Help Stop The Pain

Both girls have painful memories

Sara laughed at the antics of the lead singer of Shaun's band, he was currently trying to walk on his hands from one side of the room to the other. Shaun's phone started to ring but he was passed out drunk on the couch so she decided to answer it.

"Hello?" She answered trying to stop herself from laughing.

"Hello." A voice she didn't know spoke back to her, "We're trying to contact Shaun Huberts."

"He's currently sleeping." She tried to sound professional, this man sounded important.

"Are you a friend of his?"

"Yes. I've known him since junior high."

"Well," The man paused she could hear the weight in his words, "It would be better for him to hear this from a friend then."

"Hear what?" She started to get concerned.

"It's about Jessica."

"What happened?" Sara's mind was reeling and thinking of all the things that might have happened, she could have been mugged or raped.

"Ma'am I'm sorry about this," She could tell that he truly was, he didn't sound like someone who usually gave bad news, "But she was hit by a car while crossing the street."

Sara felt her body go numb from shock. There were tears pouting out of her eyes, "I-is she ok-ay?" She choked out the words.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again, "But the paramedics were too late to help her. I'm afraid she didn't make it."

She dropped the phone and collapsed on the floor. The whole mood of the room changed in an instant. Even though everyone was drunk they could still tell something was wrong.

"Sara what's wrong?" She heard the lead singer say from a couple feet away.

"Jessie." That's all she could say. Her mind was unraveling. She just sat on the floor clutching at the remnants of her friend. Hoping that if she tried hard enough she could pull her back, or she could rewind and decide to go home with her; anything that could save her friend.

"What happened to her?" He leaned closer to her and hugged her, "Is she okay?"

Sara shook her head. She couldn't say anything. Her voice was caught in her throat and her stomach tied into knots. She shook her head harder and let all her tears run free.

"Oh my God! Somebody wake up Shaun. Tell him to call the hospital. Now!" One of the guys shook Shaun awake.

"Come on guys just let me sle- Sara?" He looked down at her, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"It's Jess Shaun. Something happened to her." The singer answered for her, "Call the hospital."

"What do you mean something happened to her?" He was in shock, but it was nothing compared to what he was about to experience, "Dylan what happened?"

"I don't know. Sara just said her name when I asked what was wrong."

Shaun picked up his phone and noticed that it was in the middle of a call, "Hello?"

"Hello…who is this?" The man on the other end asked.

"This is Shaun."

"Oh…" The man sounded too serious for Shaun's liking, "Did your friend tell you?"

"No, she's collapsed on the floor crying. She said something about my sister though."

"Sir I'm sorry, and I hate that you have to hear this from me," He paused to steady his breathing, "Your sister, Jessica, was hit by a car on her way home tonight. She didn't make it."

Shaun launched his phone across the room shattering it on the brick fireplace. "God Dammit!" He turned and punched the wall, leaving a permanent indent, "Why? Why?" He broke down and held onto Sara for dear life.

The two of them sat in the living room like that for what felt like days.

Sara spent the next week in complete shock. Everywhere she went in the apartment she saw Jessie's stuff. Her music, pictures, and her unmade bed; she closed the door to Jessie's bedroom after a couple of days hoping that she'd walk passed again and it would be open, Jess sitting on her bed. After that week if pain she decided she'd had enough. She started drinking herself to sleep every night, hoping the whiskey would deaden the pain. It only made it worse.

Sara woke up in a sweat. She immediately started crying. She knew she had to call Tegan. She leaned to her nightstand and grabbed her phone.

"Hey baby girl." Gabriel smiled down at his five year old daughter, "Are you ready for your first day of school?"

"Yes daddy!" She jumped up and down. She was going to school, she would make friends and learn exciting things.

"That's my girl. Always happy." He smiled at her again, he really had a great smile. His whole face smiled. His eyes shown and his teeth practically glistened, "Let's get in the car and I'll drop you off!"

"Okay daddy." She smiled and ran to the back seat of the car.

