A/N: My apologies for the lateness of this post. One of my betas and I discovered a discrepancy in this chapter that had to be fixed before I could post, and then FFN had some technical difficulties. So, without further ado, here's Chapter 35.
Thanks as always to my betas: SSHG316, SavageWoman and Irritable Grizzzly. Thanks Nicnicd who agreed to beta these final chapters in SavageWoman's absence. I have loved having her on board for the culmination of this story I love so much. The final chapter is next and it has been hard to keep my emotions in check. Looking forward to closing these chapters in the lives of Copward and his Bella. But keep me on alert for the FGB future outtakes.
WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic depiction of a physical and an attempted sexual assault, if scenes like this are a trigger for you, please skip the second scene, or chapter break altogether. In no way, form or fashion, does this story seek to sensationalize, glorify, or romanticize sexual assault.
Trust, Loyalty, Commitment
"It is only from the belief of the goodness and wisdom of a supreme being, that our calamities can be borne in the manner which becomes a man."—Henry Mackenzie
I Would Like To Call It Beauty
by Corinne Bailey Rae
You slept a sigh like the angels speak,
And we danced into tomorrow on bleeding feet
And I had thought that I would die here
But you pushed me on,
You pushed me on,
You pushed me on
Chapter 35 - I Would Like To Call It Beauty
Edward returned to the precinct and immediately got on the phone with his contacts in Indiana, as well as a cop in the Chicagoland area who owed him a favor. He needed confirmation regarding Jane and her whereabouts. Certain it was her call he'd missed while he was on the phone with his colleagues, when his mother's number flashed on his cell phone he picked up immediately.
"Edward, I'm sorry it took so long. I had to loosen Caius up with a little small talk, but I did get the information. Jane's fiancé is a Demetri Christos."
For the second time in one night, Edward had received some devastating information from his mother, but this time it chilled him to the bone.
"Thanks, Mom. I can't explain much right now, but Demetri has been working at the Center with Bella, and I've got to find him and Jane. I'll call you again soon."
Immediately, he got in touch with Seth and Alvin, and brought them up to speed. Then he left the precinct and on his way to his car, he discovered he'd previously missed a call from Bella. His knees gave way as he listened to her message, his head spinning in a panicked jumble.
Remembering a technique that Dr. Levy had taught him, he was able to calm himself enough to dial Bella's number. She didn't pick up, so he hopped in his car and sped through downtown Tallahassee, his cruiser's lights swirling and sirens blaring. Frantic, he punched in Rosalie's number, hoping that she kept the same hours he had.
"Rosalie, are you patrolling at City of Hope right now?"
"No, I had a dentist's appointment after work and I'm about to head home. Why?"
"Demetri is Jane Volturi's fiancé, and they're probably the real stalkers. Bella's gone back to the Center, and I'm betting one or both of them are there waiting for her. I'm on Monroe Street. How close are you?"
"I'm headed south on Capital Circle, just past Blairstone." He could hear her tires squealing, as she engaged her siren. "Heading back to Orange Avenue now." Hopefully, they would arrive around the same time if the traffic didn't hinder her.
Edward hung up and pushed his gas pedal to the floor. Thankfully, commuter traffic was cooperating and he got through downtown traffic fairly quickly. Another five minutes and he'd be on South Monroe, but he didn't feel like he could go fast enough. If anything happened to Bella...he pushed those thoughts away and concentrated on weaving through the traffic.
~888~
Bella pretended to play along with his obvious game, hoping that Edward had gotten her voicemail and was on his way. She laughed nervously. "Imagine my surprise when I got to class and it wasn't in my bag. You know that paper—"
He slowly moved toward her. "…is worth thirty percent of your grade. Yeah, I overheard you tell Officer Hale that nice little tidbit of information when she told you she was leaving early to go to her dental appointment."
Bella cringed and backed up a few steps, swallowing hard, but her mouth was so dry and it was almost painful. "Demetri, why are you doing this?"
"Surely you know your boyfriend killed our Most Supreme High Bishop and my future father-in-law, Aro Volturi. Jane was in medical school and almost done with her internship when your Edward broke her heart for the second time."
"What do you mean 'for the second time?'" She glanced around, looking to see if there was something nearby that she could use as a weapon, but the volunteers had done a very thorough job putting everything away.
"I mean, I don't really care about him refusing to be matched with my beloved, because had he remained a believer, then I wouldn't be with my Jane." He cracked his knuckles, the sound reverberating eerily.
"They were children, and that practice was ridiculous anyway." Bella spoke with as much courage as she could while shaking uncontrollably. "Give me my paper, and we can forget all about this."
"Do you think I'm stupid?" He rolled his head like he was preparing for a brawl, and Bella backed up another step. She looked quickly to her office door, trying to gauge the distance.
"No, not at all. I just don't want you getting in over your head all because of some stupid vendetta your fiancée has against Edward."
He ignored her, choosing to change the subject. "You know, we never got to know each other well enough when we were in grade school," he said, licking his lips and advancing on her.
