"Thank you, Dr. Clarkson."
Dr. Clarkson nodded once in goodbye before leaving Lord and Lady Grantham to absorb the news. Robert could feel his world crumbling around him. His knees were weak, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand with the dread and fear rapidly filling his abdomen. How could it be possible? How could he lose both his mama and his darling wife within a few short months? He could feel Cora quaking next to him, trying in vain to hold back the tears that poured down her face. He acknowledged that she might also crumble into sobs and moved swiftly so not to disturb the group in the drawing room.
"Cora, my darling, let us go upstairs. You should rest." Robert placed a protective arm around her waist and guided up to their bedroom. He settled her gently into an armchair, before slumping down into one himself. He dared a glance at her beautiful face, before the news became too much for him to bear any longer. Sobs racked his body as he recognized the absolute terror in his wife's eyes. He hadn't seen someone look so frightened since his time in South Africa, where the prospect of death was of daily concern. Cora too was sobbing uncontrollably, and Robert could no longer bear to be away from her. He dropped to his knees at her feet and rested his head in her lap. In their younger years, this action had led to many sleepless nights. He supposed that tonight would also prove to be sleepless for them both, but for much more horrific reasons. He held her as tightly as he could manage while still maintaining a gentle touch. They remained in this position until their sobs subsided, making way for heartbreaking numbness.
"Robert, darling- I.." Cora took a deep breath, seemingly to steel herself against the world "I don't think I can face anyone but you tonight. Could you please ask Baxter to not come up this evening. Bates too if you can spare him. I-" Her voice cracked and the rest of her words came out in a watery whisper "I'm so scared Robert."
"Oh Cora, I am so frightened too. I want nothing more than to take this pain away from you." This prompted them both to dissolve into sobs yet again. Robert looked up at his darling Cora, makeup now streaked across her face, and somehow she was still as beautiful to him as the day they had met. "My lovely, darling girl… Oh how much I love you." He stood then and planted gentle kisses on the tears escaping her eyes, before holding her face protectively in his warm hands. "I am going to ring for Bates and ask him to keep Baxter away for the night. I'll have them leave breakfast trays in front of the door for us in the morning." Cora smiled gently, watching Robert walk from the room with slump in his shoulders. Cora began to slowly remove her jewelry, not really knowing what else to do with herself. She gazed towards her armoire, noticing the gramophone that Robert had gifted her last Christmas. She placed the needle at the beginning of the record and drifted her eyes closed as jazz filled the room.
Robert reentered the room then, stopping for a moment to admire the way his wife swayed to the music. He swept her into his arms, and they began a slow waltz. Dancing had always been something that they had loved to do together; now scenes of their many balls and parties over the years flashed through Robert's mind like a film. He wasn't sure how he could ever face another party without his beloved. Next, came scenes of the many years of happiness they had shared, big moments and small. Their wedding day, the moment he realized he was in love with her,, their strolls in Newport, the afternoons spent with their daughters, and later with their grandchildren.. What a wonderful life they had led, but how were he to go on without her?
The record skipped onto the next track as Cora tucked her head against his shoulder. They continued to sway in this way until the lyrics began.
"Smile though your heart is aching, Smile even though it's breaking"
Cora chuckled humourlessly, looking up at Robert. "Easy enough for him to say, isn't it?" Twin sapphire eyes locked onto one another, sparkling with both unshed tears and a lifetime of love. Robert spun his wife, dipping her into a kiss like he hadn't in at least 20 years. This time, she chuckled with more believability. Her eyes still reflected fear, but now with a hint of acceptance of her fate.
"But let's say we try, Robert. Try to smile through it all. I wish for my last few months to be as happy as we can bear to make them. Let's revisit all the things that I have loved in life, things that time and responsibility have prevented us from doing of late." Robert kissed her again, deeply this time, intending to portray all the love he could into the space where their lips met.
"My love, I would do anything for you. I would take your place in a heartbeat if I could." Robert meant this with everything in him. He wished to do nothing more than to make her happy. Robert had always presumed that Cora would outlive him, especially after the ulcer scare a few years prior. He had never stopped to think that he would one day have to continue on without her. He knew that the morning would bring more heartbreak as they broke the news to their family. But for now, swaying in their own little world, he would smile and hold and kiss, and endeavor to fulfill every promise he had ever made to her.
"Smile, what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile."