A/N: It is with a glad heart and much excitement that I post this update for TLC. As many of you know, I have been on a forced hiatus since September due to an ongoing family crisis. Considering how utterly obsessive I am about TLC (and my betas can attest to this), it was not, nor has it ever been my intention to leave this story incomplete. I left a note on my profile in the fall because I don't like the idea of sending fake-out chapters to notify readers of story issues. Most of you have been more than gracious and understanding, and for that I am truly grateful.
There are only about five more chapters left and an epi. Looking forward to completing this early in the 1st Quarter of 2011. Thank you all for hanging in there with me.
I'd also like to thank my betas: Irritable Grizzzly, SavageWoman and Shug. Your strengths in editing are legendary, and I hope you know that my love for you, and your diligent and creative care for me, and my story, is without parallel.
Big love to Cereulean Blue and Rochelle Allison for pre-reading this for me.
Chapter 31 - Ne Me Quitte Pas
"Bella's still being watched—closely." Charlie said flatly. "That's the only way the perp would have known where to deliver this letter."
The hairs on the back of Edward's neck stood on end, and the knot that had formed in his stomach as he read the stalker's words clenched like a fist.
His voice shook audibly as he replied, "And some of these photos were taken at the center. I've been combing through old cases trying to find a connection from the past that might help me identify who's behind this."
"Keep looking," Charlie advised soberly. "There has to be someone connected to a case who has a vendetta against you, for whatever reason."
"This note seems to be directed at Bella personally. I'd like to know if there were other deliveries to my family members, but it's too late to check now. I'll find out in the morning."
"Let's run a few scenarios. See what we can shake loose."
Edward was thankful to have Rev. Swan assisting him on the case. He'd been a veteran police officer before taking on his new vocation and could offer a fresh perspective. Of course he had a vested interest, since Bella was the primary target. Edward borrowed a legal pad from George, and they sat in the lobby and outlined investigation strategies.
By the time Edward and Charlie had exhausted every conceivable angle, it was well past midnight. Edward's desire to propose to Bella on her birthday had unintentionally slipped away from him.
As he walked Charlie to his car, his emotions were a jumbled mess. Selfishly, he wanted to barrel right through all that was going on and ask Bella to marry him anyway. No matter what happened, he still wanted her to be his wife. On the other hand, he was certain that her safety should be his priority, otherwise he could get careless.
The new developments in the case concerning Bella weighed heavily on him. It settled in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. He wanted to feel good about the investigation, but he'd been going through old case reports for what seemed like weeks, looking for something that wasn't there. Reality coiled in his gut like a snake, and he feared that he wouldn't be able to strike soon enough to keep Bella and his family safe.
When they reached his car, Charlie popped the door locks using his keyless entry, but instead of getting in, he turned back to Edward. "My untimely visit and that letter we intercepted ruined your plans for proposing to Bella on her birthday. Sorry about that."
Edward had to work to muster a smile. "It's okay. We can always choose another day and make it special."
He didn't fool Charlie. "Bella made you a part of our family the minute she accepted you unconditionally. She loves you, and Renee and I are okay with that. I have a feeling that like me, you internalize things. That makes it difficult for you to play well with others sometimes. But I know you'd take a bullet for my baby girl." He pulled opened the door, pausing to glance over his shoulder. "Stop beating yourself up about this situation and do your job, Officer."
Rev. Swan was so spot-on in his assessment that Edward didn't know how to reply. He decided to go with something simple, or he'd be outside talking to his pastor and his future father-in-law for another hour, maybe more. "Thanks, and good night, Rev. Swan."
The closing door echoed with a finality that jarred his nerves to the point of fraying. The euphoria of celebrating Bella's birthday and his impending proposal had worn off and segued into an anticlimax, evidenced by his inability to process fully what Charlie had said. Had he been able to, the next couple of months of hell might not have been necessary.
~888~
Of course, Bella was sound asleep when he finally re-entered the condo to join her. It was just as well. He was no longer in a celebratory mood. Bella must have anticipated this, because she had put away the champagne and cake before she turned in. After taking off his shoulder holster and putting away his gun, he quietly undressed in the closet and then pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and climbed into bed with her. As the mattress dipped, she slid effortlessly into his arms and emitted a sigh that tickled the hairs on his chest. He tucked her head under his chin and molded into her soft warmth.
