Professor Byleth walked up to the Black Eagles dormitory, a bottle of champagne in hand as she rang the doorbell.
Within, Edelgard preened with excitement. She'd been looking forward to this day for weeks, going so far as to tempt her fellow dorm mates into going out for the day so she could have this time with Byleth all to herself. Sleepy Linhardt, nosy Dorothea, and even the overly devoted Hubert had willingly left her alone.
There wasn't a single thing that could possibly go wrong.
Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Edelgard opened the door.
"Hello Edelgard. I'm glad to finally see you." Edelgard's heart soared. "Hubert's directions weren't very good. This is the third door I've knocked on." Edelgard's heart deflated, oh so slightly. She would need to have a talk with him about his manners.
Regardless, she managed a confident smile. "It's wonderful to see you as well, Professor. I hope you're ready for an unforgettable luncheon." She stepped aside and invited the older woman inside.
As Byleth took a seat at the dining table the Black Eagles all shared, Edelgard popped into the kitchen. She could only gasp in horror at the sight she beheld. A thick haze of smoke poured out of the oven, the food within burning to cinders.
"By the non-existent goddess, my roast is ruined!"
Edelgard needed to fix this. She couldn't possibly let this special occasion turn sour. If she did, the Professor would be so disappointed in her! But how could she salvage this?
Thinking quickly, she glanced out the window. The dining hall was just across the way.
"But what if I were to acquire dining hall food and disguise it as my own cooking? My, how impishly imperial, El."
Opening the window, Edelgard began to climb through.
The kitchen door opened.
"Edelgard? What are you doing?"
"Professor! I was just... stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?"
Byleth considered. "I do enjoy training with you... But there's only one window. Another time perhaps." Her face fell into a frown as she noticed the smoke. "Edelgard, is that smoke coming out of your oven?"
"No, no. That's not smoke," lied Edelgard, "It's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having!"
Byleth looked at Edelgard. She looked to the oven. She looked back to Edelgard. "I'll set the table," she offered before leaving.
Edelgard breathed a sigh of relief before ducking out the window towards the dining hall.
Her return was swift and triumphant. She'd managed to secure a more than adequate replacement for the remnants of her ruined roast.
The student entered the dining room shortly, her arms hefting a platter holding a familiar dish.
"Professor, I hope you're ready for the exquisite taste of Saghert and Cream," presented Edelgard, setting the food onto the dining table.
Byleth tilted her head inquisitively. "I thought we were having steamed clams?"
"Oh, no, I said... creamed clams," grimaced Edelgard, instantly hating herself for such an outrageous lie. "...That's what I call Saghert and Cream."
Byleth blinked. "That sounds more like a sexual euphemism," she observed neutrally. "You call Saghert and Cream 'creamed clams'?"
Taking a breath, Edelgard decided the best course of action was to double, triple, and quadruple down. Assert her authority to ensure they had a wonderful time. Forget about being honest. Honesty was for suckers like Ferdinand.
"Yes," she said confidently, "It's a regional expression."
"Which region?"
"Southern Adrestia."
"Really?" Byleth paused to ponder. "I spent a few summers fishing in Boramas and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'creamed clams'."
"Oh no, not in Boramas. It's an Enbarr expression."
"I see," accepted Byleth.
They each took turns digging into the dish, munching on bites of pastry and sipping the champagne in companionable silence.
"How are you enjoying the meal?" asked Edelgard.
"It's quite good," replied the professor. "Actually, it tastes a lot like the Saghert and Cream they serve at the dining hall."
"Pure coincidence, I assure you," claimed Edelgard dismissively, "This is an old Hresvelg recipe, passed down through my family for generations."
"For creamed clams?"
"Yes." The student took a calming sip from her champagne glass.
"But there's no clam in this," asserted Byleth.
Edelgard wasn't sure how to respond to that.
"Yes, well... One thing I should... That is to say... Perhaps it would..." She wiped her mouth with a napkin and stood. "Excuse me for a moment."
Byleth nodded, returning to eating as Edelgard slipped back into the kitchen.
Edelgard returned momentarily, now burdened with the terrible knowledge that the dorm's kitchen was on fire.
"My how time flies. I had a wonderful time with you, Professor, and I would love to do this again. But I'm afraid other responsibilities are calling me away."
"A shame, but I understand." Byleth stood to leave. "If you're amenable, I'd like to make the plans for our next..." She stopped as she caught sight of an ominous inferno leaking through the kitchen door. "Edelgard, is your kitchen on fire?"
"Nonsense! It's an Aurora Borealis."
Byleth's brow furrowed in confusion and concern. "An Aurora Borealis? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of Fodlan, localized entirely within your kitchen?"
"Yes," claimed Edelgard boldly.
Byleth looked at her curiously. "May I see it?"
"...No," decided Edelgard.
The hostess graciously walked her guest to the doorstep.
Suddenly, a panicked voice gave off a terrified yell. "Someone help! The dorm is on fire!"
"No Bernadetta, it's just the northern lights!" called Edelgard.
"Edelgard," said Byleth, "You can be an odd student, but I enjoyed my time with you immensely. I look forward to cooking for you on our second date." She leaned in and pecked Edelgard on the cheek before walking away.
As the Black Eagles dormitory began to burn in earnest, Edelgard could only look on at the departing professor in awe and elation.
"Bernie's gonna burn! HEEEEELP!" shrieked Bernadetta.
Edelgard ran back into the dorm.
~END~
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Epilogue:
And that was how Edelgard earned her moniker as Flame Emperor.
.
Omake:
As she walked away from the burning building, Byleth couldn't help but mutter under her breath. "Perfect teatime."
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Omake:
"Edelgard," said Byleth, "You can be an odd student, but I enjoyed my time with you immensely. I look forward to cooking for you on our second date." She leaned in and pecked Edelgard on the cheek. "Afterwards, perhaps you'll let me cream your clam."