Today will be a good day. At least that's what I tell myself. Just for one day, I want not to have a headache, or throw up, or any other weird annoying thing that seems to infect and bleed into my daily life. The reason I'm so determined for today to be a good day is because it's Beth and Daryl's wedding. I want to be happy for someone else, so that means the universe will butt out, right?
Wrong.
I immediately wake up not by the shifting of Carl, or the sunlight streaming on my face, but by the pounding in my head and uneasiness in my stomach.
"Son of a bitch." I grumble, rolling onto my side, pressing my face into the pillow.
Carl turns over and wraps his arm around my side, "What is it?" he mumbles, still very much semi-conscious.
"Headache, stomachache. The usual." I've given up on lying to Carl, it's not easy and I'm almost positive it made things worse.
"Do you need me to get you some medicine?" he asks, propping himself up with his elbow.
"No," I pull my face out of the pillow, and I move my hand on top of Carl's, "It's not that bad, just give it a bit."
"You really should get that checked out you know." Carl insists. This isn't the first time he's told me that.
And I respond the way I always do, "What could they actually do for me? It's not worth it."
"It is to me, I wanna know what's wrong, bookworm. I don't like seeing you in pain." Carl protests
"Don't pull that bullshit." I grumble
"It's not bullshit," I feel him sit up completely.
I turn over onto my back and look up at him, "It's probably just migraines. They happen. It's just a thing, I'll get through it. Please don't waste your time worrying."
He shakes his head, "Sam, I love you, but you are stubborn as hell." he cracks the slightest smile.
"Touché, sheriff. Touché." I tease, sitting up, "Come on. There's a busy day ahead of us, we can't just lie around all day long."
Carl smirks, relaxing back a little onto his pillow, "Wouldn't that be nice though?"
I give him a look, "If only. I could read all day long."
Carl nudges me, "You could read to me all day long, sounds like a plan. We just skip out on the wedding and chill here."
Haha, jokes.
"You're forgetting one thing, I am kind of Beth's maid of honor." I probably wouldn't have been Beth's first choice as maid of honor, but Maggie isn't here and she isn't close enough to any of the other girls here, I guess I just happened to be the default, "I can't just crap out on her."
Carl rolls his eyes, "Fair point."
We get up and around, I run over to Judith's room to help her get dressed while Carl showers.
"Hey Sam!" Carl shouts down the hallway. I'm helping Judith get into her purple dress and her nicest shoes, which just happens to be the pair she doesn't wear as much.
"Your big brother can't do anything on his own, can he?" I tease Judith, she giggles and I stand up, going to her bedroom door, I look down the hallway and Carl's only got a pair of cargo pants on.
Lordy. Maybe he should walk around like that all the time. Casual Friday every day, anyone?" What is it, Carl?"
"Are we supposed to dress up for this thing, or what?" he asks
I roll my eyes, he is such a boy. I walk back down the hallway to our room, "Let me help you."
I pull open the drawer of the dresser with his shirts and I find a short sleeve red, yellow, white, and blue plaid shirt. It's new, or at least freshly borrowed... from a store.
"Here, wear this, you'll look nice. Honestly, sheriff, you're hopeless sometimes." I joke, handing him the shirt and kiss him on the cheek, "And make sure you shave, that scruff isn't gonna grow into much in the next couple of hours."
"If I keep shaving it though, it'll never grow into anything." Carl points out.
"Look," I shrug, "I can't help it if you didn't inherit your dad's ability to spontaneously grow a full beard within like a day."
Carl rolls his eyes, "Fine."
"Love ya," I call teasingly on my way back to Judith's room.
Now the wedding isn't anything extravagant, especially by standards of the old world. But it's still the biggest event the safe zone has ever had, everyone is taking the day off of work, except for a couple of people who are rotating guard duty, and Olivia and the girls from the kitchen have to cook the reception meal, there's even going to be a cake. As far as wedding details go, I'm the maid of honor, Rick is Daryl's best man, and Judith is the flower girl. Father Gabriel, who is the preacher here, will perform the ceremony. It's scheduled to take place at noon, the easiest time to approximate, which means we all get to sleep in and the reception meal will be a late lunch.
Once I get Judith all ready, I take her back over to our room so Carl can watch her while I get ready. I wear the nicest thing I have, which is a dark blue, button up, sheer blouse with a dark blue tank top underneath. The sleeves are fitting and cuffed, but the torso of the blouse is quite flowing below the bust. I pair it with my nicest jeans, and of course my Docs. I pull my half hair back and then that's as nice as I'm going to look.
