Introduction
Do you know what it feels like to get into a car accident and have every bone in your body broken? That's what it felt when I went to bed. I was sleeping peacefully when out of nowhere all-over pain hit me. I couldn't wake up, I couldn't dream, I couldn't move, I couldn't even think. I don't know how it went on for but what I do know is this- it wasn't natural at all. I woke up gasping for air and reaching out for my dog only to find nothing but silk sheets and in front of my blurry just-woken eyes stood a handmaiden fresh out of the olden times.
The handmaiden stood frozen for several long seconds, her hazel eyes wide with shock and her mouth hanging open in an expression of disbelief. After a moment, she found her voice and gasped, "W-What in the- Are you some manner of spirit, then, or a witch?" The handmaiden took a tentative step towards the bed, her mind racing as she tried to figure out what could have caused this strange occurrence. "I-I must alert Lady Stark!" she cried, spinning around to leave the room and find someone who could explain this mystery. As the door shut behind her I could see the end of some chainmail on a guards sleeve.
I wish I was kidding but no this was really happening. I pinched myself over and over again and yet- I found myself in that beautiful bed still wearing my frog onesie which I'm sorry but isn't exactly the attire I would have picked if I'd known I was going to get teleported into what looks like the goddamn Game of Thrones universe. I played with the silk sheets and rocked slightly back and forth on the bed as I waited for the freaked out woman to return with Catelyn Stark. I didn't believe it after all.
"Who are you and how did you get into my chambers?" A sickeningly familiar woman burst through the grand wooden door the servant girl previously left through mere moments later and in with her came a rush of cold and a brigade of armed men.
"Catelyn Stark, is that really you!?" I couldn't help but say, my mouth dropping and my eyes widening to the size of golf balls.
There's no fuckin' way- I thought. I looked wildly around at the room as a ringing began in my ears. And I didn't get a chance to hear Catelyn's reaction to me knowing her name, honestly- because I fainted. Wouldn't you? At the sight of a fictional character? Maybe that's why fate spawned me on her bed.
As my vision slowly came into focus, I was met by the face of a maester clad in a long black robe bordered with gold trim. His face was worn with so many lines it was clear he'd lived a longer and more trying life than any other old person I'd ever seen. He was holding a ceramic cup filled with strong-smelling salts, and as he pressed it to my face, I felt a wave of super nausea wash over me. I had to fight back the urge to vomit and if I hadn't spent a good portion of my life in the emergency room I probably wouldn't have been able to.
"Who are you?" he demanded, his expression stern.
"How did you get into this castle? And who gave you that... that... that ridiculous outfit?"
The last thing he said caught me off guard which is saying something. How do you catch someone off guard who's just universe-jumped? What a feat...I scrunched up my brow in frustration and cringed my neck back away from him. I mean I know it's medieval times or whatever but I'm pretty sure this old fart could see that it's made of a high quality material and knows what frogs are.
"I don't know how I got here and I bought this outfit for myself, what's wrong with it? It's soft AND cute and- wait why am I explaining to you? Your outfit looks like bathwear since we are voicing our opinions, sir."
The sass came naturally to me and talking back to this old dude was pretty much the only normal thing I could do in that situation.
Even though I felt so sick I was sure I would be barfing who knows how many times or how soon- I pressed forward with an absolutely unhinged idea that in the setting of Game of Thrones could easily get me killed. But I felt insane having awoken on the bed of Catelyn Stark and I felt like my idea could work. My incredulous idea was to tell almost the entire truth but throw in that where I come from- I'm also nobility. After all…it's one thing to be from another world and be able to give helpful advice and it's another to be just that as well as supposedly the closest thing to royalty where I come from.
"I don't have to explain myself to you!" I sneered, folding my arms and glaring at the maester with as much arrogance as I could muster. Which was hard to do considering I was in the absolutely worst outfit to try to be serious in. I leaned closer to him and his disgusting salts and jabbed a finger towards his face rudely.
"You don't dare talk to me that way," I hissed, my eyes narrowed in fury. He stared at me in shock, taken aback by my sudden change in demeanor. But I wasn't finished. My false fury continued to build, and I was about to go in for the kill as far as my charade when the cause of my fainting returned.
Yes you read that right, Catelyn and her guard marched back only this time accompanied by her husband in the middle of my diva act moment.
"What is the meaning of this? Maester Thaddeus?" Ned's voice was deeper than I recalled it being in the show and scared the crap out of my onesie wearin' ass. He directed his ire and questions to the maester though his wife held her gaze on me.
It was then that it happened. All the candles in the room flickered out and I threw up. All the chinese food I had binged on the day before came flying out of my mouth. It covered the bed in the darkness and I heard it hit the maester, he let out disgusted sounds and dropped what could only have been the smelling salts.
