Leliana

I waited until Salem's breathing deepened, enjoying the warmth of her arms. Gently, I extricated myself from her embrace and watched her sleep. Her eyes shifted restlessly beneath her lids. I frowned. Her nightmares had been getting worse and coming more frequently. I did not know if they were caused by her tainted blood or the horrific memories of her past.

Or her death, my own guilt insisted. Who knows the horror of returning from eternity? Certainly not I. Though I have come close to death, I have not crossed that line.

Salem shifted in her sleep, affording me the opportunity I wanted. I lifted her shirt, wincing at the new bruising along her ribs.

Little fool, I thought, a smile tugging at my lips. Ever since the qunari had taunted her, Salem had been dogged in her determination to re-master the sword. Sten's manner of instruction was far from gentle, and while I admired Salem's resolve, I feared she would push herself beyond her limits. In the two weeks that had passed since our ordeal in Denerim, my warden had withdrawn, speaking less, smiling less.

Feeling less, my wounded heart chimed. I pursed my lips, trying to push away the truth of what I felt. Salem's touch had grown hesitant, her kisses had become distant, but I had no desire to push any other issue further.

But I ache for you, my warden. I traced her strong jawline, feeling the muscles there clench beneath my fingertips. I miss being the cause of your sleepless nights. I long for your whispers against my ears. I know you feel you are not whole, that, without your sight, you are somehow lessened in my eyes. And I fear speaking to you of this, lest it bring more pain, more silence.

I lifted her shirt yet further, inspecting the wound left by Marjolaine's dagger. Scar tissue grew towards the center, which was still an angry red.

Still healing. I frowned, unhappy with her progress. We should not have left Denerim so soon. Wynne agreed with me...

"We can't stay here." Salem argues, sightless eyes burning. "Every watch, every camp patrol has seen Loghain's men. They're suspicious. We cannot afford..."

"To lose our leader." I interrupt. Salem turns her face towards the sound of my voice. For the first time since we met...her gaze wounds me.

"I am not what is important at this moment." she says, voice low. "I have already delayed us too long. I will not allow my condition to damage the safety of this group as a whole."

"You died in my arms two nights ago!" I lose my temper. "I watched Wynne force lightning into your heart! Magic only works so fast, Salem! Stop putting yourself at risk!"

"I'm blind, Leliana!" Salem thunders, frightening me, hurting me. "Chances stand that if we encounter danger, I will be unceremoniously forced to the back of the line! That's plenty of time to heal."

"The strain of travel itself could damage you worse than combat." I retaliate. "You cannot just blindly charge in..." I stop, realizing my choice of words. "Salem, forgive me. I did not..."

"Don't speak." she turns her face away from me. "Just...don't."

"Leliana is right, Salem." Wynne's calm breaks our thunderstorm. "With your adverse reaction to it...magic has done all it can for you. Those wounds can still re-open. There is still internal damage. It would be unwise to attempt travel."

Salem pinches the bridge of her nose, a sure sign of frustration. "It would be worse to be hung as traitors. Then we would have no defense against the Blight. A little blood spilled, a little strength lost...it doesn't matter. After all," her voice turns bitter, "it is not as though I have a long life awaiting me should we survive this nightmare."

Blood drains from my face. It is one thing to possess the knowledge of Salem's fate. It is quite another to have her spit it in my face.

"Be that as it may," Wynne intervenes, "if you risk your health now, you may find yourself too weak...or even dead...before the final battle."

"It's a bet." Salem says. "Wynne, please tell the others we break camp at first light."

Wynne purses her lips, but knows better than to argue any further with the warden. She leaves and I am alone with Salem.

"Love..." I begin.

"You should get some rest." she cuts my words short. "We've a long day ahead of us."

"I am not afraid to face it." I refuse to let her ignore me. "I am not my concern."

"Don't concern yourself with me." Salem mutters. "I cannot...cannot bear this. The burden of my uselessness is devastating. I must at least try to remain an effectual leader, lest I lose what few allies I have."

"Kill the leader to save the group?" I ask, smiling. "That in itself is highly ineffectual, my warden."

Salem pinches the bridge of her nose once more before her shoulders begin shaking with laughter. "I'm losing my mind." she groans.

I move towards her and wrap my arms around her. "It will be fine, my love. I promise. I will be with you every step of this journey."

"You'll have to be." Salem tucks her head against my shoulder. "I cannot see."

"I love you, Salem." I whisper, kissing her hair. "I am so sorry for my earlier words. I didn't think, I didn't..."

"You spoke your mind." she raises her face to mine, trying in vain to connect with vision she does not have. "My reaction was petty and far too swift. Forgive me, please."

"I do." I kiss her, gentle, trying to convey reassurances that I cannot put into words. "I...I still think this is unwise."

"As do I." Salem agrees, at last. "But it is a necessity. I...I will be careful, Leliana."

And she had been. Until Sten had told her that he could teach her to overcome her limitations. Then she had become reckless once again. She had thrown herself into training wholeheartedly, abusing her still fragile body.

New bruises, muscle tears, and cuts appeared every night. It worried me more than I cared to admit. I was surprised that the qunari had left her bones unbroken.

"I love you, Salem." I whispered. "Please understand. Whatever time is left to you is precious to me. Do not rush to end it."

Salem moaned in her sleep, her hand moving over her heart. I winced. My blade had delivered the antidote that had saved her life, but the wound had been deep.

"Leli..." Salem turned her head to the side and her fingers clutched at the ground.

"Salem?" I lifted her hand. "Are you awake?"

Her jaw tightened and the muscles in her neck jumped. Nightmare, I realized. Careful not to wake her, I removed the knife she kept near her side during the night. Even blind, she could take the blade and end my life all too easily. I had discovered this shortly after I joined the warden's band, on the first night I had forcibly woken her from dreaming. Had Marjolaine's training not prepared me for such things, I would have been killed.

A strangled cry wrenched from her throat and I held her hand tighter. Salem pulled away, searching for her weapon.

Please wake up, I begged with my thoughts.

I started singing, low and soothing. It had worked before, slowly bringing her out of her nightmare and back into the waking world. Tonight, however, she remained trapped.

Sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down her face. Her brow creased and I reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Leliana!" she shrieked my name as she bolted upright. "Leli!"

I reached out to her, taking her in my arms. Salem's breaths were harsh and labored, her hands cold as they roved all over my body.

"Are you all right?" her words tripped over themselves. "Are you hurt? Leli? Are you here? Can you hear me?"

"I'm here." I assured her. "I am fine, love. You were dreaming, Salem."

A shaky sigh of relief made her sag against me. "I dreamt you were dying." her hands traced their way up to my face. "Your blood was all over my hands and I couldn't stop it. You were so...so..."

She dreams of my death? The sole time her sight returns is in dreaming, and she is forced to watch me die. "I'm here, my love. With you."

"Don't leave." she begged, destroying the barriers and tension that had risen between us since we left Denerim. "Please don't leave."

"Lie back." I eased her body down, fitting my form to hers.

"I don't want to sleep." Salem's voice trembled. "I don't want to see that again. Maker's blood, Leliana, is there no rest for me anywhere? My sight is gone and now the only way I can see you is in dreaming. Where you die. It's not right." she struck the ground with her fist; my heart and the earth cracked. "I just want to see you." Salem whispered. "To see you smile."

I smiled and brushed her fingers over my lips, placing feather light kisses against them. "Sleep, Salem. I will be here in the morning."

"Promise me."

"I swear it."