A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Psalms 18:24)

Lovino made it a point to take the long way home. He took random paths and wandered down unfamiliar streets for at least half an hour before he ended up at his front door, nearly twenty minutes longer than it usually took him to get back from the café. During his little adventure, he tried to forget about the conversation he'd had with Antonio. He was absolutely not expecting to talk to him that day, and he would have never guessed he would ever talk to him about anything that heavy. He was grateful that there was still a bit over five days left until Sunday. He didn't know how he would face him again after all of that.

He unlocked the front door to the house and stepped inside. The second he did so; he was assaulted by Feliciano's voice. "…Yeah! Wow, I can't believe I never noticed we went to the same school! I thought I would notice you, since you're so big and everything, not that it's bad that you're big! Oh, by big I mean tall and strong looking! I'm not calling you fat!"

Lovino exhaled like he'd been holding his breath. He was more than likely talking to that overgrown German kid, and he sounded like his normal self. Still, Antonio's words bored into his brain like a jackhammer. Ask him what he's afraid of, and do not brush those fears off.

The thought drifted past Lovino and he almost instantly got angry. How dare he? How dare that idiot Spaniard put those thoughts in his head and make him worry unnecessarily about his brother? How dare he tell him all those things about himself; did he want to make them Lovino's problems too? No, because he wasn't going to allow them to become his problems. He just wasn't.

Feliciano was still talking. Lovino wondered if Ludwig was able to get a word in edgewise. "…Oh, Ludwig, can we hang out soon? Oh, oh, I know! You can come over Sunday morning and then we can go to-" There was an abrupt, long pause. "Yes…church. We can go there together. I forgot the word for a minute!" Feliciano laughed in that uneasy, unnatural way.

Lovino's angry judgments about what Antonio had said were cut short. Upon hearing that laugh again, what he said suddenly felt warranted. He clenched his jaw as tightly as he could and refused to admit that Antonio had been right all along. Besides, he had other things to deal with now. Namely, he had to deal with that bouncing little brunette in the other room whose tone was changing at an incredibly concerning rate.

"Feliciano?" Lovino called out in no direction in particular. "Can you call your friend back? I need to talk to you."

"Oh! I didn't know you were home! I- yeah, I have to go. Sorry, Ludwig! I'll call you back later, bye! –Ok, I'm coming!"

Lovino had to smile at Feliciano's rambling sentences. What he said never followed one train of thought and often didn't make a whole lot of sense, but the way he spoke had a certain charm to it. Feliciano burst into the room in one flurried motion and only further proved his musings.

"Lovi, you're home, I was starting to get worried you wouldn't be home for dinner! I hate when we're not all together for dinner, don't you?" His eyes flew open. "Oh, wait. Am I in trouble? Did I do something?"

Lovino shook his head as his smile fell. "No. You aren't in trouble. Why don't we sit down?"

Feliciano drummed his fingers together nervously. "O-Oh. Okay."

Lovino sat down at the kitchen table and Feliciano followed soon after. He looked at him with un-accusing eyes to let him know that he hadn't done anything wrong. It was hard to explain, but it seemed like Feliciano had the smallest bit of guilt etched into his eyes since Sunday. Lovino broke out of the eye contact they held and convinced himself that he was letting his imagination run wild again.

Lovino forced a slight grin. "I just want to talk, Feli. Don't look so nervous."

His response was too quick. "I'm not nervous!"

"Yes you are. You look about ready to explode out of your chair." Lovino said, eyeing the odd way Feliciano seemed to fidget. It was almost as if he were vibrating.

Feliciano looked at his shoes with the eyes of a scolded puppy. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just kind of tired because I didn't get much sleep last night…" He trailed off and seemed to become mesmerized by the swinging of his legs.

Lovino, who quickly realized he wasn't going about his the right way, placed his hand on Feliciano's shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, don't worry about it." Feliciano finally looked back up at him, seeming just slightly more relaxed. Lovino withdrew his hand. He needed to be as gentle as possible or he'd lose him again. "Speaking of last night, I know you had a nightmare. Did you want to talk about it?"

