This oneshot contains an alternate interpretation of the chapter "Crossover of Consciences : KillJoy and Breaking Dawn: Part two" from "Living The Dream" by Kickass222urmom.

Go check that out when you're done with this, parts 1 and 2 are a bit messy, but part 3 and onward contain some great content. It's my favorite for a reason.

Okay, so the two main characters in this fic, Lance and Graze, are mentally ill and have voices talking inside their heads and each other. Each pony has two consciences(basically shoulder angel and devil) that have their own unique typing quirk. The original story got pretty messy with how it was handled so I'm making it clear here.

Lance's consciences:

[Break talks like this.]

*Dawn talks like this.*

Graze's consciences:
~Kill talks like this.~

{Joy talks like this.}

'Lance's internal thoughts will be written like this.'

I hope you got that.

YVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVY

~OHHHHH, HE JUST KILLED YO SEAGULL LANCE!~ Kill yelled out happily.

[Fuck you! You haven't taken out..] Break began.

Graze looked up and smirked, "Sky eight."

I sat back, "And there goes my last weather pony."

Graze stood up happily, "I WIN AGAIN!"

I rolled my eyes, "I'll figure out how you won all those. There's no way somepony is that luck."

{Graze, your the best cheater ever!} Joy said. He then covered his mouth.

I glared at him, "AHA! I knew you was cheating!" I lunged towards him.

He moved to the side, easily dodging me.

I stood and glared hard at him, "I'm going to beat the hell out of you!"

He turned and ran down the hall, "If you can catch me."

[Get him Lance!]

*Yeah, show him you don't have to cheat to win!*

I chuckled and chased after him down the short hallway.

He jumped through a door, the bathroom.

I followed him in and looked around. I didn't see him, but then I noticed the curtains were drawn. Idiot.

I galloped over to them and pulled them open.

Graze looked at me, standing on his hind legs, his front ones against the walls. A sexy pose. He let out a loud scream, "Oh my oh my! Perv!" He said in his best female voice.

I laughed and grabbed him, "I'll show you a perv!"

He kicked me in the gut, and I fell on my flank. He then ran out of bathroom.

[That was just wrong...]

I stood and chased after him. When I reached the living room, I saw him trying to stand up. Must have fallen over the board game.

I jumped on top of him and held him down.

[Revenge!]

Graze squirmed under my grasp, our limbs tangled like the root system of the great white oak. Despite all his strength he was having trouble getting free.

"Dude! Get off!" Graze yelled as he continued to struggle.

I laughed, "Make me."

{Foolishly foolish as ever.}

~You messed with the wrong bull, Ziggy boy. Fuck 'em up Graze!~

A brief flash of darkness flared around his hoof. In the blink of an eye it slipped from my hold and found its target.

My jewels.

[Bro what the fuck! That hurt you little cheating fag!]

*I know we can't have children anymore but come on!*

~HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~

I was left shaking on the ground, holding my long ruined nutsack 'The pain…'

Graze started posing, a victorious pose "How's that, Girocuck? I moved the supposedly immovable. That's just how great I am."

"...You're gay."

He stopped flexing his forelegs, "Excuse me?"

I slowly got up from the floor, "You're a gay boy, Graze."

A look snapped right onto his face. Zesty, boiled, angered. "The fuck I am! If anything YOU'RE the gay one! Trying to pin ME down!"

"I'm not the one that got a hoof full of my big greasy balls."

[OOOOOOH! He's got you there fuckboy!]

*I do have to admit that is pretty gay, Graze. There are societal consequences to touching the groin of another stallion.*

~It's called a tactical advantage! Every stallion has a weakness and it's the balls! Besides, ever hear of MASTURBATION?! It's not gay then!~

{Why do I associate with any of you lot…?}

Graze snorted, "Well you're gayer!"

I snorted back, "No you're gayer!"

"No you!"

"No yoooooooou!"

"No, yoo-"

[HOLD IT!]

~Yeah, shut the fucking fuck up!~

{If we could settle this 'issue' without screeching like porch monkeys, I'd enjoy that very much.}

*Not the phrase I would use, but I agree with Joy.*

Graze and I hesitantly backed off. "So uh… how do we go about this?" He said.

