"Lunaaaaa… can we pleeeease stop hiking now? I'm tired!" Tony moaned, his eyelids drooping in sleepiness.
The insane girl giggled,
"Of course, silly! We just reached our camp!"
The Iron Man's eyes lit up automatically,
"YEEEEES! Wait, where is it?!"
Luna laughed again,
"Right here, you dumbass!" she insulted him with a happy little giggle.
Everyone looked around in confusion. There wasn't any kind of cam-site around them, for they were only in the middle of a rather large clearing with short grass and a few rocks and old logs here-and there.
"I don't see what you mean," Tony said, "Where's the log-cabin resort? All I see is a bunch of dirt- OHMYGODWHY?!" he screamed in fear as a mushroom struck him in the face which had been thrown by a now very angry blue-head.
"THIS IS WHERE WE'RE CAMPING YOU ASSHOLE F'N DEAL WITH IT!"
"But it's scary!" the playboy complained as he looked around, and he was right. The sky was dark, despite it only being about six-thirty and the only light was the full-moon which had a strange red tinge in it. There were dark, thick shadows upon the parts of the wet ground that wasn't shrouded in cold grey mist and although they didn't say it out loud as they tried to think that it was just their minds playing tricks on them, everyone of the campers had seen a tall, faceless man with shadowy tendrils coming out of his back, but it was only for an instant they thought this as his image had been replaced by a scraggly tree.
"No one cares, Tony. We'll only have to sleep here for a night before we can see Luna's surprise and get back to the tower. Besides, I thought you weren't scared of nature? Or are you?" Maya told the Iron Man.
He looked at her unsurely, before telling her,
"Fine! But only for tonight! And for the last time I. Am. Not. Scared. Of. NATURE! OHMYGODITTOUCHEDME!"
Maya POV
"Pardon me, Lady Barton, but may I have a word with you?" Thor asked me politely as I looked up from the sleeping bag I was laying down in the tent that Luna, Beckett, Tasha, and I would be sleeping in.
"Yeah, what is it?" I questioned him.
He looked at me unsurely,
"Well… you are my friend, yes?" Well do freakin' duh.
"Yeah…"
"And you care for Lady Luna, do you not?"
I nodded, Gosh, how stupid is he?
"Of course I do! She's my best friend in the universe; she's actually more like a sister than anything else!"
"That is good! Very good! Now, I am trying to make something happen, but I ask for your permission first before I set my plan in motion as you seem to be the one most in charge of Lady Luna with you being not only her best friend, but her warden due to her… sanity issues-"
"I don't see where this is going," I told my blond friend with confusion in my voice, what the hell is he up to?
He took a deep breath,
"I would like… to perhaps try to get Lady Luna to be Loki's 'girlfriend' as the people on Midgard say. I think it would be good for him! Pleasedon'tkillme!"
I looked at him blankly, before a smile spread across my face,
"That's a wonderful idea! Maybe if they get together, Loki will be less angry all the time and Luna might actually get a bit of her sanity back! All though now that I think about it that probably won't happen because I highly doubt she had any sanity to start with…" I said, becoming sidetracked.
Thor grinned,
"Perfect! And you will help me, yes?"
I nodded,
"Of course! But there is one thing."
"What is it?" Thor asked.
My smiling face suddenly became shadowed, and my eyes shone with a fiery danger, causing Thor to gulp,
"If this plan fails, and Luna is unhappy, I swear to God I will kill you and Loki. I will tie you down and pour boiling acid over your faces as you wither in pain as your feet have rust-covered nails into them. And this is after you both have those mushrooms Luna was collecting. Raw."
Thor nodded vigorously,
"C-certainly, Lady Barton. Not a tear of sadness due to Loki or I will fall upon Lady Luna's face, I swear it."
My face brightened up again as if I had never spoken of the torturous acts that would reach the two brothers. That was one thing Luna and I could do brilliantly; random mood swings. And describing violent torture scenes.
