I lie alone in a bedroom for the first time since my dad died. I can't sleep, even though I know it's got to be past midnight. They set us up in a duplex, Daryl, Beth, and Michonne take up one half, and I share the other half with the Grimes family. Rick has his own room, Carl is sharing one with Judith, and I'm all alone. The headache hasn't gone away either, it's just stayed at its dulled state.

I probably should have asked if they had Advil or something here, because they gave us our first decent meal in weeks and plenty of water, and here my headache still stands.

I stare at the ceiling a few moments longer, I can't stand it. I pitch the covers off my body and I throw my legs over the side of the bed. I get up and walk over to the door, I quietly open it, slip through, and nearly silently shut it behind me. My bare feet make sticky sounds on the floor as I walk down the hall to where I know Carl's room is. The air is cold on my bare legs, but an oversized t-shirt hangs to the middle of my thighs.

I reach the door and turn the knob, I peek my head in and Carl's in the twin bed closest to the door. He's not even asleep. I slip inside the room, shutting the door behind me. He sits up and looks at me. He's taken to sleeping without his shirt on, I've gotten used to it, and I'm not gonna lie, I like it.

"Sam?" he squints his eyes through the darkness, "Is everything ok?" he waves his arm indicating me to come over to him. I pad over and he wraps his arm around my waist.

God, you're gonna sound like such an idiot.

I bite my lip, "I can't sleep."

Carl runs his hand over my back, "Neither can I," he admits

"I've slept with someone else, mainly you, with me for so long I just... it was years, Carl. I haven't slept alone since the night my dad died." I feel so goddamn pathetic. The hell is wrong with you Sam?

"Do you wanna sleep here? Judy's out cold, she won't wake up for anything." he offers, and by the look his eyes I know he's not just looking out for me.

A small smile forms on my face, I look at the tiny bed, there's not enough room for both of us to comfortably fit there, "Could you leave her here? I have a bigger bed, it'd be less of a squeeze."

He turns and looks at his little sister curled up on the bed, her breathing is deep and even. He then looks back at me and nods, "C'mon, I'll just make sure I'm back before she gets up." He gets to his feet and takes my hand.

I smile at him, "You're such a good big brother," I kiss him on the cheek.

He smiles and shrugs, "Big brother Carl." He turns around, taking one last look at Judith.

My gut twists uncomfortably, "You know, you don't have to leave. I understand if you wanna stay with her."

He instantly shakes his head at me, "I can't sleep either, I'm useless staying here. Come on, let's just go." he gives my hand a squeeze. I nod and we head out the door, quietly shutting it behind us.

As we walk back to my room a powerful wave of nausea hits me. I slam my hand over my mouth and I dart into my room. I manage to make it to the bathroom in my room and I heave into the toilet. I vomit up everything I ate and then some.

Carl runs into the bathroom after me and he holds back my hair as my guts throw themselves up unforgivingly. I let out a groan and I just hug the toilet bowl for a moment. Carl gets up and wets a washcloth, he squeezes out the excess water and he dabs my face with the cloth. Once my stomach settles again, Carl helps me to my feet.

"You should wash out your mouth, just to try and get the taste out." he advises. I nod and I drink from the sink, not swallowing the water, only swishing it around in my mouth. I spit it out and Carl's right, my mouth doesn't feel nearly as foul.

"What was all that?" he finally asks, he's still wiping off my face with the damp cloth.

I shake my head, racking my mind for what happened or why I suddenly felt so sick, "It just came over me." I shrug

Carl's brow knits with concern, "Do you think it was something you ate?" he pushes away the hair that's trying to fall in my face.

I shrug, "I don't know, it just hit me all the sudden. I was fine when I came to see you."

Carl bites the inside of his bottom lip, "You didn't feel sick at all? No fever, headache, not even like a glimpse of nausea?"

"I have had a headache pretty much since we got here." I admit. A look of realization flashes in his eyes.

"Why didn't you say something?" his eyebrows furrow

I shrug indifferently, "It wouldn't have made a difference, it was mainly just annoying."

Carl's hand cups my cheek, he grimaces slightly, "You should have told me." He kisses my forehead, "Now come on. I know we'll have a busy day tomorrow, we should get some sleep while we can, ok?" I nod and even though I can walk just fine, Carl helps guide me back to my bed. I crawl back under the covers and scoot over so he has room.

"Are you gonna throw up all over me?" Carl asks half-jokingly. I shake my head and curl right up next to him, my head resting on his bare chest, and he wraps his arms around me. My body succumbs to the exhaustion I've been drowning in for a while now and my world fades to blackness.

