AN: thanks to those who reviewed :) Hope you enjoy this chapter! Happay Australia Day to all you Aussies!
Chapter 11
When Tris awoke the next morning, she was momentarily disorientated, until she caught side of Four, who was sitting quietly, reading the paper.
She had slept rather soundly, which had surprised her. She had expected to have at least one nightmare, but Four's presence seemed to have kept her safe from her own mind during the night.
"Good morning," Tris said sleepily. "What time is it?"
"Only about 8. How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?" Four asked, putting down the paper.
"A little sore," Tris admitted.
"Here, take these, you'll feel better soon," Four said, handing her some pills and a glass of water.
"This is a nice room," Tris commented, sitting up and looking around. "Is this what I have to look forward to?"
"It depends if you plan to live here full time or not," Four answered.
"So, you live here always?" Tris asked curiously.
"Only when I'm not on a mission," Four answered. "Some agents have cover stories that allow them to live out of the compound, or stay with their families when it suits, but that's not for me."
"Well, this is certainly nicer than my dorm, or my room at home," Tris said, sensing he didn't want to talk more about why he lived in the compound and not with his family.
The room was large, including a small, two-person table, the couch Four had slept on, a little kitchenette and an en suite.
"It's supposed to be," Four pointed out in amusement. "You earn this."
They were silent for a minute, both seemingly lost in thought.
"You know," Four began. "You can be strong, without aggravating your enemies. I'm not saying what happened last night was right, because it wasn't, it was terribly wrong. But it was what I meant about you taking unnecessary risks. What happens if you end up in trouble I can't get you out of?"
"I know, what I did last night was stupid," Tris agreed quietly. "And I think I get what you've been trying to explain to me, finally. I couldn't see it until you spelled it all out for me."
Four moved and sat next to her on his bed.
"I know you'll want to defy Peter, really stick it to him when you see him next, and when training resumes on Monday, but I really want you to think about just laying low," Four suggested cautiously.
"They attacked me because they think I'm weak!" Tris protested. "They made me look weak, and now you want me to let them think they've won?"
"No, no. Defying them isn't the only way to win. I want you to not aggravate them, and find a better way to prove yourself. Make up with your friends, stick with them, they'll make sure there's no opportunity for Peter to attack you again like last night," Four suggested.
"My friends!" Tris exclaimed. "I forgot about Christina. She's going to wonder where I was all night."
"I took care of Christina, she thinks you were in the infirmary all night," Four said reassuringly. "She is expecting to see you after breakfast."
"Thank you," Tris said in relief. "What do I say if she, or anyone, asks me about you? They'll have questions after last night, I'm sure."
"It'd be best if they didn't know about whatever is going on between us," Four said slowly. "It will make training a lot harder for you. People will give you a hard time, and the senior agents won't like it."
"And what is this?" Tris asked him through lowered lashes. She had never been romantically involved with anyone before, and was lost about how to move forward.
"We'll figure it out, in time. So, just take care of yourself, okay? I'd like you to live long enough to figure it out, that's for sure," Four said half jokingly, half seriously. "I'll see you later, okay? I have a meeting now, and you should go and find your friends. Just lock the door on your way out."
Four gave her a swift but tender kiss on the forehead, and left.
Tris put her shoes on and made her way quickly back to her dorm, managing not to see anyone, concluding most people where enjoying a Sunday sleep-in or else at breakfast.
Tris snuck back into her room, which was empty, Christina was obviously still at breakfast.
Tris headed to the bathroom, showered and changed into a soft pair of black yoga pants, and a light black sweater. She was going to at least wear comfortable clothing if she was in physical pain.
She was lying quietly on her bed, thinking over the last 12 hours, when Christina came in.
"What happened to you?" Christina asked, aghast at the sight of Tris's freshly bruised face. "I got a message from Four, saying you spent the night in the infirmary, he didn't tell me you were there because you'd been beaten up! It's not like this happened in training either."
"I had a run in with Peter and Drew," Tris said slowly. "Someone scared them off, and I ended up in the infirmary. I'm not really clear on what happened, I took a couple of blows to the head."
"I can see that!" Christina exclaimed hotly. "Why did Peter and Drew attack you? How did they find you? Where were you even? You disappeared from the party without saying anything? And what were you talking so long to Four about? You were both absorbed in each other."
