Author's Notes: OH MY GOD! SORRY! It's been ages and I'm really sorry about that! I am however a busy mum of a 9 month old and a preschooler that are both home with me all day as well as me trying to work from home and do housework! The main lack of time recently has been due to me trying to exercise in my spare time to get in shape. So far I have lost 24lbs in the past month! I'm a very happy girlie right now! So anyway one with the story!

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now; I don't own it and make no profits!

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Hermione made her way up to the library of Grimmauld place. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she pressed her back against it before sliding to the floor and pulling her knees to her chest.

She couldn't help herself, the tears came and they wouldn't stop. She clung to her knees and buried her face into her jeans, staining them with her tears. She fought for a few deep breaths to try and calm herself and then heard a knock on the door.

"I don't want to talk about it Harry!" she called back.

"You may not," the voice that was most definitely not Harry's replied, causing her to jump to her feet and back away from the door as if it would swallow her whole. "but I do." Sure enough the old door to the library opened and revealed Severus Snape stood in all his black cloaked glory.

"Hi..." she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

He stepped slowly and deliberately into the room, closing the door behind him and warding it, to prevent anyone snooping into their business. This was a conversation that he would rather keep as private as possible.

He took in her slightly dishevelled appearance, she'd been crying and it made him wonder what exactly had made her cry. Just one more bit of evidence that she had somehow gotten under his skin.

"You're crying." He stated, stepping closer to her. "Why?"

"I-" she opened her mouth to explain but couldn't really think of a good explanation and stopped mid breath. "It's hard to explain." She looked at him and tried to gather up her courage. "You wanted to say something?"

"I did." He nodded, before reaching forward to pluck her bottom lip from between her teeth. Her eyes flew to his in surprise at his actions. "You ran away."

"Did you come here to state the obvious Severus?" she couldn't help but let a small smile slip onto her face.

"Quiet woman!" he barked at her. "You were just gone! In the middle of the night, vanished! I had no idea where you were!"

"You were worried about me?" she asked softly.

"I didn't say that, I-...Yes Hermione, of course I was worried." He admitted.

"But you didn't come after me though." She sighed.

"I did actually." He admitted with a small smirk. "Barged right into Molly's kitchen first thing in the morning, Potter and Weasley nearly pissed themselves."

"Severus!" she gasped, stifling a giggle. "They didn't say anything."

"They told me you'd be back later...but since I knew you were safe and that you obviously wanted to get away from me, I left you alone." He explained. "Do you know how annoying it is, having to stock the infirmary by myself after having someone else do it?"

"Is that your way of saying you missed me?" she asked.

"I suppose after having your incessant chattering around it does seem overly quiet." He replied. "Why were you crying?"

"Well, that's a pretty long story." She sighed, wiping her eyes and trying to straighten her hair a bit. "The short version is that Draco said something to remind me how much of an idiot I am, and even though I know it's stupid...it still hurts."

"Brightest witch of her age, doing something so stupid it brought her to tears? Shall I go inform Madam Skeeter now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Only if you want your sex life to be the cover story." She retorted.

"I do not have a sex life currently." He replied smugly.

"Neither do I." She replied.

"Please do not tell me that you are hiding and crying because Draco Malfoy made fun of you for being a virgin?" he frowned. "I really thought you were beyond that."

"No you complete idiot of a man!" she snapped. "He asked me if I was involved with you! Obviously I didn't actually answer the question; then again I'm not even sure I know the answer. Clearly we weren't in a relationship and yet it can't be just a sexual relationship either because we weren't actually having sex. Then of course you with your stupid morals don't want me for sex or rather you do but you won't because you think I'm worth more! I'm so unbelievably sick of fighting with you and having the same conversation over and over when the fact of the matter is that I'm already in love with you! That is the stupid thing that Hermione Granger did! She fell in love with someone who most emphatically can not and will not love her back!"

She stopped as suddenly as she had started. She was panting from her impromptu ranting and appalled that she had just told him everything that she had. What was more surprising was that he said nothing, no callus remarks, no excuses...no anything. She finally dared herself to look up at him and found him stood looking as shocked as she was.

"We need to start this conversation again." He said suddenly. With that he spun on his heel and left the room. Just as she found herself wondering if that had really just happened, he entered the room again and once again shut the door behind him.

"What on- mhpf" Hermione found her words promptly cut off mid sentence as his lips descended on hers. He kissed her deeply, pulling her body flush against his and taking her breath away. She groaned in his arms and then suddenly froze. They hadn't solved anything; she was still going to get her heart broken. She quickly pulled her lips away from his and he let her go instantly.

"No, I can't do this." She said quickly, backing away from him. "I cannot get involved with you, I can't just-"

"I had no intentions of stripping you here Hermione." He assured her. "I just needed to show you how much I want you."

"Severus I...you were right before." She said softly. "I do deserve more, not more than you. It isn't who you are that is the problem. I love you, sarcasm and snarkiness and all...but I deserve more than you are willing to give me. I want someone who will love me back, who wants a future with me." She felt better for having said it and instantly more confident in her decision. She did deserve to have her happy ending, she deserved to make the best of her future, she owed it to all those that weren't here today to live her life to the fullest.

"I do want you in my life." Severus said slowly, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "I missed you when you were only gone for a few days. Tell me Hermione, how many people do you think I have ever missed at all? Let alone after a few days?"

"What are you saying exactly?" she asked uncertainly. He stepped closer to her and took her hand in his.

"I don't know." He said honestly. "I still don't know if I can ever love you Hermione, the difference is that I do know I care about you. You somehow got under my skin, probably something to do with the Gryffindor pigheadedness. You do deserve to be loved and you deserve everything that you want in life. So if you don't want to take a chance on me then I understand...I did however want you to know before you move on, I don't just want you for sex Hermione...you do mean something to me."