Feliciano's expression shifted from uncertain to downright confused. "Are you sick, Lovino? You never ask if I want to talk about things. You usually just tell me to stop bugging you."

Taken aback by the innocent-sounding comment, Lovino let the guilt he instantly felt contort his face into a pained expression. He almost objected, but didn't. He knew it was true. "Well, I'm asking you now." He said.

Feliciano nodded weakly. "Before I went to bed I was reading something online."

Lovino blinked, slightly confused by the random comment. "Alright. What were you reading?" He asked.

"It was a website called 'Catholic Answers' or something," said Feliciano. Lovino felt the corner of his mouth twitch. This could not end well. He nodded, willing his brother to continue. "And I was reading all the stuff on it, and being Catholic is actually really complicated, Lovi! There are all these rules you have to follow and there are two different kind of sin, one is called mortal and the other starts with a 'v,' and if you commit one of the mortal ones you have to go to confession right away because if you die before you do you'll go to hell."

Lovino swore that he wasn't hearing Feliciano anymore. Instead, he was hearing the exact same things he thought years ago. Not only that, but it was as if he was hearing Antonio's exact words as well. He knew these extremist, guilt-inducing websites all too well. Regardless, he decided to play dumb and keep asking questions. "What kind of things do they consider mortal, Feli?"

Feliciano tilted his head and widened his eyes. "Oh, lots of things! Even little things like missing a mass on Sunday or even thinking bad things. Oh, and if you take communion after you do one of those things and don't go to confession first, it's like, a double mortal sin! I didn't even know that was possible, did you?"

Lovino did know. He stared dumbly back at Feliciano as he recited these so-called facts like someone was feeding the words to him. He tried desperately to not recreate the incapacitating feeling in his own mind. In the end, he could think of only one thing to say back. "Feliciano, I want you to stay off of these websites. Do you understand?"

"But, Lovino! I have to know what not to do or else I might-" Feliciano stopped talking mid-sentence and hung his head. "Or else I might forget and go to hell."

This wasn't happening. It already happened to Lovino, it happened to Antonio, why did it need to happen to Feliciano? If there was really a God, Lovino was convinced he was a cruel one. He shook his head and grabbed Feliciano by the shoulders.

"Listen to me, Feliciano." He said. "People can put whatever crap they want on the Internet. These things you're reading aren't true. God is not going to punish you for something so stupid. Please, just stay off of these websites, alright? You'll feel better if you do. I promise."

Feliciano nodded. "Okay, I will. Thanks for listening, Lovi!" Without warning he threw his arms around Lovino, who nodded and patted his shoulder three times before they let go. His smile was back, and Lovino felt like someone had lifted a two hundred pound weight off his chest.

It seemed as if a light bulb went off in Feliciano's head. "Oh, yeah! Can Ludwig come over before church on Sunday?"

Lovino chuckled and the tension around them was instantly demolished. "I don't really have much control over that, Feli. Why don't you ask Grandpa?" He looked around the room and realized Roma was nowhere in sight. "Where is he, anyway?"

Feliciano shrugged. "I think he went to see one of his friends. He told me where he was going but I wasn't paying attention."

Lovino sighed. It couldn't be helped, he supposed. "Of course." He muttered.

"Lovino?" Feliciano said out of the blue.

"Yes?"

"Where were you all this time? School let out a really long time ago. Grandpa was kind of annoyed because you left your phone here and you weren't coming back."

Lovino felt his breath catch in his throat. He wasn't sure which was worse- that he had upset his grandfather again, or that he would have to admit he was with Antonio. The memory of the conversation came flooding back to him like a broken dam and his stomach flipped over on itself.

"I got coffee." He said flatly.

Confusion was evident in Feliciano's face. "How long does it take to get coffee? You were gone for at least two hours, Lovi." His tone wasn't accusatory, just puzzled.

Lovino sighed. He would never hear the end of it if he told him, but Feliciano wouldn't stop the questions until he got an explanation that satisfied him. "When I was in the café, I ran into Antonio. We talked. Alright?"

Feliciano's face lit up in an instant. "Oh, wow! That's so great! I wish I ran into Ludwig in random places, that would be so much fun! What did you guys talk about?"

That question was far too difficult to answer. Lovino saw his chance to change the subject and pounced on it. "You keep talking about this Ludwig, Feliciano. Tell me, do you ever let the kid speak or does he just listen to your babbling?"

Feliciano perked up at the very mention of his name, but for a brief moment his eyes held a tiny twinge of…something else. Lovino cursed his damn imagination again. "Actually, that's what's so great about Ludwig! He listens to me and he doesn't think I talk too much, but when he does say something it's really well thought out."

Lovino folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? Like what?"

Feliciano pondered this for a moment. "We were talking about the sermon after group yesterday. He said it was a shame that some people hate other people's love so much just because they don't understand it. He said they're probably afraid of it because it doesn't make sense to them."

No matter how wary Lovino was about this kid- he looked like he could rip Feliciano in two accidentally, for God's sakes- he couldn't stop himself from agreeing with what he said. Maybe Ludwig did have a functioning brain after all. Lovino was starting to think he was nothing more than a really good listener and a possible mute. The subject of this quote sent Lovino's unruly mind straight back to Antonio's confession about himself and he suddenly felt like he was drowning.

He closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I mean, that sounds about right, I guess…" He pushed Antonio out of his mind with the mental force of a bulldozer. "Be careful around this German kid, Feliciano."

Feliciano frowned. "Why?"

"I don't know! Just be careful." Lovino wasn't entirely sure what he was saying. He was only talking for the sake of talking, for the sake of focusing his mind on something else. He uncrossed his arms and huffed. There was no need to pull Feliciano into his own confusion. "Look, never mind. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

His smile returned. Feliciano never seemed to frown for long. "Okay! I don't think I need to be, but I'll be careful anyways. Grandpa always says you can never be too careful!"

He did say that rather often. Lovino made a mental note to take that advice to heart that following Sunday. He quickly made another mental note to stop thinking about next Sunday. "Good." Lovino realized they both needed a distraction. "How about a movie, Feli?"

Feliciano nodded eagerly and pranced into the living room to choose a DVD. Lovino followed all while trying to silence the machine gun firing of the same four syllables chirping relentlessly in his head. Antonio. Antonio. Antonio…

.

The week passed far too quickly for Lovino's liking. It passed in a muck of grey, of uninteresting classes and dull conversation. Feliciano seemed to be more or less okay, Lovino only catching him in the occasional concentrated daze that he soon broke out of. He spent more time on the phone than not, talking to Ludwig in a voice that ranged from giddy to unpleasantly serious. Lovino tried to suppress his jealousy, telling himself that he didn't care that his brother seemed to confide more in this practical stranger than him, his own brother.

Lovino found himself wandering around town more often than he usually did. He found himself sitting in that same coffee shop, sitting at that same table and staring out of that same window and staying there for far longer than he needed to. His chest tightened at every glance at the dark hair or green eyes of strangers and every lilting sound of what could be a Spanish accent. He was hit with a nauseating wave of disappointment that he refused to acknowledge when he realized that these were in fact, nothing more than strangers.

Before he even realized it, it was Sunday morning. Lovino was sitting next to Feliciano on the sofa, which kept moving due to Feliciano's incessant bouncing. "Jesus, Feliciano. Will you calm down?" He said.

"I can't help it! I'm so excited Ludwig is coming! He should be here any minute, oh no, what if he doesn't show up?" said Feliciano in one spastic breath.

Grandpa Roma's laughter could be heard from the kitchen. "Relax, little one. I'm sure he wouldn't be foolish enough to stand you up."

Of course he wouldn't be, thought Lovino. Everyone and their mother were absolutely in love with sweet little Feli. It seemed as though there was always someone just dying to see him. Lovino checked the clock impatiently. It was only one in the afternoon, four hours before they needed to be at church. It took every ounce of willpower he had to not count the seconds.