Edward thought about the stacks of folders on the desk back at her apartment. He'd known that he'd probably get no information, but he took the time to go through them anyway, just to be thorough. He had to investigate all the possibilities. Charlie had suggested that he needed to triangulate from the cases and look for perps connected with the cases in some peripheral way. He was eager to begin that process first thing in the morning.
For the moment, he lay there, his arms tightening infinitesimally around her, as if she might disappear in her sleep if he didn't hold on. Oddly, his arms didn't feel like they belonged to him. He was so deep in thought he didn't see or feel her wake up until she whispered softly to him.
"My dad didn't give you a hard time, did he?"
He was immediately able to find her eyes in the ambient semi-darkness. "No, not at all. He was uncharacteristically calm considering the state he found us in earlier. I wasn't thinking clearly when George announced him. I should have warned you."
She closed her eyes, and he felt her shaking in his arms as he struggled to see what was going on. "Bella? Are you all right?" For a few seconds he was alarmed that she might be crying, but when he lifted her chin, she burst into laughter that came from so deep within her gut, she was trembling.
He just smiled and shook his head, waiting for her laughter to subside. "What?" he finally inquired when she had calmed down enough to reply.
"I was just remembering the look on your faces when I came out in my skimpy nightie."
He chuckled. "I'm sure we'll all have images of each other's faces burned indelibly on our minds for some time to come."
Bella wiped her eyes with her fingers. "I laugh now, but I can't believe my dad didn't have more to say on the subject when he talked to you. You were gone a couple of hours." She narrowed her eyes. "You sure you aren't holding out on me, Cullen?"
He placed his hand on his heart. "Scout's honor. Suffice it to say, I think your father is settling into accepting that what we have is real. He also realizes that you're an adult and he has to trust you'll make choices that go along with the woman he raised you to be."
"Then I'm really glad he didn't show up twenty minutes earlier, or that conversation might not have gone nearly as well," she teased.
Though it wasn't officially her birthday anymore, Edward didn't want to ruin her "day" by telling her about the stalker or any of the other things he and Charlie had discussed. She was in a good mood. Besides, he was emotionally overwrought, and once he told her, she'd want to know all the details and they'd be up all night. Light banter he could handle.
"Yeah, he might have been inclined to officiate a shotgun wedding had he been aware of our previous activities." As awful as it sounded, he rather wished that all they had to worry about was the Reverend's concern for his daughter's virtue.
"At the very least, he might have acted like a character from a Jane Austen novel and challenged you to a duel."
"I kind of prefer the six-shooters Clint Eastwood brandished in his spaghetti westerns."
"I can see you in a cowboy get-up with a cheroot hanging out of your mouth, just so. Think of all the fun we could have with you in nothing but a vest and a pair of chaps." She giggled.
"Now that we're talking costumes, I'd love to see you in a gymnastics leotard or cheerleader uniform."
"Ooh, I still have both in my parents' attic somewhere."
"We'll need to be retrieving those sometime after all this mess is over." He immediately regretted saying that last part the moment it was out of his mouth.
She seemed confused for a second, but then remembered just what this mess was.
"Any new developments in the investigation?"
Why did I have to go there?
He really wanted to find out if anyone else in his family had gotten a threatening letter before telling her anything. That information would solidify the next course of action in a way that he hoped wasn't necessary, but his immediate concern was how to put her off from this line of questioning without alarming her. Especially if the new developments weren't a full-out assault on everybody he loved. He decided to go with a direct approach, topped with a little bit of distraction.
"There are so many more interesting things to do tonight than talk about that. I promise to fill you in tomorrow morning, but right now, I just wanna kiss my twenty-three-year-old girlfriend until she falls asleep." With that, he lightly brushed her lips with his.
"I won't argue with my twenty-eight-year-old boyfriend about that," she murmured.
Within a few minutes, their passionate kisses made them forget everything else except lips locked in a smoldering embrace, hands kneading flesh, and desire that raged through them both like a brushfire.
~888~
Their alarm the next day was an early-morning phone call from Carlisle. Bella came out of her sleep-induced stupor first and nudged him.
"Baby, your phone..."
Edward extricated one arm from around her and grabbed his cell phone off the nightstand. "Cullen," he answered groggily.
