Two updates in one day? Unheard of!
But apparently, so is also siding with the Templars in Inquisition and not being a mage when romancing Cullen.
But I digress.
The envy demon was dead. Cole seemed to have vanished; again. I didn't look at anyone as I stalked back to the Keep, where what remained of the Templar Order waited for us.
"Herald? I sincerely apologize for losing countenance amidst the chaos. That was…unfortunate." The noble who had talked to me before everything went to hell, duke what's his name, was speaking to me. "I do hope it won't affect our concord." I almost laughed.
"Don't worry. You're needed." I said lightly.
"Wonderful." He said, although I wasn't sure if he meant it or not. He bowed, backing away as Ser Barris walked up to me.
"Andraste be praised, she shielded you from its touch." The young Templar who had helped us said, coming up to me first. He went back to the others. "We've numbers across Thedas, but we let this happen. Our officers either failed to see this coming, or were complicit." The bitterness in his voice spoke volumes. Then he turned to me again. "The Templars are ready to hear what the Inquisition needs of us."
I looked down at my feet, remembering everything that I had seen while I battled the envy demon inside my head. I felt my stomach churn, remembering the likeness of Leliana slitting Cullen's throat, how Cullen raged in his cell about how I had let the Inquisition become a butcher's pit…seeing Cassandra kneel next to someone, listening to their story on how I led an army of demons to Val Royeaux. Everything that could happen…I turned pointedly towards the Breach; far off in the cloudy sky, but there nevertheless. I considered it for a moment before turning back to the Templars, emotion welling up inside me as I began to speak.
"The Breach is the real threat that Thedas faces." I began, ignoring the clenching feeling in my gut. "Hope will not make it go away. Ignoring it will surely doom us all." I let my eyes cross over everyone I could see, lingering for a moment on the faces of the people I brought with me; Solas, Varric, Blackwall. I knew Solas wouldn't like the idea of a full alliance with the Templars, but I knew what was right, in my heart, after having seen what I had. "Join the Inquisition. We can help the Order rebuild, be true to it's calling. Help us seal the Breach once and for all." I waited for the answer.
"Very well. We shall head to Haven immediately." Came the answer, and the Templars cheered, probably exhausted after fighting the Red Templars (I knew I was), but also probably glad to know that they were on the right path again. I couldn't help but think of Cullen, how gallant and true he was to the cause of the Inquisition. I smiled slightly at them before Knight-Templar Barris excused himself as he and the other lieutenants began preparations to leave.
"Let's go." I said wearily, casting a look at my friends. "I want to get out of here."
"Herald-" Solas caught up to me, and I looked at him.
"Solas. I know what you're going to say." I looked down at my feet, not being able to bear his disappointment. Then I hugged him. "I'm just glad you're alright." I whispered, feeling him stand stock-still. I didn't care, I had just needed to physically feel someone that didn't involve stabbing them to death. I released him, ignoring the pink tint in Solas' cheeks, and the looks Blackwall and Varric wore. I looked at them as well. "I'm just glad we're all alright." I said quietly.
"You alright?" Varric asked gently, and again the images of the Envy demon tore through my mind. I smiled though.
"For now, yes. Let's get back as fast as we can. The Breach can't wait."
-.-.-.-.-
I headed straight for the War Room when I returned to Haven. I still hadn't spoken to Cullen since our little…incident that night after the tavern. We had left for Therinfal Redoubt so quickly though no one had really had the time to notice. While passing through the Hinterlands I had met Warden Blackwall, and that was easily taken care of. So now, I stood pacing the War Room by myself, staring at the map in front of me. I glared at the piece that stood over Haven. Without thinking, I reached for one of my throwing knives, and forcefully, angrily, drove the knife into Haven on the map, right as the others entered. My hand was still on the knife as I glanced up at the shocked faces of Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen.
"Do come in." I said lightly, slowly releasing my hand as they slowly filed in. Cassandra shut the door.
"Elia?" Josephine asked gingerly, and I refused to look at them. Instead, I turned to face the wall behind me.
"We must close the Breach, as soon as possible." I said, staring at the Andrastian symbol emblazoned on the wall.
"The Templars are sending their veterans ahead of the rest to help us with that-" Cullen began, but I cut him off.
"I saw things." I began, feeling that they all had a right to know what I saw in the Envy demon's trap. "The Envy demon showed me what we could become. What I could become." I knew my voice was shaking, and I hugged myself. "It was just a demon's trap, of course. But it was so real." I whispered the last part, turning around to face them as I did so. I searched everyone's face; I tried not to linger on Cullen. I couldn't stop the dull ache in my chest as I remembered the way his body had slid to the ground, blood spouting from his throat, covering his chest, sticking to my hands as I tried to stop it-
"Nothing you saw will happen." Cassandra's firm voice shook me from my thoughts, and I looked at her. She was smiling at me, softly. "We will not allow it."