[We should do something fun.]

*Rock, Paper, Scissors?*

~Boooooo! Don't be a damn square!~

Wait. I have an idea.

*Oh no.*

{I suggest we solve this with a more conventional method. We analyze all such homoerotisms and-}

"We should play gay chicken." Great job Lance, I knew I could count on me.

"..."

~...~

{...}

*...*

[What…? Shit! I mean-]

[...]

I looked around confused. Why is everyone looking at me like that? "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Graze looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel, "Lance… are you fucking serious? Gay chicken?"

"What about it?"

That seemed to have floored him, "...What about it? What about it!? The point was to prove who's gayer, not do even more gay shit!"

Is he stupid? It seemed pretty obvious, "Yeah, but by playing gay chicken we can find out who's gayer. The one that backs off last is the gay boy."

Graze turned to walk away with a laugh, "Alright then, I'm out. See you later, fag."

~Adios cocksuckers!~

I crossed my forelegs and grinned, "Okay. I see how it is then. You are a coward. A pussy."

[PUSS-AY!]

He stopped in his tracks. Got him

Graze turned his head back and glared, "Excuse me?"

{Leave it alone Graze. There is nothing to prove.}

I fanned my hooves out in a 'come at me bro' gesture, "Maybe the last one to back out is 'gay', I can accept that…"

Confusion splintered down his face, "Okay so-"

I pointed a hoof right at him, staring him dead in the eyes, "But to back out without even trying?! That makes you a pussy of the highest caliber! A failure of a stallion like you doesn't deserve Ditzy!"

"AGH!" Graze fell down to his knees, shock rattling though his body in a cold sweat.

I hit him where it hurts. His pride. The not gay kind.

~NOOOOOO!~

[Can't back out now, bitch! What would your marefriend think?!]

*I can't imagine she would be too happy with this.*

{she wouldn't, but when it comes to Graze's pride…*sigh*}

Graze stomped his hoof into the floor, shattering it, "Fuck…! Fine! I'll play this stupid little game and you'll be the king of pussies when it's over!"

*Oh dear, Dali won't be happy about that.*

~The sandy? Who cares bro? Just a chick.~

[Hey! She makes great pancakes, so lay off!]

~True that.~

Graze and I started to circle each other. Neither of us backing out, but neither getting closer. One step forward would bring humiliation closer, but one step back would cast shame for all eternity. There would be no winners, only two losers.

I stepped forward.

Graze stepped forward.

Like sharks circling an imaginary prey, we slowly drew closer. We went from yards to meters, from meters to feet, our eyes never leaving the other's.

I took another step forward, the smell of his breath becoming apparent.

He took a step forward, the nervous sweat on his brow now visible.

We both stopped mere inches away from each other, our snouts almost touching.

We waited.

And waited.

Neither of us could move any closer without our lips grazing the other. I've only ever been this close to Twilight before.

*Didn't you kiss Rainbow Dash? And what about the barn-*

'Shut it.' I snapped back.

[Get pwned, nerd.]

A light blush had dusted Graze's cheeks, "Gonna pussy out, fag?"

The chills in my spine had me nearly rattling, but I held on, "Nope. I'm not backing out."

He narrowed his eyes, "Neither am I."

"Good." I replied

"..."

"..."

~HEY BITCH BOY, QUIT STALLING AND START SMOOCHING!~

[Yeah quit being fucking buzzkills! Pussy out or get it going on already!]

{I want this over with. Now.}

*Someone might walk in on us if this goes on any longer.*

Don't think about it, just go in. Tilting forward the slightest bit, our lips made contact.

For two seconds.

Graze and I tore away from each other in disgust. I ran straight into the kitchen to wash my mouth in the sink.

[Oh no bro! Our street cred is ruined!]

*Bleh! I don't think he brushed his teeth.*

[He tasted like one of those fucking gym bro shakes! It'd be hot if it was Twilight, but with Graze it's not tha- NOT HOT! AT ALL!]

Once I finished washing the shame out of my mouth I walked back into the living room. Graze was retching on the floor, a puddle of vomit right next to him.