"I'm sure I've awakened you, and I'm sorry, Edward," Carlisle said apologetically. "I'm headed off to the hospital to do my rounds, and I needed to give you a heads-up about something."
Edward, waiting for the other shoe to fall, answered his uncle monosyllabically, "Yeah?"
"The stalkers delivered us all a letter sometime yesterday evening taunting in various ways about how easy it would be to get to us despite all your efforts to protect your family."
"I figured as much. Bella got a similar letter last night." Considering that they hadn't had a chance to discuss the events of the night before, he could see the unspoken questions in her eyes.
"I wanted to let you know that I'm not willing to risk the women in this family being hurt, or worse."
Edward sat up abruptly, and Bella followed suit. "What are you planning to do, Uncle Carlisle?"
"We knew you were celebrating Bella's birthday, so we didn't want to call you last night, but we've decided to send the women away for a while. Esme and Alice will be going to Seattle for an extended holiday with her sister, and Elizabeth has agreed to go to Indianapolis. Ted is deteriorating. As you know, his doctor and I were friends in college, and he keeps me abreast of your father's progress, or lack thereof."
Edward wasn't sure which alarmed him more: the news of sending the women away, or his possible genuine concern that his father might really be suffering from the many years he'd abused his body with alcohol. Carlisle was the only one who'd ever addressed his father with the nickname Ted, a fact that Edward hadn't dwelt on in many years. He must have taken a few too many seconds to respond, because Carlisle launched into an explanation.
"It's not that we don't trust you to wrap this up as quickly as you can, but Jasper and I felt this was the best move for Alice and Esme. Your mother was very kind to offer to go take care of Ted since I'm not in a place right now where I can get away easily—"
"I know this makes it look like the situation is escalating out of control, but I plan to petition Captain Black for some more manpower today to get it resolved quickly. When I collect the letters from each of you, I'm sure it'll be enough to convince him. I don't blame you one bit for making alternate preparations for keeping everyone safe. I'll be doing the same for Bella immediately." Then he couldn't mask the sarcasm in his final words. "And as for my mother, if she wants to play nursemaid to her ex-husband, who am I to object?"
"Thanks for understanding Edward. And cut your folks some slack, okay? It's a miracle they both agreed to this unorthodox arrangement, considering how volatile their relationship was in the waning years of their marriage. However, Elizabeth indicated to me that you might have been considering joining her in Indianapolis once the case is solved."
"I did promise to seriously consider it, since Dr. Levy has been saying it would be good for me. It's not exactly at the top of my list of what I want to do after this is all over, but I'm doing it for me and Bella, not for him." Bella linked her arm in his and leaned on his shoulder when he said her name. She was silently soothing him, because she knew how riled up he could get when talking about his father.
"Jasper and I are cognizant of the risks we face by staying behind, but we'd much rather be a target than our wives. We'll be keeping the off-duty police detail until you say otherwise."
"Good idea," Edward agreed. "Make a couple of bogus flight reservations to other places just in case, but make sure they're refundable and cancel them later. We don't know how sophisticated the perps may be."
"Will do," Carlisle said. "And Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"Your mom would probably love to see you and Bella before her flight leaves tomorrow."
As much as he wanted to believe that he wouldn't go through with the contingency plan he'd hatched up with Charlie the night before, he was now almost certain he would have to take drastic measures to protect Bella. "I'll pay her a visit tonight," he said, his voice cracking with the realization that a separation from the woman he loved more than life itself was probably imminent.
"Something's happened, hasn't it?" Bella asked the second he hung up.
He felt like he was choking as he fully comprehended the gravity of what he would have to do. All his focus and training as a Marine and a police officer was failing him miserably. He didn't recognize his own voice as he told her about the threatening letters each of his family members had received the night before, plus the one delivered to her. He showed her the letter and explained their need to tighten security yet again.
Edward hated to dump all this on her so soon after her birthday while she was still struggling to accept the security detail she had already. However, he couldn't figure out who was after her unless he was certain that she was safe. That part would be relatively easy. He, or someone with his skill set, would shadow her at all times until they apprehended the bastards.
So why was he still agonizing over everything? Why was there a vise-like grip in his chest, cutting off his air until he could barely think logically? Why did he fear telling her what he and Charlie had agreed to, when rightfully, he should be planning when to propose to her again?
