A/N: My lord, this is a long chapter. There are probably like, ten different places i could've cut it off, but in my head, I had always planned twenty chapters (not counting the first intro chapter) and it is really hard to come back from that, haha. So uh, settle in. You've got like, an hour of reading ahead of you! (seriously - most of my chapters average 4-5k words. This one has 13.5k)
Other things to remember - this is rated T so far, not M. It gets a bit steamy, but nothing too sexual happens. Don't worry your innocent little minds. (I might have an M version later of the last chapter.) Adult language though, so just let me know if you think I swear enough to bump it to M. Oh yeah, and duh - there is one more chapter after this. And an epilogue. (Which totally does NOT count towards the 20 chapters, right?)
Songs used in this chapter are: Spin Around, by Josie and the Pussycats (a cinematic masterpiece if I do say so myself) and Imperfect, by Saving Jane. It mentions Wishing I Was There and Home again, but I didn't think it necessary to put those lyrics in here. This chapter (novel? It is so long and I really am sorry about that) has everything - some UST, some angst, some romance, some drama, some….everything. It has everything. I hope you like it and are ready for the next chapter!
Again, I own nothing. I do want to own Tim Rozon, though.
Chapter 19
"Up and at 'em, Little Tommy Q."
Tommy awoke slowly, partly convinced he was still dreaming. Jude was between his legs, hovering above his bare torso by only a few inches, lazily dropping kisses on his chest. As she leaned down and nipped his hip bone, he couldn't help but to jerk slightly.
"Not so Little after all, I guess," Jude teased in a husky whisper. Tommy was clothed in just his boxers which unfortunately did not nothing to conceal the state she was putting him in currently. His head lolled to the side as he felt her tongue dip below his waistband; he was unable to form thoughts or words at that moment. His eyes widened as she sucked lightly on the skin beneath his hip, but as his eyes widened, he became cognisant of their situation instantly.
"Is that the time?" His wide eyes took in the bedside clock, the numbers loud and bold.
"Probably," Jude muttered distractedly, trying to figure out the easiest way to divest him from his boxers.
"We have to be at G Major in twenty minutes," he told her, reluctantly lifting her away from where the both wanted her to be. Yet he didn't think through his plan entirely, as she was now straddling his chest in nothing but an oversized tshirt and her underwear.
"We can be late." She leaned down and kissed him slow and languidly, in no rush for anything.
Tommy's protest died before they even made it to his lips as his hands instinctively landed on her hips, moving under her shirt of their own accord. About two inches below where she wanted them to desperately be, he realized what he was doing and slowly retracted his hands. She whimpered a protest against his lips, which almost drove him to continue his actions.
"We have to get ready," he told her breathlessly.
"Or we can be late, like I suggested." Jude lifted her hips and repositioned herself conveniently atop him, drawing a frustrated groan from him.
"Jude, we can't…"
"Why not?" She sat up on him, suddenly serious. This was a question that had been bothering her for the last week. For as physical as Tommy was, he was refusing to take that next step with her, despite her knowing that his body wanted it, if not his mind.
Tommy wiped a hand over his face, trying to get his bearings and remember his reasoning. It certainly wasn't easy with the girl of his dreams sitting on him, doing things to him that he had only fantasized about previously.
"Jude, this thing between us? It's real. Really real. And you know that. And when things do get...even more real, I want it to be because we both want it. I don't want it to be because you have a stalker after you and you're stuck living with me and thing are out of your control…"
She remained silent, taking in his words. They made sense - to a degree - but she couldn't help but feel as if he was taking this decision out of her hands. He was seeing her as this fragile little girl who was confused and unsure of herself, which, while she certainly felt that way in some arenas of her life, this was not one of them.
"Okay," she said finally.
"Okay?" He echoed. "That's it?" He found himself asking the same question he had asked the day before. Would this girl never cease to surprise him? He expected a rant, a protest, or hell, even a full blown seduction attempt.
"If you think that's for the best, then okay." He opened his mouth to thank her when she continued. "But Tommy...I know what I want. And I like to think I know what you want, too." She ground herself against him, causing him to involuntarily bite his lip, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.
"And I know its hard to understand right now," she whispered in his ear, her breath tickling his neck. "But maybe I want things to be a little out of my control."
And with that, she was up and off of him, sashaying to the bathroom, Tommy's eyes following her every movement.
He had expected her to be a little mad at him, even standoffish, but the Jude that emerged from the shower acted as if nothing had changed. They made their way to G Major in the convoy they had now become accustomed to, her hand atop his on the gear shift, and he had to admit that perhaps, not for the first time, he had misread Jude Harrison.
They had just finished going through their first of what would many meetings with Darius that week. Jude was forced to give him a list of people she felt comfortable with at G Major, and Tommy was, as predicted, forced to deal with an irate Darius.
"Don't worry about it, Angel," Bear slid into a chair next to her as Tommy followed Darius to his office with an apologetic look to Jude. "He doesn't want to admit that there could be a leak here, but that is only his pride talking. I won't let his pride get in the way of your safety."
"Thanks, Bear," she rested her head on his bulky forearm next to her. It was going to be a long week.
She wasn't wrong. Tuesday, her and Tommy had spent at the penthouse, their last day alone before things kicked into overdrive for the album launch party. They relished that last bit of sanity, and even had lunch with Katherine, who was staying in town for the next week or so. But Wednesday had been meetings and rehearsals constantly, and by Thursday, it seemed as if G Major had been the victim of a tornado. Aside from the lingering doubt that there could be someone there who was working against her, Jude only felt safe at the penthouse and at the studio. It was good to see familiar faces and as much as she loved Tommy, it was nice to get some time apart from him while still remaining in the same building. So while it was one of the crazier places in the eastern Canadian region, it was still nice for her to be able to spend time there.
She was just leaving Portia's area of G Major after her last - hopefully - fitting for her dress for the party when she heard someone calling her name. Or, more accurately, someone yelling her name. Even if she hadn't recognized the voice she wouldn't have been too concerned; security inside G Major was tighter than Fort Knox. She rolled her eyes and continued to the foyer of G Major. If she was going to have this conversation, and it certainly seemed as if she was going to, she needed her couch. Besides, Tommy was locked away in Studio A with SME, which meant she was going to need all the comfort she could get. The sunshine bathed the couch in warmth and she flopped down onto it, closing her eyes and getting ready for the storm.
"What the fuck, Jude?"
"Can I help you, Jamie?"
"Can you help me? Are you kidding me?"
She cracked her eyes open to see her former best friend standing above her, hands on his hips, looking more than a little irate.
"Let's pretend for a second I don't know what you're mad about."
"This is rich, coming from you, who always tries to seem above it all. Guess you're not above being petty, huh Jude?"
"Jamie, I really don't know what you're talking about." Tommy was right when he said that there was no memo going around G Major regarding the short list of people who had access to Jude's life now, so, despite her deep seated guilt regarding it, she felt confident that Jamie wasn't mad about being cut out of her life.
"I thought you were better than this."
"Jamie. What are you talking about?"
"Really? You want to pretend you had nothing to do with my girlfriend not being able to come to your album release party tomorrow?"
"Your girlfriend?" It took her a minute to comprehend fully, but she quickly did. "The intern."