No POV
"DINNER TIME YOU GROPERS!" Luna screamed from the middle of camp where she had set up a fire pit with crackling flames in its center that was right by a pot of the mush worm filled mushrooms.
"There is no way that I'm eating tha-"Tony was suddenly cut off by Luna shoving a spoonful of sautéed mushrooms into his mouth. For a moment, his eyes were wide with fear, before a look of pure bliss came over his face, "Oh my god… this is so good! Please let me have it all!"
Luna shook her head,
"No way! We only have enough for everyone, and I can't have you guys starving! That's my job!" she giggled as she skipped over to her blue and white striped backpack, producing eighteen blue plastic bowls and spoons that she began filling with the mushrooms.
A few people still looked hesitant, but some (mainly Thor) gobbled it all up in a matter of seconds.
"ANOTHER!" the Thunder god shouted, and through his bowl onto the grassy ground, but it simply wouldn't break like the Asgardian had planned it to.
In about thirty minutes, everyone had finished and placed their bowls next to them on the ground. Well, everyone that was except for Loki.
"Brother, you must eat!" Thor said worriedly as he tried to hand a bowl of mushrooms to Loki.
"One, I'm not your brother," the God snapped, "Two, I'm immortal, I don't have to eat, and Three, you know I hate mushrooms."
"I'll eat them!" Tony shouted, reaching for the bowl with a large smile, but it quickly disappeared when the blonde pulled it away from him.
Thor turned back to his 'brother',
"Loki, just eat the mushrooms, Lady Luna worked very hard to make this food for us, show her some respect!"
Loki turned to look at the blue-haired girl who he knew was trying to make him feel bad by doing her classic 'kicked puppy' look with her eyes going extra big and glassy, and making her lip tremble sadly.
Then he looked at Maya who was sitting next to her friend looking at him with her 'make Lu-lu cry and getting smashed by the hulk will be the equivalent of Sir Fluffersberg giving you a butterfly kiss compared to what I'll do to you'.
He then decided that Maya was scary and Luna looked to be on the verge of creating the next Niagara Falls and that he should just eat.
"Fine, I'll have the mushrooms," he snapped as he ate a small spoonful, and was surprised that it actually tasted… good. But there was no way that he was going to let them know that, so he placed a slightly sour look on his face before placing his bowl on the ground that in almost no time at all had been snatched up by Stark and completely devoured.
"So… what now? Bigfoot hunting?" Castle asked, actually not that sarcastically as he got up from the log he was sitting on, grabbed his walking stick and began heading off into the forest.
Luna shook her head,
"No, I already did that last week. I had to put chloroform in his tea so I could knock him out, cut him open, and steal his kidneys. Don't worry, I replaced them with rock salt and pears, so I'm sure he'll be fine!" it was no secret that her attempt at reassuring everyone that the mythical Sasquatch was completely healthy and that a fruit and salt was a wonderful replacement for some of the body's most vital parts.
"Is she usually like this?" Esposito asked Steve.
He sighed,
"Unfortunately, it's worse."
It was then that Esposito realized that Luna was totally and completely insane. He thought Maya was bad, but damn.
"Heeeeeeeey guuuuuuys." Maya said getting up from the table with an "I'm trying to look innocent but I actually have a really evil plan" look on her face.
"We should all sing campfire songs!" she said with a huge smile plastered on her face.
"Ah, hell no! Your songs are-"Clint was saying when Maya broke down into tears.
"You n-never w-w-want to do anything I-I w-want to d-do. I-I thought y-you l-loved me. I thought y-you w-were m-my brother" She cried tears streaming down her face while Luna went over to comfort her red-headed friend.
"I-"Clint tried to say, but was cut off by a certain assassin.
"Nice. Clint. Always thinking about you. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A SELFISH PIG?" Tasha yelled at him and also going over to comfort Maya.
"Ok, you guys can sing, but-"
"YAY! I love you sooooooo much Clint!" Maya squealed happily, running over to the Hawk and tackling him into a giant bear hug.