Bella tried to back away, but her legs wouldn't comply. Still, through her fear, the anger came through. "Edward's patrolling the area right now. He'll be here any minute," she spat. It sickened her to realize that he'd used their past relationship to insinuate himself there only to target her, Edward, and his family. They'd been like sitting ducks.
He laughed the cackling and derisive laugh of a madman. "He isn't around here, and you know it. The Captain's not letting him come back until he closes the case against the drug dealer. You know, you and Officer Hale trusted the volunteers around here too much. Always leaving the door open when you had your little meetings. "
Bella could only keep him talking, hoping that Edward was close-by. "So you think killing me is going to avenge your fiancée? Where is she now? If Jane wanted this done, why didn't she face me, woman-to-woman?" She said the words forcefully, too proud to let Demetri see just how afraid she was. As he continued to advance on her, she prayed her nerves wouldn't make her forget the self-defense moves her dad had taught her.
"My Jane still has to take the oath to do no harm, but I don't. Besides, I've never had a chance to repay you for ignoring me way back when. For a preacher's daughter, you weren't very... friendly." His lecherous gaze undressed her with his eyes, as he licked his lips again and inched closer.
Finally getting some of her wits about her, she nonchalantly stuck her hand in her pocket and felt for the keypad of her phone, hoping her fingers would find those three little numbers and the "send" button.
"Aw come on, Bella," he crooned. "You're going to like this…" He touched his crotch in a lewd gesture. "I know you and Edward haven't done the deed. You were wearing your promise ring on Monday, and looks like he's replaced it with an engagement ring. I'm sure Rev. Swan has brainwashed him like he did us years ago. It's great to wait. What utter bullshit." He inched forward a few more steps.
After all this time of saving herself for the man she loved, she was going to lose her virginity like this?
Her virginity had been the gift she'd wanted to give to her husband ever since she understood what sex was all about. For the last several months, she'd fallen deeper and deeper in love with someone who hadn't thought himself worthy of her at first, but gradually became the man she knew he could be. It couldn't end like this.
Staring across the room into the lust-filled eyes of the deranged man who was once her childhood friend, Bella knew that she had every reason to be terrified. However, she couldn't let her terror consume her, she needed to fight
Keeping her courage up, she hit send, and then did what she always did when things looked grim: she prayed. For survival, for herself and for the man she loved, because no matter how this turned out, he'd be devastated that he hadn't been there to protect her. She also prayed for the strength they would both need to get through this. She needed to fight because this demented rapist was mistaken if he believed he was going to take what he'd come for. She wasn't going to give him that chance.
"You don't want to do this, Demetri," she said, trying to sound as if she were appealing to his conscience, but actually stalling for time and giving the 9-1-1 operator as much information as she could. "My family and City of Hope Community have only tried to do right by you. If Bishop Volturi were alive—"
"Don't you fucking say his name!" he screamed. "Your boyfriend shot him in the head like he was a common criminal. I almost had to commit Jane, she was so sick over her father's death."
Bella tried another tactic. "You'll only be charged with stalking if you stop now. Why add rape to that? Your life will be a living hell in prison." He crept a little closer, rolling his neck again. That nervous tic had never creeped her out until now.
"I might be afraid of that," he leered, "if I planned on leaving you alive to identify me." He dropped the paper and USB to the floor, reached into his back pocket, and withdrew a switchblade.
Bella's skin crawled and she went to step back, only to come up against one of the computer desks. "The Center is a safe-haven for the children in this community. Don't leave my dead body here for them to find. Let's go where there's a bed and we can –"
"Shut up! I don't need your suggestions. We're going to do this right here, right now." He got closer, until he was standing just a few feet away, and made a big show of unfolding the knife, the sharp steel edge glinting like it was mocking her.
"Demetri Christos!" Bella screamed for the benefit of the dispatcher. The appearance of the knife amped up her fear, and raised the stakes considerably, but she tried to keep a clear head so she could make a move at the right moment. Attempting to appeal to his humanity, provided that there was any left in him, she said, "Don't you have any pride in yourself or the Center? You grew up here. Please don't make it into a crime scene again."
"You know what? I'm really tired of hearing you bitching and moaning. I thought you were something else when we were younger, but now I see that you're just a nagging bitch. From now on, I don't want to hear anything from you but moans of pleasure. Jane wants you dead, but there's no sense in wasting a perfectly good virgin. I'll be doing you a great service allowing you to experience what it's like to be with a real man before you go to your grave."
He lunged, and she kicked him in the stomach. As he reeled backward, she darted away toward her office, running in and trying to close the door, but he was too fast. She strained as hard as she could, but he gave the door one hard push and she fell back against the chairs in front of her desk, toppling to the floor amidst a tangle of metal and leather. As she attempted to regain her balance and kick him again, Demetri pounced, grabbing her by her hair and pulling her to her feet with one hand, while waving the knife in her face with the other.
"That was stupid," he said. "We can do this easy way or the hard way. Which is it gonna be, Bella?"