"I-..." Hermione looked up at him and smiled slightly, he looked so uncomfortable; typical Severus Snape, trying to bare his soul and looks like his chewing grass. "Can I have a bit of time to think about it?" She asked finally, squeezing his hand with hers.

"Of course." He nodded. She stepped forward and leant up to kiss him. "Although if you want to think about it I do suggest not continuing this." Hermione grinned up at him as he nodded to her and then excused himself from the room. She moved to the nearest chair and sank into it. Well, that just made things a bit more difficult to decide.

He actually did care about her, he wanted her... It was easy to tell herself he was wrong for her when she thought it was only physical for him, but knowing that it wasn't made things harder. She should be happy and some part of her was very much a giddy school girl right now, however she didn't know if she could let herself get involved. He still couldn't promise her love, couldn't promise her a future or a family... Would she head down this road only to find heartbreak at the end of it?

Another knock interrupted her thoughts and she raised her head from her hands to see who was stood in the doorway.

"I didn't mean to stick my foot in it." The blonde said awkwardly.

"It wasn't really your fault M-Draco." She corrected, attempting to be friendly. "You couldn't have known..."

"Known what exactly? That my Godfather is practically obsessed with you?" he asked. "He willingly followed you from the room in front of everyone without knowing what had upset you was at all relevant to him. That says a lot about his relationship with you."

"We don't have a relationship." She groaned. "I don't know if we ever will yet. I don't know if he-..."

"I'm sure you're aware of exactly how private he is about these matters, he's my Godfather and I can only recall about three occasions when he has shown me any sort of affection. All of those were times when I nearly died, so for him to show that he has any kind of affection for you and allow others to witness it...no matter whether he believes it or not – he loves you." Draco said.

"He told me he doesn't, he can't and he won't." She replied quietly.

"Yes well, I believe you have his past to thank for those sentiments but whether he thinks he does or not, he does and that's what matters don't you think?" he asked.

"Why are you saying this?" she asked him after a moment of silence.

"It's not for you, I'm not overly bothered whether you're with the man of your dreams or not...unless of course you were actually in danger then I may actually care." He explained. "But him I do care about, he did a lot for me, most of which I was very difficult about and threw back in his face...he deserves to be happy."

Hermione didn't see Severus again that day. By the time she had gathered enough courage to head downstairs, he had already made his excuses and headed back to Hogwarts. She spent her evening with her friends trying not to think about Severus and instead enjoy a merry Christmas Eve with those close to her.

Molly caught her alone later in the evening, when the many guests had left and everyone else was winding down and packing up for bed. The older witch met Hermione's gaze and Hermione knew exactly what would follow.

"That's the second time this week you've had our Severus out of sorts." She commented. "I dare say he seems quite taken with you." Hermione didn't exactly know how to respond to that and instead backtracked a little.

"So, he really did come after me the other day?" she asked quietly.

"That he did." Mrs Weasley nodded. "I trust you two have come to an understanding?"

"I don't know yet." Hermione admitted. "I haven't made any decisions yet..."

"I hope you'll be careful about it." The older witch told her gently.

"That's why I haven't made up my mind." Hermione nodded. "I'm not sure whether it's a good idea or if I'll still end up getting my heart broken."

"No dear, I meant be careful with his heart." Molly clarified. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't like to see you heartbroken either but you're young and smart and beautiful, with the world at your feet. There may be a many more men to take your fancy yet. Severus...as much as he pretends otherwise, it took him a long time to... Well it's not really my place to tell but my point is, if he loves you like I think he does; I'm not sure he could take it if your broke his heart. So dear, if you don't think he's the one for you, then let him down sooner rather than later."

Hermione sat thinking in her room that night. She sat thinking until the house was silent, until even Ginny had given up and fallen asleep. Still she sat. She sighed and flopped backwards to lie on the bed, was she over thinking this?

She closed her eyes and sank into the pillow; sleep wouldn't be coming to her any time soon. She instead tried to picture a life with Severus. Could she? She couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of Severus being a dad. He would actually be a wonderful father, stern but fair and secretly adoring his child more than anything in the world. He went through great lengths to protect her, Ron and Harry and he didn't even like them...he would protect his own child fiercely. Could she picture a life without Severus, as Molly had suggested? Could she picture her life without him in it?

With that thought echoing round her head she leapt out from her bed and rummaged around for her coat and shoes.

"What are you doing?" Ginny groaned.

"Going to Hogwarts." Hermione replied, closing the door behind her. She crept through the house and downstairs until she reached the front door. Stepping outside into the cold she quickly apparated to the Hogwarts gates.

She didn't care about the chilly wind or the sleety rain biting through her pyjamas as she ran up the grounds to the castle. She crossed the courtyard to the viaduct bridge and made her way inside the entrance with a loud creaking of the doors. Barely even a portrait stirred at the noise as she ran to the spiral staircase that reached the dungeon.

Hermione slowed down as she got closer to his door, her nerves getting the better of her. What was she doing?! She hesitated but knocked on his doors anyway - nothing, not even the sound of anyone stirring inside his rooms. Determined she took her wand to his wards, knowing that whilst she probably couldn't break them, the alerts would definitely wake him.

She didn't have to wait long before the door was thrown open and she found herself being forced backwards against the wall opposite his door. He had her at wand point and pinned against the freezing wall for only a moment before her realised that it was her. He slowly lowered his wand and took in her dishevelled state.

"Happy Christmas." She said quietly.

"You are supposed to be with the Weasley's and Potter at Grimmald place." He told her. "And do you ever roam the castle in a suitable state of dress?"

"I'd rather spend Christmas with you." She said softly. She didn't need to elaborate before he dragged her into his rooms with him and slammed the door behind them.