A/N: These ladies make TLC the absolute best it can be: SSHG316, SavageWoman and Irritable Grizzzly. Thanks also to Nicnicd who has been guest-beta'ing while SavageWoman has been on hiatus. I would probably look very foolish if it weren't for the expertise each of them brings to making my chapters more polished and error free. Any mistakes in this draft are my fault because I sometimes miss things when I'm incorporating their edits.
I apologize for the lateness of this update. I had the awesome opportunity to meet three wonderful women whom I've grown to know and love in the fandom: SavageWoman, Swimom7, and Javamomma0921. They are each awesome writers and you should definitely be reading them (their story titles are in the end note). We spent four glorious days in St. Simons Island, GA together last weekend.
"For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth."—Job 19:25
"Seeking to Forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance."—Richard Von Weizsaecker
Trust, Loyalty, Commitment
Chapter 36 - Redemption's Song
Edward was sitting where he'd been since Bella had regained consciousness that morning and they'd put her in a regular hospital room. He had a chair pulled flush to her bed and was holding her hand, his head bowed and resting next to her hip. Bella had wanted him to climb into the bed with her, but it was so narrow and she was still so swollen and bruised from the assault, he didn't want to take the chance of hurting her.
"I'm not going anywhere," he'd assured her. "I'll be right here every time the nurse wakes you up."
True to protocol, a nurse had been in every hour on the hour, checking to make sure she wouldn't lapse into unconsciousness again. Edward kept vigil at her bedside, checking her pulse and making sure she was breathing evenly.
All their friends and family had reluctantly gone home, but Renee assured Edward she and Charlie would be back later in the day to relieve him for a while. He didn't say anything at the time in order to avoid an argument, but he didn't want to be relieved. Bella was his life and as long as she was there, he would be there with her.
It had been twenty minutes since the last nurse check and finally Bella had fallen back asleep. He hated that they had to wake her up so often, but knew it was for her own good. She'd been sleeping more deeply this time, but after ten minutes of REM sleep, she began twitching and moaning. He realized quickly she was having a nightmare. Edward stood and leaned over next to her ear and shook her shoulder gently.
"Bella...Bella... you're safe, baby. I'm here," he murmured.
Her eyes opened, frantic at first, and then they calmed, locking onto him. "Edward..." she whispered, then squeezed his hand and closed her eyes briefly. It ripped his heart out to see the affect of Demetri's vicious attack on her. He felt so helpless but, at the same time, grateful she was alive and on the mend. Dr. Levy had talked him through all his feelings, but he still wanted to kill Demetri for violating her the way he had.
"Shh..." he soothed. "I won't let him hurt you again, awake or asleep. I'm so sorry I didn't get there sooner."
"I shouldn't have gone back alone. I should have called my dad when I couldn't get you. I'm sorry—"
"You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing. None of this is your fault."
"Let's put it behind us, then. I promise not to feel guilty if you won't."
Edward didn't know if he could agree to that, because he had missed her call and taken longer than anticipated to solve the case. Had his mother not shared the information she had about Demetri…He shuddered to think what might have happened. Of course, he wanted to believe he would have gone to the Center anyway when he got her message, but would he have gotten there as quickly? The protector in him said "yes."
"I'll try," he finally answered.
~888~
As it turned out, it was good Renee and Charlie had returned to the hospital. Captain Black and Rosalie came by for Bella's statement to complete the rape kit and to have Edward sign some additional documents involving the case. Renee stayed in Bella's room with Rosalie, while Edward and Charlie went with Captain Black to an empty waiting room.
"Officer Cullen, I thought I'd have you sign off on these reports now rather than wait for you to come back. As for the time off you'll need, you've built up some family leave time," Captain Black said conspiratorially. "I'll make sure it's approved."
"Thanks, Captain." Edward shook his hand profusely. "I would have taken vacation time or leave without pay if I had to."
"I'd do the same thing, but this makes it possible for you to still take a honeymoon." He winked at Edward and then turned to include Charlie. "We've retrieved enough evidence from the electronic devices of Demetri Christos and Jane Volturi to put them away for quite a while. The Volturi girl might have to be committed first, though, since she's teetering on the brink of insanity. Either way, neither of them will be able to hurt anyone again."
"That's good," Charlie said, as Edward sat down and began signing the papers on a side table. Charlie gestured to a couple of chairs, and Captain Black sat with him. "So, they just wanted revenge?"