Then, with a certainty that made him nauseous, he knew why.
There was no hiding from the truth. Bella would never agree to go stay with her aunt until they solved the case, and as long as she was with him, she would be in danger. He would have to let her go to keep her safe, not only from the stalker but also from their quickly escalating and uncontrollable passion. He'd barely been able to make the choice to act honorably the night before, which was the only choice he could have made and still been able to look at himself in the mirror. She'd held true to her convictions for so long—he couldn't live with himself if she broke her vow now.
However, all that paled in comparison to the danger she faced from the lunatic who was threatening his family. He couldn't imagine how he would survive if this guy somehow managed to get to Bella. He couldn't do it, couldn't live without her. He had fallen into a self-destructive spiral when Paul died, but Edward knew that if anything were to happen to Bella, he would not be able to live long enough to self-destruct.
He had to let her go.
The stalkers needed to believe that she wasn't important to him, and maybe that would spare her from her identification as a target. He had to put some distance between them and make it believable enough to anyone observing so they would leave her alone. Whoever this was had some sort of connection that got them close enough to keep an eye on everyone in his life, but just removed enough to avoid discovery. It would kill him to be away from her, but there was no other choice. Her safety was paramount.
After he concluded his recitation of everything that had transpired recently on the case, he paused and looked at Bella. Even though he knew what she was going to say, he had to at least try to get her to agree to leave for a while.
"Bella, your dad and I discussed the idea of you going to stay with your Aunt Lonette until we get a handle on things." Just as he expected, she was already shaking her head before he even finished talking.
"I can't just leave. It's the beginning of the school year. Who would run the Center?"
"The volunteers?"
"We're already without Alice. Take me out of the picture and the volunteers would be so short-staffed, they'd probably all bail before I came back."
"Your safety is more important to me than the program. You can build it back when you return."
"Those children are so used to being thrown away, they wouldn't understand. I have to be there for them, and I'm not letting this… this stalker frighten me into letting those children down."
Edward ran his hands through his hair, then scrubbed his face in frustration. "If the stalker gets to you, you might never be there for them again."
"Then I suppose that's just a risk I'll have to take," she said stubbornly and stalked off to the bathroom.
Edward felt the force of those words like a jackhammer to his gut, but he followed her, hoping desperately that he could change her mind. "Bella, please..."
"I won't do it, Edward." She grabbed her toothbrush and slathered it with toothpaste. "TPD is just going to have to find out who's doing this with me working at the Center. I am not going to run off and leave you and the rest of your family just as vulnerable as I would be." She began furiously brushing her teeth.
"That's just it, baby. Uncle Carlisle and Jasper are sending Esme and Alice to Seattle, and my mother is going to stay with my father, of all people."
"No offense, but Esme, Alice, and your mother are housewives. They don't have eighty children they're responsible for. I do!"
He felt like someone had taken razor wire to his throat as he prepared to utter the words he never thought he'd have to say. "Then I guess we just need to put some distance between us until this is wrapped up."
Bella almost swallowed her toothbrush. Had she heard him right? They'd just shared the most special birthday of her existence and for weeks had declared their love for one another in ways that she had never dreamed of doing with any man, and he was talking separation? She took a deep breath, struggling to breathe, because his words had taken all the wind out of her.
As her lungs expanded a pain unlike any she'd ever had to endure ripped through her. Tears threatened, and her throat began to close. Edward's eyes were sad and red, and a muscle in his jaw was working like mad. Too proud and angry to cry, she spat the toothpaste inelegantly in the sink and turned the water on more forcefully than she intended. As the cold water splashed onto the front of her nightgown, it sobered her briefly. She struggled to turn it off, but for a few seconds, it wouldn't budge.
Edward leapt into action and tried to turn it off for her. "I'll get it," he said, his voice thick with emotion.
She tried to bat his hands away. "I've got this! I've got—" He grabbed the handle and turned it off with one powerful twist.
She backed away and wrapped her arms around her own waist as if trying to hold back the pain. Her nightgown was soaked in front, but she didn't feel the wetness, only the agony. Grabbing a towel, Edward gingerly dabbed at the water marks, but she yanked it from his hands and wicked the excess moisture away, then placed the towel haphazardly back on the rack. She was so upset she couldn't see straight.
