A/N: Welcome to another of my Family Guy fanfictions! Compared to the previous fanfictions I did, (Sanity and Madness and Adam West Runs for Mayor!), this is not a fan-made Family Guy episode, but instead, a short! This short is actually a little cold open I planned for a different fan-made episode for the Family Guy Fanon, but I instead decided to instead write the cold open for it only as a way for brevity. Anyways, enjoy this small little quickie!
Family Guy
Short
The Art of Golfing
[The short begins on the Brown family's front lawn of their house. Cleveland is setting up golf holes while his wife Loretta brings out their son Cleveland Jr., who's jumping up and down excitedly while she carries a bag of golf clubs on her back]
Cleveland Jr.: What are we doing today, Mama?
Cleveland: Cleveland Jr., today we'll be working on you're golfing skills. While I set up your practice grounds, pick out a good golf club for you.
[Cleveland Jr. complies and goes to the golf bag, with Loretta coming up to Cleveland]
Loretta: Cleveland, are you sure you wanna do this? With Junior's low attention span, I doubt he'll even complete one golf course!
Cleveland: Loretta, trust me. I've seen Junior golfing before with Peter. He just needs the right motivation.
[Cleveland and Loretta then look at Cleveland Jr., who's using the golf club he picked out as a rifle]
Cleveland Jr.: Bang! Bang! I'm gonna be the world's fastest rifle shooter! Bang! Bang! Bang! [laughing]
Loretta: With the child we're raisin' Cleveland, the only motivation that might work is pills!
Cleveland: Humor the boy, okay?
[Cleveland walked up to Cleveland Jr. to snap his attention by to golfing]
Cleveland: Okay, Junior...
[Junior accidentally hits Cleveland's crotch with the golf club while turning to face his dad]
Cleveland: YEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW!
Cleveland Jr.: Sorry, Daddy.
Cleveland: It-It's okay, J-Junior. I'm just gunna take five, and let you mother... teach you.
Loretta: Now Junior, when you're golfing, you wanna keep your shoulders straight and your knees bent. Like this [Loretta gets in a position with the description she gave and pretending she's holding a golf club] Now you try.
Cleveland Jr.: You got it.
[Cleveland Jr. makes a similar pose like Loretta]
Loretta: Hey there you go, Junior! Now, what you wanna do is pay close attention to that golf ball and swing as hard and quickly as you can.
Cleveland: Whoa, whoa whoa! Loretta, I doubt that'll help him with golfing. If he does that he'll just be launching the ball all over the place. Junior, when you're golfing, the best way to swing is softly and slowly as you can.
Loretta: Cleveland, Cleveland, Cleveland. I should have known you would go soft on Junior.
Cleveland: Loretta, I know this'll work. I golfed in the past and swinging soft and slow always got be holes in one and won games.
Loretta: Yeah, sure. Especially since you golf so slowly that your golf friends leave.
Cleveland: You're one to talk Loretta. With your hard swings, you end up damaging car windows. And as always, I'm left to pay window damage.
[As he looks at his two parents begin to argue about who's right for which technique, Cleveland Jr. decides to shrug his shoulders and do his own technique. With him swinging his club and launching the golf ball into one of the Swanson's window. Which take Cleveland and Loretta's attention off of their argument and back to Cleveland Jr.. Inside, Meg is seen hanging with Kevin]
Meg: Hey Kevin?
Kevin: Yeah Meg?
Meg: I, kinda have something to tell you.
Kevin: Sure, Meg. Tell me anything, I'm all ears.
Meg: [deep breathes and exhales] Kevin, I love-
[The golf ball from earlier is launched into Meg's face, as it interrupts her and shatters her glasses]
Meg: OW! Damnit!
[The golf ball continues to bounce across the Swanon house, hitting portraits and bouncing off walls until it breaks another window and transfers to the Griffin house, where Peter, Lois and Brian are watching Maury]
Host: Well Paul, after going through multiple DNA tests for Craig, we have come to the conclusion that you are...
[The golf ball bounces to the TV and shatters the screen, destroying the TV]
Peter: Nooooo! Now we'll never know if he was the father or not.
[Peter then angerly heads outside, holding the golf ball]
Peter: Who's responsible for this?!
[At the same time, Joe and Kevin exit their house angry as well]
Joe: Who the hell smashed my window?!
Cleveland Jr.: Alright! And on my first swing!
Loretta: Junior, who's technique did you use for swinging the club?!
Cleveland Jr.: I used both of your techniques! [laughs]
[The neighbors all stare collectively at Cleveland and Loretta, who both roll their eyes and whistle as the short concludes]
And that's Junior Golfing! Small and short. A little filler while I work on bigger projects. Expect a new longer FG fanfiction soon!