The doorbell rang and Feliciano shot up from his seat like it was spring loaded. He made a beeline for the door, running faster than Lovino had ever seen him move. While it was true Feliciano had a lot of friends in and out of their house, Lovino had never seen him quite this excited. Just moments later after a series of frenzied greetings, Feliciano reemerged into the room with Ludwig not far behind.

"Grandpa! Come meet Ludwig!" He called out towards the kitchen. "Oh, Ludwig, aren't you excited to meet Grandpa?"

Ludwig nodded. "Yes." His voice was flat and void of emotion. Lovino studied his face. He looked as though he was fighting to keep a straight face, but his will to do so was falling under his nerves. He wondered what he would have to be nervous about.

Grandpa Roma emerged from the kitchen with a smile on his face. He walked over to Ludwig and grasped his hand. "Ludwig! I have heard wonderful things. It's so nice to finally be meeting you."

Ludwig shook his hand. "Yes sir. It is great to meet you too."

Roma laughed. "How polite! No need to call me sir, it makes me feel far too old. Please, call me Roma."

He already loved him. Lovino wasn't surprised. He waved to Ludwig halfheartedly before retreating to his room. He was certain that neither his Grandfather nor Feliciano noticed. He stood by his closed door for a moment and listened to the excited chatter that lay on the other side. Without warning, he started to wonder what Roma would think of Antonio. They seemed as though they would get along, they did have a somewhat similar sense of humor- wait, why did it matter?

Lovino slumped against the door and sighed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a little voice told him that it did matter. It told him Antonio was in his life to stay. That must be the case, why else did Lovino keep running into him? Why else would the world burst into color and suddenly become more interesting whenever he was around? The second he thought such a thing, another intrusive thought immediately told him the opposite: Antonio would not be interested in being around him for much longer. Soon he would find someone else to focus on, someone less grumpy who had more interesting things to say.

Lovino wasn't sure which possibility terrified him more.

.

Hours passed by as Lovino stared into space, hearing but not really understanding the conversation that rose in fell in his living room. During this time he checked the clock nearly every minute. The anticipation was excruciating. Sooner or later he would have to face Antonio, to act like he didn't know of nearly every dark secret he held behind those sparkling eyes. On top of that, he would need to look him in those eyes and tell himself he didn't want to be around him even though every fiber of his being screamed something else entirely.

Finally, five o'clock rolled around. Lovino stood up and walked into the living room. "Feliciano, it's time to go. Get your friend."

"Alright."

Lovino only looked up when he heard the voice that wasn't Feliciano's. His eyes met Ludwig's, who was sitting rather rigidly on the couch. For a split second, Lovino wondered where Feliciano was. Then his eyes wandered just a touch lower. Feliciano was fast asleep with his head on Ludwig's lap.

Lovino blinked. "He just fell asleep like that?"

Ludwig smiled just slightly as he looked down at him. He nodded wordlessly in response and gently nudged Feliciano's shoulder. "It's time to go, Feli."

Feliciano's eyes blinked open. "Luddy…" He whispered in his sleepy haze. With his eyes only partially open, he sat up just enough to wrap his arms around Ludwig's torso. "Morning…" He nuzzled his head into his chest as he said the word in a sigh.

Lovino could only stare at him with a dumb, staggered expression. Feliciano was known for being affectionate, sure, but this was…different, somehow. Just different. "Feliciano?" He couldn't stop his bewilderment from getting the best of him. "Feliciano, what the hell are you doing?"

Feliciano snapped back into awareness. His eyes flew open and in an instant he was sitting upright with his hands gripping his knees, his grogginess forgotten. "I fell asleep! I must have gotten too excited before Ludwig came over."

Then he laughed. Lovino knew that laugh.

He nodded anyway. "Okay…" He said slowly. "Whatever. Let's just go."

Feliciano stood up. "You've never been so eager to get to church, Lovi! Is it because you miss Antonio? If you do you can just bring him here!"