Heart in her throat, Bella was barely able to whisper. "Okay, okay… I won't run again."
He tightened his hold on her hair, and Bella cried out and grabbed at his hand. He freed his hold on her hair shifted the knife to his left hand, and slapped her hard across the face. Her left eye and jaw exploded with pain. She desperately tried to think of some way she could injure him, but knew any move she made would only hasten her death. Besides, she could hardly see, and she couldn't seem to conjure the energy to fight anymore. Demetri hoisted her over to the leather sofa and dropped her roughly onto it.
"This is about as good as any bed," he spat. His breath was so stale, it made her nauseated. He used the knife to tear her blouse open, sending buttons careening around the room as he clawed at her, pulling the front of her bra away from her skin and cutting it, exposing her breasts. "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about." He reached down to palm them roughly, and Bella knew she had to do something to slow down the situation, or she would be raped and dead before anyone could show up.
Although she was shivering and crying uncontrollably, she managed to smile weakly at him and said as coyly as she could, "You know, Demetri, I've never done this before, and even if I'm going to die afterwards, I really want my first time to be special."
In his lust-driven haze, Demetri grinned. "You're shitting me, right?"
"N-No," Bella stammered, "I'm not. You'll see in a few minutes, but I just need you to slow down and make this special for both of us. Come on… it won't be any fun for you if I'm not really… ready down there."
"Yeah, right. What was I thinking? There's something about fucking a virgin that makes a man anxious."
"Let's start by taking off some of your clothes." She tugged at his shirt, willing her hands not to shake. Though she felt as if she were about to throw up, she had to make it seem real.
He got up, keeping his knee between her legs, and quickly pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor before leaning back down.
Thinking fast, she made another request. "Take off your jeans," she said, smiling again. "They're so rough against my skin."
He shucked off his jeans in a matter of seconds and stood towering over her in his underwear. Bella sat up involuntarily, and he pushed her back down onto the sofa.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I w-was just going to take off m-my jacket and skirt…"
He relaxed and allowed her to slide off the sofa. "I could d-dance for you, if you want me t-to," she said, while pulling her jacket together to cover her exposed chest. Then she began moving her hips, hoping it appeared sexy.
"If I wanted to see dancing, I would have gone to a strip club." He waved the knife in a beckoning motion. "Get your ass back over here."
She walked back over on shaky legs.
"Don't try anything funny," he said.
Bella nodded and tried to staunch the flow of tears as he pulled her to him and slobbered on her neck. She shuddered in revulsion.
"I've got to get you wet so we can do this." He forced her skirt down over her hips, ruining the zipper and scratching her thigh. Her cell phone fell out of her pocket and clattered to the floor, and she prayed he wouldn't see it was on.
Demetri pushed her back onto the sofa and pinned her to it, and Bella tried not to think about what he was doing to her as she plotted her next move. Fresh tears came as she thought about how tender and loving Edward had always been, and cursed herself for not having followed his directive. It should be him, but now this animal was taking her virginity.
"Oh God, please help me," she prayed silently. "Give me the strength to stop this from happening."
Suddenly, she remembered a story her parents had told her about her aunt's friend in Mississippi. A man robbed her and was attempting to rape her. She was able to subdue him by twisting his scrotum as hard as she could until the police arrived. Either that would work, or she'd be dead. Of course, if she did nothing, she'd be raped and dead, so she had nothing to lose.
"I think I'm ready now," she announced. "Take off those b-boxers." She swallowed hard.
Demetri hurriedly slid back on the couch to hover over her. His penis was stiff, and liquid was dripping onto her lap. He nudged her thighs open roughly with his knee while keeping the knife at her throat, and prepared to enter her.
"Let me touch it," Bella said quickly. "I've never actually touched one before, and I want to know what it feels like." That wasn't true, but since he knew she was a virgin, he might think she was totally innocent.
Demetri laughed. "Ooh, preacher's daughter is a little freak."
He grinned down at her, displaying his vile large eyeteeth that looked almost like vampire fangs. Bella reached between his legs as if she were going to stroke him, but instead went straight for his balls. She grabbed him and twisted hard, dug her nails as deeply as she could into his ball sac, and held on for dear life.
Demetri immediately dropped the knife and screamed like a girl. "Aaaaarghhhh!" He hit her with his fists, but with each strike, Bella twisted tighter and tighter. Demetri continued to scream and claw at her hands, trying to get her to release her hold, but Bella had him in a death grip. She heard sirens, and soon Demetri's screams intermingled with them, until they were one and the same. She continued to hold on and didn't allow his fists to deter her. He kept hitting her until one of her eyes was swollen shut and her lips were busted and bleeding, but she refused to let go. Then he put his hands around her neck and squeezed, and she was mercifully claimed by the darkness.
~888~
Edward was almost there when he heard Dispatch asking for responders at the City of Hope Community Center.
"Bella!" he screamed and tore into the parking lot practically on two wheels, almost hitting Bella's car. He jumped out of his cruiser and ran toward the building, praying that he wasn't too late.