While to Jamie, it looked as if Jude had made a point to try and screw him over and get his girlfriend uninvited to the party of the year at G Major, to Jude, it was something entirely different. The interns were some of the first people that she was quick to judge as untrustworthy. Not because of any of their actions - not even Jamie's girlfriend's borderline slutty actions - but because she barely knew them. She would see them in passing but there were too many for her to feel comfortable with, and too many for her to keep track of. If someone were to sneak in, she didn't think she could point them out as being new or old. Therefore, it was a logical decision for them to be the first cut from her life. As the party was a security risk by itself, they were taking no chances with unknowns. The interns were fine working at G Major until then, but they weren't permitted to go to the party. Jamie, while not the recipient of any of Jude's trust, was still going to the party. Uninviting prominent G Major staffers to the party they had been working towards for months was essentially the same thing as issuing a memo.
"You are unbelievable," Jamie muttered, pacing in front of her. "But what Jude Harrison wants, Jude Harrison gets, isn't that right?"
Jamie walked to the corner of the foyer, looking out to the parking lot, fuming.
"Overdramatic much?" Jude wondered aloud.
"Overdramatic?" Jamie had to almost shout to be heard from the couch Jude was still perched on, and he was quickly drawing attention to the pair. "I'm not the one whoring myself around, yet still insecure enough to be mad about my ex's new girlfriend."
As soon as the word "whore" escaped Jamie's lips, Jude was off the couch and stalking towards him. It was one thing to get in a yelling match with him at G Major, but he was just asking to be slapped with a word like that.
"What's going on?" Tommy was swiftly making his way across the room, the door to Studio A still bouncing off the wall after he had practically ripped it open.
"Oh, perfect," Jamie muttered. "King Tommy, here to save the day again! What's the matter, Jude? Still not over me, even though you're under him?"
I wish, Jude thought sardonically. The look on Jamie's face said that her thought must have been less internalized as she initially thought, though, as his eyes widened and a glimmer of hurt passed through them.
Not really wanting to, but knowing she had to, Jude began to turn to see Tommy's face at her public admission. However, before she could turn fully, something caught her eye from the parking lot, just a brief shimmer that distracted her for but a second.
Bear would later tell her that it was her instincts kicking in, something primal and undeniable. Spied would remark that it was her 'spidey sense,' and Darius would make a sarcastic remark about how she would be on Survivor as her next reality TV foray. Jude couldn't describe it or even recreate it in her mind fully. All she knew was that there was no time to think, only to act.
"Tommy!" She screamed, a red dot appearing briefly on his shoulder. She didn't think about what she was doing or what it could possibly mean for either her or Tommy, she just dove at him, tackling him as their world shattered around them.
G Major was a cacophony of sounds. Jude couldn't separate them from each other, she couldn't even move. Tommy lay beneath her, just as confused and shaken, trying to piece together what just happened. He could feel Jude's heartbeat, her breath against his neck, and he tried to remain calm. He finally got his bearings and moved his arms to hold her tightly when he felt it. Something warm and vaguely sticky clung to his forearm, dripping slowly.
"Jude?" He questioned softly, trying not to worry her feeling his heart start to race, unbidden. "Jude?" He asked again, more urgent this time. His hands began to move, trying to find the source of what he was now convinced was blood. He didn't know if it was him or her bleeding, but her lack of response was starting to scare him.
He rolled her off of him gently, lying her on her back beside him. G Major was still a flurry of activity - there was glass everywhere, people screaming, sirens wailing in the distance, and he could hear Bear barking out orders to the security team.
"Tommy?" Jude suddenly was alert, her eyes open and searching his body for any hair that might be out of place, any sign at all that he wasn't okay. "Are you okay?" She started to sit up but winced, pain lancing through her shoulder.
"I'm okay Jude, are you?" He hadn't missed the wince. "Are you hurt? You're not shot, right?" He didn't honestly think she would be carrying on a conversation with him if she were seriously injured, but he would ask her stupid questions every day if only to see the small smile and accompanying eye roll she gave him.
"No, I'm not shot. My shoulder is killing me though, but maybe that's because I tried to be a linebacker." She rested her head back on the ground. "I'm clearly more of a kicker."
"I'll let the CFL know," he murmured, absently, focused on her shoulder. "I'm going to take a look at your arm, okay?"
"Is everyone alright, Tommy? Is anyone hurt?" The panic crept into her voice, unwanted but not unwarranted.
"I don't think so, girl, just hold on…" He brushed her hair to the side and quickly saw the point of pain for Jude. Jutting out from just below her shoulder, on the top of her left bicep, through the oversized sweatshirt she was wearing, was a pointed piece of glass, almost four inches long. "Shit."
"What…?"
Tommy instantly got out a pocket knife, one that Jude had never seen him carry before, and slit the hole in the sweatshirt to even larger. Jude twisted and saw that glass and the subsequent blood running down her arm before thumping her head back to look at the ceiling.
"I'm going to pass out."
"Stay with me, Babe, okay? Don't look at it, look at me." He met her eyes and silently encouraged her to stay focused on him. Confident that she was still coherent, Tommy looked around quickly, surveying the scene. It had been barely a minute but felt like a lifetime had passed.
He spied Bear running into G Major from the parking lot, his own gun drawn and held tensely by his side as he cased the room.
"Bear!" Tommy shouted over the din in the room, drawing his attention at once. He raced over to them, faster than someone his size should logically be able to move, and knelt down quickly beside them.
"Fucker got away," Bear informed them curtly. "Are you both okay? Any injuries?"
Tommy gestured to Jude's arm and the offending glass, to which Bear sucked in a breath through his teeth.
"We need to get the sweatshirt off of her. Do you want to cut it or-?"
"I can move my other arm, you know," Jude cut in, bracing herself into a sitting position using her right arm. Supporting herself against Tommy, she wiggled her right arm out of the sweatshirt and reached behind to pull the hood up and over her head. She paused as she grasped the hood, a look of confusion spreading across her face.
"Something wrong? Does anything else hurt?" Tommy asked quickly.
"No…" Jude said quietly, slipping the sweatshirt over her head. Her hand still grasped the hood as she gingerly removed the other sleeve around the glass, careful not to look at it for too long, lest she get lightheaded.
Once the sweatshirt was removed and Bear begun to help her stand, she held out the hood still in her hand. Only one of her fingers was holding it up, slipped through the material via what was a definite bullet hole.
"Okay, now I'm going to pass out," Jude said lightly.
And she did.
She was grateful she didn't remember anything about that afternoon. She didn't remember the ambulance, she didn't remember the 12 stitches, she didn't even remember getting back to the penthouse and put to bed under Tommy's watchful eyes. The combination of shock and painkillers were enough to muddle her mind and if she was being completely honest with herself, she hadn't really tried to remember.
She was hoping against all hope that when next week rolled around, she wouldn't be able to remember the current conversation she was in either.
Friday morning was supposed to be leisurely. It was supposed to be a sleep in with Tommy - maybe more, if she could tempt him - followed by a long pampering session preceding her third album release party. Instead, here she was, at G Major at an obscenely early time, in an argument with a man she knew that she loved, but kind of hated at that moment.
It started off innocently enough; she had run through what had happened at G Major for both the Toronto PD and her own security team, and they had moved on to tightened security for the party. That was when things got a bit intense.
"I can't believe you're going through with this," Tommy muttered for what had to be the thousandth time.
"We've covered that. Can we move on please, now that we all are aware that this party is happening?"
"Darius, you're not even going to try to stop her?"
"I would like to see you try, D," Jude said sweetly to her boss before turning to her not-so-secret-but-still-not-public boyfriend. "And you know what? You don't have to come if you don't want to, how's that Tommy?"
"You don't even like parties like this Jude, so why the fuck are you so hellbent on having one now?"