Lovino thought of Antonio being in his house, filling it with his sporadic laughter and boundless energy. He felt a twinge of an emotion he could not explain when he considered the notion. No, that would never happen. Part of him still believed he didn't want it to. "Can we please just leave?"

.

Antonio was easier to spot in the crowded church lobby than a red flower in a patch of weeds. He wasn't particularly tall and his clothing didn't scream 'look at me,' but Lovino still managed to find him mere seconds after walking inside. He blamed it on the sound of his laughter that seemed to rise above every other sound in the room. Antonio was likely speaking with someone else; Lovino didn't expect him to even notice he had walked in-

"Lovino! There you are!"

Lovino looked up and saw that Antonio was rushing towards him with that ridiculous grin on his face. He looked around himself and realized that of course, Ludwig and Feliciano had managed to disappear. He sighed. How did this always happen? By the time he looked up Antonio was next to him. He opened his arms hesitantly and Lovino realized he was expecting another hug.

He narrowed his eyes. "No."

Antonio only chuckled in amusement and dropped his arms.

Lovino had said the word with as much conviction as he could muster, but in reality he was fighting the urge to just let him hug him. Each time he did, it seemed to unearth a new and powerful emotion he didn't know existed inside of him- No. Lovino couldn't afford to have any more new emotions. He was already overcome with nausea when he glanced at Antonio's left sleeve and was reminded of what lied beneath it. He crossed his arms over his chest as if that would somehow prevent him from giving into the ridiculous desire he felt.

"How are you, Lovino?" Antonio asked. In an instant, his smile disappeared. "I hope I didn't cross a line the other day."

Lovino dismissed his comment with a flippant wave of the hand. "Forget it. It happened and it's done." He attempted to make his voice sound as nonchalant as possible. If he couldn't convince himself that the conversation didn't matter, that it didn't change anything, he could still damn well try and convince Antonio.

Antonio sighed like he wasn't convinced, but he smiled again anyways. The minute he did his eyes flashed with excitement. "I have an idea, Lovino."

Lovino suddenly realized that Antonio seemed to say his name more often than anyone else, like he enjoyed hearing himself say it. He quickly let the thought pass as his curiosity took over. "Yeah? And what would that be?" His voice brimmed with irritability, but it was only a mask to hide his racing thoughts as to what this 'idea' could be. Knowing Antonio, it could be just about anything.

Antonio smiled mischievously. "Let's skip the sermon."

Lovino scoffed. "Seriously? Aren't you a little old to be playing hooky? You really are a terrible influence, a group leader telling teenagers to skip church, I mean, really!"

Antonio tilted his head in amusement. "Do you not want to?"

Lovino realized that yes, yes he did. A far more shocking realization hit him like a brick- he wanted to be with Antonio when he did so. He wanted to be with someone that actually cared about what he had to say. "Fine. Being around you would probably be better than listening to that guy, I guess." No, it would be infinitely better, most definitely.

Antonio looked around and saw that people were beginning to file into the main church. "Great, let's go!" He sounded so excited, like he had been waiting to do this his entire life. He grabbed Lovino's wrist and started to lead him away from the crowds. Lovino swore he spontaneously contracted a fever the moment he touched him. There was no other way his skin would get so warm.

He thought they would just go to the room before Antonio led him past it. "Where are we going?" asked Lovino. "Can't we just go to the room?"

Antonio laughed quietly. "Well, no, then the rest of our group would get there and realize that we weren't in church. That wouldn't reflect well on my job here."

Lovino realized his first question had never been answered, so he sighed and repeated himself. "Where are we going?"

"Lovi, it looks like patience is a skill I'm going to have to teach you."

Lovino resigned to the fact that he wasn't getting an answer. "You seem like the type of person that got in a lot of trouble in school." He said. Antonio did seem pretty used to skipping out on things he probably should be doing.

Antonio laughed. "Like you wouldn't believe. When I was your age, Francis, Gilbert and I managed to fill the principal's office with packing peanuts. In college, we painted the football field blue."

Lovino's eyes widened. Never in a million years would he have the courage to do something like that. "You're kidding."