I wake up to Carl shifting, the sun is just beginning to illuminate the window. He notices me being awake, "I gotta get back to Judy before she wakes up. Poor kid barely got to sleep last night, not sure what she'd do if I wasn't there when she woke up. Sorry bookworm," he hastily kisses my temple.

"See ya later, sheriff," I mumble, still half asleep. I should really be getting up. The headache is gone this morning, which is good, I'd hate to waste precious resources over a stupid headache. I let out a large exhale of air and sit up, stretching. I yawn and roll my neck, shrugging my shoulders. I blink the sleep from my eyes and get out of bed.

I remember that I'm not on the road, or camping out in some house until the zombies come knocking and realize that I can actually shower. God, how long has it been?

It doesn't matter, I remind myself, I can now and that's all that matters. I grab clothes out from the bottom of my backpack, I don't think I've worn these in a while. I go into the bathroom and shut the door. I set my clothes on the sink counter and I pull open the curtain to the shower/bath I turn on the water and I find there's even a toothbrush and toothpaste sitting on the sink. Damn, why didn't I notice that last night? Sure would've helped a hell of a lot more than just washing out my mouth.

I strip down and get in the shower, my body relaxes under the constant pounding of the hot water. And I make full use of what cleaning products have been provided. Soon I smell like I belong in a flower shop instead of a zombie apocalypse and I don't feel absolutely disgusting for the first time in a long while.

I wear a black t-shirt and army green cargo capris. I lace up my Docs and pull my hair up in a ponytail. I head down the hall to Carl's room to check in on him and Judith.

I open the door and I can hear Judith splashing in the bathtub.

"Carl?" I ask, looking around the room, finding him nowhere to be found. I step into the room, and stand awkwardly.

"In here, can you help me? Judith is getting a little crazy." Carl calls from the bathroom. I roll my eyes and walk into the bathroom. I stand in the doorway, looking in on the chaos in front of me.

Carl's drenched from head to toe in the clothes he must have already changed into, water is all over the floor and Judith is splashing in the remaining water wildly, giggling and smacking her hands in the water.

"Judith, you silly girl," I smile at her, "what have you done? It's not nice to get your big brother all wet like that." I walk over to the bathtub and crouch down on my knees.

"So what have you accomplished?" I look at Carl, even his hair is wet, but that may have been because he took a shower before this. I ruffle his hair and he glares for a moment.

"Besides making a total mess, absolutely nothing. She just loves being in the water. I guess she's just not used to bathing." Carl grimaces.

"Well we can fix that, besides we're here now. If this place can sustain itself we'll be here for a long time. Maybe even the rest of our lives." I smile at him, I rest a hand on his shoulder.

He lets out a sigh, "Don't start talking like that yet, we haven't been here a day." he says, there's a slight hint of chastising, "It is a nice idea though." he admits

I nod, what was I thinking? I still don't trust these guys 100%. I guess the fact that the rest of our crew, minus Bob, I heard his death was tragic (isn't that just too bad), helps with that though. I mean they seem to be doing pretty well here in Alexandria, why not us too?

"Regardless, we still have to clean up this cutie pie," I turn to Judith, smiling. She giggles and splashes some more, getting water on my shirt, "Your big brother doesn't know how to give you a bath does he?" I tease Carl, while still playing with Judith.

"Nope," she shakes her head and giggles.

"Hey!" Carl protests, "Where's the loyalty? You just like making a mess, I tried!"

I look at him and raise an eyebrow, "Are you really defending yourself against a four year old?"

He ducks his head, and I laugh, nudging him with my elbow. Then I lean forward and grab some of the shampoo, I pool it in my hand, "Ready to clean up that hair, Judy? If I put the shampoo in your hair can you scrub it all in for me?"

She nods, giving me a wide toothy grin and I make sure the shampoo gets all around her head, then Judith puts her hands on her head and rubs them all around her wet head until the shampoo is nice and rubbed in.

"Ok, Judy, close your eyes nice and tight. We're gonna wash out all that soap." Carl tells her. She complies and her little eyes are tightly squinted shut.

Carl finds an empty cup and fills it with tub water and pours it on Judith's head. All the soap drips over her body as it leaves her hair. Carl does this a couple more times until we're sure it's all out.

"Is it all gone?" she asks

There's this smile on Carl's face that he just can't hide, "Yes, Judy, you can open your eyes now,"

"Okey." Judith blinks open her green eyes and smiles up at her big brother.

"Now it's time to clean your arms and your legs and everywhere else, what do we use for that?" Carl asks her. Whenever he speaks to Judith, his naturally deep, deep voice goes up an octave and he uses a special voice. I'm sorry, but it's just plain adorable.