I mustered up as much mirth as I could, "Looks like I won, Graze."

He jumped right back up on his hooves, "What the fuck are you talking about?! We should be tied!"

I pointed right at the puke, "You took it worse than I did. Also, I made the first move, so that makes me the winner."

~That's fucking horseshit! Graze, we have to keep going!~

{Noooo! Just accept that you didn't win this moronic game and move on!}

[Yeah! Pussy out! We may be gay but at least we aren't a pussy faggot!]

*Break, you're not making any sense.*

[I'm making ALL the sense! Graze looks like a fucking mare anyway, so we can pretend that we didn't just cheat on our wife with another stallion.]

*HOW IS THAT BETTER?!*

Graze's face was a flat shade of red. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, I don't know, "You already kissed me! Where do we even go from that! Cause I do not want to go in for another!"

I scratched my chin, that was a good question, "Yeah… there's no point in kissing again, cause we know you'd lose."

He moved one of the rugs over the pile of vomit. Rude, "Fuck off, Lance. We could always go back to training if you keep bitching."

Err… no thanks. Now what's gayer than a kiss?

[Oh I know! Pick me!]

'What is it, Break?' I thought

[Sex!]

'Twilight isn't here.' I replied

[No! Sex with Graze! Measure up our dicks!]

*Now hold on, we don't need to jump into that. How about we start with something smaller, like stripping?*

~Lame ass pussy! I can feel your boner Graze so whip it out! Show this poser faggot a REAL dick!~

{ugh… fine. Since we are this far in you might as well put him in his place where it matters. He won't be able to sleep at night knowing we're bigger than him.}

Graze shook his head violently, "Come on! You got to be fucking joking! W-we already know I'm WAY bigger."

I sat down on the floor, "Since you're being such a pussy, I'll do it first."

'Break, do your thing.' I asked.

[On it, boss!]

Suddenly a warm spread through my face… and my groin. Standing fully erect was my erection, throbbing.

Graze nearly broke his neck trying to look away, "Dude what the FUCK?!"

[How's that for a cock?]

~Holy shit it's striped like a fucking candy cane!~

{It looks so unnatural…}

[It's as natural as the sun, baby! This was a God given shlong!]

*According to Twilight, red stripes are considered very desirable.*

~According to me, you're a fucking freak!~

I let out a heavy breath, "Your turn, Graze…"

He jumped back, almost snarling, "No! I'm not-"

[Pussy!]

He started backing up, "I won't-"

~Don't fucking shame us Graze! It's just a penis, you whip yours out all the time!~

He was shaking, "Come on…"

*It's perfectly fine to back out. No shame in being a coward.*

He stood, silent.

{If only you had backed out at the beginning, now everypony else wants you to strip in front of this manchild. We should just leave now Graze, Celestia would not-}

Graze erupted in a maelstrom of tribal black flames, an aura of pure rage, "FINE I'LL FUCKING DO IT!" He flexed his muscles and his clothes were consumed by the dark fire, leaving him buck naked.

Breathing heavily, he sat on his haunches,"T-there… I did it… Happy now…?"

I stared straight at his… area. It was…

[CHODE ALERT! We got a 5.5 on the dichtor scale! Oooooh!]

~Shut the fuck up! You're only beating us by like an inch at most!~

*Looks a bit more than an inch to me.*

{How shameful. Beaten by the halfbreed.}

~Must be the zebra in him.~

[Hell yeah BZC!]

Graze and I sat across from each other, both fully erect and flustered. Neither of us wanted to go further.

But we must.

I rattled my brain for an answer. Hmmn, that could work.

[Here we go.]

*Oh god. Why us?*

[Cause we ain't fucking cowards!]

I looked over to Graze, "I think we should… touch, or something…"

His eyes glazed over, "...Really? Celestia damn it…."

I tensed up, preparing for what was to come, "We gotta."

"..."

We started scooting closer together until we were in front of each other again. Our meat sabers hovered around each other, two snakes without a snake charmer.

Without a word, the tips touched, sending a jolt down my spine. For whatever reason, that felt really… good.

[Don't think like that Lance! Imagine it's Twilight's! Hold it together!]