Antonio simply shrugged, like it was no big deal. "Surely you've done something similar."

Lovino didn't respond. He hadn't done anything close to that, and he suddenly felt boring. Without saying another word he allowed Antonio to lead him up two flights of stairs and down one of the few narrow hallways that made up the third level. Antonio fished a master key out of his pocket and opened the door. What lied before them was something that looked like a storage room.

Lovino stared into the open door blankly. "Out of all places, you bring me here?" He said. "That's pretty damn creepy. What are you going to do, murder me?"

Antonio chuckled. "Now, now. No one really goes up here. As you can see it is used mostly for storage. That is the only reason I chose it." He paused. When he continued, his tone was softer. "I would never do a thing to harm you, Lovino."

Lovino felt his heart leap in his chest as Antonio's words sunk in. He hadn't expected such a serious response to such a sarcastic question. When Antonio shut the door behind them, he became shockingly aware that he was doing something that could get both of them in a lot of trouble. Not only that, but he was doing it with Antonio. Why did he agree to this again, and why was his skin buzzing with adrenaline?

"Come on, Lovi. Why don't you sit with me?"

Lovino hadn't even noticed he moved. He looked up from the ground and realized Antonio was sitting on an ancient looking sofa among piles of boxes like it was deliberately put there for them. He nodded curtly and walked over to him. The minute Lovino sat down on the dusty old couch he realized how small the thing actually was. It was really more of a loveseat than anything- oh, goddammit.

There was a long and only slightly uncomfortable silence before Lovino finally spoke. "What else did you do in high school?" He was genuinely curious.

A smirk spread across Antonio's face. "Should I really be giving you ideas?" He laughed. "High school was crazy. Probably a little too crazy."

Lovino's curiosity grew. "What happened?"

"Lots of things," said Antonio. "Drinking, smoking, pranks, girls…" he paused, then shrugged. "Boys." Lovino felt his throat tighten. He was grateful when Antonio continued to talk. "Francis, Gilbert and I made quite a team. Although, I suppose the highlight was our senior prank…" he trailed off and smiled slyly.

"What did you do?" Lovino said. His mind raced with possibilities.

Antonio paused for a long moment. "You cannot tell a soul."

Lovino nodded a bit too eagerly for his own liking.

"Alright." Antonio paused and another laugh escaped his throat. "I have family members who are farmers. I got ahold of three pigs." Lovino already knew this wouldn't end well. "So, we decided we would let them loose in the school." His eyes took on a look of mischief. "Here's the thing. We put labels on them that read one, two and four."

It took a minute for it to register. Once it did, Lovino's eyes shot open. "They kept looking for the third pig." He stated, still in partial disbelief.

Antonio nodded, looking rather pleased with himself. "You would not believe it. The faculty spent hours looking for that damned pig! We were never caught, but I believe everyone knew it was us."

Lovino couldn't fight the smile that spread across his lips. He pressed his fist to his mouth and tried to suppress a giggle. "You are absolutely insane." He said.

Antonio paused, looking like he was holding back a fit of laughter. "And you would not believe what we called ourselves."

Lovino rolled his eyes, but the couldn't force himself to frown. "Oh, no. What?"

Antonio sighed, a light blush dusting his cheeks. Lovino almost blushed himself. Antonio clapped his hands together as if to say 'screw it.' "The bad touch trio." He said.

Lovino couldn't hold it back any longer. He laughed like he hadn't in months. "The bad touch trio?" He was barely able to repeat the ridiculous alias. "You're kidding me! Why in the hell would you willingly go by something like that? My God, that has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

Antonio's face really was red now. "It was Francis's idea." He said almost sheepishly. "We called ourselves that because we got around a lot." He paused and shook his head. "No. I'm giving myself too much credit. Francis and Gil were the ones that got around. I was more or less their celibate, closeted and slightly scared Christian sidekick."

Lovino's laughter died down. He started speaking before his mind could catch up with his mouth. "Oh. So you've never-" As soon as he realized his question, Lovino snapped his mouth shut and felt his face grow hot. What kind of question was that? Hopefully Antonio hadn't heard.