"Get. Off. Me," he tried to say as he felt the air leaving his lungs.
"Sorry." The young assassin said jumping off her brother.
"Can we at least not sing campfires songs though?" asked The Doctor looking at the girl.
"What do ya mean?" asked the red-head, clearly confused by the time lord's words.
"We should sing regular songs by like Ke$ha and people."
"OMFG! That's a fabulous idea! We can have a Glee-over!"
"No that's-"
"YAY! Grab my stereo! Lets PAAAAARTAY!" Maya said running into her tent to grab her GIANT stereo.
"Oh, great. Look what you did. Now all the girls are going to Gleek out on us." Complained the Roman, Who has a problem with Amy's Gleekness back at home.
"YAY! GLEEEEEEE!" yelled Tony and Steve going to join the overly excited girls.
The Hawk looked over at them with huge fearful eyes,
"Ok, I'm officially scarred for life."
Luna then bolted up from her seat and stood on it so that she was now slightly taller than everyone else, drawing the attention to her,
"Okay guys! I figured out all the songs we're gonna sing! Maya's gonna be the ref! And by that I just mean she's gonna say random stuff and yeah! OPRESSION!" she screamed to the sky that was mostly blocked by the trees.
"Alright I'm gonna split us into 3 teams of 6! K?" Maya said while everyone nodded nervously.
"Luna, Clint, River, Castle, Steve, and Amy, will be team number 1! Me, Loki, Beckett, Tony, Jack, and Esposito will be Team 2! And the final team will be Ryan, Tasha, Rory, 11, Thor, and Sir Fluffersberg! KK!''
Cries of complaint and anger came from the group like of wave of hatred,
"Sis, I refuse to be with this sociopath!"
"My-My! He's the reason why I didn't get to see you for several thousand years!"
"Ugh, you guys are such babies!" Tasha yelled, grabbing all the guys (and a bunny) in her group and pulling them into a team huddle.
Ok, the girls in the groups will be singing first so Lu-Lu's team is going first and singing Heads Will Roll by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs!"
Luna, River and Amy jumped in delight and walked to the center of the campsite with their team.
"Off with your head. Danc-dance- dance 'til you're dead." Luna began to sing at the top of her lungs.
When the song finally ended everyone clapped, surprised that the wolf-girl could actually sing.
"K! Now, My AWESOME group is going to sing La La Land by Demi Lovato." She said obviously very upset with the song choice.
Beckett started to sing the song with a surprisingly awesome voice.
"I am confident but I still have my moments, Baby that's just me." Beckett kept singing when Maya finally joined her.
"Who said I couldn't wear my Converse with my dress?"
They finally stopped singing and everyone started cheering for the new group.
"You think THAT was amazing? Watch this." Tasha said jumping onto the nearest log and started sing Misery by Maroon 5.
Everyone stared in silence as the master assassin rocked the 'stage' like nobody's freakin' business.
When she finished the amazing performance. Everyone cheered as Maya and Luna glared at the assassin, angry that she was better than them. Unless, of course, the two joined forces in a duet!
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Lu-lu?" Maya asked with a smirked.
She nodded,
"Oh yeah. Do the duet then hunt down Bigfoot and help him replace his kidneys with rotten potatoes and milk with a pinch of pepper-"
"No Luna, duet only. Okay?"
The blue girl sighed,
"Fine. But can we at least-"
"No."
"But what if-"
"No, Luna. Listen, I love you like a sister, but I don't really think hunting down an ancient creature that, because you know it, it's probably another one of your demon friends and will try to kill you if it's not dead yet, then I'll have to save you. Again!"
Luna sighed,
"Okay, but may I just say that the only reason why I stole his kidneys, was because of my brother Jack! So don't blame me!" she pouted.
"Fine, but when we get out of here you owe me a cake!"
"'Kay 'kay!" Luna said happily.
"HEY GUYS!" Maya yelled, and everyone turned to look at her just as she'd planned, "Luna and I are joining up in a duet against Tasha to see who the best singer is. Okay?"