"Yes, it seems that Jane was ticked at Officer Cullen for slighting her when they were teenagers, and for his part in taking her dad down. They planned to terrorize as many of his family members as they could, especially the women. Bella was the big prize before getting to their ultimate target."
"The Christos family attended my church for a while when they lived here. I wonder how they became involved with Greater Son."
"Demetri and his family apparently joined COGS in Wakulla County some time before they moved to Illinois. He met Jane there. They dated throughout high school, and then she later joined him in Illinois when she started college. They were engaged to be married, but postponed it when Aro was killed.
"He and Jane then cooked up the stalker scheme. Beauvoir just made things easier for them. We know the two incidents aren't related, but we also have enough evidence on Beauvoir and Sanders to make some charges stick."
"That so-called 'church' Aro founded really messed those kids up," Charlie said, his anger spiking. He glanced at Edward, still busy skimming and signing his paperwork, and lowered his voice. "Thanks for bending the rules and allowing Edward to stay on at the Center, despite his obvious conflict of interest. If any other cop had been the liaison, the outcome for Bella in the situation with Beauvoir or Christos could have been fatal."
"It was the least I could do. Once Officer Cullen worked out so well over there, I didn't have the heart to reassign him. And of course, if I had done anything to hinder their budding romance, Renee would've never forgiven me."
"You've got that right," Charlie said with a hearty laugh.
~888~
Bella felt like she'd been run over by a Mack truck, and once she'd convinced her mother and Rosalie to give her a mirror, she confirmed that she actually looked that way, too. What she was not prepared for was how emotional she got over her appearance. Edward had been looking at her as if she was a vision from heaven. He must well and truly love her like Christ loved the Church if he could overlook her current resemblance to the Bride of Frankenstein. She giggled, even as salty tears slid quickly over her swollen cheeks and into her mouth. Rosalie and her mother rushed to console her.
"Oh, Lovely," Renee fussed as she sat on the edge of the bed and began rubbing her back. "Once you heal, you'll be as good as new."
Rosalie took the mirror and then held Bella's hand from the other side of the bed. "Trust me, the outside scars are the least of your worries—they will fade. The memories are the things that are really hard to shake. After I take your statement, I can give you the contact info for a great rape counselor here in Tallahassee."
Renee looked horrified, and Bella's jaw dropped, even as she winced. "Why would I need a rape counselor?"
Rosalie looked helplessly at Renee, who quickly answered, hoping to mitigate any damage that Rosalie's bluntness had caused. "It's customary when you go through such trauma to talk to someone about your ordeal, sweetie."
"He tried his best, but Demetri didn't rape me. I fought him like Aunt Lonette's friend did to make sure that didn't happen. I've been having bad dreams though, so I think talking to someone about the attack will help. It was so scary..."
Renee and Rosalie shared another look. "Are you sure, honey?" Renee asked.
Rosalie headed out the door, muttering. "I'm going to track down the rape kit and talk to Dr. Wardlow."
Bella dragged her eyes from Rosalie's retreating form and back to her mother. "Mom, what...? Is that what everybody thinks?" she asked, but Bella's primary concern was Edward and what that misconception had done to him.
Renee looked into her daughter's eyes. "There was... evidence... and the doctors thought it highly probable when you were admitted. The main concern was saving your life, so they waited as long as they could to do the rape kit."
"Oh no," she said. "Mom, please find Edward... I need to tell him now. It's probably eating him up inside. He always blames himself for everything, no matter what—"
"Shh...I'll go get him honey." Renee brushed the tears away and kissed her daughter's cheek softly, then pulled her into a gentle hug. Knowing that her only child had not been brutalized in that way relieved her greatly. "Calm down now... I'll go get him. But you need to stop crying first, okay? I'm afraid it might give your poor fiancé a coronary or something."
~888~
Edward had never been so happy to see Renee when she joined them in the waiting room. He didn't care about Jane and Demetri's motives anymore; he just wanted to be back at Bella's side. Distracted, he listened half-heartedly to the debriefing. He was elated when Renee whispered that Bella wanted to see him.
He thanked Captain Black one final time and rushed back to her room. He wasn't sure how much time he'd have alone with her before her parents returned, but he would make the best of it.