"Bella—"
She turned on her heel and walked out of the bathroom into the closet, but Edward wouldn't let her walk away. He followed her, and she flinched as she felt his hand encircle her arm. Rounding on him, she hissed vehemently, "Don't!"
He dropped his hands to his sides, and she almost melted when she saw the anguish in his face. "Bella, this time away won't change how we feel for each other. Nothing can change that. As soon as the people threatening to hurt you and my family are behind bars, we can go on with our lives—together—but right now, I'm a liability to all of you. You're in increasing danger the longer you're associated with me, and if you leaving town for a while is out of the question, then this is our only other option."
"So how does this work, Edward? Should I tell people that you dumped me, or that I dumped you?"
"We don't have to tell people anything. You'll just quietly move back in with your parents until its safe for you to move back here."
"With my parents?
"It's the safest place for you, besides being here with me, and your dad is a trained cop. He's the only person I know who'll take care of you the way I would."
"So, you and my dad cook up this scheme, with no input from me, mind you, and I'm just supposed to agree to it?"
"You had another option and chose not to take it," he said in an unemotional voice. Then his face crumbled, and he took her hand. "Bella, I don't want to fight about this. I need to be able to do my job without being distracted.
"Is that what I am now? A distraction?"
He pulled her into his arms, and she allowed him because she was too emotionally distraught to resist. "Absolutely not. If your very life didn't depend on my focus on the job, it wouldn't matter, but because it does, I need to do everything I can to make you safe."
Bella's arms went around him involuntarily, and she held on for dear life. Despite his reassurances that this separation would be brief and wouldn't affect their feelings for one another, she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that it would ultimately change things between them forever, and not in a good way. Only yesterday Edward had made her the happiest girl in Tallahassee, and now, less than a day later, he truly believed that the danger to her necessitated his removal from her life. In the few hours before they both had to report to work, she discovered that no amount of discussion would dissuade him.
~888~
Bella found no joy or solace in her work at the Center. She kept remembering that at the end of the day, she would not be joining Edward at the condo. Her father would come and pick her up, and together they would effectively move her out of the place she had grown to think of as her home; a home that she'd hoped she and Edward would share someday. The threats to her and his family had driven him to make a decision without her input—a decision she did not agree with. A fact, which made her angrier, the more she thought about the situation.
Most of the afternoon, she'd delegated activities with the children to the volunteers and sought refuge in her office. She could tell from the side-eyed looks and unasked questions in their eyes that they were concerned, but they sensed her need for privacy and gave her a wide berth. Today was a day to steer clear of people, because she knew that the slightest stimulus or kindness would catapult her over the edge. If it were possible, she was both angry and brokenhearted at the same time.
She shook her head in an attempt to clear it as she finished up the daily report. Once it was complete, she printed a hard copy, then went to put it away, only to find the folder practically bursting at the seams. When she was troubled, she found that getting things organized was her way of coping, so she decided to create monthly file folders.
After making all the folders, she began the tedious task of filing them all away and found that the two-drawer cabinet was woefully small for all the files she now had. However, she wasn't going to let it deter her from getting them all off her desk. She squeezed them in a few at a time until she got to the last of them and found herself hurling expletives under her breath because the final file wouldn't fit. In her dogged determination to get it into the drawer, she pushed until she finally got it in, but broke a nail in the process. Cursing her misfortune, she slammed the drawer shut.
"I'm glad I'm not that drawer, boss," Maria teased wryly.
Bella looked up to Maria leaning against the doorjamb, then back down at her broken nail, and burst into tears.
Maria discreetly closed the door, locked it, and rushed over to comfort her.
"Bel-la," Maria soothed while simultaneously opening her arms. "What's the matter, hmm?"
Bella stood and accepted the comfort Maria offered without hesitation. As she embraced her volunteer and relatively new friend, she settled into a cleansing cry, not sure at all what she should say. The truth would be optimal, but she remembered that Edward didn't want her to trust anyone with that information until the investigation was complete. She decided that a half-truth might be acceptable in this situation.
"E-Edward s-said we should put some distance between us for a while," she sobbed.
"Oh, Bella! You two were so happy Sunday at your birthday thing," Maria commiserated.
"That's why this is s-so hard." It felt so good to cry and release all the pent-up emotion she'd felt since her conversation with Edward. At the same time, she felt bad because she couldn't share the whole truth with Maria, who was being so kind.