It was dark, but he heard what sounded like muffled screaming coming from Bella's office. He kicked in her office door and entered with his gun drawn and his flashlight on his shoulder. Bella was on the couch, badly beaten. Demetri Christos was on the floor naked and curled into the fetal position, clutching his testicles.
"Fucking bitch wouldn't let go!" he whined.
That's my girl, Edward thought.
Demetri was incapacitated, but Edward wouldn't take any chances with him trying to escape. He jerked one of Demetri's hands from his bleeding junk and cuffed him to a chrome bar on the leather bench sofa, then hastily secured the scene. Finding no one lurking elsewhere in the building, he returned to the office.
"Where's Jane?" Edward hissed, but Demetri refused to answer.
Knowing how modest Bella was and not wanting his colleagues to see her exposed , he took off his uniform shirt and tenderly dressed her in it, taking care to fasten each button, despite his shaking fingers, and then checked her vitals. Satisfied that she was stable for the time being, he tried to wake her. Holding her gingerly, he struggled to contain his sobs. "Bella... baby, I'm here. Bella?" She moaned, but didn't fully regain consciousness. He heard a lone siren approaching and hoped it was Rosalie as he laid Bella gently back down.
He got on his walkie-talkie and he spoke into it, requesting an ambulance and backup status. "10-37 Dispatch, Officer Cullen 10-18 requesting 10-43 and 10-65. Can you copy? Also confirming ETA of 10-24?
"10-4. Copy that," The Dispatcher immediately responded.
Rosalie ran into the room, her eyes bulging widely as she took in the scene, and lost her professional veneer. "Goddammit!" she said, and took a running start and kicked a whimpering Demetri square on his chin. He screamed as his head snapped back violently.
Edward stood up and grabbed Rosalie before she could land another blow. She seemed to surprise herself as she began to cry, and wiped the tears away angrily. "I believe that's my job," Edward said through clenched teeth. "Stay with Bella."
Rosalie nodded, silently giving him the approval to take care of a little business before their colleagues arrived. She then rushed to Bella's side, kneeling on the floor beside her, checking her vitals and smoothing her hair back. She spoke softly to her friend. "Hang in there, honey. Help is on the way."
Edward remembered that Rosalie knew all-too-well the terror Bella had experienced. This made him even more enraged, and he grabbed Demetri by his cuffed hand and dragged him into the Common Room.
Now he was ready to kill the motherfucker with his bare hands. He cuffed Demetri's hands together, even though he was still moaning like he was dying. Edward was happy to heap more pain onto him, and he allowed the rage to take over as he let his fists fly. Demetri fell to the floor, but Edward just kept on hitting him. When he grew tired of punching, Edward kicked and stomped until he heard the siren of the Leon County EMS bus stop abruptly outside, and someone dragged him away.
"Edward! Edward! Stop! The ambulance is here," Rosalie said as she pulled him away. "I'll take it from here."
"Bella... " The rage lifted, but the anguish on Edward's face was excruciating.
"The EMTs are on their way in," Rosalie said softly, then roughly grabbed Demetri and went into her arrest litany. "You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say may be used against you in a court of law..."
Edward spat on Demetri, then turned and stumbled into the office where Bella was, just as the EMTs came in holding a stretcher. Seth rushed in behind them, and Edward waved him into the Common room to assist Rosalie as he gave the EMTs all the info he could provide.
They hooked Bella up to an IV and oxygen, loaded her up, and rolled her out. Edward followed closely, holding her hand. One of the EMTs tried to deter him and said, "We'll take it from here, Officer—" but Edward gave him a look that shut him up fast.
Seth and Rosalie were hauling a re-clothed and battered Demetri out, and seeing the tension, Rosalie put herself between Edward and the Paramedic. "Officer Cullen is her fiancé," she explained.
The EMT looked at the police shirt Bella was wearing with "Cullen" embroidered above the pocket, and back at Edward. "You can ride with her, then," he agreed.
Edward tossed Rosalie the keys to his cruiser. "Can you get my car back to the precinct?"
She caught them effortlessly. "Sure thing, Edward."
"Hey Cullen, Shoals and I picked up Jane Volturi on our way in," Seth said, almost as an afterthought. "She was sitting in her car on Texas Street, presumably waiting for this piece of shit."
Edward nodded and kept going. When they were in the ambulance and headed for the hospital, he called Carlisle and asked him to meet them at Tallahassee Memorial's Emergency Room. He shared as much as he knew about Bella's condition, and Carlisle assured him he would be there immediately.
Bella briefly regained consciousness, but all she could do was whisper his name.
"Edward…"
"I'm here, baby, I'm here."
"Edward…"
"It's okay, Bella. You're going to be fine."
Then she was out again and his tears dropped onto Bella's hand as the EMT worked silently on the other side of the gurney. He continued to kneel next to her, hoping and praying that she would be all right.