"I'm not going to hide!" She practically screamed at him. "I am so sick and tired of hiding from this guy, and for what? It is clearly not helping! I am not going to keep living my life in a prison just to wait for something else to happen! I have done everything you have asked of me, everything! I have a security team, I've upped all the security for this party, I've pared down the guest list into essentially a VIP only event and I have followed every single one of your stupid rules! I am going to live my life whether you like it or not!"
"I am trying to get you to keep on living your life, goddammit!"
"I didn't ask for your protection, Tommy! Why don't you focus on yourself for one fucking second and not me, how's that? I'll worry about myself, okay? When this whole thing started, you wanted me to keep on living my life on my own terms, do you remember that? Well, here I am, trying to do just that. Nothing has changed!"
"Everything has changed, Jude!"
She saw red. She truly did; it clouded her vision briefly before receding and leaving her trembling with anger and fear and righteous indignation.
"What, I'm supposed to bow to you and your will and start being afraid of everything because you and I are together now? Because we share a bed at night and coffee in the morning? I'm not on your payroll, Tommy! I don't follow your orders blindly, I am still me and I am still the ultimate decision maker of my life. God!" She threw her hands up in the air, frustrated beyond comprehension, not even taking in how Tommy was reacting to her yells. "I can't imagine what it would be like if you would actually fuck me, you'd probably think you owned me! Well, you're not the boss of me Tommy, relationship or no, and you better come to terms with that real quick."
And with that, she stormed out of the conference room and practically sprinted into the closest available studio she could find, slamming the door shut behind her.
She paced briefly before slumping on to the couch in the studio and putting her head in her hands. She just didn't understand Tommy. Regardless of their relationship status, which she was deeply concerned about currently, she had never been one to bend to rules or authority. He knew this about her, and he even claimed to love that about her previously. So why did he now think that she was going to kowtow to him and his damn demands?
Suddenly the door to the studio slammed open and Tommy was standing in the doorway, his presence larger than life. She sprung up, ready to go toe-to-toe with him again, but something in his posture and his eyes gave her pause. She had never seen him look this furious before, least of all at her. She tried to grasp for words but they failed her as he took two menacing steps towards her, not bothering to shut the door behind him. She just knew that they were about to give G Major a show.
His voice wasn't quiet by any means but he also wasn't shouting at her like she had him. Instead, his words were even and steady, devoid of any emotion.
"What has changed, Jude, was that you were shot at yesterday. You have a bullet hole in one of your sweatshirts. It has nothing to do whether or not we are fucking, which I would like to thank you for announcing to all of G Major a few moments ago. This guy has gone past sending notes and has started taking lethal actions. That is why I don't think it is a good idea for you to be as visible as you seem intent on making yourself at an event that has been publicized as well as this has been."
Silence.
Jude didn't know what to say, or how to convey the feelings she was experiencing. Mostly, she didn't know how to apologize without it sounding completely false and trite. Not only that, but there were about twenty different things she needed to apologize for, all based on her one paragraph diatribe to him.
"I'm sorry." It was all she could manage to get out, and all that she could say without breaking down entirely. She was always told that her big mouth was going to get her into trouble someday, and considering all the times that had come before, it was this fight with Tommy that was actually opening her eyes. It might have just ruined the best thing to ever happen to her.
Tommy just gave her a curt nod, not saying anything. He knew that she had more to say, but it was possible he also knew that she had no idea how to say it. Finally, he continued.
"I'm coming to the party tonight."
She let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. She needed him there. Needed him everywhere. She didn't think she could make it through tonight without him, and her even suggesting as much earlier was foolish.
"You're going to stay here today. Darius and Portia will bring in people to help you get ready for tonight. Limit your visibility and all that." That stung, only because they had planned on getting ready at his apartment and showing up together, but she understood his reasoning.
"And after tonight?" She had to ask around the knot in her throat.
"I'm going to keep you safe whether you want me to or not, Jude." She didn't really know what that meant for the two of them. "But we will also need to have a conversation very soon about why you felt the need to accuse me of using our relationship as a means to control you."
When he put it like that, it sounded so out of place for the two of them, but Jude knew that was essentially what she had done before in front of everyone. She had no defense, nothing to say to him, so she just nodded slowly. Despite any fights or disagreements they had had before, she had never felt as far away from him as she did now. The four feet between them might as well have been three hundred miles.
She needed to be alone. Her vision was starting to swim with unshed tears and she knew she was only inches away from losing it completely. She wanted to be alone when that happened, so she slowly moved to walk around Tommy, her head still nodding.
His gentle hand on her arm stopped her movement, but she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. Eventually, he directed her gaze to his with a light grip on her chin, tilting her head until she acquiesced completely.
"I love you, Jude." He pressed a sweet and soft kiss to her lips, the taste of him mingling with the saltiness of her tears, but she still remained frozen to the spot, unsure of what to say or do when it came to him.
And then he was gone. Gone to do whatever he was intending to do; gone to go do things without her.
Figuring that her quiet, alone time had suddenly come to her versus her going to it, she closed the door behind Tommy, and curled up into a ball on the couch and cried until she couldn't cry any more.
She moved through the rest of the day like a zombie, save for an emergency meeting with SME regarding a performance for that night. Despite her less than strenuous day, she relished the full blown pampering session she was being treated to. Aside from very public appearances, like the Gemini Awards or something, she was not usually subjected to the royal treatment like she was that day. This was the full gamut; she simply lay there and let the professionals do their jobs. Everything from shaving her legs for her to not scolding her for eating the cucumbers for her facial - these people covered it all and did it with dignity.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She popped a cucumber off her eye and into her mouth, staring Portia down from across the room. The two weren't close, especially not lately, and especially not in light of her past with Tommy.
"'Fraid you're gonna have to be a bit more specific these days, Portia." She knew exactly what the woman wanted to talk about but it didn't hurt to hedge a bit more.
"I'd get more specific but I don't want you to throw something at me. Heard you're a little volatile today." The smile took some of the sting out of her words, but Jude couldn't help but feel as if she was talking down to her, pointing out how childish she had been.
"Well, I don't think you're in danger of that happening," Jude wiggled her hands that were currently wrapped in lotion and plastic bags, stage one of her pending manicure. "But if you're here to make me feel worse about today, get in line. I'm sure I'll be done yelling at myself sometime this century."
There were a few beats of silence, and then, "So, you and Tom, huh?"
"Guess I couldn't have expected that to stay quiet in this place."
"It hasn't gotten out yet, if that's what you're concerned about. Only a few people around here know and we've all been sworn to secrecy by D. I half expected him to have me sign an NDA."
"I'm sure D just wants to be the one to break it to the press. Or he's waiting for me to hit the self destruct button myself, like I'm prone to do."
"It actually has nothing to do with you." There was no mistaking the contempt in Portia's voice, which cause Jude to sit up a bit straighter and remove the other cucumber on her eye, opting to place it down next to her versus eating it.
"Excuse me? If you have something to say Portia, just say it."
"Tommy's a good guy, Jude."
"I'm aware."
"If you're going to break his heart, just do it, okay? Don't string him along for this stupid stalker business because you don't want to be alone."
Stupid stalker business? Was Portia trying to be an insensitive bitch, or was it just the mood that Jude was in? She didn't want to say something she would regret, especially to the woman who would ultimately be responsible for her final appearance that evening, but she wasn't going to sit around and be vilified.
"What are you talking about, Portia?" It wasn't as confrontational as Jude would have liked, but it was what she finally settled on.