"Soap," Judith splashes her hands in the water on each side of her.

Carl grins, "You're so smart." he dunks a bar of soap in the water then hands it to her, "Scrub, scrub, scrub. All over your arms and legs, Sam or I will get your back, ok?"

"Ok," she giggles, taking the soap with her small fingers. She rubs the soap on one arm and then the other. Then she rubs her legs. She hands the bar back to Carl and Carl gets her to turn around, he rubs the bar across her back and then her stomach. I use the cup to help wash the soap off.

"I think we're all done," I tickle Judith's stomach, she giggles and splashes us some more, "See? That wasn't so hard."

"Thanks bookworm," Carl gives a resigned sigh

I grin at him, "What would you do without me?"

He rolls his eyes.

I start to stand up, "So do you need me anymore? Should I wait for you to go to breakfast- they do have breakfast here, right?"

"We gonna eat?" Judith looks at Carl then me. Carl stands up and grabs a towel for Judith. She stands up in the tub and Carl wraps the towel around her. He picks her up.

He holds her so she's propped up against his hip and one arm holds her butt and the other hand holds her back, "Yes Judy, we're gonna eat breakfast and then you're gonna get to meet all the other kids! How cool is that?"

"Very cool! Very cool!" she squeals

Carl smiles and turns to me, "Hey can you help me get her dressed? I don't want her to run out naked or anything." Judith giggles at that.

I roll my eyes, "No problem."

Everyone still kind of takes on the role of caring for Judith, but really it's mainly Carl. Ever since we reunited with her, he's been much closer to her and he's taken on a lot more responsibility with her. I also have taken to caring for her, since I love being with Carl, and he loves being with her, I really don't mind.

I dig through a bag that's got her clothes in it, I grab a pink t-shirt and a pair of kiddie overalls. They're looking a bit ragged, but really, what doesn't look like that these days? Carl sets her down and dries her off and towel dries Judith's hair. Then he helps me get her dressed and makes sure she holds still. I tie her hair up into a high ponytail, I roll up the legs on the overalls because they're too long for her short legs and I don't want her to trip. I tell Carl I've got it under control if he wants to change clothes. He grabs a dry set and goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. Then I put on her socks and shoes.

"Are you ready?" I bend down to Judith's level, grinning excitedly, trying to put as much light on this new place as possible. I twinge of guilt seizes my stomach as I realize I'm really trying to amp up myself.

"Yes! Let's go eat!" she jumps up and down.

"Alright, we gotta wait for Carl though, ok?"

"Okay! Cawl hurry up! I wanna eat!" she calls. He opens the door a moment later with dark jeans and a gray t-shirt on. He picks up his hat and sets it on his head.

"I wanna wear the hat!" Judith stretches up towards Carl with grabbing hands.

He bends down and picks her up, resting her on his hip. She stretches up and finally grabs the brim of the hat, she pulls down on it and it falls into Carl's eyes. I crack a smile and he takes the hat off his head and sets it on hers. It immediately falls down into her eyes and she pushes it up so she can see. She has to hold it there, so it doesn't fall back and she giggles some more.

"I do believe there's a new sheriff in town," Carl tickles Judith. She lets out a playful squeal.

"Does that mean I the boss now?" she smiles wide.

Carl's expression is soft as he looks back at his little sister, "Sure thing Judy, whatever you want."

"Food." is all she says

"Well then let's get going!" I say lightly. Carl sets Judith down and she takes off the hat, handing it back to Carl. He smirks and sets it back on his head.

Judith starts jumping up and down excitedly again, then she takes one hand of Carl's and one of mine. As we walk out of the room Judith looks up at Carl, "Is Daddy gonna eat?"

Carl looks unsure, but quickly tries to mask it for Judith, "Yes, I'm sure he'll be there. Daddy has to eat, doesn't he?"

Here comes that un-ideal environment business again. There was many a time while out on the road that Rick wouldn't eat so his children could. It was hard and not a good thing for Judith to have to see and endure. No matter how we try to hide it and try to give her a sense of humanity, she still sees us going hungry and thirsty, she may not remember it well, but she's seen people die. She's seen the walkers, she knows they're a danger. Carl and I had to grow up fast, but Judy she was raised in this world, she has to grow up even faster.

We walk out of the duplex and down the street to a pavilion where they told us they'd be serving breakfast.

Carl looks over at me and nods down at Judith, without any real conversation we simultaneously decide to start swinging her. We lift her up pretty high so even with her legs extended she doesn't touch the ground.

Judith giggles, "Higher! Higher!"