Antonio's eyebrows shot upward. He'd heard, alright. "Getting personal, aren't we?" He chuckled and Lovino's blush deepened. "But no. Francis would get into bed with anyone willing, regardless of gender. Gilbert had his fair share himself. I don't condemn their choices, but I would prefer to wait for someone I truly love." He shrugged. "Even if I thought differently, my biggest relationship in high school was with my illness. I was still in complete denial over who I was attracted to."

Lovino was so humiliated he could barely move. He knew that feeling all too well… No, stop! He was in desperate need of a subject change. In his desperation his eyes drifted to Antonio and he noticed his left sleeve was just slightly pushed up. He made the connection between what Antonio had said and what he was looking at, and his humiliation turned to nausea.

What he needed to do was take his eyes off of that scar, pull some trivial small talk out of thin air… "Antonio, do you still get…urges? To hurt yourself?" …He had needed to say anything but that. The terrible question passed Lovino's lips before he realized it and Antonio's smile instantly dissipated. Lovino was sure he had ruined everything. Stupid, stupid, stupid… "S-Sorry, I-"

Antonio's eyes fell to his arm and he quickly yanked down the fabric of the sleeve. He put his other hand out in front of him. "No, that's okay. I can't very well tell you my life story then get upset when you ask questions, can I?" He laughed, but it wasn't the same. "But no, I cannot say I do. Things are going just fine right now." With that, he smiled at Lovino. Could he possibly mean…? No, ridiculous.

There was a long, heavy pause before Antonio continued to speak. "How about you, Lovino? Have you ever…" He trailed off and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. That's much too personal."

It didn't take a genius to know what he was referring to. "It's fine." Lovino surprised himself with his own willingness to respond. "But no, I haven't."

Antonio exhaled sharply. "Good." He said quietly. "Good, that's something no one should have to deal with."

Especially you…for the love of God, stop! This craziness needed to end. Lovino's mind suddenly began to whir. He started to wonder what he was doing, why he was sitting in a dusty storage room with some eccentric Spaniard talking about such serious matters and having such ridiculous thoughts. He wondered what Feliciano would think about this. He wondered what his grandfather would think about this.

Then, he stopped himself. What did their opinions matter? He was tired of making decisions based on other people, tired of the endless monotony. This was a decision he was making for himself and only himself. Why he was making this decision specifically, he couldn't be sure. He wasn't even sure what 'this decision' was, exactly.

Lovino felt a sudden urge to be impulsive. It was a burning, unthinking urge that absolutely demanded to be acted upon. So without taking even a moment to consider the consequences, he lurched across the sofa and hugged Antonio the way he wanted to since he walked in. He wasn't sure why he did it. Maybe it was the sad look in his eyes; maybe it was because of the way he laughed or the way he smelled, maybe… NO!

Lovino ripped away from him with incredible force the second he realized what he was doing. "Merda!" He swore. What was happening to him? What in the hell was that? What was he thinking?

For a moment Antonio just stared at him, looking utterly dumbfounded. He barely even reacted to the hug in the first place; he seemed too surprised. Finally, he smiled again. "Lovino? Are you alright?" The worst part was he sounded almost amused.

Lovino wanted to scream 'no'. No, he wasn't okay. Everything was so wrong, he was so terribly confused; yet it felt so strangely right at the exact same time. "Shut up." He mumbled. It was an immature, stupid response but it was all he could manage. Lovino decided he was done being impulsive. It was stupid anyways. Everything about this was stupid, just about as stupid as the alias 'The Bad Touch Trio.' Lovino let himself chuckle quietly when he remembered the name.

Antonio turned to Lovino and his eyes softened. "Lovino, has anyone ever told you that you look beautiful when you laugh?"

Lovino instantly stopped laughing and his heart leapt at the word. Beautiful. "Where the hell did that come from?" He said. "Who the hell calls a boy beautiful?" His words were meant to be an angry shout, but they ended up as more of a wavering whisper.