"Tommy just put his ass on the line, threatening to quit if Darius let the news of your relationship go public. He said that this day was supposed to be about you, and he'd be damned if it turned into a tabloid spectacle. I'm just saying that he's probably making this bigger than it is, but -"
"He said that?"
"Yeah, Jude, but the fact of the matter is-"
"The fact is that it doesn't concern you at all, Portia. He isn't 'making it bigger than it is,' because this is big. Huge, even. What Tommy and I are is bigger than us. And it is bigger than this 'stupid stalker business,' if we can make it through this alive, of course." She took a breath, realizing she had been ranting without breathing.
"I love him, Portia," she continued, calmer. "Like, head over heels, can't imagine my life without him, butterflies when I think about him kind of love. I don't need your permission or your approval. Hell, I'm not sure I even have Tommy's permission or approval to love him so much, but I do. So while I appreciate your concern over his wellbeing because god knows he could use another person to look out for him, but ultimately, Tommy and I's relationship isn't yours to speculate on. It is so new and fresh and exciting, so if you love or even like either one of us, you'll let us be happy and enjoy this, okay?"
An unreadable look passed over Portia's expression before she threw her hands up in frustration.
"Whatever, Jude. I'll let the two of you live out this little daydream of yours and just try to dodge the wreckage when it explodes. I'll see you later - if you live that long, of course." She finished with an eyeroll worthy of the Olympics and exited the room, leaving Jude to her own thoughts.
Portia didn't get far though.
"You didn't have to do that, you know." Tommy stepped out from the door across the way, clearly having heard everything.
"I know," she said with a small smile. "But I think you needed to hear it, am I right?"
Jude stared at herself in the mirror, barely recognizing her reflection. Unlike with the wedding, where she had understated everything in order to let Sadie shine, tonight was all about her. The makeup, the hair, the dress, they all came together to form a picture worthy of a magazine cover.
The dress was ice blue lace, bringing out her eyes, almost startlingly so to Jude. It was floor length with a darker blue satin belt wrapped around her waist, calling attention to her very feminine figure she was usually loathe to flaunt. The plunging neckline didn't go too far to be a worry for Jude, and if she was being honest, it could've gone a bit lower. Something about a lace dress made the entire thing seem classier, as if she oozed elegance. Her favorite part by far was the back, where the lace opened up from the cap sleeves and made a large keyhole opening, baring almost her entire back. Her conservative makeup drew attention to her eyes, as desired, and her hair was pinned into an elegant side updo, with her bangs that she was trying desperately to grow out framing her face lightly.
She was lucky, she acknowledged, that the gown had the tiny sleeves that covered her stitched and bandaged shoulder. Anyone looking at her would think that she looked flawless. They wouldn't be able to see the recent wound on her arm or her fragile heart that was dangerously close to breaking if she didn't see Tommy soon.
She stood in front of the mirror for a long moment, wondering what it was exactly that Tommy saw in her. She didn't want to question it per se, but she hoped that maybe for a brief second she could see whatever it was that he saw every time he looked at her. If she could catch a glimpse of that person, she would feel better. She would be able to go out there and dazzle. The longer she stared, the further that person danced from her grasp. She might not have looked like her typical self, but Jude still saw the glaring faults that had been there from day one. She was still petulant, she was still selfish, she was still scared of loving someone as much as she loved Tommy. She was all of those things and maybe more.
She slipped into her shoes, three inch matching blue pumps that fit her feet like a glove. She was sure she'd be kicking them off gratefully at the end of the night, but for now, it was as if it completed her outfit. Almost complete, she told herself. She still grasped Bear's panic button in her hand, unsure of where to put it.
There was a lot of conflicting data floating around the security for the event. On the one hand, it was supposed to be the single-most secure event of the year. She knew the security team spent most of this week vetting her VIP fan club members that were attending, plus personally screening all catering and support staff. On the other hand, there seemed to be this silent understanding that if something were to happen to Jude, it would happen tonight. There were too many unknowns, too many unforeseen circumstances, and there was always a chance for something dire to happen. With that knowledge, Jude had committed to keeping the panic button on her, but she wasn't sure where she could hide it.
She wasn't taking a purse; there would be no need for her to carry one all night. She had her phone actually on a holster on her garter, and that was mostly for an emergency of the Tommy-variety. It wasn't weighing her down, but she knew she couldn't add any more bulk under her gown without compromising the dress's looks. Finally, with a shrug, she settled on placing it in a place where no one would think to look - her cleavage. The strapless Spanx-esque top she was wearing beneath the dress provided her with enhanced cleavage and with that cleavage came a gap beneath her artificially pushed-up boobs. The belt cinched tight enough that she was in no danger of losing it, so she slipped it in, made sure that she couldn't see it in her reflection, and gave herself a nod. She was taking her safety seriously, even if no one knew it.
A knock on her door brought her out of her musings. She hoped against all hope that it was Tommy, but it cracked open and in stepped Darius. She hadn't seen him since her outburst against Tommy that morning, and she had been grateful for that reprieve, whether it was of his own design or not.
"Jude. Wow. You look…"
"Not like myself?" She supplied.
"Beautiful. I was going to say you look beautiful."
"Potato, po-tah-toe," she smirked in reply, giving him a little twirl. "Are we all set to go?"
The party was being held at a hotel less than a mile down the street. Originally it had been planned for G Major, but when it was postponed due to Sadie's wedding, Darius had taken the liberty of enhancing the locale for the press. Jude originally thought that she would simply walk the few blocks to the hotel, but she knew without asking that that was out of the question now.
"Everyone's downstairs waiting."
"Everyone?"
Darius was a smart man and even if he wasn't, he still could've read between the lines on that one. "Yes, rock star. T is down there. Along with those few employees that have your implicit trust."
She gulped but nodded, taking the first few steps towards the door.
"You know I totally called you and him happening."
That halted her movement. "What do you mean, you 'called' it?"
"I just knew that it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm glad it was on the legal side of later, I must admit, but I know a certain Harrison sister who now owes me fifty bucks."
"Sadie bet against you?"
"Not against, really. She thought you two would have hooked up as soon as you were legal. I said only a few months before your 19th birthday."
"I'm so glad I could be your entertainment," she muttered good naturedly, making her way to the door once again. As soon as she got close enough to Darius she smacked him lightly. "Betting on your own employees, I mean honestly…"
"Did you expect better?" He offered her his arm, one of the most gentlemanly things she had ever seen him do. She took it with a light roll of her eyes.
"No. I really, really didn't."
Even if he was angry with her, even if he was disappointed in her, even if he wasn't in love with her, there was no way that Tommy would have ever been able to conceal his reaction to her that night. She looked radiant; she looked like every fantasy and dream he had ever had about her, then those dreams multiplied by twenty.
He had seen the dress on the rack, but that did nothing to prepare him for the sight of her wearing it.
He wasn't even really aware of his feet carrying him to her until he stood right in front of her, staring into her big blue eyes that seemed a little glossy, as if she could cry if she would let herself.
"Hi." Jude's voice was a little breathless, unsure of Tommy's reaction to her.
"You look…" His voice trailed off, causing Jude's brow to furrow a little. He was going to need to finish that sentence if she was ever going to be able to breathe again. "You look like love."
And finish the sentence he did. Something in her melted at his words, his beautiful, soft, romantic words. She didn't care if he was mad at her, didn't care if everyone was watching them with bated breath. She leaned up and close the distance between them with her lips. It was a soft kiss, just barely less than innocent, with their lips clinging together in the brief second that followed. Her eyes spoke volumes to him, but even if they hadn't, she was determined to say what she should've said to him that afternoon.