We get her as high as we deem safe and by then we're at the pavilion.

"Ok Judy, time to come back down!" I tell her, we set her back down and she stands on her own two feet once more.

She jumps around, pulling at our hands, "Again, again!"

Carl smiles at her, "Maybe later."

A woman approaches us, she's got gray hair up in a bun and rectangular glasses that sit on the end of her nose, "Your daughter is so cute!" she tells me

My eyes widen, and then dart left and right awkwardly, "She's not mine." I'm only 17, I'll have you know, and I was not having babies at 13, thank you very much.

The woman lifts her eyebrows, "Oh?" then she looks at Carl.

"This is his little sister," I explain

Her lips tighten, "Oh. Well, I'm Erin, I hope you like it here, we're serving breakfast over there." she points to a table about 30 feet away and I can what appears to be pots of oatmeal waiting to be eaten.

Erin walks off and Carl looks at me, "I'll take her to get breakfast if you'll find us a table."

I nod, "Bring me some too, sheriff." I let go of Judith's hand and I lean up and over, kissing Carl on the cheek.

He heads one way, and I go find a table where Rick, Daryl, Beth, and Michonne are already seated. I sit beside Rick, and Michonne greets me.

"How'd you sleep?" she asks

I shrug, "Alright, I guess." I take care not to mention Carl coming to sleep with me, or the fact that I inexplicably threw up everything I'd eaten the night before.

Rick looks around, "Where's Carl and Judy?"

"They went to go pick up something to eat. She asked if you were gonna be here this morning, I'm glad you are." I tell him.

"I wasn't gonna miss out," he replies, "They've got decent meals here and we all need to eat, plus there's plenty to go around."

I nod in agreement, my stomach grumbles and I look towards the table with all the food. Good, they're on their way back.

Rick turns addresses all of us, "We're all to report to Douglas' office right after breakfast. I think it's something about jobs around the town."

I look at Rick, "Do you think they'll give Carl and I jobs? I mean, we're 17, I think we can handle it."

Rick shrugs, "It's not up to me, but I'd imagine so, you two having jobs would just add to the man power, not to mention you've both proven more than capable of handling yourselves."

"Good, I don't want to be a burden here." I strictly explain, "I have to admit, this looks like a pretty good set up, and the people seem good enough. Maybe this time it'll work out? I mean, Abraham and them have been here who knows how long. Why not us too?"

Carl and Judith return and Judith breaks off from Carl and runs as fast as her little legs can carry her over to Rick, "Daddy! Daddy!" she squeals, Rick turns around and picks her up, setting her in his lap.

"Hey Judy, how are you?" Rick smiles genuinely at his daughter. The love shown unto Judith by her father and brother are stronger than I've ever seen before. I mean my parents loved me, but not this... strong I suppose. Then again, I guess Judith is reminder of the family the Grimes men have lost. Judith is a lucky little girl to have such a good big brother and father.

Carl sits down next to me and sets a bowl of oatmeal in front of me.

I smile at him, "Thanks," I peck him on the cheek and he takes my right hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.

After breakfast we all head down as a group, minus Beth who went to go drop Judith off with the other children, to go see Monroe for our jobs. He sat us all down individually and interviewed us, trying to find the best job for each of us.

It turns out that since Carl and I were just kids when this shit got started, that we didn't really have a specialized area of work, so we'll just be doing odd jobs for a while. Which I'm used to doing frankly and have no problem with. I'm just scared Carl will get stuck with farming again, which I know he hates.

Carl and I walk down the sidewalk to go pick up Judith after the interviews. The sun is getting lower in the sky, it'll be dinnertime soon. We walk hand in hand, people greet us, and several introduce ourselves. Many older women asked if we're married, to which we blush and politely tell them no.

"We're 17," I mutter as we walk past what must be the third woman who's asked of our marital status.

"Maybe we look older?" he suggests

"I guess," I shrug

The youngest children, ages 8 and below are taken to someone's house and put in a daycare-like environment. We knock on the door that Beth told us to go to and a woman, probably in her mid-thirties, with an infant in each arm answers the door.

"Are you Paula?" I ask, remembering the name Beth told me.

Her eyes scan over me and she's got this almost blank grimace on her face, "Yes? I assume you're here to pick up the new one?"

"My sister, Judith." Carl butts in

"Uh huh, come on in. Sorry if it's a bit loud, the kids here are a bit rowdy, especially since most just got up from a nap." she informs us. She turns around and Carl holds the door for me to go in.

She's right, it is loud. Loud enough for me to remember why I didn't hang out around the other children at Woodbury, or the prison for that matter.