Everyone nodded, and Maya turned up her stereo up and I Need Your Love by Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding came on.
Maya started with a smile on her face, since she likes the creepy song about love, time, and being high.
"I need your love. I need your time. When everything's wrong, you make it right-"
Then Luna cut in just as passionate as Maya was singing
"I feel so high. I come alive. I need to be free with you tonight. I need your love."
When came to the last lyric they sang it together sounding like fallen angels that came to save the world from the horror of Justin Bieber and One Direction.
"I need to be free." Everyone started cheering until they realized they had to choose between them and Tasha who was starting to sing Hips Don't Lie by Shakira.
"Oh, baby when you talk like that you make a woman go mad. So be wise and keep on reading the signs of my body."
Everyone started rocking out as once again the agent sang better than any pop star ever possibly could.
When she finished everyone started looking between her and the two best friends wondering who they should choose.
Suddenly Luna started breaking down into tears.
"Oh g-go ahead p-pick N-Natasha. She w-was so m-much b-better than UUUUUUUUSSSSS!" she screamed the last word as Maya pulled her bestie into a hug trying to comfort her.
Maya looked up realizing their plan was working since she could tell everyone was feeling bad for the demon child.
"Um, as the oldest-" Thor began
"Ahem, I believe I, the 1000 year old time lord, am the oldest." The Doctor walked into the center cleared his throat and announced the winner.
"I believe since the song was erm amazing and they harmonized perfectly. Maya and Luna win."
The two best friends squealed in delight while jumping up and down. Luna's tears suddenly disappeared as if the little drops of salty water had never touched her tan cheeks.
Maya walked to the center.
"Now each team please choose one guy from your group to sing for the men's portion of this competition," she told them.
After everyone chose their singing contestant, Maya announced it to the whole group,
"Okay, Castle from group one, Tony my group, and Rory will be competing. NOW DIE!" she screamed angrily, making the boys jump up in fear, "Don't worry, I'm just kidding… except for you Stark!"
Maya switched on her speaker, and on came Only Hope by Mandy Moore.
"There's a song that's insiiiide of my sooooul," he sang, "It's the song that I've triiiiied, to write over and over agaaaain."
Castle wasn't a bad singer, but he wasn't good either. Everyone decided to be nice, and clapped (except for Loki).
"I bet Stark's gonna sing some song about science, or Barbies," Hawkeye snickered.
Then the heavy metal tune of Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace came pounding out of Maya's stereo.
"I can't escape this hell. So many times I've tried. But I'm still caged insiiiide." Tony began singing as everyone stared at him in a shocked silence.
When he finished the song everyone clapped with fake smiles plastered on their faces trying to hide the fear of what Tony has finally become.
The genius walked off stage and sat down next to Steve who scooted away from the man.
Rory finally walked on stage confident he would win this for his wonderful (and evil) wife Amy.
"High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life. Fight fear the selfish pain, it was worth every time."
Once again a shocked silence fell through the Whovengers. However, Rory was quite enjoying this song and he actually good voice.
"Don't speak as I try to leave cause we both know what we'll choose." He looked straight at Amy as he sung that line with all the passion and love he could muster.
When the song finally ended, Amy ran to her husband and hugged him as tight as she could. At that moment all the Whovengers had tears in their eyes (except for Loki).
"You mortals and your stupid emotions." Mumbled the god.
"Ok now we have to choose who will be EXTERMINATED from –"Maya started but was cut off
"DALEK!" screamed the Doctors and they ran into their tent.
"Um well, I was going to say that Castle, I'm sorry, but you must leave."
"Ok, Thanks anyway Maya." Said the writer as he walked off to his tent, Beckett not long after him.
"Now! Stark and Rory will be competing to see who will win. And the girls will be choosing to songs you will sing."
After the girls huddled together they broke up and Maya walked back to the center again.
"K. So, Stark will start off by singing Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae!"
