Deceitful Romance
Ch. 29 The Talk
Author's Note: This chapter was extremely hard and emotional to write. I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for reviewing. I appreciate the support.
Cindy
(Elizabeth's point of view)
I was up all night. I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about talking to Jason. I was really nervous. Not only would I be telling him I was inexperienced but I would also have to talk about the rape.
I knew he knew I was raped. I also figured he didn't have any details. Even though it had been over two years it felt like just yesterday in some ways. At times I still felt like that scared little girl.
I don't want Jason to see me as weak. I don't want him to look at me as that scared girl. I don't want him to pity me. I don't want him to see a wounded bird.
I finally got out of bed. It was after ten. I was sure Jason was awake. He was probably waiting on me. I slowly went down stairs. Jason was talking then I heard Sonny. I had turned around to go back upstairs. I thought they were discussing business. Then I heard my name and stopped in my tracks.
"Elizabeth has been through so much. I just don't want to make things worse." Jason said to Sonny.
"I agree it has to be talked about." Sonny said.
"I'm so worried that she'll feel like that's all I want. I want more than sex and sex isn't my biggest concern right now." Jason said.
"Tell her everything." Sonny said.
"I can't yet." Jason said.
"Good morning." I said.
"Oh Liz good morning. I brought over breakfast." Sonny said.
"Thank you." I said smiling.
"Well I have to go I promised Carly and Michael we would spend the day together." Sonny said.
"Good morning." I said kissing Jason.
"Yeah morning." He mumbled against my lips.
"What's the plan for today?" I asked trying not to feel anxious.
"Well I have the day off. I thought we could go for a ride." Jason said.
"Sounds good." I said.
After breakfast Jason took me by my studio. He waited while I got ready. Then we went for our ride. We were both quite. I was sure he was as anxious as I was.
When our ride was over he asked where I wanted to go. I took a deep breath. I told him I wanted to go to the park. We walked in silence. When we got close I lead the way. I went over to the bench.
"Lucky and I were supposed to go to the Valentine's Day dance together. I thought it was a date." I said quietly.
"What happened?" Jason asked equally as soft.
"My Sister Sarah happened. I had a huge crush on Lucky. He had a crush on my sister." I explained.
"Did Sarah like Lucky also?" Jason asked seeming interested.
"No actually she liked Nikalos." I answered with a laugh.
"Wow teenagers." Jason mumbled as I smacked his arm.
"Anyway Sarah thought she was going to the dance with Nikalos. After he flaked she pretty much stole my date." I said.
"What a Witch." Jason said making me laugh.
"She's just use to get her way. She's smart and beautiful." I said.
"Sounds like Carly." Jason and I both laughed.
"Actually they are a lot like. I think you'd like Sarah especially these days." I said.
"Maybe I will meet her someday." Jason said.
"Sounds good." I said.
"What happened next?" Jason asked getting serious again.
"I lied to my Grams and Lucky. I told Grams I was going to the dance with Lucky and I told Lucky I was going with some jock." I said.
"Where did you really go?" Jason asked.
"I went to the movies. When the movie got out it was still too early to go home. I came here." I said as I saw Jason looking around.
"And then?" He asked cringing as though he knew what I was about to say.
"I had popcorn left. I sat on the bench. I started to eat some. Suddenly I felt someone come up be hide me He covered my mouth. I fought so hard. He then pick me up." I said as I started to cry.
"You don't have to." Jason said hugging me.
"Then he took me into the bushes and he raped me. A short time later I crawled out of the bushes. Lucky heard and saw me. He had been looking for me. He knew something bad had happened. I wasn't even aware of what was really going on. I wouldn't let Lucky call the police or take me to the hospital." I said sobbing.
"Thank you Lucky." Jason whispered.
"I had a hard time after that." I said as he nodded.
"Do you know who did it?" Jason asked.
"Uh I don't I mean I didn't then. Please let's just I can't." I said shaking.
"Please tell me Elizabeth." Jason begged holding and comforting me.
"Tom." I whispered.
"Tom who?" He asked confused.
"Tom Yergin. Emily's stalker." I said as I saw his eyes get big.
"I knew I should have killed him." Jason said.
"No Jason. He isn't worth you getting into trouble." I said.
"I can't believe that man." Jason said trying to calm down.
"I've never had sex except the rape." I said.
"I know." Jason said.
"And you're well experienced." I said.
"Are you calling me a slut?" Jason asked making us both laugh and easing the tension.
"Did you make a joke?" I asked still laughing.
"I don't remember before I became Jason Morgan. I learned a lot. Sex isn't that important. It cam cause a lot of issues." Jason said seriously.
"Jason I want to though." I admitted shyly.
"Then you will. When the time is right you'll make love." Jason said.
"I don't want you to regret being with me." I said.
"I couldn't ever feel that way. You are so beautiful and kind. You are much smarter than you give yourself credit for. And you are talented. You are so much more than I deserve." Jason said kissing me.
"You are so much more than you will ever know. You aren't just my best friend. You are my hero, my protector. You didn't just save my life you saved me. You brought me back after losing Lucky. And you helped me." I said.
"We'll take our time. Let's enjoy one another." Jason said.
"When I make love I want it to be with you." I said.
"I'm honored." Jason said.
"Do you see me as damaged?" I asked needing to know.
"No. Do you see me that way?" He asked pointing to his head.
"Never." I answered.
We sat holding each other. Finally we got up together. This is where the past belongs. This bench in this park is where I want to let the past go in every way. I looked at Jason. I knew my present was with him and hopefully we will build a future together.