As the room fell into darkness and the stench of regurgitated Chinese food filled the air, a shocked silence engulfed the chamber. Ned's voice boomed with a mix of anger and concern, demanding answers from the bewildered maester. Trying to regain composure amidst the chaos, I wiped my mouth, a mixture of embarrassment and fear flooding over me.
Maester Thaddeus, I knew it was him because he was the one standing closest to me, picked up what had fallen and rushed to re-light the candles while answering his sire.
"You said my name, child" Catelyn's voice cut through the night air and caused both men to stop conversing. I startled as the light cut back on.
I cringed.
"Yeah, I did. I know you and your husband and your kids. Where I'm from, this" I waved my hands around but only just barely as I noticed the Stark's guard flinching and reaching for their weapons "is all in my head- in my imagination. Or at least that's what I thought" I pouted and glared down at my clothes "I sure as shit didn't choose to appear in my pjs in your bed. And I can prove it and I can prove I mean no harm!" I tacked the last sentence onto the end as I remembered what would happen to me in this realm if I did or said something wrong.
Catelyn's eyes narrowed as she listened to my outlandish claims, her expression a mix of skepticism and curiosity. The room remained tense, the guards keeping a close watch on my every move. I took a deep breath, mustering up all the confidence I could, and decided to go all-in.
"Look, I may not have a fancy title like 'Lady' or 'Lord' in this world, but I promise you, I'm no threat to you or your family," I declared, hoping my words would resonate with the skeptical audience before me. "I come from a place where these stories, your world, are cherished as works of fiction. I've followed your adventures, your triumphs, and your losses through the pages of books and the glow of a television screen. And somehow, I've been transported here."
Catelyn's gaze softened slightly, her curiosity piqued by my passionate plea. The guards seemed to relax their grip on their weapons, though a sense of caution still lingered in the air. I seized the opportunity to prove my authenticity, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a small, rectangular device.
"I have something that might convince you," I said, holding up my smartphone for all to see. "This device can capture images and record sounds. It's a piece of technology from my world, and I'm confident it can provide evidence of my claims."
Catelyn's eyes widened with curiosity, her gaze fixed on the device in my hand. However, as I began scrolling through the pictures and videos on the screen, a sudden surge of energy crackled through the smartphone, causing it to emit sparks and flicker erratically. The room filled with a mix of gasps and exclamations of surprise.
"What sorcery is this?" Maester Thaddeus exclaimed, taking a step back as the malfunctioning device continued to sputter and falter. The guards instinctively moved closer, their hands hovering over their weapons, ready to react if needed.
"I... I don't understand," I stammered, my voice tinged with both disappointment and confusion. "It was working perfectly moments ago. This has never happened before."
Catelyn's expression turned somber, a mix of concern and caution replacing her initial curiosity. She gestured for me to lower the malfunctioning smartphone, and I reluctantly complied, tucking it back into my pocket.
"Perhaps this is a sign," Catelyn mused, her voice filled with a sense of resignation. "The powers that brought you here seem to have a plan of their own. We must tread carefully and seek answers in other ways."
As the sparks from the smartphone subsided, the room fell into an uneasy silence. The potential threat of future chaos brought by the advanced technology was averted, at least for now. The focus shifted back to the enigmatic circumstances that had brought me to Westeros, leaving us with a new mystery to unravel in our shared journey.
"Surely, you do not believe this? This must be a farce, must it not?" Maester Thaddeus voiced his opinion and stared at me with unwavering suspicion. A man of religion, since he's wearing a robe I would assume, and I puked on him- I hadn't exactly been surprised that he didn't believe my tale.
Ned Stark stepped forward now and with arms crossed- stared into my soul. Flashbacks played in my head of his own on a stick in Kings Landing and a blonde incest-baby wearing a crown showing said effigy to poor Sansa. The urge to cringe had never been so strong in my life but I fought it and instead bore my own gaze right back into his. I did my best to be myself. After all the truth is the truth and I had told it.
Ned Stark's stern expression softened slightly as he studied me.
"But should your words prove true, and you possess the knowledge you claim, then we may find ourselves with a valuable ally in these uncertain times. Knowledge is a powerful weapon, and we cannot afford to dismiss it without proper investigation."
Catelyn Stark, who had been silently observing the exchange, stepped closer as well. Her eyes held a mixture of curiosity and caution.
"If what you say is true, then we must proceed with caution. Our family and the realm have faced many trials, and we cannot afford to be deceived. Show us the proof of your claims, and we will consider your counsel."
Her words echoed in the chamber, and the tension in the room reached its peak. All eyes were on me, awaiting my response. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was to come.
"Very well," I replied, my voice steady despite the nerves bubbling within me.