I walk out of the bathroom, "Ready?" I ask the room. Judith is sitting in Carl's lap and they're reading a comic book together.
"One second," Judith calls, not looking up.
Carl closes the book after a moment, "Ok Judy, let's get going. We can read more later, ok?"
I smile at the two, Judith crawls off the bed and walks over to me, "Now we ready." she beams up at me happily.
I take her little hand, and after Carl grabs his hat, he joins us, taking Judy's other hand. He leans past Judy and holds out his other hand which contains something. He presses it into my empty palm, "Please, so you can enjoy today." I look at my palm, ibuprofen. I swallow the pills dry without another word. I mean, he has a point.
We head to the church, and people are already gathering there.
Rick's standing there, talking to Michonne by the doorway, he's wearing a green button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and brown pants. Michonne's wearing a loose, sleeveless maroon top and gray pants. She turns to us and smiles as the three of us approach, Rick turns shortly afterward, nodding in acknowledgement.
"Daddy!" Judith calls, releasing Carl's and my hand, she takes off towards Rick.
Rick picks her up, "Hey baby girl, how are you?"
"Good!" she smiles
Michonne pulls out a basket from her back, "I believe this is for you, flower girl." she offers it to Judith and she takes it excitedly.
"I should probably go find Beth. I'll see you later, ok?" I turn to Carl, I kiss him on the cheek real quick before leaving him to be with his family.
I go into the church and the constant chatter of people in the chapel fills my ears. I make a left and go into a smaller room, it looks like it may have once been a Sunday School area. It now is used as a room for Beth to get ready in.
"Hey Beth, it's me, Sam." I call out, not seeing the bride to be.
Beth peeks her blonde out from a small bathroom in the corner, "Right here." She ducks her head back in and I hear another voice from the bathroom. It's obviously female and I vaguely recognize it. I walk over towards the bathroom and stand in the doorway.
It's Annie.
Goddammit.
"Sam!" Annie says, with way too much enthusiasm to be authentic.
"Hey," I pull up the corners of my mouth up enough for it to be considered a smile and I give a halfhearted wave.
Annie's helping Beth with her hair. It looks like they took her hair and had it in several little braids and now they're undoing them all, leaving Beth's hair looking curly and really, really pretty.
"Need anything?" I ask patiently
Beth thinks for a moment, "Annie, I think I'm good now, if you wanna head out there, Sam can take it from here." she gives Annie a friendly smile and Annie tries not to look too hurt as she leaves the room.
Once the door shuts Beth lets out a sigh, "She is too chatty. I don't wanna sound mean or anything, she was helpful, but her talking was a bit overwhelming."
Tell me about it.
I just shake my head, "You're fine. It's your day anyway, who cares what anyone else thinks." I try and be positive for her.
She nods quickly, "I guess you're right. So how do I look?" she gestures to herself.
We couldn't find an actual wedding gown for her to wear, it was too inconvenient. But on a run a couple weeks ago, Sasha did find this dress. It's a pale pink spaghetti strap dress that floats around her knees with an elastic band at her waist, giving the dress shape. She's pairing it with her cowboy boots and she's pulled a few stands of the curly hair back with a white ribbon. She looks absolutely gorgeous, it's a shame Maggie or their father couldn't be here to see this.
"You look beautiful." I tell Beth honestly
She smiles, but there's tears in her eyes, I bet she wishes her family was here too, "Thank you."
"Don't cry just yet," I tease, "You aren't even married."
Beth laughs and she gives me a hug. It's a little unexpected, so I'm stiff at first, trying to figure out what's going on. But then I loosen up, and hug her back. I'm here for her, I remind myself.
On the sink behind Beth are two bouquets of wildflowers. Beth hands me the smaller one. She looks like she's trying to decide something for a moment, then she speaks, "Sam, can I tell you something?"
Um what? "Sure, anything." I give her a reassuring smile.
She bites her lip and takes a deep breath, "There's actually a pretty big reason why Daryl and I decided to get married. I mean, if this hadn't come up, I'm sure we would have gotten married eventually. But," she pauses for a moment and finally looks up at me, "I'm pregnant."
Wait, what?! "How long have you known?" I try to keep as calm as possible, my support never wavering.