They rolled into the ER and unloaded her immediately. Edward followed, clad only in a white undershirt and his uniform pants. The EMT relayed Bella's current condition to the nurses, the ER Doc, and Carlisle, who was already there and ready to get to work.
As he followed them to the Trauma Bays, Edward felt a stab of pain in his heart as the EMT rattled off Bella's ailments to the medical professionals.
"Physical and probable sexual assault. Trauma to the throat. Blunt force trauma to her head and upper torso. BP eighty over fifty, possible internal bleeding."
"Uncle Carlisle," Edward pleaded, "please do everything you can."
Carlisle was calm as he explained, "You know I will, Edward, but right now you need to let us do our jobs. Why don't you go to the waiting room adjacent to Trauma Bay 1, okay?"
"When she wakes up, she'll need me."
"I know, son, and I promise you'll be there when that happens, but right now she needs medical care without interference."
He nodded. "You're right. Go help her."
Carlisle hurried to catch up with the team, with Edward close on his heels. When they arrived, Carlisle showed Edward the waiting room, but instead he stood at the Trauma door, peering in. He couldn't let Bella out of his sight. They discussed and identified her wounds and added meds to her IV. Then one of the nurses pulled a curtain around them when she noticed Edward watching. He was about to push the door open when he heard someone calling his name.
He looked back to see Charlie and Renee hurrying toward him.
"Edward," Renee said quickly, tears streaming down her face, "where's my baby?"
"They're working on her right now."
"What happened?" Charlie said in a controlled voice, obviously trying to rein in his anger. "Rosalie wouldn't give us any details over the phone."
"She was assaulted by Demetri Christos at the Center. I saw her go into her class, but she went back to retrieve a missing assignment. He must have found her there. She was beaten up pretty badly and…" Edwards's voice broke, and he closed his eyes against the ugly words he had to utter to her parents. "Um, there were signs of…uh…a sexual assault." A sob escaped him, and then he just lost it. Renee was crying too as she pulled Edward close and tried to comfort him. Charlie clapped him on the back, clenching his jaw and attempting to steel himself not to cry, but it was useless.
"Over here," Charlie said. He alone had the presence of mind to lead Renee and a distraught Edward into the waiting room.
Edward fell onto the sofa and held his head in hands, pulling at the roots of his hair, his shoulders shaking with sobs. Renee and Charlie took turns comforting him.
"I should never have left City of Hope…she would have been fine…I should have been there..."
"Edward, there's no way any of us could have known that Demetri would do something like this," Charlie said. "Don't beat yourself up …We've just got to put this firmly in the hands of the Lord. Bella is strong. She'll come through. We'll all get through this…" It sounded like Charlie was trying to convince himself as well.
Edward was inconsolable. He sobbed until there were no more tears and his throat was raw. Renee and Charlie tried to get him to drink something, but he wouldn't respond.
Carlisle came in to give them the status on Bella. His eyes were shadowed with concern and exhaustion as he sat heavily in the chair across from them, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Her assailant beat her pretty savagely. Bella is suffering from a severe concussion and a small head bleed from a ruptured artery in her temporal lobe. One of her eyes is swollen shut, but there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage. She's in a medically-induced coma right now, because her body is trying to heal itself. Once it does, she'll wake up. There was bruising, blood, and semen in her vaginal area, which leads us to believe she might have been sexually assaulted; however, we'll do a more thorough exam and a rape kit as soon as she's stable enough. A couple of fingers on her right hand are badly sprained. There was skin and blood underneath her fingernails, meaning she fought bravely, but hopefully not to her detriment. We'll keep you posted as she responds to treatment."
"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," Renee said.
"Yes, thanks, Doc," Charlie agreed.
Carlisle approached Edward where he sat on the sofa between Renee and Charlie. He noted that his nephew seemed to be dazed and was unresponsive to his surroundings. "Edward? Edward?" Quickly, he took Edward's wrist, checked his pulse, and then touched his forehead and cheek. Checking his pupils with an ophthalmoscope, he found Edward's eyes were fixed and dilated, and he needed treatment right away. "He's in shock," Carlisle muttered and stalked over to the wall, hitting a convenient nurse call button. When a nurse answered, he rattled off the items he needed.
After Edward was sedated and had fallen asleep with his head on Renee's lap, Carlisle addressed Charlie and Renee again.
"I'll send an orderly to collect him so we can get some O2 and fluids into his system. Most likely, he blames himself, and the gravity of it all was just too overwhelming. My nephew loves Bella more than anything in this life, or the next."
"We know," Charlie said simply. Unable to speak, Renee nodded vigorously.
~888~
Edward emerged from his induced sleep, slowly and listlessly. His first thought was, "Where the hell am I?" Then he swallowed and felt a soreness in his throat, and it all came rushing back to him. His Bella had been assaulted by Demetri fucking Christos, and he was lying helpless in a fucking hospital bed. He wanted to scream, but his vocal cords betrayed him and the noise he made was unintelligible. Sitting up abruptly, he pulled the IV tubing out of his arm.