"Beauty isn't gender exclusive, Lovi."

"I'm not beautiful." Lovino felt his cheeks burn as he heard himself vocalize his true feelings. He hadn't meant for that to sound as pouty as it did. He turned his attention to the dust swirling around in the light that poured from the window.

Antonio's smile fell. "Lovino. Of course you are." His tone suddenly became serious. His response didn't sound patronizing or fake; it sounded truly authentic. Lovino felt as if the temperate in the room had gone up at least two hundred degrees.

"Just…stop!" said Lovino finally. He couldn't take hearing these things from Antonio. He couldn't take the way it made him feel. It was too much. Oh God, it shouldn't be too much. He shouldn't care…

Antonio laughed and Lovino's train of thought shattered into a million pieces around him. He swore that damn laugh was going to be the end of him, but in a way he felt relieved. "Alright, forgive me!" said Antonio as he attempted, unsuccessfully, to stifle his laughter.

His incessant laughter did nothing to help Lovino's flushed face. "What the hell is so damn funny? What gives you the right to laugh at me, bastard?" It was a childish thing to say and he knew it, but his thoughts were too clouded to come up with anything else.

"Oh, Lovino," said Antonio. "I'm not laughing at you. I've just never met someone…" He paused like he was trying to piece together a description, but then shrugged like he had failed. "Quite like you."

Lovino didn't know how to feel about that statement. "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked.

"I can't say I've ever known someone that so readily voices their anger yet never expresses much of anything else," said Antonio. Lovino felt his stomach drop. Of course, that's what everyone knew him for. He wasn't sure why he expected anything else… "But I know there's more to you than just anger. Much more."

Lovino swallowed hard. "What do mean?" He said, much softer this time. His voice lost nearly all of its malice.

Antonio leaned back against the old sofa and stared at the ceiling. "It's clear you care very much about your brother, even if you do deny it." He said. "And in the short time we've spent talking, I can tell you're very bright. You aren't one to simply accept what you're told. You question it."

"Oh." Lovino nearly whispered. His constant questions and overthinking had gotten him into nothing but trouble in the past. "Not many people think that's a good thing."

Antonio nodded and a slight frown found its way to his face. "And that's a real shame. We need more thinkers in this world."

What we need are more people that smile like you; laugh like you…there would be no war. Lovino shook his head, now entirely convinced someone else was controlling his thoughts. After the troublesome thought left his mind he found himself at a complete and utter loss for words. As if a higher power had noticed his distress, music began to seep through the vents. The sermon was over and they needed to get back downstairs. Lovino wasn't sure whether to be incredibly relieved or frustratingly, confusingly upset.

"Let's go." He said. "This whole thing was ridiculous. We should just get back now."

Without any resemblance of a warning, Antonio got on his feet at an incredible speed and pulled Lovino up by the hands. "The best things in life are often ridiculous, Lovino!" His familiar words were wild and free.

It took only a moment for Lovino to realize Antonio was trying to dance with him. His veins seemed to fill with fire as Antonio led him by the hand onto the dirty floor that was crowded with boxes and placed his hand on the small of his back. He followed the action with a succession of quick, surprisingly rhythmic steps that ended up resembling the salsa.

Lovino gasped, bit his lip and finally scowled. "You said that already, bastard!" He made no real effort to pull away. He could have if he wanted to, yet he just…didn't. That didn't stop him from continuing to shout, however. "What the hell are you doing? We need to get back before someone notices!"

Antonio laughed and suddenly dropped his arms. "You're right, we better get back," he said with a smile. He turned towards the door, but after just a second he turned back around. "Lovino?" He said. Lovino froze. "I stand by what I said. I think you're absolutely beautiful."

Just like that, Antonio was walking out. For a moment Lovino could only stand stuck in place, unable to move through all the strange emotions coursing through them. Yes, all of this was absolutely ridiculous. If that was true, why did it feel so amazing, so exciting, so fulfilling?

Maybe Antonio was right after all.

To be continued...