He stepped inside, grinning as she came into view, and closed the door behind him.
Bella smiled as widely as the healing cuts on her lips would allow. "Heeey," she said in a way that reminded him of all those months ago when he first knew that no amount of fooling around with Tanya, or any other bimbo was going to cut it for him, ever again.
Edward joined her on the bed, sitting near her feet. The bed was raised to a comfortable sitting position for her, and he took her hand and kissed her finger, just below her engagement ring. His heart swelled with the realization that she would get better and they would soon be getting married as planned.
"Hey," he said. "I love you."
"I love you, too, baby...so much." She moved her hand to caress his face and he almost came undone.
He wanted to hold her, but he was afraid that it would only bring her pain, so he took her hand and planted more kisses on her knuckles and then her palm. Not letting go, he rested their hands between them.
"How are you feeling? Any pain?"
"I'm good for now. They've got me plowed with painkillers, so I look worse than I actually feel."
"Good," he said. "I thought Captain Black would never stop talking. When your mom said you wanted to see me, I wanted to kiss her."
"These lips won't be out of commission for long, buster," she mock-scolded. "Give me a couple of days before you go off kissing other women, even if it is my mom."
Edward couldn't help but laugh. It was the first time he'd been able to since her ordeal. "Believe me, I would have kissed your mother's cheek, but I can't say the same for Emmett, though."
"Emmett thinks my mom's hot? Since when?"
Edward shook his head. He was not comfortable with the way their conversation was going. "Since day one, but don't tell Rosalie. He'll be in the doghouse for weeks."
Bella laughed. "Oh yeah, I know. A little cougar competition would drive my girl insane. My lips are sealed."
"Your mom said you wanted to see me. Was there something you needed? Anything you want, I'll make sure you have it."
She smiled, but he could see pain behind her eyes. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened with Demetri—"
"It's okay, baby," Edward said, his voice cracking. Then he steeled himself. "He will pay for what he did to you."
She leaned over with a bit of difficulty and brushed his cheek softly with her lips. "I know... I know. I just need to tell you what really happened, so you won't feel guilty about it."
"I failed you, Bella, but I'll never fail you again. You don't have to explain, or worry about my guilt."
"Edward—"
"I'm so glad I don't know where he's housed here in the hospital, or I'd go finish ripping his balls off —"
Bella put both hands on his face and steadied him, then tracked his eyes until he held her gaze. "Edward."
"Yes?"
"He didn't rape me."
Edward didn't think he'd heard her right, or maybe Bella was subconsciously blocking out what had actually occurred.
"I prayed and asked God to help me. Then I remembered how my aunt's friend fought off her rapist. I couldn't let him take what I'd saved only for you," she said. "He probably wouldn't have beaten me up so badly if I hadn't tried to surgically remove his junk with my fingernails."
Edward hated to ask, but he wanted to be sure. "So, you're sure he didn't—?"
"No, unless he did it with damaged equipment while I was unconscious."
Edward felt like the weight of the whole world had lifted from his shoulders. While the assault was sexual in nature and a tragic thing for anyone to have to endure, he was relieved to learn that she had been able to thwart her attacker. He was so overwhelmed by this great news, he couldn't speak.
Bella squeezed his hand again, and he swallowed to clear the lump that was threatening to close his throat. She held her arms out and he laid his head on her torso, allowing her to soothe him like only she was able to do. He swallowed his tears and just barely kept himself together for her.
"Oh, thank God. Thank God," he murmured against her chest.
"All I could think of was how long I'd waited for you and how much you've sacrificed to be with me, and I couldn't let anyone take that from us. I'm so thankful for that, for both our sakes."
~888~
Edward didn't think he could be more relieved that Bella was finally being released from the hospital. His original belief was that the longer she stayed the better; however, the constant barrage of visiting friends and family made him reconsider quickly. The scheduled nurse visits throughout the night also made it difficult for her to get uninterrupted rest. He'd almost been at the point of banning visitation altogether.
On the Swans' last visit, Charlie sensed Edward's frustration and reassured him. "It's been a very hectic week, son, and I'm just about as fed up as you are with it, but they mean well. When she comes to the house tomorrow, why don't you just bring a bag and stay a few days?"
To say he'd been shocked was an understatement. While Edward fully intended to spend as much time with Bella as he could while she was recuperating, he'd expected to be welcomed during the day at the Swans' home, and then have to traipse back over to the condo every night. Charlie's offer humbled him. The reverend had truly accepted him as family.