Then Emmett and Rosalie were swimming before him, trying to get him to calm down and lie back down, but he fought them off, still struggling to get up.
"Edward...Edward you need to calm down, now," Rosalie pleaded.
"Yeah, man," Emmett said. "Get some rest before you stroke out or something...Come on..."
"Bell..." He began and then cleared his throat.
"Bella is stable, and Carlisle and his colleagues have done everything they can for her. When her body can take it, she'll wake up. If you want to see her, you've got to calm down. They're not going to let you in there while you're in this state."
Edward looked at Rosalie and realized her eyes were puffy and her makeup was smeared. He'd never seen her like that before.
Emmett grabbed the pitcher on the side table, poured a cup of cold water, and then handed it to Edward. "Here, buddy. Drink this. You look thirsty."
Realizing Emmett was right, he took the cup, but his heart wouldn't stop beating double-time, and his adrenaline was spiking. He needed to see Bella. Draining the cup quickly, he dropped it and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Emmett grabbed his shoulders and looked him square in the eye.
"Don't make me have to deck you or get one the nurses in here to knock your ass out again," he said sternly.
Edward wanted to fight, but all of a sudden he was weak again and he just lay back on the bed. "I should have killed him," Edward said. "I should have..." His voice grew hoarse again, and all he could think of was Bella trying to fight Demetri off. How unfair it was for her to go all these years promising to keep herself pure for her wedding night, only to have that gift savagely stolen from her. Even worse, it had been taken by someone who'd been out for revenge against him. God, how could she possibly trust that he would keep her safe ever again? He had failed the woman he loved in the worst possible way.
He curled up in a fetal position and then slipped back into darkness.
~888~
When Edward woke again, he was numb, and he heard Esme and Alice talking quietly in the corner. Despite the fact that he hadn't seen either of them in a month, he couldn't even say hello. Finally Alice looked over at him and registered that his eyes were open. She approached the bed cautiously, leaning down and brushing his hair away from his face.
"Hi, cuz," she said huskily. Her eyes were red-rimmed and watery. Esme was crying openly and was now standing next to Alice.
He blinked and swallowed the lump that had been residing in his throat for what seemed like hours. He didn't feel like talking, but he had to know about Bella. "Is she... okay?" he asked, having difficulty enunciating.
Esme smiled through her tears. "Carlisle says her vitals are good and her wounds are beginning to heal. She's still unconscious, but her brain activity is strong. He thinks it's just a matter of time."
Edward closed his eyes. He was sure that if he were able to, he'd be crying again.
"Can we get you anything?" Alice asked. "It's been more than twenty-four hours since you've eaten."
"Maybe water..."
Esme wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "How about I get you some cranberry juice from the nurse's station? The drip has kept you hydrated, but you really need something to give you a little energy. Will you drink some juice... for me?"
Edward didn't really want anything, but he also couldn't refuse his Aunt Esme. He nodded, and she smiled and left the room. Alice pulled a chair up close to him and sat down, picking up his hand. It wasn't until she touched him that he realized how sore and swollen his knuckles were. He would gladly have shattered all the bones in his hands if Rosalie hadn't stopped him when she did.
He could see Alice was struggling to keep herself together as she attempted to form a coherent sentence. "Edward... Bella is going to pull through this. I know she is. Don't you think she would want you to pull through, too?"
"I wasn't the one who was raped... and had the crap beat out of me... "
"But you're acting like you were. Bella's going to need you to help her become whole again. You can't help her heal if you're broken."
What Alice said rang true. What he'd learned from his bible studies was that he'd have to be a rock for Bella as she recovered, strengthening her so she could heal.
He was still wracked with pain when he thought about what she'd had to endure, but he knew Bella wouldn't take any of this lying down. She was a fighter, and she had always encouraged him when he was the weaker one, letting him know he was a man of worth, when his prior actions said otherwise.
Esme slipped back into the room with a can of cranberry juice and a cup of ice, and Edward sat up. He was wearing a hospital gown and felt the cool air hit his back as Esme poured some juice in the cup and handed it to him. Alice looked on with a watery smile. He noticed then she was sporting a nice little baby bump, and smiled at his cousin and Aunt while he drank all the juice before holding the cup out for more. Esme poured him another, and this time he sipped slowly.
"I want to see Bella," he said simply. "Get Carlisle to call in a favor... whatever he has to do. I need to see her."
Esme set the juice can on the side table and caressed his cheek. "Your uncle will certainly make it happen. I don't think that will be a problem at all."
Edward looked around. "Where are my clothes?"
Alice retrieved a duffel bag from where they'd been sitting earlier. "Emmett and Rosalie brought you some things before they had to head home and go to work. They couldn't finesse getting any time off."
He drank what was left of the juice and grabbed the bag from Alice as she took the cup from him. "Thanks," he said, attempting to get up, but realized he was still tethered to the IV. "You think they'd be willing to take this out now so I can take a shower?"
Esme smiled and walked to the door. "If they're not so inclined, I'm sure they will be once we've had a little chat."
