6

So, I've decided that people are screwed up and disgusting. The reason why? I read The Crucible today. Anyone who's read that play will understand. For those of you who haven't; it's a play written in the 1950's that takes place during the Salem Witch Trials. It's disturbing. The kids do something that makes some of them sick, and then they begin blaming women in the town, saying they've been affecting by witchcraft.

Now, it's not a completely true story, but the worst part of it all, is that it's supposed to symbolize how the "Are you, or have you ever been communist," time is similar to the Salem Witch Trials.

And that's what makes me sick. I suggest you read that play. It's not hard. I read it in an hour. And it will open your eyes.

Oh, I also saw my uncle (who's a but scientist) manhandle some weird ass bugs. Today was an interesting day...

Anyway, messed up chapter this week... it's a bit early because I'm currently not home, and I won't be able to have internet at/around midnight. Get over it :P

So, I'll have another chapter for you next week, but maybe not the week after that because the chapter after next is about 40 pages long and will take a while to beta. Sorry. Also, thanks for those who have answered the poll. I appreciate it.

I'll see you guys next week!

~Sunechirei

Full Chapter Title: Analogies are lies grown-ups tell

It had been two weeks since Axel disappeared. The note he'd written had been read so many times it was no longer legible, but Ellie still held it in her hands, trying to decipher the words on the page. She was racking her brain, trying to figure out why Axel would suddenly leave, without even telling her where he was going.

Even though she already knew where Axel was going. She'd just had a conversation with him about it. Just warned him that he was getting in over his head, but he still left. He still vanished in the middle of the night, leaving Roxas alone with the note.

I have something to do. I don't know when I'll be back. Don't come looking for me. I love you. ~Axel

Ellie bowed her head, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. She was at work, she shouldn't be showing such emotions, and yet the fact that her best friend, and cousin, had gone off to find his father was really affecting her.

She began to doubt that she could come to work anymore.

The memory of Roxas calling her two weeks ago began to appear in her head, and Ellie tried to shake it away.

But it wouldn't leave.

"Roxas? Why are you callin-"

"Axel's gone."

"What?"

"Axel! He's gone!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He was here last night, and then he wasn't here when I woke up, and he left a note saying he has something to do and not to look for him!"

Roxas had sounded on the verge of tears when he called. He obviously wanted Ellie to tell him what was going on, and that Axel was just joking around, but Ellie hung up before she could say anything else. She didn't want Roxas to know how much she was panicking.

"Ellie?" Kairi was suddenly in Ellie's office, and Ellie looked up, surprised, clenching the note tightly.

"Can I help you?" Ellie tried to keep her voice from cracking, attempting to sound professional. Not that it would matter. Kairi had been there when Ellie got the call from Roxas, and she had seen how upset Ellie was, and heard the rants about how stupid Axel was being and he should just let his past go.

Let it go and move on with his life.

"Riku's really worried about you," Kairi said, sitting down in a vacant chair in front of Ellie's desk. Ellie groaned. "I'm serious! He thinks you're going to drive off a cliff or something."

"Drive off a cliff?"

"You and Roxas. Both of you are really upset right now, and it's worrying." Kairi grabbed Ellie's hand that held the note. "Cloud's already sent Roxas home for the day. I think you should follow suit."

Ellie was speechless. She had never gone home early. She always stayed, no matter how many issues she was having in her social life. Keep work and home separate. That's the rule she lived by. After a few moments of awkward silence, Ellie stood up.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm perfectly fine."

Kairi just shook her head. "Hun, you look horrible, you don't talk to anyone anymore, and you haven't let that note go since Roxas gave it to you." She paused for a minute. "I think it's time for you to go home, and Cloud agrees with me." Standing up, Kairi smiled slightly. "Riku's going to be here soon to take you home. Okay?"

Ellie couldn't believe this was happening. Never in her life had she been sent home before. She never showed weakness in front of other people, never cried, never let people know she was hurt, or sick, or upset... nothing. For a second, she wondered if Axel disappearing was affecting her more than she originally thought.

"Get some sleep, Ellie. Axel will be back soon," Kairi said in a reassuring voice. "It's going to be okay."

"Why did this have to happen?" Ellie asked suddenly, collapsing in her chair. "Why did Axel have to leave now? Right when things were finally looking up?"

Kairi smiled. "You would know better that I would."

"Yeah... I guess so."