As he proudly pushed Bella in the wheelchair out to Charlie, who was playing chauffeur, the nurse's assistant pushed a cart loaded with an obscene array of flowers, fruit, balloons, teddy bears, and get-well cards. The swelling in her face had gone down considerably, and Bella's scars were healing rapidly.
He'd only left her once in the week she'd been in the hospital, and that had been the night before, when he'd gone back to the condo to pack. When he'd returned, he walked in to find Alice and Renee giving Bella a mini-spa treatment, hospital style. It made Edward ecstatic that she had been so happy with the results. She wasn't vain, but he knew she was uncomfortable with him seeing her the way she was.
Now, she looked almost normal except for a bandage to her left temple, a magnificent shiner, a wrap on her right hand, and a few cuts and bruises. Alice had assured her that if the bruising wasn't mostly gone by the holidays, she could work her magic. Edward didn't care. All he saw was the woman he loved.
They got Bella settled into her old bedroom, and Edward deposited his things in the guest room, which went largely unused except when he was showering, or getting dressed.
The first night she was home, he fell asleep on the floor next to her bed. The next night, he slept in a stuffed chair next to her bed. By the third night, Bella coaxed him into lying down on the bed with her, and there he remained all night. He feared Charlie might discover that he wasn't using the guest room and kick him out, but the Swans seemed to have adopted a see/hear/speak no evil policy during their daughter's convalescence and were leaving them to their own devices.
They were able to manage the visits to the Swan home better, so now they only received visits after work hours, between six and eight o'clock, and it dwindled to family and close friends. Bella's aunt Lonnette and her boys were in town, so of course they also came by.
A few days later, they were in the Swan living room visiting with his mother. Edward was sitting next to Bella on the sofa, while Elizabeth was in an armchair drinking tea. Renee was at the grocery store, and Charlie was away counseling a couple of parishioners, so they had the house to themselves.
"It's such a shame that you have to go back to work the week before Thanksgiving," Elizabeth commiserated. "Are you really ready?"
Bella looked up, waiting with interest for his answer. Edward looked into her eyes and smiled, then answered his mother, his voice tinged with reluctance. "I have to go back sometime. If I didn't think I'd get totally rusty, I'd take a sabbatical until after our honeymoon." Bella smiled, satisfied with his answer, and squeezed his hand. "Besides, one of us has to go back to the Center, and since it can't be Bella, maybe the kids will settle for me."
Bella laughed. "He's so full of it, Mrs. Cullen. He's going back because that was our compromise. I can work vicariously through him from home. I really miss the kids, and they'll only be around until a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving. Alice, Maria, and Mrs. Williams have planned a lot of activities from now until the second week of December."
"I'll call Alice and find out how I can help," Elizabeth said. "Now that Charlie and I have worked out the details of the scholarship and the gym addition, I really want to be more hands-on at the Center."
"That's great," Bella said." Thank you."
"And Bella, dear, please call me Elizabeth. 'Mrs. Cullen' is rather stuffy. Even Edward has finally capitulated and calls your parents by their given names."
Bella blushed. "I know things have changed, but my parents brainwashed me when I was younger. I got into so much trouble if I didn't address grownups properly. I guess I keep forgetting that I'm now officially a grownup, too."
Edward chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Only you would allow a rule from your childhood to make you feel uncomfortable."
"I know it'll probably take some getting used to, but I really want you to be comfortable with me, and view me as Edward does. After all, you'll be my daughter soon."
Bella's sniffed and hopped up off the sofa to give Elizabeth a hug, and Edward was proud to see that his mother returned it rather enthusiastically. "That really means a lot to me," Bella said, blinking back tears.
"There, there now," Elizabeth soothed, patting her back and mirroring Bella's tears.
Edward rolled his eyes but continued to smile fondly at the display of affection between the two most important women in his life as he marveled over how completely his feelings had changed toward his mother.
Looking back, he remembered that her bout with breast cancer brought him back into her life, but the Volturi case and her brush with death caused him to give her a chance to redeem herself. Then there was Bella's example, and the teachings at City of Hope that inspired him to love her unconditionally, despite all the baggage they each carried from the past. God had really worked a miracle in that respect.