~Your Twilight has a dick?! Bro?!~

*Ignore Break, he's coping hard.*

{If that's how he copes then I do not want to see what else your freakish brain can conjure up.}

Graze let out a grunt, "Bro…"

I could feel him throbbing against me. The heat radiated off of him brought me a comforting warmth. This experience was bringing things out of me I didn't know existed. It was too much to bear.

Maybe I hit my head earlier, but I kinda wanted to keep going. "...Graze."

He seemed to be in a similar state. He stared at me with half lidded eyes, face nearly as red as his mane, "Yeah…?"

I felt him twitch against me, giving me the courage to continue, "...Remember what Break said earlier? I think we should uh… try that. To show who's more of a stallion of course."

Graze must be as dazed as I was, cause the fight from earlier was nowhere to be seen, "Of course. Right. So… who does who…?"

[We're on top!]

~No we are!~

[This is your chance to win bro, receiving is way fucking gayer than giving!]

{I say we go on top. I want to retain as much dignity as I can with this foolish game. Graze will not be the bottom.}

*How about we decide with a coin flip? Let fate decide.*

Graze shot up, "Heads! Ha, got you!"

Shit. I was gonna choose heads, "Yeah yeah. Let me find a coin."

Looking through the various drawers I found one of Dali's foreigner coins, a Dinner, I think it was called, and flipped it.

*Wait. Do we know which side is heads?*

Just as it went up, it came back down and landed. It landed on its side, a side that was a… side.

Graze looked over at the coin, "What side is that?"

Before I could say anything, Break took over and spoke for me, "It's tails bro. Totally tails."

Graze narrowed his eyes, "Are you sure?"

[Don't fuck this up Lance.]

I see how it is, you little cheater, "Yeah man it's tails. Dali told me all about the dinner coins. It's from her homeland."

*They're called Dinars.*

[Don't care.]

Graze's eyes shrunk to pin pricks when he realized what that meant.

[Butt time!]

~Ah, Celestia damn it! This isn't what I wanted at all!~

{We finally agree on something.}

I somehow felt myself get even harder, I was way too excited for this, "Come on Graze, time to spread 'em. Unless you want to back out?"

He turned his head away and huffed, "Fucking… just get it over with."

He walked over to the couch and laid down, presenting his hindquarters

[Holy fucking shit that's a motherfucking bakery!]

*I'm getting excited. Twilight never lets us do anal… on her at least.*

[Gonna tear that ass up!]

~Bro, you're not sure you're the gays ones?! Thanks for the compliment though.~

[No problem bro.]

{I'm going to lose it.}

I stood there admiring everything. From the roundness of his flank to the wrinkles on his balls. I always thought this would gross me out, but something about Graze is driving me crazy. It's like his body is begging me to fuck him.

Graze turned his head to glare at me, but unintentionally wiggled his flank in a way that made me even hornier, "Stop looking and just fucking get it over with already!"

I chucked, ready to oblige, "If say so, Razor Gays."

Whatever it was he was about to say was stopped when he felt my member against his entrance, ready to penetrate.

*Um, don't we need lube?*

[Fuck that! We going in raw!]

{No no that is not proper sexual conduct. Lance, you need to-}

~Oh shit it's going in!~

Graze's puckered ring offered some resistance, but the slightest push revealed its hungry nature. The tip of my 7.5 inch footlong disappeared into his colon. What a heavenly feeling it was.

He let out a gasp as he felt me take away his anal virginity. It was his first time with another stallion, normally something that would send him frothing in rage, but from the way his penis spasmed and how his internals pulsated, he loved it. Graze was mine.

~Break, I gotta be honest with you… I'm getting such a sick hard on right now.~

[I'm one fat boner ahead of you man!]

*This feels way different than Twilight. It's a very pleasant feeling.*

{I'm gonna fucking lose it. I hate this.}

This was so hot. I had to go deeper, "Ready for some more? Want me to pound the shit out of you?"

Graze softly nodded, as if he couldn't trust his voice. That was all I needed.