"Have you heard from-"

"No Roxas, I haven't. If I'd heard from him, I would have told you," Ellie muttered. She was walking in the parking garage with Riku, heading to his car so he could drive her home. Mr. Strife had come to her office earlier, a rare occurrence, and let Ellie know that she was officially on leave from work for a while. This didn't sit well with Ellie. Riku had to drag her out of the office.

And now Roxas was calling her, asking if she'd heard from Axel. Again.

"Okay... sorry to bug you." Then he hung up. Roxas didn't talk very often anymore. He just came to work, did what he was supposed to, and left. He didn't talk to anyone, or even leave his office until he was done. Ellie was surprised Mr. Strife hadn't done anything before now.

"Is Roxas..."

"He's fine." Ellie cut Riku off on purpose, not really wanting to talk to him. She didn't want to talk to anyone, actually.

"And you-"

"Fine."

"Yeah, sure you are. That's why-"

"Let's just go."

"-you won't let me finish my sentence."

Ellie just continued walking, not really caring that Riku was obviously irritated with her. Or, she didn't care until he grabbed her arm and spun her around so she faced him. She was too surprised to really react act as Riku pulled her into a hug.

"Ellie, stop acting like this. Please, tell me what's going on with you! I know you're upset by the whole thing, but you won't tell anyone." He hugged her tighter. "I thought you were going to start talking to me more."

"Riku, please, let me go," Ellie muttered, her voice cracking.

"No."

It was too much for Ellie. She let go of all the fears, all the anger, all the pain and betrayal that she felt when she found out about Axel.

She let it all go, and cried.

Ellie didn't remember much about what happened after she began to cry. One second, she knew she was sobbing into Riku's shirt, allowing him to whisper words of comfort to her, then she was waking up in his bed with a splitting headache. Vague memories of Riku picking her up and carrying her to his car were there, as well as falling asleep next to Riku's warm body.

But that was it.

Nothing else was there. No memories of coming to Riku's apartment, or driving, or having a conversation with Riku.

Absolutely nothing.

"Feeling any better?" Ellie jumped. She hadn't realized Riku was in the room, much less standing right beside her. Quickly, she sat up and pulled the blanket up to her chin, feeling embarrassed for having cried her eyes out in front of Riku. "That's good," he said with a small laugh. The bed creaked as he sat on the edge of it, hands clenching in the sheets tightly.

"I'm sorry," Ellie managed to mutter, looking away. "I didn't mean to just cry like that."

"It's fine."

"No! I shouldn't have lost my composure like that, and then to have you bring me here instead of home..." Ellie trailed off, blushing from embarrassment. Riku just laughed, then glanced over at Ellie with soft eyes.

"I wanted that to happen. You know that right?" Ellie's shocked expression seemed to amuse him. "There have only been a few times that I've seen you really have some kind of emotional break, Ellie. In five years, only three times: after Axel and Roxas got in that car crash, when you told me about your parents, and a few hours ago."

"So?"

"Do you know what Kairi used to tell me when we were younger?"

"You're not making any sense, Riku. What does that have to do with-"

"Hiding your emotions isn't good for you."

Ellie scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I don't hide my emotions!"

"Sure you don't."

"I don't! I alway-" Ellie started to say, but suddenly Riku leaned over and kissed her, shutting her up immediately.

"Haven't been able to do that in a while," Riku whispered after pulling away. Ellie could only sit there, red in the face, stuttering to herself. She hadn't been expecting Riku to do that. It was true though, that Riku hadn't kissed Ellie for two weeks. She'd been too distracted to really spend any time with him.

"Riku... I'm sorry."

"Why do you keep apologizing to me? You don't have a reason to apologize."

"I-" Ellie stopped, looking down at her hands. "I don't know why... I've just..." She sighed. She couldn't even think straight with the headache pounding in her skull. This was one of the reasons she never cried. It brought too much pain, both physically and mentally.

"So," Riku started to say, "what is it about Axel that sets you off so much? I mean, I know you guys are close, but it's like you're in love with him or something." Riku looked completely serious, but Ellie couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous that notion was. "I'm not joking, Ellie. I know you guys met in the orphanage, but what made the two of you so close?"

Ellie didn't know how to respond. How could she explain to Riku her relationship with Axel? Was it possible to explain to him how much she cared about Axel? How she was the one who found Axel in the streets on the snowy night? How the two of them were outcasted by the others in the orphanage? Could she tell him how life when they were kids was awful, and the only people they had were each other?

Could she tell him?

Suddenly, there was a hand on Ellie's cheek. She glanced up to see Riku watching her curiously, waiting for her to answer him. She sighed and pushed him away, turning her back to him.