"Cawl!" Judith calls, immediately recognizing her big brother. She runs towards us and hugs his legs.

"She's probably the quietest one here, although it was her first day. That's to be expected really." Paula shrugs, she's laid the babies down... somewhere, because her arms are empty now.

Carl extracts his sister from his legs and he picks her up, "And how was your day?"

"The other kids were weird," she tries to whisper to Carl, but it's loud enough for me to hear.

"Oh? Were they mean?" Carl inquires, a protective tone lingers in his voice.

She shakes her head, "No, just weird."

"Thank you," I tell Paula as we head out the door.

We walk back down the street, heading to the duplex we're staying in. It's a silent walk, and Carl's still carrying Judith when she speaks up.

"Why don't I have a mommy?" her tone is so innocent yet heartbreaking.

Carl's face loses all color and he swallows hard, staring ahead. I know what he's thinking.

"Here," I offer to Carl, I take Judith so it's one less weight bearing down on him, "Goodness girl, you're getting heavy." I carry her so she's propped against my hip. I'd almost suggest Rick explaining it to her, but I don't want to risk him breaking down in front of his daughter. I know what Lori's death did to him and to Carl.

"She died when you were really little," Carl finally says, he tries to keep his voice from cracking and to stay strong for Judith.

"Why did you want to know?" I ask Judith, trying to get her attention off of Carl.

"The other kids," she says, her head droops, "They talked about their Mommies."

Sympathy hits me in the gut hard, "Oh, I'm sorry Judy."

"Did you know Mommy?" Judith asks.

I shake my head sadly, "No sweetie, I'm sorry. I don't think you remember the prison, but it was our home before. I came there with a bunch of other people, but your mom was already gone. I heard a lot of stories about her though, she was a wonderful person."

"She was the best, Judy," Carl promises.

We hand Judith over to Rick once we get back to the duplex and ask if Carl can move his stuff into my room. Rick is reluctant at first, but some gentle persuasion managed to convince him otherwise.

Carl hasn't really unpacked much, so it's a matter of picking up his duffel bag and walking down the hall.

"Wow," I say as we walk into my room

Carl turns to me, "What is it?"

"We're sharing a room." I say, still a little in disbelief, "Not because space is tight, and we're on the road, but because we want to and we're gonna live here."

"And?" Carl shrugs, a smirk settles nicely on his face.

"It's just... nice..." I smile vaguely at him.

He kisses my forehead, "That it is. So should we unpack?"

We can, we can unpack. We're going to have lives here, and Judith will have playmates and she won't become cold, and Carl and I will share a room for the hell of it and life is going to be better than it was or it has been.

"Yeah," I smile at him happily. I pick up my bag and I set it on the bed next to Carl's. We decide that Carl takes the top two drawers of the dresser and I take the bottom two, because apparently my height means that I automatically am stuck with lower drawers.

Admittedly I don't have enough clothes to fill one drawer, let alone two, but I optimistically split up my shirts and pants. In hopes that one day, I'll accumulate more clothes.

I place my pair of white washed jeans in the bottom most drawer and I stand up. It feels like needles are gouging themselves into my skull and black spots dance in my vision. I grab the dresser to steady myself because a sense of disorientation washes over me. I finally resolve to sitting down and holding my head until the pain subsides, or at least becomes less prevalent.

"Sam?" Carl's attention flashes to me.

"It's nothing," I mumble, I squint my eyes shut and try to stop all thinking, block out all sounds, and stop feeling this pain entirely.

He crouches down next to me, "Sam."

"Stop talking," I croak out, it sounds like I'm begging.

"Sam, what is it?" his hand runs over my back.

"Get me an aspirin or something," get him to leave, yeah, that'll make it quiet.

I hate myself for causing such a scene.

The worry in his voice is palpable, "Is it another headache?"

Why do I have to be such a goddamn drama queen?

"Please," my voice cracks

Stop. Hating on yourself will just make it hurt more.

Carl gets to his feet and heads out the door.

I sit there for what feels like an eternity, drowning in the sensation I can only describe as agony. It doesn't ebb this time.

I don't hear Carl come back in, I just feel him shaking my shoulder, I open my eyes and look at him, he's got a couple aspirin a cup of water. I down the water and the aspirin, but there's no immediate relief.

"Is there anything else I can-"

I cut Carl off and turn to him with my arms open, he gets the picture, I cuddle up next to him and he holds me until finally I can blink without it hurting.

"We should probably get to dinner," I tell him, "We're already late as it is."

His eyes are wide with concern, "Are you gonna be ok? Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Let's just go, I'd hate to get to dinner late and make Rick think he should regret letting you move in."