I rammed all of my length into his ass. I felt piddling resistance, like it was as my dick was made to claim Graze's hole, the perfect key. The insides of his intestines radiated such a heat that it felt almost uncomfortable, but it was at the perfect level that melted all the stress out of my muscles. The bumps and waves of his colon swayed in a harmonic rhythm that I almost came right there.

On the other end of the pleasure spectrum, Grace let out a loud moan, before he snapped his snout just. But it was too late, He already revealed he loves taking it like a mare.

~HOLY FUCK! GRAZE'S MOANING LIKE A FAG, LIKE A FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!~

[HOLY FUCKING CHRIST! DICKED, DICKED YO WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING SLUT!]

*Oh my goodness! Who would've known that the guy that wears skin tight black pants was so gay?*

{...}

I left it at full hilt so he could adjust to my length, but with the ease it went in I don't think that'll take long, "It just slid right in Graze. Are you sure you haven't gotten experimental before?"

He sputtered, "No you fag, you just have a skinny dick! I can barely feel it!."

To challenge that, I slowly withdrew my member, making sure it rubbed against all the right areas on the way back. Graze tried to hold it in, but he let out another moan, "Are you sure about that? You sure sound like you can feel it."

He growled at that, "Why are you taking your sweet time?! Just cum and go already!"

I slowly started moving my hips back and forth in a rhythm, making Graze go back to holding his snout shut, "Don't worry Graze, I'm going to fill you to the brim. Prove who's the real faggot."

"You're the real faggot!" He shouted in a half moan.

[Since we're on the topic, I can scientifically prove that this isn't that gay.]

*Not this again, Break.*

~Nah nah tell me, I want to know how the fuck this isn't gay. Fucking surprise me!~

{Yes, Break, enlighten us. Tell me how Graze being sodomized isn't homoerotic.}

[It's called my patented Third Ball Theory.]

{And I'm already left disappointed.}

~Three balls? Bro you don't have ANY balls! You got your nuts splattered by Greg!~

[I FUCKING know that, but this applies to more than just us! It applies to every stallion!]

*Break has been very vocal about his 'discovery'.*

[Okay okay, so you guys know about all that third eye bullshit? Magic faggotry and all that?]

~Yeah some of the nerds at school talk about it, really pisses me off.~

{I am vaguely familiar with the idea.}

[Alright alright, listen to this, and hear me out. What if… the prostate was ACTUALLY the third testicle.]

{What udder asinine-}

~Break, you stupid clown, you're a fucking genius!~

[I fucking know right?! By stimulating the prostate, we're actually enlightening ourselves! It brings us closer to God!]

{If anything this incident has proved to me that there is no God.}

*We've met him a couple times before, he's a really nice fellow.*

I kept pumping into Graze, the pressure in my groin growing steadily, ready to burst. For one last tease, I stopped right before I hit the edge.

Graze has noticed, as his symphony of moaning had drawn flat, only for a flustered rage to overtake him, "Why the fuck did you stop?! Don't tell me you're stopping now?! Faggot!"

Oh he wants it badly, "Beg for it."

I'm wasn't sure if it was possible for anypony's face to get that red, but he sure proved me wrong, "Fucking. What?!"

I moved my dick just the slightest bit, too slow to bring true pleasure, but just enough for him to want more, "If I came in a guy's ass, that would make me gay, no doubt about that. You would be proven to be the straighter stallion, but I won't let it happen that easily. I want you to earn that victory. Tell me you want my cream filling."

[Bruuuhhhh! Get topped!]

~You can't be fucking serious! Graze close your sphincter and guillotine his dick off!~

[Haha, Graze is way too loose for that now, faggot!]

{One more day. One more day here and I can forget this ever happened when we go back to our dimension.}

Graze glared right back into me, but it lacked its usual heat, "Cmm..n.. e…"

I spanked him, startling him, "What was that? Speak up."

[Smack that ass bitch! I want those cheeks burning brighter than the fucking sun!]

*Anypony find it odd that Graze's ass was completely empty? Not even a skidmark.*

~Bro, shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear about any of your doo doo nonsense! Fuck off scat boy!~

[Real gross, Dawn.]

