It was freshman year, but even as a junior, I remember it perfectly."
"Did you get it?"
Roxy turned away, holding an orange wrapper in her now shaking hand. "Nah, I didn't."
Oh...She was obviously still incredibly sensitive about it. To remember a dance perfectly two years later..? She must have practiced it tons. What the hell, I thought she was supposed to be this drunk out-of-it space cadet. Now she's focused too?
"Your house is so clean," he tried, mentally slapping himself. "Your house is so clean"?! Idiot! "Your mom must be proud of her hard work.
"Actaully, actually, I do it." She corrected, pouring the batter into cups. "My mom is either out writing or in her room writing."
"Do you write?" He asked curiously. It has to run in the family.
"A little," she admitted, sliding the pan of cupcakes into the oven, "But it's more like...abstract poetry, y'know? Not wizardy adventures. Well, I write a little of that too, but then I tried to write when I was drunk and it all went to shit."
He nodded, absent mindedly rifling through her cabinets for sprinkles. Roxy really wasn't all that bad, once you got o know her, and she wasn't piss-drunk like she seemed. She was pretty cool, and Striders did not use that word lightly.
Besides, she got extra points for not mentioning the day before. Crying in front of a girl, how stupid could he get?! And over a 'broken heart'! He scoffed to himself. Just 'cuz Jake is nice and handsome and has those damn green eyes, and is kawaii as fuck doesn't mean I have to waste tears on him, right? Jake could be just a buddy!
Yeah, that doesn't change the fact that if the situation was flipped, and Roxy had rejected you, he would be there for you, a little voice reminded him.
Yeah right. I wouldn't let Roxy tear me up like that! I don't think of her like that anyway. We're buddies too. He pulled out the green and blue sprinkles, wincing at the color scheme. The whole universe was rubbing it in his face.
Remember when Jake listened to you complain and cry about Bro for hours? Remember that?
Shut up.
And when he spent six solid months ebay-ing the complete Rainbow Dash Collection for your birthday?
Shut up!
Or at the first party of eighth grade, you guys were in the spin the bottle game? His lips were so warm...and yours so eager...
SHUT UP!
And you've been in love with him ever since...
"Shut up!" he roared, slamming his hands on the counter. The house trembled and he turned around to see a shell-shocked Roxy. Her eyes were wide with fear, and her small mouth quivered.
She was scared.
"Shit, Rox, it's not you," he took a few steps toward her, but she skittered back. "I'm sorry. I'm angry at myself, not at you."
"You're not...mad at me?" She whispered faintly. It surprised him to see her like this, terrified and vulnerable. Were people normally mad at her?
"Of course not," He hugged her tightly. "Don't be a dumbass. I'm so proud of you. How could I possibly be mad at you?"
Roxy shrugged, but didn't shy away from the hug. "I dunno. People are. Boys. They're either mad or frustrated or don't like me in general...I'm used to it."
Dirk rubbed her arms, marveling at how cold she was. This damn house was like a crypt! "What do you mean?"
"Well, um, Zack... he said that I was too hezi, hesitant, around him. An' Tavros cheated on me...Rufioh..." she laughed wryly, "Rufioh was my next door neighbor. He was my first kiss actually...but only 'cuz I kissed him. And then he told me he liked Horuss...that's when I started drinkin' full on."
Oh god... "Oh."
She nodded weakly. "Janey didn't like it. No one did." Roxy nestled her head in the crook of Dirk's neck, and her warm breath was too calm to follow a story like that.
"That's awful," Dirk murmured, "Rox, I'm so sor-"
"Ah shit!" She yelped, "The cupcakes are burning!" She frantically pulled them out, flinching when she forgot to put oven mitts on before trying to touch the pan. The pink beauties were unharmed, and Roxy smiled proudly as she stuck her hands under the faucet.
"Perfect."
"You are not serious." Dirk deadpanned as Roxy patted the white couch. "You're not gonna make me watch this, are you?!"
"C'mon Dirky! Baka and Test is amazing!" She bit into an orange-frosted cupcake, "Sit with meeee!"
"Who said you could call me Dirky?" he grumbled, reluctantly sprawling out next to her. Damn, this is a nice couch.
"AR did!" Roxy said giddily, snuggling closer to him as the beginning theme started. She had it memorized well enough to sing along...in japanese.
"You're been talking to AR?!" Rox, are you kidding!? What has the bastard told you?!" Dirk demanded.
She shrugged. "Nuthin' much. Shtuff 'bout Jakey. And he's an awpfully good listener!"
"Are you drunk? Tell me you didn't spike the cupcakes."
"Only one, I prromise! And it was only thiiiiiiiiise muche! Much." She held her fingers apart to show how tiny.
"Uhuh, sure. Whatever."
Flopping over so she was in his lap, Roxy stared up at him, pink eyes wide. She patted his face and Dirk wondered again why he didn't just destroy her liquor supply while she wasn't looking. Although the face pats were kind of cute. Platonically.
"Dirky, do you shave?"
"Yeah."
She giggled to herself. "Smexy," she whispered, breaking into laughter again. Within minutes, she was asleep on his lap, unsurprisngly.
When was the last time she'd gone to bed without being in a drunken stupor? The last time she'd slept without nightmares? Did she even eat normally? Probably not, not without a mom to cook shit. She had to become an adult alone, way earlier than she should have had to. And had been through so much bullshit along the way.
So, being rejected over and over wasn't worse than having a terminal disease or anything, but god, Dirk knew it hurt. A lot. And with only Jane to pick her up when she got knocked down...
She must have been so alone. It was admirable really. With her inner strength, Roxy could be a president. Or a prosecutor. Something important and smart. But her heart hurt, so she drank her intelligence away, because there was nothing else to help her.
Dirk had to fix that.
TT: Alright. What did you tell her?
TT: Nothing important. Lots of Jake shit. Bro. Ranted about the RainbowShy ship.
TT: You forget talking to me is talking to another you, only younger. She's very sympathetic for a drunken teen.
TT: What did she tell you?
TT: I'm not telling.
TT: Oh my god. Really? You wanna do this?
TT: I care about her more than you do. Have your Strider shades made you blind? You can't see anything but Jake!
TT: What the hell do you mean?
TT: I mean, until you can see what's right in front of you, her secrets are staying secrets.
TT: Goodbye Dirk.
Yay more chapters. Thank you so much for your reviews, I missed seeing the notifications in my inbox! Please review this one and let me know what you think! (It's unusually long, ehehehe)