"You know that my parents died when I was four, right?"

"Yeah..."

"And that I met Axel not long after that in the orphanage, after he was found by the authorities?"

"Ellie, you already told me all this."

"Yeah, well it's not true."

"Uh huh- wait, what?"

Slipping out of bed, Ellie headed over to the door. Riku followed her quickly, calling out that she needed to stop and explain what she had just said, but Ellie didn't really want to do it. She didn't want to tell him about it. And yet, she had to.

"Ellie, why did you say that then and then suddenly leave the room?" Riku asked. "Oh wait, you're probably hungry. Kairi told me you haven't been eating well, and you slept through dinner, and-"

"Wow, Riku, you sound like some kind of pathetic house wife. I'm not hungry, I just feel like I'm suffocating in the room," Ellie said, trying not to laugh. She walked over to the couch closest to the door and sat down. Riku followed suit.

"Okay... so, what did you mean that it wasn't true? That's the story Axel tells as well."

Ellie mused this for a while, then shook her head. "I don't really know why Axel made that part up. I guess he was just embarrassed..."

"About what?"

"That I found him."

"What?" Riku looked like he didn't believe what Ellie was saying, but he didn't say else as she continued her story.

"I was in the orphanage for three months, and I was getting really sick of everything that had to do with people. So, on Christmas Eve, I decided I was going to run away from the orphanage. I decided that since I was going to be five the next day, I could take care of my self for while living on the streets. Of course, I didn't realize that it was going to be really cold, and snowing that evening."

"Wait, wait," Riku interrupted, holding up a hand. "You actually did something so stupid?"

"Riku, I'm trying to tell a story. Yes, I did something stupid. Despite what Roxas says, I'm only human."

"Oh... okay... then..."

"Anyway, I was walking down the streets of Hallow Bastion, feeling really sorry for myself when I head a noise. It sounded like someone crying. I didn't want to know who it was, because I thought it was just some snot nosed kid who was feeling sorry for themselves. But, I ended up running into them anyway. It was a little boy, younger than me, with red hair."

"Axel?"

"Riku, don't make me tell you to shut up again."

"Sorry."

"He was curled into ball in some back alley, shivering, whimpering. At first I thought he was just an idiot, but when I looked closer, I saw he was really skinny, like he hadn't eaten anything in a long time. I decided to wake him up so I could ask him what was going on, but he wouldn't wake up. I got scared. He reminded me of how my parents were. So, I gave him my coat and ran off to find someone who would help me."

Ellie paused, trying to compose herself. Just thinking about how Axel looked, with his ragged clothing, tiny body, chest barely rising. She had been convinced he was going to die.

"You okay?" Riku asked. "You don't have to-"

"Anyway, I ran into a lady who worked at the orphanage, and I brought her back with me to where Axel was. She brought us back to the orphanage, and everything seemed fine, but Axel got really sick. Malnourished, with hypothermia. Not a good combination in a three year old boy. The head of the orphanage brought him to the hospital closest to where we lived. I tagged along. I guess I felt responsible for him. So while I was there, strangely enough, I met my adoptive father, Ansem. Apparently, he was an actual doctor for years before becoming a scientist."

"Wait," Riku interrupted again. Ellie glared at him, not enjoying the fact that she'd been interrupted, but he ignored her this time, continuing on. "So, you met the guy who ended up adopting you because Axel got sick?"

"That's what I said."

"So, was he looking to adopt someone before that, or-"

"He always told me that he wanted to adopt, but he was too busy to deal with the paper work." Ellie smiled sadly, thinking of the conversation where Ansem had told her all of this. "But, it seems that when he saw me in the hospital, I reminded him of someone, and he decided then he wanted to adopt me."

"So, it wasn't some weird-"

"Nope. He also wanted to adopt Axel, take care of him, but his brother, Xemnas, got to it before he could."

Riku looked completely lost. "Okay then..."

"Don't worry about it. It's not important."

"Hm..." Riku muttered something under his breath, like he was trying to decide what to ask Ellie next. "I guess that kinda answers why you guys are close. You did save his life, but you seem to be too close for just that to have happened."

Ellie leaned her head back against the couch, closing her eyes. She'd hoped that if Riku found out how they were adopted, and that she and Axel met because he was about to die in a snowstorm, then Riku would leave her alone. But of course, that wouldn't happen. She should have known.

