Title: Sleepless Nights and Two Cups of Tea
Authors: NewOwlWhosDis and Crumple-Horned Snorkack Finder
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this story. All rights are reserved for J.K. Rowling.
Summary: AU of HP starting from the end of fourth year onwards. A story in which Harry is actually affected by trauma after the Triwizard Tournament, Draco is too posh for his own good and adults finally do something.
Pairings: Draco/Harry, background Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Warnings: Mentions of PTSD and various other mental illnesses, mentions of abuse, angst
Author's Notes: Here it is! Our story. My sister and I have wanted to write a fan fiction for as long as we have been reading them. We hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed writing it!We would like to thank The List by smak978 for making us fall in love with Drarry. Maybe one day we get to see the end of the story. Finally, we would like to thank our other sister, who has pre-read this story, even though she is not a Drarry reader.
Chapter One - Dark Hallways
It ended in the graveyard; it always did.
Startled, Harry abruptly woke and sat upright. Shivering from his nightmare, he scanned his surroundings. There was no graveyard, no Voldemort, no thombstone. He was safely tucked away in his bed in Gryffindor tower, but felt anything but secure.
His mind reeled, tormenting him with images from his nightmare and the real world, confusing him. When he looked to his left, he saw the graveyard in front of him, when he looked to his right, the peaceful window of his room. He layed back down and shut his eyes, suddenly feeling dizzy. Immediately, he was transported back to the tombstone, to Cedric, to his parents. He tried reaching out, tried to save him, but just as he was closing in, it all fell away right in front of his eyes.
He had been stuck in the graveyard for only the third night in a row, yet it felt like he had been dreaming about it for years now. Everytime he closed his eyes, he could still see Cedrics' face, still feel the cursehit him, he could hear every word ushered by Voldemort, by his mother, by his father. It seemed to hunt him during the day, every corner he turned, he feared seeing Voldemort or Cedrics' face. His guilt seemed to eat him right from within, and no one understood.
No one.
He tried to talk to Hermione, but she only advised him psychology books, or tried to diagnose him. Ron didn't seem to want to hear his story, his pain. They cared about him, he knew that, but he had never wanted to distance himself from them more.
He knew that it was partly his fault this all happened, no, scratch that, it was completely his fault. He had been the one to convince Cedric to grab the Triwizard Cup, he had been the one that couldn't protect Cedric once they had arrived at the graveyard, and he had not been able to stop Wormtail from bringing Voldemort back to life. He knew he was at fault, and he knew that he didn't deserve their help, but secretly he did want someone to understand, to be there for him, a friend that listens to him without judgement or trying to reason with him. Just someone.
He rose from his bed, his thoughts whirling around in his head. He had to get out, he just had to. Go somewhere, anywhere. His mind continued to confuse him, as his feet brought him through the Fat Lady's portrait, onto the cold stone of the Hogwarts' halls. For what seemed like hours, he walked throught the dark hallways of the castle, but in reality, within fifteen minutes his bare feet touched the warm grass of the grounds. He walked towards the lake, and sat down, staring at the stars and moon, seemingly in peace. His back against a lonely tree, he felt more at peace than he had within Hogwarts the last couple of days. The Polyjuice of Barty Crouch Jr. into Mad-Eye Moody had scared him more than he would let himself believe.
It felt unsafe within the walls of the place he used to call his home.
Everyone going through their lives day to day, complaining about homework, worrying about the exams, all looking forward to the summer holidays, to being with their family again. He didn't understand this, to Harry every minute was a struggle, a fight to keep going, his life had never welt worrisome, why couldn't people see that life had bigger problems than McGonagall's disapproving look when you hadn't read the chapters yet. He found it completely pointless, yet to others, it was the most important thing that had happened in their lifes.
Inside the halls of Hogwarts, it felt like the whole world kept twirling and standing still all at once. Not even beginning to think about all the disapproving, or worse, admiring looks or hushed voices when he walked outside made him feel like he could breathe. Slowly but surely, his dark thoughts found their way to the back of his minds, and he calmed down significantly.
He sat there for a few more hours, nodding of and on again and again, until the sun let itself be known from behind the mountains over the lake.
He walked back to the castle, prepared himself for the day to come, as worry swept over him once again.