Maria pulled away and looked into her eyes. "You want to talk about it?"
Bella's face crumpled again. "I can't—it just—it hurts too much..." That was the honest truth. Despite the fact that Edward had not truly ended their relationship, it did hurt that he would make a decision without consulting her and not leave anything open for discussion. Not to mention they would have virtually no contact until they found the perpetrators. He promised to call her daily, but she wasn't even sure at this point if she would even accept his calls. She could certainly reciprocate his stubbornness in all matters regarding her so-called "safety."
Maria hugged her close again, this time rubbing her back. "I understand. Give him a little space. His own feelings are probably just spooking him. He'll be back, I'm sure of it."
"Th-thank you, Maria," Bella sniffed and pulled away. She grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and dabbed at her eyes, breathing deeply in an effort to compose herself. "I'm sure you came in to talk about something other than my relationship woes. What can I do for you?"
Maria shook her head as she backed away. "It's nothing…nothing that can't wait," she said.
"Are you sure?"
Protesting nervously, she found the doorknob. "Yeah, I am. Sure—that is."
Bella's brow furrowed. "O…kay..."
Straightforward Maria, who never acted weird, was certainly acting weird. Bella wondered if she should mention this to Edward, but then decided that she wouldn't be the one to cave and contact him first. However, she would mention it to her dad so he would be aware of it.
Damned stalkers.
Bella wanted these people to be caught already so their lives could get back to normal. In the meantime, she would watch Maria to make sure she wasn't someone Edward would call "a person of interest."
~888~
Now that her first day without Officer Cullen at the Center was complete, and she and her dad were finally at the condo to move her out, Bella still felt discombobulated by the whole ordeal. Leaving her dad in the living room to watch the early evening news, she moved around in the master bedroom, reminiscing and packing up her belongings. She wondered just how things had become so screwed up. How did you go from happy and madly in love to miserable and pretending to break up all in the span of a day?
The danger had been looming over them for months, but nothing had prepared her for this. Realistically, she would be replacing one ivory tower for another, so to speak. The major difference being Edward wouldn't be locked in with her.
Maybe she could be handling the situation better, but it didn't help that she was simultaneously missing him like crazy and angry as a hornet with her boyfriend. Edward seemed to be taking their forced separation rather well, compared to her inability to think straight in his absence. Several times during the day, she had reached for her cell phone to call him but stopped herself.
Officer Clearwater had been at the Center in Edward's stead, and he had notified her and the volunteers that they would find a replacement soon. Then he'd pulled Bella aside and explained why he wouldn't be taking Edward's place permanently.
"No offense, Bella," Seth said. "I don't mind pinch-hitting here and there when I'm needed, but I enjoy being a beat cop too much."
"I understand," she'd assured him.
"Anyway, I think Edward's trying to convince your girl Rosalie to take the job."
"Really?"
Under normal circumstances, Bella might have actually been excited by this turn of events, but given the sad state of affairs, she couldn't muster any excitement about it.
Bella didn't know if it was intentional or not, but Edward didn't show up to see her off, and that was so unlike him. She moved slowly, hoping against hope that he would come in while she was packing and tell her that he didn't want her to move after all, or at the very least that they didn't need to be separated for an indeterminate period of time, but that didn't happen. Finally, she had packed everything and given the place two once-overs before she realized she couldn't keep her dad waiting any longer.
On the way home, Bella told her dad about how jittery Maria had been acting earlier. He made a mental note and then filled her in on how things would go when she returned home.
"I'll take you to work and pick you up except on your class nights. Officer Hale will take you to and from class on Tuesday and Thursday nights until further notice. Edward cleared that with Captain Black, so no need to worry that Rosalie will get in trouble…" Charlie assured her.
"That's ridiculous. I can drive myself. Isn't my car ready?"
Charlie's voice was calm, yet firm. "Yes, it's fixed and it's parked in our garage where it will stay for now. There's a serious threat against your life, and if you won't go to stay with Lonette, you're gonna have to play by our rules until it blows over."
"'Ours' meaning yours and Edward's? So what? Now he's your best friend?" She regretted the words almost immediately as she uttered them. However, she didn't take it back or apologize. It was uncharacteristic of her, but she couldn't seem to keep her hurt and irritation from spewing out in her words.
