I'm too lazy to come up with another author's note... sorry XD

Please enjoy this chapter, review, and I'll hopefully have a better sense of mind next week XD

I'll answer reviews in the next chapter.

~Sunechirei

Full Chapter Title: STUF

I'd been avoiding everyone but Axel and Sora, really, and the only reason I talked to them is because I was currently living with them.

It'd been almost a week since my little journey to Hallow Bastion, but I didn't have the nerve to talk to my mom. Axel told me it was fine, but Sora said I was being a baby and should just get the talk over with.

I punched him for that.

Or, tried to, but he grabbed my wrist and flipped me on my back, muttering under his breath about weaklings. I wasn't happy with him about that. But I suppose he had every reason in the world to be pissed. He and Riku had gotten into a fight a few days back, and I mean a really bad fight. Sora still had bruises all over his face, and Axel told me that Riku looked about the same.

No one actually knew what they'd gotten into a fight about, but the two of them were avoiding each other at all costs, and refused to speak. Or, that's what Axel said. I didn't actually know, as I'd been ditching work for the past week, but I did figure out that if you mentioned Riku's name in front of Sora, you nearly got killed.

I made that mistake one day.

If Axel hadn't been there, I would probably be a pile of dust right now.

Thank God for over protective boyfriends.

Anyway, I really didn't want to have that one conversation that everyone was begging me to have with my stupid mother. I guess I was still pissed at her for both lying, and saying she couldn't accept me dating Axel. But in a way, there was this underlying feeling of fear. She was probably going to tell me something I really didn't want to hear.

So, I convinced myself that I didn't need to talk to her, and I could live the rest of my life never seeing her again. It was the best thing I could do so I wouldn't do anything rash.

And yet, after a week, I was standing in my parent's house, outside the living room, trying to force my hand to open the frikin' door.

Why was I standing there?

Because Sora was fucking scary when he was pissed.

I had been doing absolutely nothing wrong when he suddenly came storming into the kitchen, grabbed me by the collar, and dragged me to the doorway. When I asked him what the hell he was doing and what he wanted, he screamed, "STUF!"

That's right, "STUF." I thought he meant, "STFU," you know, "shut the fuck up," but no. He meant what he said. "Shut the up fuck."

I don't know either.

But, before I could ask Sora if he'd gone insane or something, he shoved me out the front door.

"You, Roxas, have become a selfish, lazy ass, baby who needs to fucking grow up. Get the hell out of here and go talk to your goddamn mother before I fucking murder you!" He had yelled this at me before slamming the door in my face. I honestly think he was just taking his anger at Riku out on me, because honestly I'd done nothing to him at all. I stayed out of his way, I only really talked to Axel, and he didn't seem to mind my being there at all until he got the crap beaten out of him by Riku.

I still wanted to know what they were fighting about.

But yeah, that's how I ended up outside of the living room in my house.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to the room and low and behold, my mother was sitting at the piano, writing a few notes on a piece of music. She didn't seem to hear me when I walked in, as she plucked at the keys for a moment, testing a small tune I vaguely recognized. It was something she used to play for me when I was little.

"Mom?"

Instantly, the music stopped. Mom looked up at me, eyes wide with surprise. I smiled hesitantly and waved.

"Roxas? I thought... I didn't think... I-"

"You were convinced I would never come back and I didn't want to talk to you?" She nodded slowly. "Well, I do feel that way, but..." I trailed off and looked down at my feet. It wasn't until I heard Mom's footsteps right next to me that I looked up again. She had a sad look in her eye, but at the same time, a smile on her face.

"I wonder... I wonder when it was you stopped being my little boy," she muttered. "You've grown up so much, Roxas. I didn't even realize that until a few months ago when I saw you here with Axel, right before Naminé left. But even then I didn't want to admit that my baby had grown up."

I was speechless as Mom reached up her arms and wrapped them around my neck, pulling me into a hug.

"I have so much trouble letting things go."

I pushed her away.