"I think I took an actual test a couple days after we got here? But I've definitely suspected it for a while." Beth shakes her head, "Don't tell anyone else just yet. I just thought you should know, because we're friends and all. Besides Daryl, you're the only one that knows."
In a way, I'm very touched that I'm the second person to know about this. But I'm also very concerned and worried, for her sake.
"How far along are you?" the dress is loose on her body, but lately I have noticed her looking a bit bigger than usual, or maybe I'm misremembering things.
"3 and a half months or so, maybe 4? I'm not sure, but I can certainly feel it." she grimaces
I think back to all the things we've been through in the past three or four months. Then I think about how Daryl began to sacrifice his meals, so Beth would have food. All the times he'd make sure she stayed safe. It all makes sense now. But a secret like this... it just can't stay this way.
"You can't hide it from everyone forever, you'll be showing before too long." I warn her.
She nods, "I know. It's just... I'm nervous that's all." her jaw tightens and her eyes look scared. Her anxiousness is understandable. I mean the last person in our group to get pregnant was Lori, and everyone knows how that went.
I put on a brave smile for Beth and rest my hands on her shoulders, "Don't be. You're in great care here. It's a stable environment, there's doctors, everything will be fine. And I know you'll be a great mother."
I'm not lying there, she practically raised Judith when she was an infant. There are doctors. There is absolutely no reason why her pregnancy shouldn't go just fine.
Just then, I hear the other door open and I lean through the doorway to see who it is.
"Hey, is she ready?" Michonne asks, Judith stands obediently beside her, basket clasped tightly with both little hands, cheeks rosy with childish cheer.
"Yeah, I'm ready." Beth calls past me.
"I'll let them know." Michonne promises, "I'll just leave this cutie pie in your care."
Beth and I walk out of the bathroom and Judith runs over to me and grabs my hand.
"Beth looks really pretty." Judith tries to whisper, only she hasn't quite mastered that technique yet.
"Aw, thank you Judy. You look very pretty yourself." Beth blushes slightly.
Judith smiles and looks at the ground, antsy on her feet.
"You know what to do, right?" I ask Judith as we head out the door
"Mhm." She nods firmly
We stand in the foyer of the church waiting, and then the music starts and I release Judith's hand and tell her to start walking down the aisle. She does and starts throwing the flowers out of the basket, they scatter all over the floor and she giggles as she throws the flower petals everywhere. I crack a smile and I can hear Beth behind me quietly laughing.
I make my way down the aisle next, and I can feel the eyes of everyone on me. I'm suddenly very glad this isn't my wedding, because this moment of attention is enough to make my face hot.
Ahead of me on the right are Daryl and Rick, Daryl looks as anxious as I've ever seen him. But then again, I've also never seem him in a button up shirt with the sleeves still attached.
I get to my spot and I stand still, waiting. Then the person at the church organ starts playing the traditional bride music and everyone stands, all eyes going to Beth, who's only got eyes on Daryl. You can see the anxiety melt from his expression, and his eyes are gentle as they look at her.
If I were being completely honest, I would've never imagined Daryl getting married. Not that I thought he couldn't, or he would never love another human being. It's just, Daryl doesn't seem like the settling down type. Although, Beth's recent confession makes this whole wedding make a whole lot more sense than it previously did. I also know he did this for Beth, she's the kind of girl who probably always dreamed of her wedding day. And he wanted to give her what he could. To me, I find that whole idea very sweet.
The ceremony begins and Father Gabriel says a few words before they get to the vows. I try to pay attention as best I can, but I have a hard time focusing and before I know it, Beth and Daryl are kissing and everyone is clapping. I join in like I haven't missed a beat. The newly married couple quickly makes their way back up the aisle and soon everyone piles out behind them. We're all headed to the pavilion for the reception. I make sure I stay with Judith so she doesn't get lost among the crowd.
Carl intercepts me on the way there and immediately grabs my hand, "Hey there, bookworm."
I know Carl would never admit out loud, especially to me, but I don't think he was looking forward to Beth's wedding. He's told me before that he had a crush on her before he met me. And even though he's greatly assured me he's moved on, I doubt he was super pleased to see her get married. Just like in the old world, you wouldn't be happy if your favorite celebrity got married.
I look at him, searching for any sign of emotion, but he's blocked it out, "How are you?"
"Fine." Liar. If he were fine, he wouldn't have to try so hard to keep out all emotion.