~888~
After his shower, Alice made him drink a protein smoothie before she would let him leave the room. He sucked it down so fast, he got brain freeze. Charlie and Renee were in the ICU waiting room, and they each greeted him warmly.
"They've been letting us see her for a few minutes every hour. We've let her neurologist, Dr. Kruse, know that you'd be staying with her for as long as they'd let you," Renee said.
Charlie threw an arm around Edward's shoulder and walked him to the door. His face was contorted as if he might cry, but then he whispered to Edward, "It looks... bad, son. Much worse than what you might have seen when they brought her in, but Carlisle has had every specialist known to man looking in on her. He says she'll be fine when she heals."
"Thanks, Rev. Swan," Edward said hoarsely.
"Didn't I tell you to call me Charlie when the church folks aren't around?"
Edward couldn't help but smile. "Charlie."
Charlie squeezed his shoulder and let him go, and Edward pushed the swinging door open. He found a nurse at the station and asked after Bella.
"You must be the fiancé," she said. "Right this way."
The nurse escorted him to the room and pulled the curtain back to allow him entry. He was so thankful that Rev. Swan had given him a heads-up. His Bella looked nothing like herself. Her face was swollen almost beyond recognition, and her left eye was purple. It literally took his breath away to see her like that. His hands went to his knees, and his head swam like he was going to faint. The nurse touched him on his back.
"Breathe, Mr. Cullen. I know right now she doesn't look like the girl you asked to marry you, but she will again."
He shot her a glare, and she stepped back involuntarily. Edward knew she meant well, but he wanted her to shut the hell up.
"I-I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that the trauma she's experienced is something we see all the time. I know it's foreign to you..."
The nurse was wrong in her assumption. As a cop, he'd seen humanity in all its various levels of depravity; he just hadn't seen anything like this happen to someone he loved. Still, she didn't know any better and was only trying to help. Edward took a deep breath and stood erect. "Forgive me. I-It was just such a shock." He went over to the bed and took Bella's unbandaged hand. Leaning as close as he could, he whispered, "Please come back to me, baby. I love you so much, Bella. Come back, sweetheart."
As the nurse quietly left the room, he scooted a chair as close to the bed as he could and sat down, holding her hand and whispering how much he loved and needed her.
~888~
Dr. Kruse and Carlisle came by and sent Edward back out into the waiting area. He had wanted to ask Carlisle discreetly about the rape kit, but couldn't get an opportunity to speak to him alone. When he got back to the waiting room, Jasper, his mother, Emmett, Rosalie, the Halls, James, Maria, Mrs. Williams, Nana and Deacon Wilson had joined Renee, Esme, and Alice there.
His mother held him so tight, for so long, it made him a bit uncomfortable. "Mom," he protested, "I'm fine. Just... pray for Bella."
Elizabeth looked up into her son's eyes. "I know. It just frightened me how close we came to losing you and Bella. Poor crazy Jane Volturi told them everything. She was going to have her brainwashed fiancé kill Bella and then you… after you'd suffered sufficiently from Bella's death, of course."
Edward looked to Rosalie for corroboration. She nodded, and he felt like the room was closing in on him. Suddenly there were too many people around. "Excuse me," he said, and left, his friends and family staring helplessly after him.
He was halfway down the hall when he saw another familiar face. Ira Levy was talking to a nurse at the nurse's station and turned to see Edward. "Never mind, he's right here."
The doctor recognized the panic in Edward's face, and fell in step beside him. With a hand on his forearm, he steered Edward away and down an adjacent quiet hall, trying to encourage him with soothing words, but Edward couldn't concentrate. The doctor must have realized his impromptu therapy session wasn't doing any good, because he stopped talking and maneuvered Edward further down the hall.
They went through a set of double doors and Edward realized they were at the Chapel. Besides the two of them, there was only one other person, kneeling at the altar, praying with everything in him. His future father-in-law was doing what he did best, and Edward wanted nothing more than to be right next to him.
Dr. Levy finally said, "I thought you might want to... meditate, pray, whatever. That's what I would do, and it's much quieter here."
"This is good," Edward said. "I hadn't thought of coming here, but I would like... to pray."
Dr. Levy lightly squeezed his shoulder. "You take as much time as you need," he said. " I'll be in the waiting room when you come back."
Edward wasn't totally a fish-out-of-water, considering he'd actually set foot in a church just this year, but he did feel awkward praying alone. Perhaps if he went to the altar and bowed in supplication like Charlie was doing, God would hear him better. As Edward approached, Charlie looked up and, seeing it was Edward, didn't bother to wipe the tears away that were streaming down his face.
"May I pray with you, Charlie?" Edward asked.
"Of course, son," he said. "Of course."
Edward knelt in a similar fashion and listened as Charlie prayed aloud. He'd never heard a more fervent prayer. He reached out, took Charlie's hand, and echoed every word.