"One question at a time, please, Christina," Tris begged softly. "Peter attacked me because he hates me, for reasons unknown. He was angry with me because I won't be beaten by him, even if he keeps trying to take me down. I don't know how they found me, but I was wandering the halls, just thinking. I left the party to think in peace and quiet. Four and I were just talking about various aspects of my training this week, we'd both been drinking, so I guess our arguing got out of hand."
Not a lie, just only part of the truth.
"Tris, you're going to have to take more care around him, and you certainly shouldn't be alone," Christina insisted. "You have to let Will, and Al and me take care of you. I know things are awkward with you and Al at the moment, but this it more important than hurt feelings. And, for what it's worth, Four wasn't looking at you like he was angry with you, he looked like he wanted to drag you off into a dark corner and devour you."
"I doubt that," Tris mumbled, knowing differently. Four certainly felt something for her, he'd admitted as much. They both just had to figure out where to go from there, and how.
"Well, anyway, I'm messaging Will now, so we can fill him and Al in on what happened to you," Christina announced.
"I don't want anyone besides them to know, Christina," Tris said firmly. "You guys are my friends, and I trust you, but I'd rather keep this whole thing quiet, give me a chance of living a relatively normal life here."
"Sure," Christina agreed quickly. "The boys will be here any minute. Do you need anything?"
A few wisecrack remarks came to mind, but Tris just said, "Not now. I'll just mentally prepare myself to go over this again."
The boys arrived, Will looking beyond curious, Al looking uncomfortable.
Christina kindly went over the events briefly, so Tris wouldn't have to again. She also mentioned keeping the matter very quiet.
Will looked increasingly angry, and Al looked rather upset, and possibly a little guilty.
"That bastard!" Will exclaimed. "Look, Tris, you shouldn't go anywhere without one of us for a little while."
"Yeah, everyone seems to be in agreement on that matter," Tris said dryly. "Including me. So, does anyone have any suggestions on what we can do today, seeing as I have to run things by my new bodyguards."
Christina and Will chuckled at this, and Al smiled weakly.
"I think there's a games room somewhere, we could play cards?" Will suggested. "Or whatever else we can find there."
"A quiet afternoon before training starts up sounds good," Tris agreed easily.
"Next weekend, we'll get up to some trouble, or at least do something a little less dull," Christina decided, standing. "We haven't checked out the pool yet, so we should do that at some point too."
So they spent an uneventful morning and afternoon together, Christina and Will being especially protective of Tris. Al was a little less so, and definitely acting strangely, but Tris just chalked it up to their conversation the day before.
About an hour before dinner, Tris and Christina left the boys, in search of obtaining some necessary supplies. For Christina, this included new makeup and hopefully, some new clothes.
Their hunting and gathering mission was successful, and they returned to their dorm room rather light hearted, their day having been mercifully relaxing and unexciting.
This mood dissipated quickly, Tris finding a note address to her on her bed.
She read it, growing whiter by the minute.
She sat down shakily on her bed, taking shuddering breaths.
Christina had been oblivious to Tris's distress as she was trying on her new top.
She turned around for Tris's approval and looked at her in alarm.
"What's happened?" she asked anxiously.
Tris held the letter up and waved it weakly.
"Read this," she said quietly.
So Christina did.
Dear Tris,
When you read this, I will be gone. I am leaving Dauntless. It is not what I thought it would be.
I'm sorry for everything that happened between us, the loss of your friendship and the fact that you did not return my romantic interests are part of the reason why I need to leave. With you by my side, training was bearable. I know I could not face it without you.
I know you are thinking that even though we'll never be more than friends, that we could still at least be friends, but this is not the case. Especially once you know what I've done.
It was my fault that Peter and Drew found you last night. I had seen you talking to Four, and then I watched you leave and saw you wandering around alone. I knew you had not returned to your dorm. When I heard them talking about getting revenge on you, I told them where I thought they could find you. I was weak, and I betrayed you, all because you didn't want me, and because I was jealous watching you with other guys.
I am truly sorry about Peter and Drew. I would do anything to take it back, but I can't. I couldn't see your face every day, knowing what I did.
I'm clearly not meant to be Dauntless, I'm not worthy of the organisation, or you. So I am leaving. By now I'm sure any recollection I have of this place will be gone, including any memories of you.
Don't think too badly of me, I just wasn't strong like you.
Goodbye
Al
"Oh my God," Christina said weakly, truly floored.
