Only one chapter again this week, because I feel like being evil. Why do I feel like being evil? Well, that's a good question, but a better one to be asking is HOW it's going to be evil. Let's just say cliff hanger :P

I'm rather disappointed, you know. See, I got a few people who gave me a list of words from the last chapter, like I said, but no one defined any. That was part of the deal :P So, no one has "won" yet ;)

Anyway, onto reviews. I actually got quite a few this time O.O I was surprised XD I guess people like to review random filler chapters that are completely hysterical and pointless... XD

Kaoru-chibimaster: Yes, Rawr... That was a kind of craze in my middle school, so I had to put it in XD

P5hng-Me-A'Wy: I feel smart every time I read over that chapter XD So did my friends who had the same English class I did because they could understand every single word XD No, Ellie never does pay Riku. He tries to make her, but that doesn't go over very well... hehehehehehe ^^; I'm a Linkin Park fan too :)

themusicalmuffin: Awesome name, by the way XD And yes, you probably should be sleeping... is there a reason I needed to know that ;P I plan on a lot more plotting (:

SutaaFox: Okay, so I'm going to condense this a little because your review was so long, but here goes: Chapter titles come from random places. Some from a list of sayings I found on this site, others from my friend, some from my chemistry teacher (like chapter 30, and the Halloween chapter), and some from my own brain O.O My brothers and I came up with the name for our dog together... kinda. Riku is... well, Riku. He likes to make bets because he's so competitive, and usually he wins, but he doesn't always get the money. Ellie refuses to pay him most of the time. You'd think he'd learn... You do get more crack eventually, but also quite a bit of drama, so... XD

ThePirateMage: Don't worry, only freaks know those words off the top of their head. Wait... I did but didn't know them off the top of my head. As I stated, they were my vocab words for English one unit, so I HAD to know them off the top of my head, but didn't at the time I wrote this. I do now, though...

L.L: I do update every week, you know :P I loved imagining this chapter in my head as I wrote it, and then my friend declared she was going to draw a comic to go along with it XD Who knows if she's actually going to, but... Glad you liked the chapter :)

chocomiiillk13: Well, these words were from Pre-AP English, so not quite AP :P I'm taking THAT next year... oh dear... COOOOOOOKIES! Too bad I'm not in school right now, or that basket would make me the most popular person there XD

813 i love you 813: Well, for chapter 30 you only said some of the words, so... XD If you want a reply to chapter 29, let me know and I'll PM you :)

Varette: Yes, things between Axel and Roxas are very slow in this story... but that's more realistic, in my opinion XD

Sorry the AN is so long... So many people reviewing O.o Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and for those of you who are interested, I started posting a new story called Il Pleut dans la Nuit. It's not an AU, and it mainly focuses on an OC and Riku (though it's not a romance) and it's very... dark. So if you want to read it, have at! :D I only have the prologue and chapter 1 posted though... ^^;

Also, please answer the poll. It'll be up until the story ends, and no later XD Other than that, read, enjoy, and review! :)

~Sunechirei

Full Chapter Title: There are no words in the English language to fully express the depth of which I don't give a damn

Axel's arms were a comforting barrier, keeping all the horrible crap that I was thinking about away, and showing me that at least one person cared about whether or not I was being an idiot. Of course, he was the only one who knew, so I guess that doesn't really count.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, before kissing me lightly on the neck. I nodded, closing my eyes so that the feel of his lips completely consumed me for a moment. It was nice that Axel was holding me from behind, because he couldn't see my face at all from where he was standing. Why was this nice?

Because I was one hundred percent sure that I was paler than the white fluffy clouds floating in the sky.

"Look, Roxas, you don't have to do this-"

"Yes I do!" I gripped Axel's hands tightly. "I've stalled for long enough. I need to do this."

My boyfriend said nothing for a moment, then sighed, resting his forehead against my neck. "Roxas, it's not that hard to keep our relationship a secret if you really don't want anyone to know."

"I do! But, I don't, but I do!" I let out a frustrated sigh and pressed back against Axel's body. He was so comforting, despite the fact that he was a pile of bones and flesh. I think it was more his abnormal body heat that really calmed me down. Because I was freaking out.