"I love you."
"I know," he said softly to her, his half-crooked smile crossing his face.
"Jerk," she chastised with a soft laugh.
"I know," he repeated.
"Okay, well, I'm going to go in the limo with those two to make sure they don't get it on before the party," D's voice broke them out of their reverie. "Everyone else know where they're going?"
The rest of the group nodded, casting smiles and curious glances at the pair now holding hands behind them, but began to move to their respective vehicles nonetheless. Bear was waiting patiently, a smile hiding behind his own eyes, gesturing them to go ahead of him to the waiting limo.
"Love you too, Harrison," Tommy murmured into her ear as he slung his arm around her shoulders, walking her to the car.
"Stop staring at us," Tommy told Darius as he looked out the window of the limo. Jude was safely plastered against his side, one hand on his thigh, the other absentmindedly playing with his tie. His tie that happened to match the satin belt on her dress perfectly.
"I didn't say a thing."
"I can hear you smiling all the way from over here, D."
"What, a music mogul isn't allowed to be happy?"
Tommy just grunted in reply, directing his attention to the other occupant across from him.
"Don't look at me," Bear said. "I wasn't even smiling."
"You're doing that thing where you smile without smiling," Tommy said with an eye roll.
"I know." The corners of Bear's mouth tipped up fractionally. "I'm good like that."
The limo rolled to a stop and suddenly Darius and Bear were business only.
"Okay, Jude, I want you to remember what we told you."
"I remember," she sighed. "Fans are outside behind barricades. I am to look, smile, and wave, but not stop to talk to anyone. Press is inside in the lobby where I will do some interviews and more photo ops. I stay away from windows and doors, and I try to keep a Man in Black in view at all times."
Blank stares from all three of the men around her.
"Well maybe if they put a little color in their wardrobe, I wouldn't associate them with a Will Smith movie."
Before anyone could respond, the side door was being opened and Darius moved to get out.
"Showtime."
"My cheeks hurt from smiling so much," Jude managed to get out between clenched teeth as she turned for the umpteenth time that night, tossing a smile over her shoulder.
"Which ones? These?" Tommy pinched her butt as she was posing for a photo, leading her to squeak and elbow him in the stomach. To his credit, he had been nothing but amazing so far with the photos and interviews. He was doing a perfect job of keeping her focused and relaxed, plus the occasional distraction and butt grab.
"Little Tommy Q, where's your date tonight?" A report called out from the crowd.
"Yeah, Tom, where is your date?" Another voice piped in.
Choosing to respond to the reporter who didn't call him by his nickname, he smiled wide. "Like anyone I brought could have possibly compared to Jude tonight. Have you seen her?"
Jude gave him another small roll of the eyes but even with her trying to bite her lip, a smile still spread over her face easily.
They were soon herded out of the lobby and into the ballroom where the true party was being held, and Jude couldn't even pretend to be not impressed with the setup. The huge room with glittering chandeliers and a dome ceiling was filled with both guests and waiters, with a large stage taking up one entire wall. Everything was done in gold, creams, and the same light blue as Jude's dress. It was truly a masterpiece.
"Oh my god," she breathed. "This is incredible."
"All for you, rockstar."
She tried to take it all in but felt that she couldn't; anytime she tried to focus on one amazing aspect, another would come into view, until she was overwhelmed and speechless at the entire ordeal. No wonder Darius had let her have the party - this would've cost a fortune to cancel on.
She made her way through the crowd, never too far from Tommy, greeting guests. Darius had pulled out all the stops, it had seemed. All the Instant Star winners were there, plus any other G Major recording artists. She grinned at Shay who stood in the corner with a small entourage around him; he raised his glass of champagne to her in acknowledgment.
All too quickly was the signal from Tommy, telling her it was time for her first performance of the night and for her to greet the crowd formally. Public speaking was not her forte by any means, so she was grateful that Darius had pretty much beaten the opening words into her mind.
"Thank you so much for being here," she called out to the audience, quickly garnering their attention. She hadn't expected the mic to be quite so loud, so she gave it the side eye, drawing a few laughs from the crowd as well. "Firstly, I want to give a huge thank you to Darius Mills and G Major Records for throwing this fantastic party for me. How about a round of applause for D?"
A spotlight quickly found the man in question, who was prepared as always, saluting the crowd with his drink. He mouthed 'you're welcome,' to Jude, who beamed in response.
"Secondly, I want to thank all of you for coming out and for taking time out of your busy schedules to come celebrate with me! With everything that has been happening lately, I think it is important now more than ever for us all to not take any moment for granted. Celebrate every moment, am I right?" She paused for the clapping and hollering that was led mainly by SME. "And finally, I want to thank absolutely everyone who had anything to do with this album. From the Spiederman Mind Explosion, to my wonderful sister and father, to the interns that would get me coffee when I was too tired to leave the recording studio. Every single person that was remotely involved in my life while I was recording this indirectly helped this to get finished. And not only is it finished, but it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself!"
It took her a few minutes to find him in the crowd, but she spied him towards the back, leaning against a table, smiling softly at her. As the laughter died down, she spoke again.
"And of course, while it goes without saying, I'll go ahead and do it anyways - I could not have done this without the help and support of Tommy Quincy." Unlike Darius, Tommy looked distinctly uncomfortable under the spotlight, but he continued to smile at Jude, not acknowledging the looks from the rest of the crowd. "This album is for you. I hope you're as proud of it as I am. You know more than anyone all of the love and energy that I poured into these songs. Every single last one of them. You let me cry on you and yell at you and make you sleep at the studio. I can never say it enough and I won't even try to, but I guess once won't hurt, huh? Thank you, Tommy. For everything."
His eyes left hers at that point, as he tried futilely to get a grip on the emotion coursing through his body. She was clapping for him now, which was unexpected. In all of Darius's speech suggestions, there had never been a line about Tommy in there. That was all Jude.
"Now, if you're interested, I'm going to play a new song from my album, then we are going to eat!" The cheers from SME behind her as they set up were raucously loud at that. "And then we'll play a few more and have a good time. Thanks again for coming out, and I hope you enjoy the music!"
She started out softly, without only Spied's guitar plucking behind her.
"Na na na
Na na na na
Na na na, na na na na
Yeah…
1, 2,
1,2,3,4"
SME launched in suddenly, bringing the pop rock flavor that Jude Harrison was known for.
"Spin around
Come back home
You're running out on a line
Sometimes feel I'm going out of my mind
Stunned here waiting
For anyone to take the time
Spin around
We get further and further away
Smile and wave
Ain't got nothin' to say
Stunned here waiting
For anyone to take the time
To change my mind this time"
Jude grinned at Wally as she sang, happy to see that her band was still just as happy performing as they always had been. Spied in particular was getting into it, rocking hard and biting his tongue as he focused on the music. For a brief moment, she felt as if she was back on her first tour with these guys, playing songs they loved and having the best time at it.
"Well I've been staring at the sun for some time
It gets dark inside but I don't mind
And if you're gone, its like I'm going blind
I can't get by this time….