If Judith wasn't here I'd say something, "Good." I smile at him, even though my eyes beg him to tell me what's wrong.
We walk to the pavilion, and Olivia and the girls are serving lunch, which is venison, beans, fresh greens, and a slice of bread. We get out our plates and sit down at our usual table. Judith eats her bread first, clearly marveled by it. They must have made it this morning, bread is one of those things we really lost when the world went to hell.
"Judy, do you want mine?" I offer, after she put down her own piece.
She looks at it with wide eyes, "Don't you want it?"
Yes, but I've had bread before, "No, you can have it if you want it."
She reluctantly takes it, "Thank you Sam."
I smile at her, "No problem, kiddo."
She turns to Rick who's on her other side, "Daddy, look what Sam gave me!"
Rick smiles at his little girl, "That was very nice of her." He looks past Judith and gives me a thankful look, but beyond that I see something else. Wariness.
After a while Rick stands up, "Let's have a toast, to the bride and groom." We all lift our glasses of water because no booze could be found I guess. Rick makes a speech about Beth and Daryl and he calls Daryl his brother and it's all very sweet.
Then it hits me, I remember that I'm gonna have to make a speech, being the maid of honor and all. Great.
Rick says something about the first time he met Daryl, he put a gun to his head. Daryl smirks and Beth leans her head against Daryl's arm. A couple others laugh and I can feel Carl looking at me.
He gives my hand a squeeze, "You ok?"
I nod.
Rick sits down and I stand up, "I guess I should make a speech too, huh?" I start out nervously.
This gets a couple laughs and I try to tell myself it's ok, "I'm so glad that I could be here today to celebrate the marriage of these two, and I'm extremely honored to speak and to be close enough to Beth to be considered her maid of honor." I take deep breath, so far, so good, "I met Beth and Daryl about the same time, we all used to live at a prison a couple years ago. And while at our time at the prison, I didn't know either of them particularly well, Daryl was just the man who told me that my father had died, and Beth was the closest girl to my age. But over time, they became my family, and I'm so glad that they could finally be together and get married in such a safe, stable place. I wish them well, and hope they have a long, happy marriage. To Beth and Daryl." everyone takes a drink to the toast, and my knees all but buckle in relief as I quickly sit back down.
Voices pick up again and create a dull, indiscernible, roar to my ears. My shoulders visibly relax as I take in a deep breath.
Carl puts his arm around my waist, he leans over next to me so that his mouth is almost against my ear, "You did great."
I turn towards him, "Thanks,"
He moves his head some, and I lean against his shoulder. We stay that way for a while and his presence is comforting.
Beth and Daryl stand up after a while and go to the table that holds the cake, they cut the cake together and then do the thing where they feed each other the bite of cake. Everyone claps, laughs, or does both and then everyone is served cake.
As we finish desserts, someone pulls out a guitar, and someone else pulls out a fiddle. I think there's another guitar or something of the sort, and soon they've got music playing. Beth forces Daryl to get up and even though he's not too keen on it, and his feet don't know exactly how to move, they make it through, and then the floor is opened up to everyone.
I'm leaning against Carl, halfway to dozing when I start to feel him shift. Almost like he's about to stand up.
Carl, no.
I swear.
Don't you dare get up.
I'm not going to move, no matter what. I will remain stagnant and there's nothing you can do about it.
Carl.
He stands up.
I will break up with you.
I'm not afraid.
Ok, maybe that was a bit overkill.
But I'm not getting up!
"Come on," he extends his hand towards me.
Son of a bitch.
I shake my head, "I don't know how to dance."
He snorts, "Neither do I, but I figure we should at least once, ya know?"
One could say the same thing about sex, but I won't get into that.
I glare halfheartedly at him; he grabs my hand, and pulls me up. No. Stop it. Unhand me!
A slow song begins to play.
Goddammit! As if this couldn't get any worse.
This is too cliché.
I might puke.
He pulls me to the dance floor and sets his hands on my hips, I put my arms around his neck and we kinda step back and forth, imitating what we've seen before no doubt.
"This is so dumb," I shake my head at him, but a slight smirk forms on my face, "this is the apocalypse. We should be saving our energy for other things besides dancing." as I continue to sway back and forth anyways.
Carl rolls his eyes, "But in a way, I think we should be relishing this moment. This time where we don't have to think about killing other things and we can just... dance."