*I was just asking a question!*

Graze spoke up again, a little louder this time, "...Dude, just cum in me already. Stop playing around."

Not quite what I wanted. Let's try something else. I reached my hoof around him and grabbed his stallionhood, it already lathered up in precum. He started shivering at the touch as I slowly jerked him off, "One more time, for me?"

Something in Graze clicked, cause he went from being putty under my hooves to a raging bull. He slammed his ass all the way down my shaft, catching me off guard. The motion carried over as I was flung down to the floor, shaft still buried deep within Graze. Showing a side of him I've never seen before, he bounced all over my cock. His own member flinging precum everywhere as it wagged through the air.

A lustful look had replaced the shame from earlier, he was all in, "How that for a fucking answer?! Give me your cum already! Put it in my ass!"

[Oh my God, Graze is a full on slut! This is making me really fucking hard.]

~Y-yeah I feel you there bro, I can feel my cum bubbling to the brim. If I had pants they'd be ruined.~

*I'm glad Graze has accepted this part of himself.*

{I am not. Thanks to your filthy degenerate freak of nature, Graze has turned into a faggot, a cocksucker if you will. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH REPROGRAMMING I WILL HAVE TO DO?!}

~We're gonna keep this to fuck with him later right?~

{Oh certainly.}

The assault of Graze's insides on my outsides put me in a tenuous spot. The pressure from earlier came back in full force. I couldn't hold on anymore, "G-graze, I'm gonna…!"

Sensing that I was at my limit, he started to go even faster, "Gonna cum already? Fucking weaksauce. Whatever bro, pump me full, like the gaytard you are!"

[He's gonna blow!]

Right as I peaked, Graze slammed down to the base of my stallionhood. Cum had erupted from my cock, flooding his ass womb with my baby batter. The muscles of his ass pulsed in unison as if to milk as much as he could from me. At that moment Graze and I felt as if we were one.

~BRO YOU CAME THAT MAKES YOU GAY!~

[Hey retard! You don't bounce on a dick like that unless you were a fag yourself!]

*I'm shameful to admit this, but that felt better than Twilight.*

{At least this is over.}

Graze and I remained there, panting heavily. All the energy in me had been sucked out, "he… I guess you win. You're less gay than I am…"

Suddenly he stood up, my half flaccid cock popping out of his ass, unsealing the liquid inside. Cum dripped down his legs, but he was still as hard as before, "I'm not done yet."

What did he mean by that? "Dude, you won. You're not a coward and you're not gay, what more do you want?"

Suddenly, he lifted up my legs, leaving my own ass exposed to the air. I didn't have the strength to move, "I didn't fucking cum yet! Your ass is mine!"

~How the turntables, bitch!~

{It's only fair to expose you to the same shame as you did us.}

[Fuck! This is just like the barn again!]

*I'm going to miss sitting.*

Graze's already rock hard member suddenly became even harder, "It's time to go full Killjoy."

~Oh boy I'm so giddy!~

{Ready on your command.}

Black veins suddenly spread across his stallionhood, enlarging it by another few inches. It glowed in a blindingly white darkness.

[Oh fuck it's a BBC!]

*We're boned…*

~Literally! Ha ha!~

"PREPARE FOR THE NECROFLARE COCK!" Without another moment's notice he hilted all the way inside me, his cock disappearing in my depths.

An almost indescribable feeling washed over me, both pain and pleasure overwhelming my senses. Unlike my earlier rhythms, Graze's were completely chaotic and rough, pure primal instinct.

[Ah! The memories!]

Everytime he jabbed against my prostate, an almost electric feeling tingled through my body. My moans were drowned out as Graze's passion became my world. This single ordeal makes all past incidents with horses feel negligible.

With no warning of any kind, Graze's lips slammed into mine. In a complete contrast to earlier, this kiss was long and drawn out. His tongue was begging to enter mine. In the heat of the moment I obliged.

~Bro you can't make out that's gay! That makes you a fag! We were winning!~

{And we've lost him again.}

[Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!]

*I really hope no one else finds out about this. We could get in a lot of trouble.*

~Yeah I bet Twilight will be really fucking pissed! Oh shit, Ditzy!~

[Trust me, Twilight would be BEYOND nuke level rage, but there's another issue.]