When Bella returned to sit down, Edward reached over and pulled her into his lap, and she kissed the dimple on his chin. Had his mother not been there, he was certain that move would've prompted a make-out session, but he was much better with control since he'd almost lost her. In deference to their audience, he just kissed the tip of her nose in response.
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Now children," she said almost coyly. "I've got more news."
Edward and Bella gave her their undivided attention. Edward's brow creased. "Yes, Mom?"
"I didn't come back to Tallahassee alone," she announced. "I have a house guest."
Edward pursed his lips and shook his head in disbelief. "Don't tell me. You brought him back with you."
"Yes," Elizabeth said. "Your father didn't need to be alone during the holidays of what could be his final days on the planet. He wanted to come by the hospital while Bella was there, but he wasn't sure how you would handle that. He sends his love and his congratulations on your upcoming wedding."
Edward ran his hand through his hair, and Bella put her arms around him and held him close. She knew how volatile he could be, and was trying to circumvent his anger. Oddly, his mother's announcement didn't frustrate him as much as he would have thought. Maybe he was feeling particularly benevolent, or he was finally ready to forgive his father. Better yet, perhaps God was preparing to grant him another miracle.
He held Bella close as he looked into his mother's eyes. "Mom, next time you come into town, will you bring those letters to me?"
Elizabeth picked up her purse and approached him as Bella released him from her embrace. Reaching into her purse, Elizabeth handed him a small stack of letters tied with a ribbon.
"You came prepared, didn't you?"
Since his mother had returned, he'd been worrying how Edward, Sr. was faring alone in Indiana. It turned out his fears had been unfounded, since the man had been only twenty five miles away the entire time.
"From God's mouth to my ears," Elizabeth said simply. "I've been praying non-stop for you since I went to take care of your father. A still small voice told me during my quiet time this morning that you might be ready for these."
Edward took the letters gingerly, handling them almost as if they might be explosive, and then placed them on the sofa next to him. "I'm not making any promises," he said.
Elizabeth smiled. "No need to. God keeps them better anyway."
~888~
Bella excused herself to go upstairs and take a nap after his mother left, leaving Edward with the dreaded stack of letters. He knew she was just trying to give him privacy, because she couldn't sleep without him in the room with her due to the nightmares. He paced, eyeing the letters disdainfully.
Despite his previous estrangement from his parents, there was something intrinsic in him as a human being that yearned for a relationship with them. He'd been in denial for many years, feeding his commitment phobia by constantly recalling their mistreatment of him. As he'd gotten to know his mother better, he realized that what she'd done to him had much to do with the failure of her first marriage and her belief that the COGS dogma could heal her from it. He reasoned that if he could forgive his mother, whose transgressions against him had been many, surely he could offer the same to his father, especially now that he was dying.
He finally stopped pacing and approached the letter stack and then pulled one out of the ribbon. Looking at his father's handwriting was like looking at his own, and it gave him an eerie feeling as he slid his finger beneath the flap and opened it. The letter was dated June 10, 2003, just a few days before his twenty-first birthday.
Dear Edward:
I know that you've been angry enough with me that you're probably not reading my letters, so I've decided to write the same letter to you, or some variation thereof, until you finally respond.
My father taught me that one of the most important abilities in life is to be able to take the pain and persevere, and I've done that, even when I'm the author of that pain. That's fine when it only affects me, but I made you grow up way before your time. Because of that, I fear that I might have ruined you for any substantive loving relationship in the future, and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'd like to apologize for not having the guts to really be your father when you needed me most. You might think I mean my not believing you when you told me what Irina was up to, but no. I did eventually I realize that she'd lied, but by then it was too late. You were in the middle of your first tour in Afghanistan.
What I'm referring to is not giving you the gift of loving your mother. That was the single most important thing I could have done to be a good father to you. Your mother is one of the finest women I know. She was devoted to me, yet I didn't honor our marital vows, and I don't blame her at all for divorcing me. I should have embraced her commitment to faith and held onto her, but I was a shallow, stupid man who didn't know a good thing when I had it.
When Elizabeth sent you to live with me, deep down I knew the way I was living wasn't conducive to raising a child. After your mother and I divorced, I'd degenerated into a caricature of a man with no direction and no purpose in life. Alcohol became my best friend, my source of solace, and it fueled my gargantuan ego and hedonistic lifestyle. Giving you the gift of self-reliance was easy, because I never demonstrated that you could depend on me.