"It's awful, right?" Tris said dully. "I want to be mad at him, but I can't. It's all so pathetic."
"Don't you dare feel bad," Christina said suddenly, and sternly. "None of this is your fault. Al knew that too, he didn't write you those things to make you feel bad, even though they did. He's gone now, and it's probably for the best."
"Let's go eat dinner, but only eat chocolate cake," Tris suggested woefully.
"Hell yes," Christina agreed. "And we should find Will and let him know, and he can join us in our quest for chocolate cake."
"Thank God for the kitchen's ability to make amazing chocolate cake," Tris said as she and Christina departed their dorm in search of comfort.
The three of them ate cake in a subdued manner, talking over Al's departure.
The news had somehow circulated to the other recruits, so the dining hall was buzzing with speculation.
Upon returning to their room for the night, Tris prepared for bed, and Christina headed out to hang out a little with Will before bed. Will had lost his roommate, so Christina had volunteered to distract Will for a little longer.
She however didn't leave until she made sure Tris would be secure in their room.
Tris was grateful for Christina's absence, for she wanted a chance to speak to Four.
She grabbed her cell and found Four's contact details, and sent him a message, asking to meet him somewhere.
He replied almost instantly, and arranged to meet her in the elevator at level six, so Tris wouldn't be travelling from her dorm alone for long.
Tris stepped into the elevator, containing only Four.
"What's up?" Four asked, in an oddly casual tone, pressing the button for level 20.
"How can you just ask that, when you know what's happened with Al?" Tris asked, a little hurt.
"Well, I thought I'd pretend I didn't know. I only know because I was his instructor. I guess I was trying to separate being your instructor and being your friend, or whatever," Four explained evenly. "I thought you might try explaining it solely from your end, as if I knew nothing."
"That would've been a nice plan, had I known about it from the start," Tris said dryly, nonetheless touched. She gave him a gentle smile to convey this.
They got out at level 20 and headed to Four's room.
They moved quickly through the shadows in the corridor, to avoid seeing anyone who would notice them.
They reached his room shortly, with no hiccups.
"I'd never really absorbed how many levels there are here, or really thought about what they could possibly be filled with. Every day I seem to discover some new part of the building," Tris commented absently.
"As interested as I am in your discovery of things here, I don't think that's what you really want to talk to me about," Four commented, pulling her down next to him on the couch. "How about you tell me about Al, from your side of things."
"Al left me a note," Tris shared quietly. "It was pretty awful. Did he tell you why he wanted to leave?"
"I didn't speak to him personally, I just had to sign the papers officially removing him from the program," Four replied. "The reason he listed was unsuitability."
"Well, it was partly that," Tris replied. "But it was mostly because of me. Because I didn't return his feelings, and because he felt guilty for something. Oh, here, just read this."
Tris pulled Al's note out of her pocket, and handed it to Four.
While he read it, she paced.
"Would you sit down?" Four said a few minutes later. "Come here."
Tris plopped down, and he pulled her to him, and she curled into his side.
"This was all out of your control," Four said gently, stroking her head.
"Christina went over that, thoroughly," Tris said, her voice muffled as her face was against Four's chest.
"Good. You can't let this get to you. Tomorrow, we'll be training again, and you have to keep it together, okay?" Four said seriously.
"Now you're being my instructor," Tris pointed out cheekily.
"I am not, an instructor would not have this level of emotional investment in you, and care about how you will cope tomorrow," Four retorted. "And if any other instructor is cuddling up to you like this, I won't be at all happy!"
Tris giggled, and then sighed. Everything moved so quickly in Dauntless life, even her emotions. Or perhaps especially her emotions.
They sat there quietly, until Tris stifled a yawn.
"Come on, let's smuggle you back to your dorm," Four said, standing, then taking her hand and pulling her up too.
They hurried back into the elevator, and climbed in, and headed back to level six.
"Goodnight," Tris said, as they came closer to level six.
"See you in the morning," Four returned. "Sleep well."
For a moment, he looked as if he was going to kiss her, but instead settled for giving her hand a tender squeeze, and dropping another tender kiss to her forehead.
She wished he would kiss her, or say or do something that really proved he had feelings for her. Part of her thought that it might be some misguided hero complex that caused him to want to protect her, and nothing more.
Tris slunk back into her bed, her nightmares back in full force, the events of the last few days proving too much for her subconscious.