"I read the report you sent us, however brief it was." Leliana's voice drew my attention to her. "We will close the Breach as soon as the Templars arrive, which should be in a few hours."
"I recommend you rest, Elia." Josephine's voice was soft.
"No." I said, letting my arms drop to my sides. They all seemed surprised at the sound of determination in my voice. "Cassandra is right. What I saw…I will not allow it to happen." I was surprised at the fierceness in my voice as my eyes caught Cullen's. I made a promise to myself in that fleeting moment, that I could not let such a man as he to die the way he had in my vision of what could be. "I have to be ready for the assault on the Breach." Suddenly, a burst of smoke came from the war table, and we all jumped back as Cole was suddenly sitting on it, eyeing the knife I had stabbed into it, now in his hands, quite curiously.
"They're almost here. Templars don't like to be late." His voice was calm, like it had been in the dream.
"Maker!" Cassandra and Cullen drew their swords at almost the same time, both rushing to be at my side. Cullen stood closer to me probably then he should have, holding his sword straight in front of him, ready to strike down Cole-
"Wait!" I jumped, trying to calm both the Seeker and Commander.
"I came with you to help. I would have told you before, but you were busy." If the tension in the room wasn't obvious, I would have laughed a little.
"That's fine Cole." I said, raising my hands to try to lower the blades on either side of me. "You just startled us is all, appearing out of thin air."
"I wasn't air, I was here." I felt my heart stop. "You didn't see me. Most people don't until I let them."
"Call the guards." Cassandra said, even as Cole got off the table to stand up. "This creature is not what you-"
"Hold on Cassandra. I would like to know why he came." Leliana's voice cut in.
"You help people." Cole looked at me now. "You made them safe when they would have died. I want to do that." Cole kept looking at me, and I knew he meant it. I felt the tension ease in my shoulders; I couldn't help but trust him after he helped me the way he had. "I can help."
"Why and how would you help the Inquisition?" I asked, more for everyone else's sake then my own. I already trusted him.
"The hole in the sky is too big for spirits to think. It's pulling. Pushing out pain. I want to stop it." The emotion in his voice was true.
"How altruisitic of you." Cassandra's dryness made me shoot her a look.
"I want to help. I can be hard to see. I can kill things that hurt people. I-I won't get in the way." His voice was pleading with me, his face hidden by his ridiculously large hat.
"You can stay Cole." I looked at Cassandra. "He saved my life in Therinfal. I wouldn't have defeated Envy without him."
"But what does he want now?" Cassandra's distrust almost made me want to shout, but I controlled myself.
"I think he really wants to help." I said, trying to stress the words. I wasn't going to let them hurt him.
"I won't be in the way. Tiny, no trouble, no notice taken unless you want me to." His pale blue eyes met mine. "Blood, so much blood. Trying to make it stop but it won't. He can't die-I won't let him. I'll save all of them." Did-did he just read my thoughts out loud?
"Cole-"
"You're not honestly suggesting giving him run of the camp?" Cullen's sour voice made me look at him. He was still so close to me, in such a protective stance, his sword still aimed at Cole's heart…
"Not freely, perhaps, but it seems a waste to-hold on!" Josephine started, and then stopped, as suddenly Cole was gone.
"He does that." I said, trying to get Cassandra and Cullen to lower their swords at the air where Cole had just stood.
"We should see if he can teach that trick to anyone else." Leliana said, obviously impressed with Cole's trick. "I'll have people watch the boy. But let's not be distracted from the Breach."
"We'll need your help when the Templar veterans arrive." Cullen's voice brought my gaze back to him, and he sheathed his sword, his hands resting on the pommel. Take time to prepare while you can." Then he turned and abruptly left the room, leaving me with an overflowing bundle of emotions.
"You'll be able to find me by the lake." I said, leaving. I had to get out of the room. I rushed past the advisors, ignoring the feeling I had seen in Cullen's eyes, the way my heart was pounding, I ducked my head down, determined to walk out of the Chantry with my head held high. Which I did. I realized I didn't want to talk to anyone about what had happened with the Envy demon. I even passed by Cole, who had appeared by the merchant near the gates. I ignored everyone. I simply stalked down towards the lake, ignoring the calls of 'Herald' that I heard, ignoring the soldiers lining up to listen to their Commander speak.
And then I started running, running out across the frozen lake, just needing…to run.
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