Charlie sighed resignedly. "I'm not proud of how I treated Edward previously, baby girl. But his persistence and love for you won my respect. That boy would give his life for you."
"Yeah, he'd give his life for me, but he won't include me in a discussion about issues concerning me." She knew she was acting like an irrational bitch, but while she logically understood why things had to be the way they had to be, she didn't necessarily have to accept it without question or like it, did she?
"We'd both rather be safe than sorry where you're concerned right now. I stand by him on this one."
Bella pouted like a teenager and refused to say anything more the rest of the way home.
For once, Bella was glad that her dad knew all the details about her separation from Edward and had shared it with her mother. She was thankful not to have to go into everything with her mom over dinner, making her sadness and anger spike again. Never in a million years did she think she would be moving back into her old bedroom. It made her feel like she had somehow failed at living successfully as an independent adult.
Her cell phone rang at nine-thirty, and seeing it was Edward, she didn't bother to pick up.
Let him see how being ignored feels for a change.
A few seconds later the house phone rang, and a few seconds after that, there was a knock on her bedroom door.
"Come in," she called begrudgingly.
Her mom entered. "Edward's on the phone for you, lovely."
Bella stood and yawned dramatically. "I'm about to shower and go to bed." It was true, but she also didn't want to talk to Edward, despite how much she missed him. Her heart hurt. If this was what it felt like after one day, she wasn't sure how long she would be able to go without talking to him. And if not talking to him felt this bad, how would she be able to go without seeing him? She was tempted to give in and take the call, but forced herself to remember his unilateral decision-making.
"Are you sure, baby?"
She stubbornly held her ground. "Yes, Mom."
"Okay. Goodnight." Renee slipped back out of her room, and Bella put her phone on silent before she quickly stripped and made her way to the shower. Her tears mingled with the warm water as she struggled to resist calling Edward back.
About a half an hour later, she lay in her bed in the dark, wearing her old soft flannel pajamas and staring at the ceiling. Nina Simone's Ne Me Quitte Pas was playing on a continuous loop from her iPod on its base. She wondered what Edward was doing, even as she struggled to convince herself that she was still very angry with him. After emerging from the shower, she'd checked her cell phone again and saw she had three missed calls, all from Edward.
She couldn't believe that just the day before she'd offered him her virginity. Edward was so protective, that letter was all he'd needed to go into protection overdrive. Or maybe it wasn't that at all. Perhaps she had compromised herself too much, and he might not be as committed as she thought. Had she dodged yet another bullet? Okay, so even that sounded irrational to the queen of irrationality right now. If there was anything Bella knew without a doubt, it was that Edward loved her beyond all reason. And while he may have struggled with commitment in the beginning, he had overcome so much in the time they had been together. Frustrated with herself and feeling guilty for even thinking Edward capable of such duplicity for even a second, Bella punched her pillow and turned onto her side.
She yawned, a real one this time, and curled herself into a semi-fetal position. Truth be told, all the vacillating between being sad, angry, and afraid, was exhausting, and before she knew it, she was sound asleep.
~888~
Bella was jarred awake by a persistent knocking on her door. When she looked at the clock on her nightstand, it registered eleven-fifteen. As her eyes adjusted to her surroundings, she remembered she was in her old bedroom. Sitting up abruptly, she wondered why her mom or dad would be knocking on her door so late.
Groggy from sleep, she stretched and mumbled loudly, "Come in."
Her mother swung the door open and flipped on the light as a very haggard, anxious-looking Edward followed closely behind her.
Bella gasped in surprise, effectively stifling the yawn building in her chest before it escaped. She blinked repeatedly, and was torn between catapulting herself into Edward's arms and stubbornly remaining seated in her bed.
Renee, on the other hand, was in her classic cut-the-crap mode. "Get up, lovely, and talk to your boyfriend."
~888~
E/N: "Ne Me Quitte Pas" (French) – means "Don't Leave Me Now." Look up the song on YouTube, it is hauntingly beautiful.
You had to know that the Francophone in Bella had to choose a French song to wallow in her self-imposed angst. And I absolutely adore Nina Simone.
I just know you all are going to review, if for no other reason than to say, "It's about damn time, Missy!" Love you all. ~ Bev