I understand from Carlisle and your mother that the Marines completed the job that neither she nor I was able to. I think it was Nietzsche who said, "When one has not had a good father, one must create one." You have done this so admirably and in spite of my inability as a parent to make any significant contribution.
Finally, I apologize for not having been a good father to you. However, I'm thankful that you were able to both adopt and create one. Carlisle stood up for you when I did not, and for that, I will be eternally grateful to him. The USMC might think I'm off my rocker if I wrote them a letter of thanks for their part in your maturity, so I'll save that one.
I want you to know I realize that you are a far better man than I ever was and there is nothing I did to make that happen except provide the seed to make you. And if I ever get the opportunity to say that to you, I will be happy.
Edward Anthony Cullen, Sr.
Edward's throat closed. Given the turn of events with his father's health, the letter affected him more profoundly than he would have expected. When Bella came down and found him, he was huddled on the floor in front of the sofa, the letters, all read, scattered around him. She joined him there and wrapped him in her arms, holding him until he was ready to talk.
He gave her the rundown from the first to the last letter. Edward, Sr. began writing them when Edward was nineteen and continued each consecutive year, despite his stubborn refusal to read or respond to them. Most were written while his father was still drinking, and some of the more recent ones were between sporadic periods of sobriety.
His father had stopped drinking altogether in 2008, when his cirrhotic liver began to show signs of failing. Remembering that his mother had told him his father had made his peace with God, Edward saw a change in the timbre of the letters from 2009 forward. There was a humility that had not been there before. His father had even apologized for not allowing him to make his own career choice and withholding his college fund. In the end, he told Bella about his father's prognosis.
"Baby, I'm so sorry."
Edward cupped her face. "Don't let this upset you, Bella. You're still recuperating. I don't want this to be your burden."
"Too late for that, Cullen," she said as she leaned in to kiss him. "Everything that affects you touches me."
"Same here," he said and kissed her back. Then he began gathering up the letters, and Bella helped him.
"You know, it's freaky how similar your writing is to your dad's."
"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing..." And then it really hit him about all the things they shared, like the same genes and the same DNA. He was probably a great match as an organ donor for his father, but he didn't even want to go there. Not yet, anyway. They hadn't spoken in ten years, and Edward was weary with the anger he'd carried all that time.
Bella would forgive and she would encourage him to do the same. Still, he wasn't sure how he'd react to the father who'd failed him so miserably. The letters read as if he was a man who honestly had remorse for the things he'd done—or had not done. Edward had to give him credit for having written even before he was sick, so maybe his newfound humility wasn't just because he was dying. Could he let his father die without offering him a part of his liver?
Bella noted he'd gone introspective. "What?"
He tied the letters back together and took a few moments to answer. "Want to take a ride with me to my mother's tomorrow morning after your appointment?"
"I thought you'd never ask," Bella said with a brilliant smile.
~888~
Bella's appointment was with a psychologist right down the street from Dr. Levy's office, and Edward was really tempted to pay him an unexpected visit. However, he'd just had an appointment two days before and they'd discussed his father. The only problem was that it was in the context of him being miles away in Indiana. Now that Edward knew he was in Crawfordville, he felt conflicted.
It had seemed so easy when he'd decided to go see him the night before, but in the light of day, he felt like he was fifteen again and was requesting an audience with the emotionally-stunted alpha male he'd grown to hate. The discovery that his father had made gestures toward reconciliation had really thrown him for a loop. Perhaps he owed it to himself to at least see him, to determine whether his father had really changed. He would hate for him to die without even attempting to reconcile. Then he would always wonder if he'd done the right thing.
Before he knew it, Bella's hour was up and they were in the car taking the familiar trek to his mother's sprawling estate. As if Bella could sense his unease, she took his hand across the console. Even in the midst of dealing with her own emotional turmoil she supported him. The nightmares were practically the single abiding remnant of her ordeal. He glanced at her beautiful face, which was continuing to heal and beginning to resemble the flawless perfection it had been before the assault.
It still angered him to see the fading bruises that were a constant reminder of the terror Bella had endured. A man who could do that to a woman was no man in his opinion. Demetri was a monster, and Edward was grateful he was locked up so he couldn't do that to anyone else. It was killing him that she would have to face her attacker one last time to testify against him. The only saving grace was the certainty that Demetri and Jane would pay for what they'd done to Bella, Alice, Rosalie and his mother.