{What would be worse than a wrathful mare?}

*Prince Frederic recently passed laws against Stallion on Stallion love. We could be imprisoned for several years and have our child taken away from us when he's born.*

~Holy shit.~

{You think you know a pony.}

*I-I'm sure he means well, just a bit misguided. He's always talking about how he's working for the greater good.*

[Y-Yeah! Frederic is like a brother to us! We know him better than anypony else! He wouldn't hurt a fly!]

~Sounds like propaganda to me.~

As Graze pounded away at me, I could feel him pulsing inside of me. He was close to the edge already. Two pump chump much?

He pulled his lips away from mine, giving me a chance to breathe. He then lower himself next to my ear, "Ready for cumtown, fag clown?"

I didn't get a chance to answer as he hilted himself as far into me as he could, warmth shooting into my bowels. Enter the cum dungeon, player character: Graze's cock.

It felt like an eternity, but the flow slowed down. Pulses turned into shivers, then nothing. We lied down on the floor next to each other, both of us exhausted and covered in sweat.

Graze looked me in the eye and smiled, "How about a draw, huh?"

Before I could do anything, somepony knocked at the door.

YVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVY

"...Then Ditzy came over and found you two all huddled up and covered in cummy goodness! Fortunately for you two she was pretty understanding of the situation and the story goes on as it did in the original! So! How did you like my interpretation of events! There was NO way you two just played four 'intense' hours of Battleship! It's not even close to realistic! Plus the two of you had such a cute chemistry that I had to write it down and host it on the LTD fansite, where it got soaring reviews! AHEM! Anyways, what did you think? Was it good? Did you like the lore details I snuck in there? Did ya, Mr. Greenfield?" The crazy mare said as she finally stopped yammering after several hours of her story.

"What…" I said, in complete shock

*...The…*

[...FUCK?!]

I was not ready for any of this. When the young mare in front of me, Babel Yarn, had asked if she could have an interview with me regarding the contents of my book, I foolishly accepted. I thought it would be a cute little interview about a few of the plotholes my messy writing had left in there. But no, it was not like that at all. She had spent several hours reading off smut regarding me and my friends as I sat there too utterly astounded to stop her.

[Finally it's over! Oh my God! I can never think about that douche again without this fucking story jumpscaring me!]

*It was… certainly creative…*

[Makes me want to bleach my fucking brain!]

Babel sat there excitedly for my response, that goofy grin never leaving her face. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but…

[Fuck her feelings! What about this fucking headache I'm struggling with?! Like her depiction of me felt so out of character!]

*If anything that's what she got spot on, among other details…*

[I still don't know why she knew what our dick looked like!]

Better make this quick, "Well there are a few details that were off…"

She gasped and started violently flipping through her notebook, "What did I get wrong?! Ooo! Tell me so I can correct this! I want it to be as lore accurate as possible! A true dreamer never neglects lore!"

I shook my head, "No! No, no, no… It's the whole story. I have not had sex with Razor Graze at any point in time."

Babel deflated a bit, "Oh drat! I really thought I was onto something…" She suddenly brought out a walkie talkie and turned it on, "Dreamers, I am sorry to announce that theory 'Grazorkon' is a bust." What sounded like several voices in despair emanated from the device, before she flipped it back off.

I tried to smile through the pain, "Contents aside, your writing ability isn't too bad. You have some real talent there. Way better than I was at your age."

[It fucking sucked!]

*Be nice, Break.*

Even if they were covered up by those thick glasses, I was still nearly blinded by the sparkles in her eyes, "REALLY?! Oh gosh I never thought my writing would be praised by one of the main characters of LTD! Here! I got TONS of other fan theories you can correct for me!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, the mare had pulled an entire pile of paper, along with several cork boards covered in all kinds of incriminating photos.

[No! You fucked us Lance! Now she'll never leave!]

*Maybe being nice wasn't the right answer this time…*

[You FUCKING think?!]

As the fangirl babbled about her next story, I resigned myself to my fate. One last thought passed through my mind as my eyes glazed over.

'At least it won't all be smut… I hope.'