Leliana

"Of course I'm right." Aaron declared, rocking back on his seat. "Last thing this country needed was more blood bein' shed and a dead king."

I quieted my anger, forcing my lips to curl upward into an inquisitive smile. "And you blame the wardens for this?"

"I don't like rabble-rousers." he claimed, wife and daughter nodding assent. "I don't like uprootin' my family and draggin' them to Antiva. No good reason for it."

"That, I can understand." I nodded, feeling his pain. "Many times have I been forced to move from place to place. It is at times an unpleasant necessity."

"Aye." Aaron agreed, staring darkly into the fire, grief stamped on his features.

He has lost his son, my heart ached for him. So many pure and good things have been sundered by this cruel event. And my warden is doing all she can to stitch the gaping wounds in the world. They do not see. They do not care. Forgive me, Salem. I did not see this. All I saw was you, my bright and shining...I miss you. Maker's breath, I want you in my arms again.

"You are welcome to stay with us, sister." Lisbeth spoke. "At least until you are reunited with your traveling party. We would be glad of the company."

I looked to Aaron and saw him give his approval. "Be nice to have a companion on the road." he agreed.

"I thank you for and accept your offer." I said with as much grace as I could muster.

It was not simple, not as it had been in Val Royeaux, and even Lothering. I could no longer fabricate a separate personality and sever myself from my beliefs.

This is Salem's influence, I cursed. So upright, so honest, only capable of showing her true face. Amid my world of deceit and chicanery, trust was mocked as a non-existent dream. Marjolaine drilled it into my mind. Trust no one. Give your heart to no one. I made the same mistake...twice. I trusted Marjolaine...I trusted Salem. Only...Salem never betrayed me. The manner in which she lives obliterates every lesson Marjolaine ever taught me. People can be good. People can be trusted. Love...is real.

I rose, needing to be away from these people for a moment. Their animosity against the wardens choked me. I knew it was fueled by ignorance and grief, but that made my situation no easier.

"If I am not mistaken, I hear a stream nearby." I tried to extricate myself from their company, if only for a moment. "I feel the need to wash off the dirt from travel."

"By all means, sister." Aaron waved his arm in the general direction of the stream.

I lifted a branch from the fire to act as an ersatz torch, and walked down to the stream bed. I knelt and soaked my hands in the water, scrubbing at the dried blood still caked underneath and in the beds of my nails. Morrigan's blood. Salem's blood, so beautifully tainted. Life had marked her with a cruel destiny and she had risen to the occasion, becoming the strong, even-tempered leader I had come to love.

Whom I was not strong enough, nor pure enough, to stand beside.

I splashed water on my face, washing away the tears that had caught me unawares. How long will I weep for you? I wondered, already knowing the answer. The rest of my existence. Eternity. Beyond death and into the Fade, I will mourn the loss of you in my life.

Another voice argued in the back of my mind. It told me that I could return; that I could throw myself at Salem's feet and beg her forgiveness, that I could feel her arms around me and bask in her acceptance of my flaws and my scars.

I have gone too far. To return now would be to drive my blade further into Salem's heart. I have been cruel to her; I will not be brutal. I will not wound her further.

"You are no Chantry sister, are you?" a cold voice rang behind me.

Shira, I curved my lips into an innocent smile and turned to face her, I knew she was talented. I did not even hear her approach.

"Of course I am." I removed the Chantry talisman I always wore around my neck, giving her proof of my claims.

A gift from Salem...and such a gift. An emblem of a life I wished to forsake for her. She gave me a security to return to, should the moment that arrived...ever be.

"What reason would I have to lie to you?" I asked, sizing up the young woman before me. Firm muscles, a ready stance. She had trained with weapons, though not extensively. She sought to protect her family in her brother's absence. My heart went out to her.

"You were skulking in the shadows and not at all ill-at-ease with wandering through the woods, though you claimed to be lost." Shira claimed, staring into me with keen grey eyes. "And then you clearly steer the conversation to the topics of political goings on and the actions of the wardens. You're not from Ferelden, either."

Clever, clever girl! I cocked my hip and smiled, knowing that my ruse had been uncovered. "Everything you have said is true," I spoke without the altering of my voice, "though not the first. I am indeed a lay sister of the Chantry."

"And an Orlesian spy!" she exclaimed, pulling a knife and holding it to my throat.

I did not resist. Aaron and Lisbeth had lost too much already. I would not take their daughter from them.

"There is no need for violence." I lifted my hands, showing her that they were empty. Do not press this, I prayed, I will kill you if my hand is forced. "I intend no harm to your family or this country. I am but a traveler who is grateful for the kindness of strangers in dark times. If you wish, I will make my excuses and depart."

Damn it! I swore, internal. Those were Salem's words...in my voice. Her calm, her presence of mind, her desperation to end the violence and the bloodshed that has run rampant in this land. She is within me so deeply that I do not know my own self separate from her.

In answer, Shira pressed the blade deeper. "Why are you here?" she demanded. "This place is deserted. You must be running from something."

I am, but it is not what you perceive. I...I am so weary of running.

Moving faster than most had any right, I clutched her wrist and twisted her arm behind her back, forcing her to drop her dagger to the ground. If I moved one fraction of an inch, her arm would be broken and shoulder dislocated simultaneously.

"You have seen more than most." I accorded her a triumph, keeping my voice calm. "But you cannot even tell if I am lying. You have no reason to believe me. Therefore, I must subdue you if we both wish to walk away from this with our lives. I am not your enemy, Shira."

"We heard rumors that Orlais was sending spies." Shira gasped out from between clenched teeth. "Ferelden is weakened. Your accent is reason enough for any city to see you hang."

This country is not safe for me any longer. I realized. If I am not with Salem and her mission, then I cannot risk opening my mouth to any, lest they react like this girl.

"You do not stand a chance against me." I informed her. "But I am going to let you go. If you reach for your knife or try to harm me in any way, I promise you more pain. Do we have an accord?"

"We do." she spat.

I relinquished my grasp and she stood, flexing her shoulder and rubbing her arm. In a show of trust, I lifted her knife from the ground and extended it, hilt first. She wrenched it from my hand, unhappy that she had been bested.

I opened my mouth to speak when I heard the horses scream. A new scent choked the air, death and fear and blood. Fresh blood. Tainted blood. I would know that stench anywhere.

"Darkspawn." I whispered.

I had never faced the creatures without a warden at my side. My bow had been left behind at camp...all I had were my daggers.

"What do we do?" Shira asked, turning from enemy to ally in a blink.

What Salem would do.

"We have to protect your family." I breathed.

As soon as the words left my mouth, we were running for the camp. Maker protect me, I prayed. Salem...I wish you were here.