Spin around
Jump back
Take another look at yourself
You've been hiding all alone on a shelf
Frozen, waiting for anyone to change your mind
Spin around
Come down now
Cause it's all getting clear
Everything you ever wanted is here
You never needed anyone
To change our minds
Don't waste our time
We're fine"
She grinned happily at Tommy who was bobbing his head along to the music. This wasn't his favorite track on the CD but it was one of the songs that was eerily reminiscent of her early stuff, yet still showed progression. He liked it alone for that reason,
"I've been staring at the sun for some time
It gets dark inside but I don't mind
And if you're gone it's like I'm going blind
I can't get by this time"
She backed off as she let Spied break it down on a guitar solo, twirling around the stage and smiling at the fans in the audience that truly looked like they had won the lottery. She was lost in the happiness of them that she almost missed her cue back in until a sharp note from Spied grabbed her attention.
"Spin around and around
And around and around
Never wanna come back down
'Cause everything I've lost I've found
Yeah
Spin around and around and ah
Spin around and around and ah
Spin around and around and ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
Jude had moaned her way through dinner, much to Tommy's pleasure and discomfort. Everything was proceeding as planned though, which was all he cared about. She was currently mingling with the crowd, pending her next performance, and Tommy took special care in always keeping her in his sights. She was only a few yards away as he lounged against a wall, taking in the people that had attended when someone unexpected sidled up to him.
"How's she holding up?"
Spiederman and Tommy, while having grown as people exponentially in the few years they had known each other, were not best friends, and probably never would be. They did share a mutual respect and adoration for Jude though, which worked out well as most of their conversations revolved around her anyways.
"As good as could be expected," Tommy replied without taking his eyes off Jude.
"So, you and her…" Spied trailed off, causing Tommy to look at him, only to see him waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"How do you still have a job here," Tommy wondered aloud, avoiding the question.
"I'm just saying, it makes perfect sense. All the snuggles, the hugs, you even being there after the whole Jamie thing. Maybe she will help you lose some of your wrinkles, you know? There's always an upside."
Tommy pinned him with a look before letting his eyes drift back to Jude.
"The upside is being with Jude, you moron."
"Yeah, well, that too."
"Where is Andrews, anyways?"
"Last I saw he was fighting with his girlfriend in the corner."
"Trouble in paradise?" Tommy smirked but had to admit he didn't care either way. Jamie deserved whatever he got.
"I don't know, man. Jamie has been a wreck since yesterday. Feels super responsible for Jude being in front of that window. I think the girlfriend is mad at how much he seems to still care for Dude."
"Tough," Tommy muttered distractedly. "Speaking of…" Jude was giving him the 'save me' eyes, and he barely spared Spied a glance as he went to go to her rescue.
"There you are," Tommy slid in between Jude and the record exec from Astaria Records that was getting increasingly closer to Jude.
"Tommy, hi!" She exhaled in noticeable relief. "You know Michael Powell and Rich Lanthier, right?"
"I'm familiar, yes." He didn't bother to exchange any pleasantries. "Spiederman was just looking for you, I think you are about to take the stage again, right?"
"Oh, right, yeah. Excuse me, gentlemen, Tommy." She leaned up and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek, surprising the man himself as well as his current companions before she made her way back to the stage.
"She yours, Quincy?" Powell, he believed, questioned him as his eyes followed Jude's backside across the ballroom floor.
"In every sense of the word," Tommy told him quietly before leaving the pair gaping. Serves them right, he thought.
"If you have ever met me before, this song should really come as no surprise to you," Jude told the audience. She had imbibed a few glasses of champagne and was feeling good, but still had her wits about her. No need for her to get carried away until she was safe and sound in the penthouse with Tommy. It was then that she planned to have a bit more to drink and a bit more of Tommy to enjoy.
"I think Darius, not to mention anyone else here, could easily tell you that I am not the easiest person to get along with." Spied had begun to play the opening guitar notes behind her, preparing for the song. "I am certainly not the most polite, or the best behaved, or even the best dressed."
"Hell no," someone crowed from the crowd.
"Thank you so much, Portia." Even Tommy had to laugh at that. "But I am also not the least polite, or the worst behaved, and I have Portia to make me look good!" Jude smiled at the crowd, seemingly glowing to everyone. She was radiant. "And this song is about how all of that is okay. You are what you are, and that is just fine. So this one goes out to all of my fans in attendance tonight!" She paused, letting them yell from the audience. "You don't have to be perfect, and you don't have to be like me, either. Just be yourself, and you'll do great."
"My hair's a wreck
Mascara runs
My feet get dirty
And my skin burns in the sun
My lips, they bleed
But I still sing my songs
Takes me a minute to admit it
When I'm wrong
Pretty is as pretty does
But pretty's not my thing.
This is what you get
This is who I am
Take me now or leave me
Anyway you can
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand
And if you're thinking about changing
My direction
Don't mess with imperfection."
Now this was a Jude song all the way through, Tommy mused. He let his mind drift back in time when they had wrote this song together; it had been one of the many times where they laughed so hard that Jude was crying and Tommy had to rest his head on his knees to catch his breath. She had wanted to write a song about how she was okay with who she was and all of her flaws, but as they brainstormed some of her more endearing shortcomings, they remembered all of her earlier misadventures. They spent hours recounting her younger experiences and what was actually going through her head when she pulled off some of her stunts. It was one of the first times that Tommy felt like Jude was showing him a side of herself that she didn't usually flaunt. He would never let her put anything too demeaning in the song, and for every seeming 'imperfection' that Jude found, Tommy was quick to point out a time that whatever quality she might not like right then had helped her previously. Prior to the last few weeks, it was one of the times Tommy had felt closest with Jude.
"My back is weak
But my will is true
Got good intentions
But I never follow through
I say too much
And don't know when to leave
In case you're looking,
That's my heart there on my sleeve
Ego trips and stupid slip ups,
I'm a mess but
This is what you get
This is who I am
Take me now or leave me
Anyway you can
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand
And if you're thinking about changing
My direction
Don't mess with imperfection"
Jude was crouching now, eye level with her fans that were, predictably so, standing at the front of the stage. As much as this song was for her, it was also for them.
"Scratched and bruised
A little used
But baby, I work fine
You might call me
Damaged goods
But I'm one of a kind
My hair's a wreck
No I'm not perfect,
But I'm not the only one
This is what you get
This is who I am
Take me now or leave me
Any way you can,
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand
And if you're thinking about changing
My direction
Don't mess with imperfection."
Jude tossed Tommy a wink as the band queued up 'Wishing I Was There,' and Tommy used that time to find Bear across the room. He figured this was probably as safe as Jude could get currently - under the watchful eyes of a hundred people and her security team.
"Any news?" Tommy trusted Bear to keep him in the loop when it came to Jude's safety and he hadn't been disappointed yet.
"No, everything seems to be good. All entrances and exits are secure."
"Any issues at all?"
"Besides a bunch of bored rich people wanting to complain about a metal detector, no."
"How much do you love your job right now?" Tommy asked with a grin as he situated himself next to Bear, feeling more relaxed now that he had confirmation that things were going okay.
Bear quirked an eyebrow at him. "She is a dream compared to Boyz Attack."
"Come on, you don't miss that?" Tommy gestured to Chaz in the middle of the dance floor, tearing it up with a few of Jude's fans that weren't intimidated by him. He was currently doing an exaggerated version of what Tommy thought was the dance to Thriller.
"Not a chance."
Tommy watched the rest of Jude's performance and couldn't help but notice her eyes straying to Jamie Andrews a few more times than normal. The kid looked more than a little despondent and if he had to guess anything, he'd assumed that Jude felt responsible for his misery.