They made the drive to school in only a few minutes, and they sang Old McDonald's Farm together the whole time. Tegan loved when she got to do things with her daddy.

He rolled down the window as she got out of the car, "I'll see you when I get home from work. Have a great day, okay sweaty?"

"Okay daddy! Bye bye!" She waved and then walked in through the door.

Her mom picked her up after school and Tegan told her all about her first day and her new friends. Her mom just smiled and listened. When Gabriel got home Tegan thought he looked sick.

"Daddy's not feeling well." He said to her gruffly when she tried to sit on his lap.

She didn't know how to react to this. He was always so happy, always so healthy.

A week later he came home angry. She had never seen him angry. She was terrified and hid under her bed, but she still heard the shouting.

"Shut up bitch!" She heard a slap followed by a yelp, "It's your goddammed fault I was fired. You kept making me take her to school every day. They fired me for being late. You hear that? So much for taking time out of my day to see my daughter, now I'll have plenty of time. Because I lost my fucking job!" Tegan heard another loud smack. This time it didn't stop at one. She could hear him hitting her over and over. Screaming at her, blaming her for his troubles.

"No! Stop hitting her! It's not her fault!" Tegan screamed herself awake. Before she could calm herself and settle back into her bed her phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered it groggily.

"Hi Tegan." Sara sounded like she was crying.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"Can you come over? I need to tell you something in person."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." She answered hurriedly, "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Thank you."

Tegan put on a pair of shoes and grabbed her keys before running out the door. She got her car and drove as fast as she could to get to Sara's apartment.

There was the knock on the door and Sara answered it.

"What's wrong Sara?" Tegan hugged her.

"I need to tell you about my past."

"Okay," Tegan gave her a half smile and sat down on her bed, patting the empty space next to her, "I'll just sit and listen."

"Thank you," She sat down, nerves running high, emotions as well, "Remember when I mentioned my best friend the other day?" Tegan nodded. "Well, her name was Jessie. She was the best person I've ever met. When she came out in tenth grade nobody judged her. No one could. There was just something about her that everyone liked. My parent's hated that she was gay though. I was no longer allowed to go to her house, and she couldn't come to mine. But we still were best friends through all of high school. We applied at all the same colleges. We were ecstatic when we got accepted to the same one. After deciding to share an apartment in the area, I came out to my parents. So they kicked me out. And I lived with Jessie. We had the best times at college. Then in the middle of our junior year something happened." She took a deep breath, not wanting to continue, but knowing she had to say it, "We went to her brother's concert and after she drove me to the after party she said she wanted to go home. Her brother, Shaun, offered to drive her, but he was already drunk. She tossed me my keys and walked away. Later that night Shaun got a call. She had been hit by a car on her way home." Sara choked back tears, "They said she died almost immediately. I started drinking after that. I spent most of my junior year wasted. I somehow managed to graduate. And I found work as a bartender. After Shaun finally got me to stop drinking myself to oblivion, I decided I needed to leave. About a year later I made the cross country trip. I stopped for several weeks in different cities, but none of them felt right; until I made it here, but I can't run away from my pain. I need you to help me out. I need you to comfort me. Please?"

"Of course I will." Tegan pulled her in for a hug, "Let's just sleep. Okay?"

"Okay." Sara smiled and got under the covers. Tegan followed suit, hugging her from behind as Sara drifted off to sleep.

"Oh Sara," Tegan said to the sleeping form beside her, "I'm so sorry about your friend." She then let herself fall asleep. Her mind was filled with pain that night. Her dreams weren't happy. Even the ones with Sara were bad dreams. She woke up at four a.m. after dreaming about Gabriel beating Sara. She had to look around and convince herself it was only a dream. When she saw Sara's face, she saw nothing but peace, and it eased her mind. She slept well for the last few hours of the night. But before she slept she decided that she needed to call Chris Walla when she woke up. They both needed to get busy with something outside of their ordinary lives.