Stark was surprised by this pick since it actually suited him perfectly and wasn't embarrassing.
After Stark sang everyone cheered for the playboy who could actually sing.
"WOW! Good job Stark now Rory you will be finishing off tonight's sing-off with Toxic by Brittany Spears.
"Really Amy?" he said knowing this was one of the ginger's favorite songs. And Rory began singing and towards the middle he began dancing.
Everyone cheered for the swaggy Roman.
At the end everyone was debating who would win.
Finally after everyone had a loooooooong chat about who should when they came to a decision.
"Well after a lot of talking-"Maya began
"And drinking!" Yelled Tony holding up his bottle of Vodka
"The winner is RORY!" Everyone cheered while Tony sat down pouting very sad that he didn't win the competition.
Suddenly a very loud snore came from the other side of camp and everyone saw Loki passed out on a log in a very uncomfortable position.
Maya grinned evilly and walked over to the sleeping god.
She grabbed a burning hot piece of metal and sat by the Loki. She pulled up the sleeve on his shirt and wrote Property of SHEILD in big thick letters onto his arm.
He suddenly lurched and started screaming as she finished her work.
Luna ran over and tried to stop her but it was too late. Loki just got a new tattoo (his first actually).
"How dare you do this to me!" Loki yelled at Maya with unimaginable anger swimming through his eyes.
"Maya!" Luna said, now angry at her friend.
"What?" Maya asked, "He's a god! He'll just heal in, like, what? A couple of days?" she questioned lightly with a shrug.
Loki glared at the red-head,
"I swear, you will regret this day, mortal!"
Tony raised an eyebrow,
"Okay, I know that pretty much all of us hate the guy, but that's just mean!"
"Can't you just use your weird magic stuff to make it go away?" Jack asked.
"No," Loki growled, "I would, but Odin took it away except for minor spells, and healing a 'tattoo' as you call it takes an advanced healing spell!" he snapped, rubbing his arm and wincing in pain.
"What about Thor?" Steve asked.
The thunder god shook his head,
"Although I am a very powerful being, Loki is one of the only Asgardians that studied magic for a living. The most I could do would be to give him a bandage."
"So, you're pretty much stuck like that?" questioned Amy.
The black-haired man nodded, still glaring at Maya who everyone could tell was doing her best not to laugh.
"I can do it," Luna suddenly said, "If he wants me to, I can heal him."
Everyone looked at her, confused.
"You know magic?" Loki questioned, clearly not believing her, and she nodded.
"Yeah, of course I do. But who said I was going to use magic? Anyways, do you want your tattoo gone or not?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
Loki looked at her for a few moments, contemplating if he should let the girl be in charge of his health before sighing and saying to her,
"Fine, but if this turns out to be worse than it is now, I swear-"
"Yeah yeah, you'll through me into a pit of doom and destruction so I can die all sad and alone. Whatever, more terrible things have happened," she said as she kneeled down on the ground next to him.
"Luna," Thor said a bit unsurely now, "Please don't harm him, alright?"
She giggled lightly,
"Don't worry, all I'm gonna do is shut off the part in his brain that feels pain, and then, cut off the skin on his arm, and then rapidly grow it back!"
Natasha raised an eyebrow,
"And how exactly do you plan to do that?"
Luna laughed,
"I already have!"
Everyone looked at Loki's arm to see that indeed, his embarrassing tattoo was gone.
"How'd you do that?' Beckett asked in amazement.
Luna looked at her curiously,
"I just told you."
Loki touched his arm lightly before looking at the blue-haired girl,
"Thank you."
Only she noticed the smallest twitch in the corner of his mouth. The smallest of smirks was returned with the wide Cheshire-cat grin of the demon girl, who was so happy that here teeth had turned pointed and shark-like.
Looking at the two, Maya smirked.
She hated Loki, that was for certain, but Thor was one of her best friends, and Luna was basically her sister, so she had to do the right thing and play matchmaker. Oh, goody.