Before he could give that any more thought, Jude's performance wound down and he devoted his attention to her, eagerly anticipating the next song, which he thought would be Shadow. He knew she wanted to play that song for her sister, but with Sadie and Kwest still on their honeymoon (a Jude sanctioned honeymoon, at that), she was going to have to sing it to the rest of the audience anyways. He had seen her talking to her father earlier and they had exchanged their own pleasantries, but he felt a little bad that she didn't have any other family here. His mom was, of course, invited, but she had opted to stay at the Towers and see Jude the next day to hear all about it. She didn't want to come and risk the press asking all sorts of questions as to why Jude was so familiar with her.
It was for this reason that Tommy was visibly confused when he saw Spiederman replace his electric guitar with an acoustic one and watched as Jude situated herself behind the piano. Shadow was more of an electronic track and unless they were doing a different version than he had ever heard, there was not supposed to be any piano.
"This next song," Jude's voice cracked slightly as she repositioned the microphone to her lips, "is not one that I ever saw myself playing live."
Tommy's stomach did a backflip.
"With everything that has been going on lately, I haven't exactly been myself. And everyone has been really good about justifying it and giving me outs, but the fact is, it doesn't matter what is going on in your life when you hurt the ones that you love. When you hurt the one you're in love with."
A hush descended over the crowd. Tommy was more than aware of the eyes that were searching him out in the crowd. It ranged from those at G Major who knew from today that they were a couple, to those who had always speculated, to those who were just trying to follow everyone else's lead. He kept his eyes focused on Jude, who looked to be studiously avoiding him.
"I have found my home these last few weeks, and I don't ever want to let it go. So with that," she let out a little awkward laugh, "this is my apology. I'm sorry. And I love you."
It was one brief glance to him, one quick lock of their eyes, and that's all it took for Tommy to melt. As she played the first few notes of 'Home' with trembling fingers, Tommy knew that everything would be okay. They would get through this 'stupid stalker business,' through her outburst today, through anything.
As her voice and playing grew stronger as the song wore on, not to mention the new depth that was thanks to the addition of SME backing her piano, Tommy felt himself fall a little more in love with her. He knew that this was not an easy thing for her to do. Despite them being together, this song was so private and personal, it was more than just another song on an album. What Tommy didn't know was that this song was scary for Jude to play. She felt like she was transported to another time with every stroke of the keys; she felt like she was 18 again and so in love with Tommy and knowing that she would never have him. She felt the same fear she felt then, that if she gave in to her feelings with him that he could use her and throw her away and she would lose her best friend. She felt the same fear that she loved him more than she knew how to.
"You guys are really good at keeping things on the DL, aren't you Tom?"
Darius was suddenly beside Tommy, interrupting his Jude-centric thoughts.
"No one knows that we're together, D."
"Right, of course not. No one has any idea. Are you drooling right now?"
That got Tommy's attention as Jude's spell over him was broken and he surreptitiously dabbed his mouth.
Tommy glared at Darius and straightened up his suit as the song was almost fading out.
"Excuse me, D."
"Oh, by all means. You go convince them all how you're not together."
He made his way to the stage and was waiting patiently as Jude said her thanks to the crowd with the promise to return for one final song before the end of the night. Conversation had picked up but there was still a distinct lull in the audience. Tommy knew that their attention was on Jude and him, despite how it may look.
Jude stopped on the steps down from the stage, just one above Tommy. With her heels and that extra few inches, she found herself eye level with him, an unfamiliar situation.
"I know we still need to talk," she began hurriedly, the younger, awkward Jude coming out briefly. "I just thought that maybe this was a good way to start and -"
"I want to kiss you so badly right now."
Tommy's confession stopped short any other rantings Jude was forming.
"You could, you know. No one will stop you."
"But I won't."
"But I want you to," she said with a small, petulant smile.
"I know you do," he responded with his own indulging grin.
"Jerk." She fell back into their old familiar patterns happily.
"I know."
He recognized the same vaguely concerned look in her eyes at something beyond his shoulder as he had seen earlier when she was performing.
"You can go talk to him, you know."
Jude sighed and looked at her shoes.
"I guess, but what do I even say? Whatever Jamie and I were, we're just...not anymore."
"You and Andrews have been broken up for a while."
"Oh, have we?" She mockingly asked him with a sweet smile to take some of the sting out of her words. "It's just with everything that has been going on and with the way he's been acting with you and me and us, I just feel like we're not even friends anymore."
"But at the same time…" Tommy helped her along, knowing there was more to the story. Her responding sigh was just confirmation.
"At the same time, everyone keeps telling me how guilty he feels about yesterday, and it doesn't matter who you are to me or to anyone, no one should feel guilty about that. It was so out of everyone's control."
"You're a good person, you know that?" His blue eyes danced as they met hers and she smiled happily at him.
"I do know that, Mr. Quincy."
Tommy's eyes darkened at that, and he leaned in close to give her a kiss on the cheek.
"I like the way that sounds," he breathed into her ear before pulling back, leaving a stunned and slightly breathless Jude.
"On that note, I'll try to limit my liquid courage for this conversation then," she told him cheekily, only sounding mildly off kilter.
She swiped a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and stuck her tongue out at Tommy's 'lush' comment before making her way through the crowd and to Jamie Andrews.
"Hey."
It took her a little bit longer to get to Jamie than she had anticipated, stopping to take pictures with some of the fans and to thank people for coming, but she eventually made her way to his side.
"Hi."
Jude was glad she came over to talk to him. What everyone was saying was right; Jamie looked pretty terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes, looking like he hadn't slept at all the night before, coupled with his normal pale complexion and a light sheen of sweat. Jude didn't know where the word came from in her mind, but she found herself wanting to describe him as looking 'peaky.'
"You holding up okay?"
"Why are you talking to me, Jude?"
"Okay, I guess I'll just leave then…" She wasn't going to try and be nice to him if he wanted nothing to do with it.
"No, no," he stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm just...yesterday, and hell the last month, then there's this thing with Amber…"
"She still pissed she couldn't come?" That was as close as Jude could get to polite smalltalk about Jamie's girlfriend, the hussy.
Jamie looked at her with confusion painted across his face.
"No, she's here."
"Found a way to get her in, huh?" Jude wasn't entirely surprised at Jamie's tenacity, and she wasn't really mad. One person was not going to turn her entire night upside down.
"Jude…?"
"Well, if she's here, what's the problem then? Is it 'cause I played that song?" She wasn't really apologetic about it, but she was trying to make Jamie feel better. The Jamie she knew would be quick to place the blame of the fight on someone else, and Jude was okay with being that scapegoat for now.
"What? No, it's nothing," he tried to reassure her. "Don't worry about it."
"She's not a fan of the Jude Harrison, is she?" If anything, Jude would've thought she had no reason to feel threatened by her - after all, she succeeded in stealing the boyfriend away from her - but what did she know?
"Jude, it's really nothing. Please, just trust me on this. Don't get involved."
It was almost as if Jamie had never met Jude before in his life. Asking her to not get involved was akin to her receiving a golden invitation asking her to please partake in mediating their relationship.
"Ooookay."
"Promise me, Jude." Jamie actually looked pretty serious now, staring at Jude with wide, almost wild, eyes.
"Yep, you got it."
"I have to...go." Jamie abruptly ended their conversation walking away without another glance backwards.
If she wasn't committed before, she was now: Jude had to find Jamie's girlfriend, the hussy. Jude might not want to be there for her ex-boyfriend, but his appearance and behavior made it clear that someone needed to be. She was gonna swallow her pride, remind herself that she had a pretty good seduction planned for her own boyfriend tonight, and find his girlfriend and make her deal with Jamie's weird PTSD-whatever syndrome he has going on. Because hey, she was a good person. Mr. Quincy had told her that himself.
