Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns all!
A/N: Sorry for lack of updates! Personal life has been a little sketchy lately and getting my life back in order writing. Hopefully should see more regular updates soon!
She loves me. Lily is in love with me! Narcissa practically skipped on her way back to the Common Room, wand-light illuminating an unmistakeable joy on her features. The cold air of the corridors was but a mere trifle to a girl warmed within by the heady spirit of young love.
Nearly colliding with a statue, Narcissa looked around and realised she was nowhere near the Slytherin Dungeons. Oh, if only Lily and I had a place where we could talk, and just be ourselves. She thought wistfully, the memory of far too many interrupted conversations at the front of her mind. Narcissa found herself idly staring down the corridor. Somewhere we could be ourselves, and be safe. To her shock, a large wooden door suddenly appeared in front of her!
Cautiously, Narcissa pressed a hand against the door, staggering when it swung open quite neatly. Slipping inside, she was greeted by a cozy little room – tall bookshelves lining the walls of a library alcove, a small sofa set in front of a fireplace, with two open doorways showing what looked to be a bathroom, and – she blushed – a bedroom.
The Room of Requirement! She thought excitedly. I've heard rumours, but I never thought I'd actually find it! She thought gleefully. We don't have to hide anymore. I won't belong to Lucius, and she won't be considering James.
Satified, Narcissa left the room, taking note of the location the door had appeared in. Tomorrow, she promised herself. I'll owl Lily and tell her to wait for me here. Andromeda's letter clutched tightly in one hand, the Slytherin gathered her thoughts and headed for the Common Room.
"Lily!" Narcissa rose from the lounge as her girlfriend entered the Room of Requirement, a look of amazement clearly visible.
"Narcissa, how did this get here?" Her obvious stream of questions was cut off by a heated kiss. Lily found her back pressed against the locked door. "Narcissa!" She squeaked. "Are you insane? Anyone could walk in here!"
"No, they can't." She replied, smugly. "This room is one of Hogwart's little secrets. It suits the needs of whomever finds and opens the door. I was pacing last night, so excited from Romi's letter, and telling you how I felt, and you feeling the same, and just everything. And voila, the door appeared."
"I don't think I've ever seen you look so... confident. Happy." Lily cocked her head, checking her girlfriend out. "I like it." Lily lead her unexpectedly assertive girlfriend to the lounge, and sat beside her.
"We're safe, Lily. No-one can sneak up on us, or eavesdrop. I asked the Room for somewhere safe, where we could be ourselves." She gestured around the small apartment. "And I got it. For the first time in my entire life, Lily, I don't feel ashamed, or scared, or shy. I don't have to worry about others considering me aloof or arrogant. I don't have to worry about keeping my gaze away from you out of fear someone can tell. Nothing in this room matters except you and me." Narcissa kissed her, a kiss full of promises.
"I like the sound of that." Lily smiled. "May I look around?"
"Sure." Standing, Narcissa took her by the hand and led her around the apartment. There's the bathroom – similar to what I've heard of the Prefect's bathrooms – a small library nook over here. Another door over here leads to a space like a classroom, I assume for practising spells. It wasn't there before."
"And this one?" Lily put her free hand on a thick oak door, looking questioningly at her girlfriend. Narcissa nodded, and the door was pushed open.
"This would be the bedroom." Narcissa blushed as the two girls walked inside, gold and silver dominating the room. Lily walked over to the bed, running a hand over the soft shimmering quilt. She clambered in to the middle of the bed and sat, bouncing lightly. Narcissa sat beside her. The two girls sat in silence.
"Quite comforta-" Her comment was cut off by Narcissa, kissing her as though the world was ending. Lily found herself kissing back just as ardently, lying back on the mattress. Narcissa followed her, being pulled by lithe hands sliding up her shirt and around her waist. Lily shifted, and in compensating Narcissa found herself effectively straddling the other woman, pressed up against each other from head to toe. Between kisses, Lily's hands were fumbling with buttons.
What are we doing!? Narcissa came to her senses, abruptly aware of how quickly things were moving. We've never been this far before. Lily's eyes were wide, but her mouth was curved in a wicked smile.
"Wait." Narcissa managed to moan. "I love you, but are you – are you ready? Is this what you want? Am I who you want?"
"I love you. I want you." Lily's voice was high. "If you want to wait, that's alright." Narcissa replied with a kiss, leaving Lily breathless. "I'll take that as a 'no.'" she gasped.
"I'm sorry I stopped you." Narcissa said shyly. "I guess I wasn't as ready as I thought." The two girls were cuddling in lingerie underneath the heavy quilt. Clothes were scattered around the room.