He pulled into the long driveway and parked behind his mother's Cadillac, then looked at Bella who was regarding him with concern.
"I'm okay," he reassured her and took a deep breath. His heart would say otherwise.
She squeezed his hand. "It's normal to be nervous in this situation. I can stay in the room with you or have tea with your mother while you two talk."
"I want you by my side. There's nothing we could say to each other that I wouldn't want you to hear."
"Maybe not, but your father might be uncomfortable —"
"Tough. He's gonna have to get used to the idea that you're going to be my wife."
She stared at him, wide-eyed. "Okay..."
"Bella," he said quickly and leaned close until his forehead was against hers. "I'm sorry."
"I know," she said quietly. "It's stressful, but I have a really good feeling about this. I think your father may have rededicated himself to his faith." Edward snorted, but she continued, raising her hand to caress his cheek. "You don't have that kind of faith for generations and not come back to revisit it, especially given the crisis his life is in."
"My dad hasn't set foot in a church since I was nine. It's humbling to be faced with your own mortality. Maybe that's all this is for him."
"Even if it is, our duty is not to judge but to point him to God. What he does with it is his business."
He was marrying such a wise woman. "Are you sure you weren't supposed to be Rev. Charlie Swan, Jr.?"
She giggled. "You'd better be glad I'm not."
He chuckled, giving her a peck on the lips, and went around to open the door for her.
When he looked up, his mother was already standing at the threshold of the front door, waiting for them. She greeted them warmly, but did some extra fussing over Bella, whom she escorted to the settee and insisted she put her feet up. Bella obliged, and his mother turned his attention to him.
"Ted will be out shortly," she said. "He let me cut his hair. His condition has made it very damaged and brittle, so he wanted to look as nice as he could—it's been so long since you've seen each other."
Edward nodded and shoved his hands nervously into his pockets. He went over to Bella, but remained standing.
Elizabeth looked at him quizzically. "You can sit down."
"I know...um, maybe in a second."
"I have coffee, tea, and snickerdoodles. Would you care for something?"
"Yes, I was just telling Edward that I'd love to have some of your tea," Bella said. "And maybe a couple of snickerdoodles. Oh my gosh, those things are to die for."
"I'll have a cup of coffee, black, thanks," Edward said quietly.
"Coming right up." His mother smiled and left the room.
Bella reached for his hand and he finally sat down next to her. His thoughts were everywhere but in the here and now. He recalled with startling detail the day he left home after fighting over his father's wife's accusations and then his father's refusal to free up his college fund.
To blow off steam, he'd caught the bus and gone downtown, where he ran into a Marine Recruiter he'd met at school who painted him a picture of an elite group of soldiers whose core values were honor, courage and commitment. That day he'd enlisted, and his fate had been sealed. He'd couch-dived at a buddy's' house until he shipped out to the Marine Recruit Training Depot at Parris Island, South Carolina.
Bella caressed his hand, breaking his reverie, just as a wiry, practically emaciated man, dressed impeccably and sporting a new haircut came shuffling into the room. Edward closed his eyes briefly. He'd expected a slightly grayer version of the father he'd left ten years before, the one who was constantly yelling at him. Instead, this shell stood before them. His body was different, but his voice was the same, even as tears poured down his cheeks.
"Edward," he said simply and pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped eyes that were yellowed from jaundice. "I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional, but it's been too long." He held his hands up as if in surrender. "I don't expect you to welcome me with open arms or anything, son, but it sure would be nice to shake your hand."
Edward was stunned into silence, but Bella nudged him. The trance broken, he finally stood as his father moved in. They shook hands briefly.
"I know," Edward Sr. said as he stepped back. "I'm physically half the man I was, but spiritually more whole than I've ever been. If you can imagine, I'm actually doing better. When your mother came I was skin and bone. Her cooking, even with my dietary restrictions, fattened me up in no time."
Edward lapsed almost automatically into the son he'd been a decade ago, acknowledging his father with a title of respect. "Sir."
His father smiled and looked around him to where Bella sat on the sofa. "You must be Bella."