Let me tell you, that standing outside Axel's car, in the parking garage of my work, trying to decide whether or not I wasn't being stupid and that telling my co-workers/friends about me and Axel wasn't a ridiculous idea can be really taxing to a person. It also makes them feel cold, which is why the heat of Axel's body was wonderful beyond all belief.

"I know you want them to know, and to just get it out, but if you're going to be embarrassed about it, then there's really no point," Axel said, letting me go, and turning me around. "I know that it's embarrassing for you to go out with me-"

"No! It's not," I protested, hugging Axel quickly. "That's not why I'm embarrassed! I, I just..."

"You don't want people to know that the guy you've hated for the past year is the guy you're now in love with?"

Blushing, I nodded, and placed my head against his chest. "I know it's stupid, but every time I think of telling all of them, I can't help but want to run and hide. It's like, I'm going to be ridiculed if I say anything about it."

"And, why would anyone want to ridicule you?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Well," Axel started to say, but stopped suddenly, pushing me away.

"Axel?"

"Never mind. Let's go." He grabbed my arm and began pulling me to the front door. However, I wanted to know why he'd stopped talking and pushed me away, so I refused to walk. Even though Axel was a hell of a lot stronger than I am, and could probably have just yanked me across the garage, he stopped moving, giving me a funny look.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Push me away. I want to know why-"

"It's not important, Roxas. I just though I heard something." He was obviously lying to me, hiding something, but honestly I was in no mood to deal with him, so I sighed and started walking again. He didn't move, just watching me as I passed him. When I was a few feet away, I heard his voice again.

"Last chance to change your mind, Roxie," Axel called after me. "We can call this whole thing off right now if you want."

It was tempting. Axel was being so supportive of me and my issues, which was something most others wouldn't even consider doing. Not even I would be that way. I hadn't been, anyway. With all of my girlfriends, and now Axel, I'd been somewhat selfish, thinking only of my own needs rather than what they thought, and how they felt. I wondered briefly how Axel felt about that, and how it made him view me as a person.

But, I didn't have the time to think about it. I had a secret to reveal.

"I'm doing this."

So, apparently the world hates me. Really hates me.

I'd already psyched myself up, gotten ready for the revelation of me dating Axel, but when I walked into the building, instead of being able to go up to my office and have everyone go there, someone kidnapped me.

Quite literally.

Who was it you ask?

My fucking goddamn father.

He was such a bastard... I mean, I walked into the office, Axel close behind me, and next thing I know, Dad's grabbed my shoulder, saying he needs to talk to me, and shoves me towards the elevator.

I didn't even know my dad could leave his office while he was working. But, there he was. Axel looked just as shocked as I did about the whole thing, and he tried to follow us, but Dad yelled at him to stay put. Weird. Dad almost never raises his voice.

He was probably pissed about something.

Shit.

"Dad?" My voice was really quiet when we were in the elevator. At first I thought he hadn't heard me, so I started to repeat his name, but he turned around before I could.

"What is your relationship with Mr. Lea?" His blue eyes were piercing, scary, and cold. It was something I'd never seen before, though I assumed he only looked like that when he was angry. So of course I didn't want to tell him the truth. If he was upset because he assumed I was going out with Axel, then I was screwed.

"Roxas?"

"What do you mean?" My answer was instantaneous this time.

"You know what I mean, Roxas. I want to know what sort of relationship you have with Axel Lea."

"Why-"

"Because if the two of you are more than just friends, then I have to know," he sighed, shaking his head. I really didn't want to talk to him about this. Friends, okay. Father's? Not exactly the one I want to talk about when it came to dating a guy, especially since I'm also a guy. Maybe if I'd known that I could like a dude for a lot longer, it would be easier to come out to him, but no. I just had to only figure this out when I was nineteen, working for my father, and ending up dating my future business partner.

Like I said, life hates me.

"I need an answer. Now," Dad told me with a dark voice. I shuddered, pressing back against the elevator, hoping that we were almost to the top floor so I could escape from this nonsense for a few minutes and get my thoughts together.