"I will show you the evidence that I possess, and I will do my best to assist you in any way I can. But I warn you to approach this with an open mind, for the answers I give may be stranger than you can imagine."
With those words, I reached into my pocket, retrieving the now lifeless device that had brought me here. Its screen was dark, devoid of any sign of life. I held it up for all to see, the symbol of a world far removed from their own.
"This," I said, my voice carrying a mix of disappointment and determination, "is the device that connected me to my world. It has served its purpose, but now it lies dormant. It is nothing more than a useless artifact in this realm. But before I was however the fuck transported here, this was like a messenger raven except better. All that was needed was to write what you want with this" I gestured to the tiny keypad without hitting any of the buttons "and then the same little dots or buttons can be clicked to pick who you want what you wrote to be sent to and it works in mere seconds from any distance. And as you saw, Catelyn specifically, it also recorded moments of life in picture form and moving life or as we call it videos."
"I could go on because it did so much that every single person where I come from had one, only the truly destitute or holistic wouldn't have one. So advanced that any question you have at all except for things private like who is sleeping with your bride could be searched with this device and given an answer. You could even establish private matters like that by simply searching for private affairs investigators. "
"I explain this because if you, Maester Thaddeus, or your guardsmen doubt what I in my lackluster and bizarre outfit could possibly do to help the realm and a family of your stature- simply look at what I explained about my phone" I wiggled it in my hand for emphasis even though no one had looked away from it since I'd pulled it back out "and know that if that's considered ahead of your time think about how strategic and quick thinking, or in other words advanced my own intelligence should be considering I've been using one of these since I was born. I'm what you guys would call 'of nobility' where I'm from."
I watched as the Starks and their assembled company regarded the now lifeless device with newfound amazement. The room fell into a thoughtful silence, the weight of uncertainty heavy upon us all. As the silence stretched on, I couldn't help but wonder what lay ahead. The challenges, the revelations, and the impact my knowledge could have on this world.
The room was dimly lit, filled with an air of anticipation. I stood there, still clad in my ridiculous frog pajamas, surrounded by the perplexed faces of the Stark household. It had been hours since I arrived, and no one seemed inclined to provide me with proper attire. I shifted uncomfortably, the soft fabric of my pajamas mocking my predicament. Catelyn Stark, ever the gracious host, had tried her best to make me feel welcome. She had even offered me a seat at the table while we awaited further discussion. But it was hard to take the situation seriously when I looked like a lost child from a carnival.
Ned Stark's brows furrowed as he studied my attire, a mix of amusement and concern playing on his face. "Is this truly what you arrived in?" he asked, unable to hide his disbelief. I sighed, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment even though I was just happy to finally be getting addressed. It seemed as if it had been three millennials since I'd woken up here.
"Yes, unfortunately," I admitted, suppressing the urge to tug at the frog-patterned fabric. "I haven't exactly had the chance to change into more suitable clothing."
Catelyn exchanged a knowing glance with her husband and then turned to the guards standing nearby. "Fetch some appropriate attire for our guest," she commanded, her tone brooking no argument. As the guards scurried off, I couldn't help but wonder what sort of garments I would be provided with. Would they be medieval gowns or practical attire for a woman in a position of influence?
The uncertainty added a touch of excitement to my awkward situation.
Minutes ticked by, and the room filled with a curious silence. The guards returned, bearing a bundle of garments. Catelyn gestured for them to approach, and they presented the clothes to me with a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. I unraveled the bundle, revealing a simple yet elegant gown in shades of deep blue and silver.
It was a stark contrast to my vibrant frog pajamas, and I couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude toward Catelyn and her thoughtful gesture. With newfound determination, I turned to face the assembled company, ready to take on the challenges that lay ahead. No longer confined by my attire, I was prepared to prove my worth in this foreign world. My eyes brimmed with unshed tears and I grinned as passionately as I could.
"This is so pretty" I emphasized, not caring to hide my own childishness and giving Ned, Catelyn, and the guards who carried to over to me a look of amazement "I don't know what time it is or what's going with everyone currently, but I can give a piece of my foreknowledge. All of your children should take classes with me. I can teach them invaluable things, and you can sit in on said lessons, based on each of their individual futures."
After all, I couldn't just directly spit out the plain fact that they would soon be headed for Kings Landing and need all the help they could get without ending up with my own head on a pike. Not to mention Rob's future, Jon goes to the god-forsaken Wall, and Theon though not technically a Stark get's tortured so hard that I skipped that scene. So Sansa and Arya in Kings Landing would not be the only ones in need of help. Hell, I could possibly save Bran from witnessing the atrocity that is his crippling moment.
The game had changed, and I was an unexpected player in the midst of it all.