"I was there when Axel woke up. Ansem was in the room as well, getting ready to examine Axel for cuts and bruises that had been missed, just to make sure he didn't have any other real health issues. Do you know what the first thing Axel did when he woke up was?"

"No..."

"When he woke up, he saw Ansem first, and he curled into a ball, pulling the blankets over his head, crying; 'Don't hurt me. I'm sorry, don't hurt me Daddy'."

The silence that filled the room after Ellie said this was sickening. Ellie was too afraid to see what Riku's reaction to that sentence was, even though she could guess that he was startled, and probably disgusted that that was the first thing a kid would say. Despite what Riku let on, he loved children a lot, like Sora. He would never admit it to someone, though.

Finally, Ellie chanced a peek at the man sitting next to her, and was surprised to see him sitting there with a blank expression on his face.

"Riku?"

"His dad..." That seemed to be all Riku could manage to say. "Never mind. Continue."

"O-Okay." Ellie didn't know what to do. Riku's reaction to that was interesting, to say the least, but she didn't have time to comment on it. "After a while, Ansem and a nurse were able to calm Axel down, but he wouldn't talk to anyone. Vexen came in and examined him, having been a psychiatrist back then, and he said that Axel was most likely traumatized to the point where he could no longer trust men, and that he was afraid of them."

Riku found his voice this time. "Afraid of men? Axel? What?"

"I know, hard to believe, isn't it," Ellie said. "He obviously isn't anymore, and according to him it's thanks to Roxas that he no longer has any issues with it, but who knows. All that matters is for seven years after I found Axel, he hardly ever talked to a male. I mean, he didn't really talk anyway, but it was worse if the conversation was with a guy. I guess you could say I felt sorry for him, and that's why I began really talking to him. In the hospital, he and I played games together, and even though he was a hell of a lot smarter than I was, even back then, I enjoyed his company. When he was brought back to the orphanage, before Xemnas and Saïx adopted him, no one would really talk to him because they were afraid of his hair color, so I was the only one who hung around him. Naturally, I got ignored by the others as well.

"Things didn't really improve when we entered elementary school, especially since Axel excelled quickly in school. I guess that tenth graders didn't appreciate the fact that a seven year old could do their homework and pass all their tests without even trying while they struggled with it. Axel became really cocky after a while, and things got really bad with him and other people at school, so Saïx pulled him out to home-school him. I stayed Axel's only friend, just as he stayed mine. No one really liked me. I was the creepy orphan girl with gold eyes and a freak for a cousin. Not a good combination."

"So," Riku said, interrupting Ellie again, "you're basically saying that you and Axel have been pretty much the only two people in your lives, and that's why you're so close?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Ellie laughed, trying to hold back annoying tears. She didn't want to be thinking about this. "Until I met Terra, Ven, and Aqua in high school, I had no friends other than Axel, and Demyx when he decided to stop being a weirdo and actually talk to the two of us."

"That's depressing."

"Is it? I think it's just the way my life is." Ellie smiled, then slid across the couch so she was right next to Riku. "Axel and I have gone through some really weird stuff, Axel more so than I, but we're fine now, right?" As she said this, Ellie realized how untrue it was. If Axel really was okay, then he wouldn't be gone.

"Hm..." Riku wrapped his arms around Ellie and pulled her closer. "So, Axel... why is he gone?"

"You haven't figured it out?"

"Just tell me."

Ellie sighed. "He's gone to Hallow Bastion to find his father, and probably, he wants to get revenge for everything he was put through." Ellie glanced up at Riku. "I tried to tell him to let it go, to just let everything leave, like what I did with the men who killed my parents and sister, but he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't let it go." Tears streamed down her face as she buried it in Riku's chest, ashamed that she was, once again, crying. "And now he's just left. He abandoned Roxas like that, he hurt him, and me, and he won't call, or anything. He's just gone. I don't even know if he'll come back." She clenched Riku's shirt. "Goddammit! Why am I crying again?"

Riku chuckled a bit, then kissed the top of Ellie's head. "Because you care too much."

"Ellie? What are you doing here? Have you been crying?" Roxas asked when he answered the door to his apartment. Ellie was shocked that he had answered it, expecting him to ignore everyone who came to try and talk to him. Maybe he had been at first, but just gave up, or maybe he was stronger than Ellie gave him credit for.

"I need to talk to you about Axel."

Roxas seemed a bit shocked, but he opened the door and let Ellie in. "What do you need to talk about?"

Glancing at her feet, Ellie closed her eyes. "It's about why he left. Where he is. Who he's searching for. And why."