It didn't take that long for Jude to find his girlfriend, but she did feel like a creep doing so. She was slinking around the ballroom, almost covertly, trying to locate this girl who, for all Jude knew, could've been actively avoiding her. She had run into Tommy on her first lap around the ballroom and filled him in, just so he knew not to worry if he couldn't see her. He had rolled his eyes good naturedly and reminded her about her performance later. She honestly didn't think her confrontation with the girl would take that long, but nodded her agreement and gave him a firm pinch on the ass, just for good measure.
She spotted the girl looking pretty harried herself, rushing from the ballroom to the hallway that led behind the lobby. Careful to not rush too much and draw attention, Jude casually strolled to the opening that led to the hallway and slid out of the room. A few more looks over her shoulders and she pushed open a heavy door, wandering into a hallway that looked like it led to the first floor rooms.
Amber was a few yards ahead of her, still walking at a brisk pace down the hall.
"Hey! Amber, right?"
She came to a complete stop and slowly spun around to see Jude. She made no motion to approach Jude, so Jude decided to close the distance between them herself.
"Jude?"
"In the flesh," she grinned, hopefully nonthreateningly.
"What are you...what time is it?"
Well, that's an interesting question to ask a pop star approaching you in the hallway of a hotel, Jude briefly mused, before realizing that nothing in that sentence was actually a normal occurrence, so she couldn't blame the girl for being a little thrown off.
"Uh," Jude fished her cell phone from her garter, trying to retain her modesty. "9:30. Ish."
"Don't you have another song to sing?"
"Yeah, but I've got like, twenty minutes. Don't worry, I don't really want to take up a lot of your time or anything." Jude's forced laugh fell flat between the two girls. Did she really not even have any sense of humor? What did Jamie see in her, exactly?
The girl, Amber, was still standing in front of her, staring at her blankly. Jude almost forgot the reason she was there.
"Listen, I just want to talk to you about Jamie."
"Who?"
Was this girl serious?
"Jamie Andrews...your boyfriend. Remember?"
Amber actually laughed. An honest to goodness laugh escaped her mouth.
"You came out here to find me, to talk to me, about Jamie?"
"Uh, yes?" Jude shook her head a little at the girl's blatant strangeness, but continued. "He's been acting really weird since yesterday and I just think you should...what?" Amber still stared at her, a small smile on her face.
"You know, we could've waited," she said more to herself as she took the two steps to Jude, rummaging in her purse, suddenly right in front of her. "But I guess you just pushed up the timeline."
Jude wasn't sure if the drinks had gone to her head, but all too fast the girl had moved and was suddenly shoving a needle in to her bicep, depressing the plunger quickly.
"What are you…?" Jude instinctively reached up to her arm but Amber had already removed the syringe and was placing it back in her purse.
"I'll take this," she muttered as she swiped Jude's phone from her hands and dropped it to the ground, her heel crushing it instantly. Jude could only watch in shock as the screen splintered. Her head was starting to swim and she felt hot and clammy all at once, observing through tunnel vision as Amber picked the phone up and dropped it in a nearby plant, concealing it instantly. "They'll find that in a few hours I guess, but by then it shouldn't really matter. Let's go." She roughly pulled Jude forward, causing her to stumble.
"Help," Jude whispered before realizing she hadn't screamed as she intended. "Help!" She managed to get out louder.
"Oh please, yell all you want," Amber's nails tightened around Jude's wrist, drawing blood as she yanked her down the hall. "The walls are thick and the bass is bumping. And you came to me!" The girl crowed, throwing her head back in delight. "It's like you kidnapped yourself. I love it."
Jude's eyes were starting to cloud now, with her vision going blurry at the edges and unable to maintain a single focus. She fought it so hard, fought to stay awake and to get away from the completely unstable girl in front of her. She dragged her feet, trying to remember everything she had ever read about being captured. Something about dead weight, she vaguely recalled. It was harder for people to lift something that wasn't compliant.
"Oh, no you don't,"Amber gritted out, almost ripping Jude's arm from its socket, causing Jude to stumble into her. "I'd take your shoes off but I don't want you going all Cinderella on me," she muttered. "Nope, they're not going to have any idea that you're gone for quite a while."
In Jude's addled mind, that was the one thing that got through completely clear. Amber was right. She had hidden her phone, and while they would eventually find it, this was a big hotel, and no one was expecting her back for another half hour or so. Leaving the hallway completely clean was a terrible way to get someone's attention as to what had occurred there.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize the emergency exit door was fast approaching. She needed to leave something, some sign that she had been there, something to leave a trail so that someone could find her. She stumbled again, her vision almost completely blacking out if not for the pain that suddenly shot from her mouth. She had tripped so hard she had bitten her tongue and drawn blood, if the metallic taste in her mouth was any indication.
Quickly, without thinking, she spit as much as she could out of her mouth. She watched in disappointment as most of the droplets were absorbed by the dark green rug beneath her feet. A few droplets landed on the lower half of the wall, but not many. Not enough to get anyone's attention, she feared.
She should've been afraid of attracting someone else's attention, however.
"You stupid bitch!" Amber screeched in her already sensitive ears, causing Jude to see kaleidoscopes and a rainbow all at once.
"Help," Jude tried to moan once more but was cut off with a fist to her stomach. She tried to hunch forward, but Amber had a firm grip on her hair and pulled it so that she was level with her eyes. The girl who had looked so small to Jude earlier suddenly seemed larger than life.
"No one is going to find you." Amber's voice was low and even, somehow making her seem even more crazy in that moment. "Get it through your head, Jude. It's over."
It's over it's over it's over itsoveroveroverover.
The words ran together in Jude's mind and she found herself almost believing them. This time it didn't matter how tight Amber's grip on her hair was, Jude practically toppled over, the weight of the situation coming clear. She knew that she wasn't going to remain conscious much longer and while a small part of herself wished that moment to be now so she didn't have to remember this terrifying ordeal, she knew that the window was closing for her to take action.
As she bent at the waist, she felt a rattling sensation from within. She almost attributed it to the drugs coursing through her system, but then...
The panic button.
The hallway went black for a moment; Jude felt the tugging sensation on her arm and was almost aware of Amber speaking to either her or someone else, but she couldn't be sure. She wasn't even sure if her eyes were open or closed at that current moment; she felt truly blind.
Before she could talk herself out of it, before she even understood truly what she was doing, and most importantly, before she lost consciousness, she leaned over, gagging, and as Amber shrieked and stepped away, she allowed herself to grab the panic button within her dress.
She fumbled with it desperately. Her hands were sweaty, her fingers not cooperating, her mind sluggish. Nothing about her situation made sense to her at this moment but all she could think of was that she didn't want to go missing and have no one find out until later. She didn't know what was going to happen to the panic button after she passed out. She didn't want to take a chance that Amber would find it. If she did, who knows how she'd use it against Jude. She could lead everyone on a wild goose chase. She could use it to hurt Tommy.
She thought she had hit the button. She honestly did. But there was no sudden rush to her aid, no SWAT teams coming in, no theme song to Flashpoint being played. With sweaty hands, she tried one last attempt - she knew she had seen Bear do this, but she was having a hard time conjuring even a mental image of Bear at that moment.
"Get the fuck going, Harrison," Amber growled, tugging her again.
Her sweaty hands failed her, of course, and all she was grateful for at that moment was that neither girl heard the soft thump as the panic button flew out of her hands and onto the hallway floor, forgotten.
And then everything went black.