"You go from confident and sexy to shy and loveable in the blink of an eye." Lily laughed affectionately. "Stop worrying so much. This is better than fine." She kissed Narcissa's collarbone, eyes lingering on her cleavage. "I'll take this view any day." She added with a wink.
"Thank you. Lily?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you have to date James? Do you want him?"
"No, and certainly not as a lover. It would be... easier, though." Lily's fingers played in Narcissa's hair. "People are starting to ask questions about the lack of men in my life."
"If you feel that being 'content' with James is what you need, I understand. I can never offer you any kind of decent life. The letter from Romi made me consider my engagement..."
"Oh?"
"Even if I called it off with Lucius, ran away, and so on... you and I will never be free."
"I know."
"What do we do, then? Marry a bloke and sneak around? Be considered suspicious spinsters until our dying day?"
"I think Sirius suspects something. He saw me sneak back in to the Common Room last night. He knows I asked after Romi for you, and that we're spending time together to study 'charms.' Narcissa, I know you're still upset about James, but... perhaps it's best if we keep up appearances. You certainly can't change anything with Lucius until graduation. That's two years away."
"Thank Merlin."
"Exactly. We have time to continue taking things slowly. You flirt with your fiancé, I'll flirt with a few boys – not enough to lead them on, mind." Narcissa kissed her hand.
"I wish it could just be us."
"I do, too." Lily chuckled. "Merlin knows what I'm going to do with Potter. He's scented blood, and on the chase." Narcissa laughed.
Narcissa shivered. Even under her thick cloak the cold breeze raised goose-bumps on her skin. A bell chimed above the door to the Hogshead Pub, and she glanced up furtively. A young witch slipped inside, pushing the door shut behind her. Narcissa waved, and her sister walked over.
"Romi!" The girls hugged quickly, glancing around, and then moved towards a booth charmed for privacy. For a moment they both sat there in silence, Narcissa blushing and staring at her hands. "Thank you for coming." She finally whispered. "You have no idea how much it means to me."
"Oh, I think I do, Cissa." Romi gave her a lopsided smile. "So don't I get to meet your new friend?" she added with a wink.
"She doesn't know I'm here. I wanted to talk about your letter?"
"Oh, my dear girl." Romi's voice was heavy with sadness. "I knew you'd realise eventually. But I hoped – for your sake – that it would not come to pass. Cissa... I'm worried about you. You're not even sixteen!"
"You were sixteen when you met Ted."
"Ted won't get me killed." An ugly silence occurred.
"I don't love Lucius, Romi! Believe me, I've tried. Lily and I – we've both got men that want us. We're both keeping up appearances, and it hurts. I hate seeing her walk the halls in his arms instead of mine. I hate the way they can so casually act affectionately. I hate that I can't tell the world I love her and she loves me."
"... that is the fiercest thing I've ever heard you say."
"I love her, Romi. I don't care if you think it's puppy love or ill-advised. But I don't know what to do."
"Why?" Andromeda rested her chin on clasped hands.
"Because I can't offer her anything. Unlike Lucius, she expects nothing. I want to imagine a future with her, and I can't do that when I'm bound to him." Narcissa started to cry softly. "Last month, we found a room in Hogwarts, it changes to whatever you want it to be."
"I know the room, go on."
"And for the first time in my life? I felt free. But we have to stage our meetings so as not to arrive or leave at the same time. I have to studiously keep my expression straight when I look at her across the Great Hall." Narcissa dried her cheeks with the palm of her hand. "I have to pretend to fawn over Lucius at every family engagement, and every time he puts his hand on my waist it takes my every effort not to pull away."
"Oh, Cissa..."
"How do I live with this, Romi? What am I supposed to do? Lily thinks we should just wait things out, but... I don't want to wait. I am tired of waiting."
"You need to graduate, Narcissa." Romi's voice was sad but firm. "It's that or run off and live as muggles. Always living in fear. With the rumours about a pureblood rule growing..." she sighed. "Listen to your girl. Wait until you've finished at Hogwarts, then, if you still feel this way... I'll help you. I think friends of mine could get you out of the country – to France, perhaps."
"You mean that?"
"... I do. Only if you promise to keep your head down, and finish your schooling. You're risking her life as well, never forget that."
"I won't, Romi. Oh, thank you!"
"Alright, Narcissa, I have to go. Ted was worried someone might recognise me, and I really can't linger. I love you." A smile, a kiss on the cheek, and Andromeda Tonks was gone.