"Yes." She smiled, blushing, and went to stand, but his father tutted. "Please, stay seated." He turned to Edward. "She's stunning, son, but I never expected any less from you." He walked over to Bella and took her hand. "I'm so very sorry about the ordeal you experienced recently. The Volturis have always been as mad as loons. I told Elizabeth that very thing eighteen years ago, but what do I know, right?" He rolled his eyes playfully and gestured to Edward as he sat in the armchair adjacent to them. "Sit down, son."
Edward obediently sat back down next to Bella, and he realized with some chagrin that the moment he'd heard his father's voice, everything he'd rehearsed in his head went out the window. It was like he was standing in front of a drill Instructor at basic training again, only his father was the ranking officer, and he was a sand flea. If nothing else, his father was good at taking control of a situation and placing himself in a position of power, even while feigning vulnerability.
"So, congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Beth says New Year's Day, right?"
"Yes s—" Edward was about to say "Yes, sir" again, but this jerk didn't deserve the honor. "Yes, we thought it would be appropriate to begin our new life together in the New Year."
Edward stiffened as Bella giggled before replying. Even she seemed to fall prey to his father's charms. "To be honest, Mr. Cullen, he let my mother and me pick the date."
"Smooth move, son," his father praised. "Smart to ingratiate yourself with the new mother-in-law."
Edward's pulse was pounding. Was this guy any different? From the show he was putting on, he'd hazard to guess, no, but he couldn't be objective. As his father peppered Bella with questions, Edward glared at him until his mother re-entered the room with a tray.
His father jumped up to help her, and his mother blushed. Well, damn, looks like the old man hasn't changed at all. He was so angry, he couldn't see straight. Someone had to say something and not let him get away with this. He waited until Bella had her cookies and tea, and his mother sat down before he set the record straight.
Edward sipped his own coffee and set his cup back on the saucer. "So, let me get this straight," Edward said calmly. "You breeze in here with your dog and pony show and charm the women in the house, and we're supposed to act like the last ten years never happened?"
Edward Sr.'s face fell, and his eyes went to the floor. A few seconds later when he looked up, it was as if he'd become another person. "You...you're right son, I should have approached you with more humility. I'm not that immature guy anymore who has to be in charge all the time, but I was determined not to appear weak. The truth is… I am. I'm dying, and I've never met a man more deserving of his fate. I was a horrible husband to your mother. I was an even more horrible father to you. I almost single-handedly ruined your chances of ever having a relationship with a beautiful girl like your Bella. I allowed a lying woman to come between us, and I didn't give you the freedom to make your own career choice. Your service in the Marines saved you from my feeble attempt at raising you and made you a better man than I ever could have." He sighed. "I know, I told you all this in my letters, but you're right. You needed to hear it from me and to see my eyes while I was saying it. Please forgive me, son."
The tears were falling again, and it was as if Edward could see into his father's soul. He had never heard him speak so humbly and with such contrition.
He continued huskily, wiping his eyes with his handkerchief again, "All I need before I go to my grave is to know that you forgive me."
Finally, Edward felt like he was in the presence of the man who had written the letters he'd read the night before. He'd been in a different place when he reconciled with his mother, and the process of forgiveness had taken time. He wasn't sure if the knowledge that his father was dying was the catalyst or if it was the grace of God working in his heart, but he couldn't withhold his forgiveness. He stood and approached his father, whose head was bowed, as if waiting for permission to speak again.
"Dad," Edward said softly. His father looked up as he towered over him, and Edward extended his arms. "I forgive you."
Edward Sr. moved as quickly as his condition would allow, and the next thing Edward knew, he was being embraced by his father for the first time in more than ten years.
When they emerged from their embrace, his mother had joined Bella on the sofa and they were holding each other and bawling their eyes out. He and his father did the only gentlemanly thing they could think to do and comforted the women.
~888~
E/N: So, didn't get to the end of the story in this chapter as planned, but I had to give Copward an opportunity to interact with Edward Sr. This means, there will be a Chapter 37. The wedding and honeymoon are up next and if this chapter wraps everything up neatly, there may not be an epilogue to the story proper, but there will be at least two epilogues of future outtakes that I owe to the three awesome women who purchased TLC for FGB.
Recs: "The Foreign Papers" by Javamomma0921, "My Place In Line" by Swimom7, and "Sleeping With A Monster" by SavageWoman.
Tell me, what do you think about Edward Sr.? Review and let me know.