I wasn't lucky enough to get away with that.

"Axel and I... we're..." I'm pretty sure my bloody red face gave away my answer, but my father is a fucking cruel man. He wanted to hear it from me, not say it himself. There was no doubt in my mind that the jerk has known from the beginning what was going on, but did he just accept it?

Of course not. He had to be a fucking...

"We're dating."

I finally said it. Out loud. To a person who wasn't Axel or Pence. To my father.

Fucking, damn, shit, ass, crap!

The door to the top floor opened and my father stepped out.

"Thank you for telling me. Please don't let it get in the way of your work," was all he said. I felt like I just put myself completely out there, been totally honest with my father, and he just shoved it to the side like it was no big deal.

What a bastard.

"You okay?" Axel asked me when I found my way to his office. I was really the only one who ever went in there, besides Axel. Everyone else said it was boring and pointless, which was kinda true. The floor was a little bit... um... odd, because I'm sure Axel was the only one who worked on it. Which was weird. I wondered why the hell my father had a thirteen story building when not every floor was completely used.

Maybe he just took it because it was convenient?

The only thing in Axel's office was his desk and a bunch of random papers. It made me wonder what the hell he did in this job.

"Dad... My dad knows that we're going out," I muttered, looking away. "He asked me about our relationship, and I knew he already figured it out, so I told him, and-"

"He didn't really care?"

I shook my head, and Axel laughed.

"Your dad can be really predictable," he said, standing up and walking towards me, "I figured he knew. Actually, he's known that I've had a crush on you since he hired me." I let out a small "oh," then figured out exactly what he'd said. Axel had been twenty-two when he started working for my dad, which meant...

"You've had a crush on me since I was fifteen?" I exclaimed. "What the hell?"

"Longer, actually," Axel said with a smirk. "But of course, until you were eighteen I couldn't do anything without being considered a pedophile, so I kept to myself." The smile on his face was slightly creepy.

"I think I'm going to start avoiding you..." I trailed off, just a little freaked out by Axel's revelation, and started to back out the door, but of course, Axel wouldn't let me leave. His arm grabbed mine and pulled me into a hug. I struggled to get away, but his arms wrapped around my back were like steel traps, keeping me stuck in a single place.

His laughter vibrated my head, which was resting against his warm chest, and he muttered, "You couldn't stay away from me if you tried."

It was irritating how fucking true that statement was.

"Yeah yeah," I told him, finally being able to push away. "Now, we have a secret to spill."

"So, what is it you want to tell us?" Riku asked. The six of us were in Ellie's office, as she had summoned us there after finding out I needed to talk to everyone. Kairi and Sora were sitting next to each other in the window sill, having a silent conversation about something. I guessed it had something to do with the fact that Sora looked slightly beat up, and was covered in black paint. Behind Ellie's desk, Riku was sitting in her chair, and Ellie was on the wooden desk, facing me.

I knew that Axel was standing behind me, probably leaning against the door, his arms crossed, and a completely serious look on his face. No one was really talking, and the air of the room was uncomfortable and thick. Probably, the four people who knew nothing about what I wanted to talk about could see my extremely pale face, and were worried about me.

That just made me feel worse.

"Well... I... uh... I..." I stuttered, laughing nervously. I'd planned this conversation in my head about a million times;

"I know I started out hating all of you guys, especially Axel, but I guess this past year I grew up a bit, and I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm glad I work here. Also, I'm guessing that all of you have assumed there's something going on between me and Axel, and you're right. The two of us are going out."

That's what I hoped to say.

It's not what came out.

Actually, nothing came out. I lost my voice after stuttering for a bit, blushing. I felt so embarrassed by my inability to actually talk about what I needed to, that I looked at my feet.

"Roxas? You alright?" Kairi's motherly tone was somewhat of a relief for me, and I got the courage to look at them again. "What is it you're going to tell us?"

But I didn't get to say anything else. I barely registered Axel's hand cupping my chin and pulling my head up a little, his other arm wrapping around my stomach. I felt his chest against my back, and then his lips against mine. I didn't know how anyone was reacting to Axel's bold movement, and even after Axel pulled away, his hand moved to cover my eyes so I couldn't see.