It had been a long time since Edward had prayed this earnestly to a God he'd been taught to fear as an impressionable young boy, but Charlie Swan made it sound like this God was their best friend and He wanted to heal Bella and make everything right again. Now he remembered… Rev. Swan had told him once that the feelings we should have for God should be reverence, not fear of some hellfire and brimstone, vengeful God that was going to smite us if we didn't do everything according to the letter of the law. With this in mind, he prayed for Bella this day in the Chapel at TMH like he'd never prayed before.
~888~
Edward wanted to feel bad about monopolizing all the visiting time with Bella, but he couldn't. He felt a little better when he learned that Renee had gone in to see her while he and Charlie had been in the chapel. Dr. Levy stayed a couple of hours, and Edward talked to him at length again before he left, promising to come back the next day.
There was a steady stream of family and friends in the waiting room, and quite possibly the whole City of Hope Church had cycled through. Edward couldn't remember all of them, but the Swans always introduced him as Bella's fiancé. That made him proud, but he'd much rather have his future bride wake up than have all her church members fawning over him.
Between his hourly visits with Bella, Edward had been hounding Carlisle about the rape kit, so much that he knew he sounded like a broken record, but it was eating away at him. Earlier, Carlisle had been in and out of the ER handling trauma cases, and assured Edward they would talk as soon as he was free. That opportunity came after he'd made his rounds on Bella later that afternoon.
Carlisle sat down with him and opened the chart. "I personally had the hospital staff take the blood tests, collect the requisite fluid specimens, swabs, and fingernail scrapings after she was stabilized. We also treated her with a tetanus shot and emergency contraception to be safe," he said as he continued to peruse her chart. "Dr. Wardlow, an OB/Gyn who happened to be on duty that night, performed the physical exam at my request. She indicates here that the results were inconclusive, pending processing of the specimens." He paused, reading. "She notes that there was bruising to her thighs and vaginal area, possible vaginal bleeding, but no intrauterine bruising or tearing was present. I'll make sure she expounds on that before the TPD comes to take Bella's statement when she's awake, and get the results to you as soon as they're processed."
"Thanks," Edward said. Since there was no tearing, did he dare hope that Demetri hadn't gotten the chance to violate her that way? Edward wasn't sure if he could even broach the subject, given his current state of mind. Instead, he chose to hold on to a modicum of hope she'd been spared that ultimate indignity.
Regardless, he knew that Bella would need counseling and emotional care, given the severity of the physical and mental trauma she had endured. He would make sure no expense was spared and he would remain firmly by her side as he helped her to heal.
It was the beginning of day three as he was holding Bella's hand and telling her about all the hoopla that was going on, when he could have sworn she squeezed his hand. He looked up into her face expectantly, but her eyes were still tightly closed, and he bowed his head over her hand, kissing it repeatedly.
"I love you so much, Bella. Wake up, sweetheart. I need you to come back to me so you can get better and we can plan this crazy wedding together."
"Excuse me...?"
Edward thought he was hearing things and kept babbling, "I need you, Bella...please, baby, wake up for me..." Again, he felt his hand being squeezed. "Bella?" He jerked his head up and saw her good eye was open, while the swollen one was cracked open as far as it would go.
"Oh, baby...you're awake!" The swelling had gone down minutely, so he figured he'd chance a soft kiss on her cheek, and then he grabbed the nurse call button and squeezed it.
"I don't plan on having... a crazy wedding," she said, and cleared her throat. The nasal cannula delivering oxygen was askew after he'd kissed her, and he straightened it back up.
"No, I didn't mean we'd have a crazy wedding. I meant the planning would be crazy."
"Good to know," she said, then coughed, and he almost panicked.
"Don't talk, baby. The nurse will be here in a minute, and I'll have her get Dr. Kruse and Carlisle, okay?"
The next thing Edward knew, Bella's room was filled with nurses and doctors. He didn't want to leave her, but he knew Renee, Charlie, and whoever else was in the waiting room, would want to know that she was awake. He fought his way back to her bedside and kissed her cheek again. "I'll be right back," he said, and went to leave, but Bella clamped her hand over his. "I promise. I just want to let your parents know you're awake." She released him, and he backed slowly away. Once he was in the hall, he turned and ran as quickly as he could, not caring that nurses and orderlies were telling him in loud whispers to slow down.
When he burst into the waiting room with a smile splitting his face, everyone just knew.
~888~
E/N: "10-37 (Operator on Duty), 10-18 (Urgent), 10-43 (Medical assist), 10-24 (Backup, Lights, Siren), 10-65 (Can you copy), 10-4, (Over and out, acknowledged)."
I WOULD LIKE TO CALL IT BEAUTY
by Corinne Bailey Rae
So young for death,
We walk in shoes too big
But you play it like a poet,
Like you always did.
And I lay face upturned on the palm of God,
Pushed on by the fingertips of dreams,
They haunted me,
Consoling me.
You can keep it all locked up in your leaden chest
Or you can lay mouth open on the water's edge
But all your angels and your God will stitch and wash you
Oh I would like to call, call it beauty,
Strained as love's become, it still amazes me
And I would like to call it beauty, ...