"Mom, I really want to know why you didn't tell me. Why, for nineteen years you lied to me, and Dad, for that matter." I think it was about then that I made the connection. All of their arguments, and Mom's secrets. Dad knew she was keeping them, and he wanted her to tell him. That's why they had been fighting a lot.

She said nothing, only moving to the couch and sitting on it. I watched quietly and she beckoned for me to join her. I sighed and sat in one of the reclining chairs across from the couch.

"Roxas, do you know what it was like for me, to keep that secret from both of you?"

I wanted to say yes, just to piss her off, but Aerith's words kept my mouth shut.

"The things she's gone through... well, you will never even begin to understand the kinds of pain she's felt."

"No. I don't."

"It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Aerith and Zack are like the parents I lost that day... I couldn't just let them go. I couldn't lose another piece of my family, but Cloud wanted me to. In a way he was being selfish, wanting me to let go of everything I had during those eight years, but that's just who he is."

I had to laugh a little bit. "Aren't you the one who was being selfish by wanting to see them?"

"Yes, in a way. But they were my family, Roxas. I had no one else but them, them and Cloud. You understand, don't you? Having a relationship that a person close to you doesn't want you to have?"

Bowing my head, I nodded slightly, and suddenly, I understood her more. Even if she never approved, and if Hayner never talked to me again, I would still want to be with Axel. That must be how she felt.

"But why did you lie to me about what happened?" I asked, clenching my fists. This was the one question I'd been wanting an answer to. Sure, knowing why she "couldn't accept" me being with Axel was up there, but not the top. Not right then.

"Nineteen years ago," she said, "when you were born, I decided that I didn't want you to know how much of a weakling I was. I didn't want my son to know that I'd been too pathetic to deal with my life. I wanted to be a good example for you, like your father was. All the stuff that's happened to me..." her voice cracked slightly, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. "I didn't want you to hate me. So I promised myself, and I made Cloud promise as well, that we wouldn't tell you anything, that we would raise you to think that we were normal."

I wanted to speak, but it seemed Mom had only finished a small bit of what she wanted to say.

"Every day you were growing up, I was afraid that you would someday find out the truth, and I debated telling, but something kept me back. I thought that if I told you, then something bad would happen. Maybe you would seek out your god-parents and get hurt, or... I don't even know. But soon, even just thinking of telling you would strike fear in my heart, and I couldn't. I should have. I know I should have, but I couldn't. I'm so sorry, Roxas."

Her tears kept her from saying anything else, so I decided it was time for me to step in, and say, "It's okay, Mom." I guess my saying this made her feel relief, because she started laughing. I still felt somewhat betrayed, but I also had this nagging guilt in my gut. Mom had her own issues, her own demons, and it wasn't my place to demand that she tell them all to me.

I was glad it was out in the open, though, but now that just left one more thing to deal with.

"What about me and Axel? Why did you say you couldn't accept us." Her answer to this wasn't immediate. In fact, I think it was a couple of minutes before she finally did say anything.

"I don't actually know," she said slowly, looking away from me. "I guess I was in denial that my only son could be in love with another man. I mean, I always knew, but I thought that maybe it was just a fling, and that it wouldn't be serious, but it's been six months now... and you told me, to my face." So, she was just being a weirdo... yeah, that made sense. "Then, when I thought about it more, I kept thinking that Axel wasn't right for you. I don't know why it was, but there's just something about him that makes me thinks you'll only get hurt in the end."

"I'm not going to get hurt," I suddenly protested, standing up. "And even if I do, then that's my issue, not yours!"

"You're right. Which is why I'm telling you this now: Good luck, Roxas. I hope you and Axel are really happy together."

I froze. She was accepting this? Everything was turning out well all of a sudden, and it made me happy. But then there was something else I had to do, something I just decided I needed to do. Maybe it was because I was a bit hurt, or because the past week had probably been the most fun I'd had in a long time.

"Mom, I have something I need to tell you."

"What is it, Roxas?" She sounded so fearful, and I knew this wasn't going to make her very happy. But, I had to do this.

"I'm going to move out."