"Just that he and I are an item," Axel said in that goddamn cocky voice of his.

Silence.

I went numb.

They probably hated me, or thought I was a freak, or-

"Finally! We've been fucking waiting for this since day one!" Sora started laughing after saying this, and Axel's hand was removed from my eyes. The first thing I noticed was Ellie; looking at me with a small smile, and a happy look in her eyes. When I caught her gaze, she shook her head and mouthed something at me.

"Took you long enough."

Riku too was smiling, and he started joking around with Sora about all the times the two of them walked in on us, or when they teased me about what happened, and even Kairi looked happy.

Though, for her, it was more a relieved look.

I felt more confident.

"Alright, I think it's party time!" Riku said, jumping up. "Thank god work's over!"

I had to laugh, and at the same time, cry. I think I was just so happy and relieved that everyone was happy about this, and not disgusted, or freaked out, that my body just decided I needed to cry, something I don't do. Axel saw and pulled me into a hug.

"I told you it would be fine," he said in my ear. "Now, let's go party."

Smiling, I nodded. "Okay. But first, I have two more people I need to talk to."

"Hayner?"

"Yeah, what?"

I didn't know what to say. Olette and Pence both knew that I was going out with Axel, but Hayner didn't. I needed to tell him, but I didn't know how he would react to it. I think he had issues with people who were gay, and even though I'm technically bi, not gay, he would still probably freak out on me.

But, I had to tell him.

"So, I wasn't completely honest with you when you came out to visit." Silence greeted me. It had been four months since his visit, being August now, and we've talked almost every day. I knew, even if he had no problem with me dating a guy, he would be pissed at me for not telling him.

"What haven't you told me?"

"You know Axel, right?"

"Duh! Wait, did you just call him-"

"We're dating."

"..."

Then there was dial tone. I sighed, and glanced at my cell, snapping it shut. This couldn't be a good sign.

One more person. I just had to tell one more person, who I'm pretty sure already knew about all of this, but still. It was worse than any other person I had to talk to. Dad was bad, Hayner was worse, but telling your mother that her only child is in love with a guy...

Well, I wasn't very eager to find out what her reaction would be.

So, sitting with her, in the living room, after a night out at dinner, I was trying to figure out how to tell her what was going on in her son's life. It was weird though. I couldn't just interrupt her peaceful reading situation, but I had to, so I could go out and party with my friends. Or, "party." Who knew what we would actually be doing.

"Roxas has something to tell you."

I jumped at the sound of my father's voice. He was standing at the back of the living room, watching me with eyes that said, "you'd better fucking tell her, or I will, and you won't be happy about the consequences for being a wimp."

Wonderful father...

"You do?" Mom's eyes were wide. She looked over at me expectantly, placing her book on the coffee table, and I silently cursed my dad.

"Yes, he does."

Obviously not liking the fact that I was avoiding the topic of me and Axel, my dad's voice was cold, which didn't go unnoticed by Mom. She sighed.

"What did you do this time, Roxas?"

"Nothing!" I exclaimed, standing up. I was a good kid; always have been, so there was no logical reason for her to think I had done something wrong. Even worse than that strange assumption, though was the tone of voice Mom had. It was disappointment. Was I really that horrible of a son, that she automatically had a sad tone to her voice?

"Well, then what do you need to tell me?"

I really didn't want to tell her.

"Well, it's... um..." I glanced back at my dad, silently pleading with him to leave the room so I wouldn't have to deal with him and Mom at the same time. He didn't leave. I nearly flipped him off. "It's about who I'm dating."

"You have another girlfriend?" Mom seemed shocked, horrified, and happy at the same time.

"Not exactly." As I said this, her face fell. "I'm... well, I'm going out with Axel."

Happiness, then shock, then sadness. That was her reactions over the course of the next few minutes. I figured she was just processing the whole thing, and didn't actually care that I was going out with a guy. Like Dad, only she was taking a hell of a lot longer to reply to it.

Let's just say, I wasn't prepared for her reaction.

"No," she said, sounding like the world was coming to an end. "No, I can't... I can't accept this."