John's chest tightened but smiled still. It wasn't a forced smile, just more of a saddened one.

"Dave..." He brought a hand up to said boy's cheek and rubbed the soft skin there. He had a few sweet freckles that kissed his cheeks here and there, and a few on his nose. John thought they were kind of cute. It reminded him of Dave's being from Texas. He forgets that a lot, considering how much he hates being outside, and how much time he spends on his computer.

"...Are, um, you sure you're okay like this?" John murmured, smiling into Dave's eyes to prove his point. "I want you to enjoy it too... Without worrying whether or not I hate you." He murmured, bringing himself closer to Dave. Gosh his eyes... How could anyone hate them? Then again, John had to keep in mind that he had some time to prepare himself. Dave made such a big deal out of the fact that John couldn't see his eyes, that when the time came for the "big reveal"... it really wasn't much to look at. SO they were red. He could have had NO eyes or something, THEN John would have understood the hype.

However, other people probably did get the hype. They probably just saw Dave's eyes and were afraid. Heck, he could see their point. Even if he personally saw them as some of the most gorgeous eyes he ever saw.

"I just want to make sure you're okay, if we decide to go any further." He smiled warmly.

John had the prettiest smile and Dave found it cute how worried he seemed about him. He responded to John's inquiry with a nod. He was definitely ready. God, he'd been ready before Bro had even bought him tickets. Bro...

Dave remembers their talk at the airport and Bros' last gift before Dave got on the plan. This memory makes Dave blush.

"Oh, John...Bro gave me something...just in case this were to happen and its happening." He said, looking towards his bag.

John had to think about it for a moment before he understood suddenly what he meant. "O-Oh Gosh I hadn't even thought about that!" The dark haired teen bushed, peeking at Dave's bag. "Heh... Well I guess that means you get to be on top, Dave."

Dave's eyes widened for a split second, but he quickly regained his 'cool kid' exterior and gave John a smirk. "Lay on your back." He instructed as he sat himself up. Red eyes stared into the blue hues that were John Egbert's. "Come on." He grinned. "I'll be gentle."

John slowly lay back on to his back as per instructed, trailing his hands up Dave's shirt to indicate what he wanted.

"I trust you, Dave. I know you'll be gentle." He murmured, tracing his fingers along Dave's chest and slowly moving his hands to tug at the boys sleeves. He could only imagine what Dave could look like behind his clothes... if it was anything like seeing his eyes for the first time, he couldn't help but get giddy from just THINKING about it.

"I'll take off mine if you take off yours~"

John slowly lay back on to his back as per instructed, trailing his hands up Dave's shirt to indicate what he wanted.

John took a moment to himself, not moving his hands but staring at what they were places upon. These... These were self-harm markings... Weren't they? Gosh there were so...MANY...more than John could have ever imagined could fit on one person's arm... How...How long had this been going on?

John pulled away from Dave entirely, shying apart as he slowly lifted the hem of his t-shirt. "D...Dave do you remember this?" John asked lowly, shyly, and a bit irate and hurt all at the same time. He lifted his shirt up, showing himself to another man for the first time ever...but not under the circumstances he would have liked.

The darker haired boy finally, gingerly pulled his t-shirt off to match Dave's presence...shrugging his right shoulder forward to indicate three specific scars right below his shoulder. "I...I was too scared to do anymore...it hurt too much and I...I got better, right after this, and I got closer to m...my dad...so I wasn't sad anymore..." He whispered, eyes welling up. "Remember I told you about this?" He practically squeaked near the end there, hurt and a little betrayed if Dave couldn't catch his drift. "How could you not tell-" He bit his lip, looking away. "Dave oh my God I can't-" He bit back a sob, trying his best not to lose himself in all the emotion.

Dave crosses his arms over his chest as if it would make an invisible barrier between him and the very enraged John. Dave clenched his teeth tightly together as he tried to figure out a way to explain himself to John. The albino found this task to be rather difficult under Egbert's fiery gaze.

"John, look...it...it wasn't the same as when you told me. You told me because, well, you knew you were depressed. I...didn't really see it that way until Bro and I talked about it and by that time...I didn't see a reason to burden you with my...problem."

Dave had never felt so naked, so exposed to someone before. It was unsettling and he wanted to get past the feeling as soon as he could.

"Plus, I was more excited to tell you about my visit than I was...you know." He murmured, arms still tight against his chest.

"Dave this isn't just something you started doing a few days ago this has been going on for YEARS and you never told me!" He blurted, upset. "I can tell, you know! I-I can't believe when I asked you if you ever understood what I was going through you lied and said, and you know what? I can QUOTE 'nah man, I have no idea what that feels like, my life is pretty great.'" He glared, more saddened than enraged. "Even if it was meant to be sarcastic I-I can't BELIEVE you /saw/ my scars and didn't tell me you were doing it too!"

John covered his shoulder with one of his hands, looking away again before meeting Dave's, literally now that he knew what color they were, fiery eyes. "I thought you were my best friend..."

"John, come on. We are best friends and...I'm really kinda hoping to be more than that." He murmured, but shook his head shortly after the statement.

"Yeah, it's been going on for a few years...I...Jesus John, how do I make you understand? It became so routine, I didn't even see it as a problem. I...John, come on." He tried to beg as he took a few painful swallows.

John took a deep breath and shook his head, betrayal sinking deep into his chest despite any part of him that wanted to believe in Dave. "How could you not know it's a problem when you-you have to hide it and it's blood and-" He bit his lip, deciding maybe he didn't know what he was talking about after all.

"...I...I can't believe you didn't tell me." He stuck with, welled up eyes finally letting loose a few tears out of anger and sadness. "Real friends, friends who could have perhaps been MORE than friends, would have told them about this if they were sad or-or depressed. I told YOU."

Dave was frustrated at this point. How the hell could he explain it to the stubborn boy without sounding like a jerk? Maybe...he was a jerk for not telling John. Maybe he should have told his best friends. He never thought it was something to bring up. He saw it as a daily routine at the time. Come home, get a snack, take out the trash, cut, message his friends, etc. He didn't tell John all of that stuff and at the time he didn't see why cutting was any different.