A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter sucks, I feel like it does and I apologize. (Also the last third or so is toothrottingly sappy Karkat-centric fluff so if that doesn't appeal to you probably skip that part.) but hEY MERRY CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER THE HECK YOU CELEBRATE :DDD

The lights were off in the library. All the chairs within reasonable carrying distance were clustered around the fireplace. The logs crackled and sparked hypnotically, and Jade could feel her eyelids getting heavy.

It was Christmas Eve, and everything was quiet.

Would they make it to their beds? Would they all fall asleep in front of the fire? Jade didn't know, and really didn't care. It was Christmas Eve, and nothing mattered but the fact that they were together. For the moment.

Jade closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Her hold on the spacebubble was failing, and she doubted it would last until the new year. And she was scared. Callie and Kanaya knew, they could feel it slowly beginning to fall apart at the seams as well as she. They'd told no one else, though. It would last through Christmas, and they could figure something else out after that.

This little gathering in front of the fire was her silent farewell gesture. She had no idea what would happen when the bubble dissipated, no idea if they'd ever see each other again, and she was scared. She tried to push it down, though, and just enjoy the moment.

Callie stared into the flames meditatively, eyes glazed but not sleepy. She didn't fall asleep in front of people very easily – not when for so long she had associated sleep with unleashing destruction and revulsion. She and Jade were stuffed not uncomfortably into a soft leatherlike armchair, with Jade's knees pulled up and partially resting on her lap. Callie hoped she and Jade would be able to stay together after the bubble was gone, but if they lost each other on accident, they could find their ways back. Or so she told herself.

It was pointless to worry, really, but she knew Jade was more afraid for it than she let on. She always let herself take on too much responsibility. Callie rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. They could get through it, whatever happened. That was what she hoped, and that was what she would keep telling anyone who listened.

In the meantime, it was Christmas. Or 12th Perigee's. They seemed similar, and she got them mixed up easily, even though Jade and Kanaya had explained the concepts to her on many occasions. It didn't bother her, though. Any holiday that meant winter and food and gifts and fun was exciting in her book, no matter what species celebrated it.

Nepeta was curled tightly in a ball on Equius's lap, purring like a kitten as he stroked her hair. Their shared couch wasn't too close to the fire; Equius got warm quickly and didn't want to get sweat all over her.

She didn't have any idea how she was going to get to sleep tonight – the thought of tearing into those beautifully wrapped presents and finally being able to play with the shiny ribbons and bows to her heart's content filled her with as much excitement as a full can of energy drink. At least she could finally sit still, which had been hard to do all day. Tonight was going to be long and hard without any desire to sleep.

For the first time he could remember in…a very long time, Equius was okay. He might even say…calm. Yes. He was calm, he noted with placid surprise. His mind, for once, wasn't feeling the need to run tension and energy through his body. His moirail was curled on his lap, just where she was meant to be, and he let his fingers comb through her tangled hair. The fire's constant hiss and occasional pops gave him something non-stressful to focus on, and he could feel the vibrations of Nepeta's purr under his hand. Was this what being "relaxed" was like? He felt like he could happily melt straight into this chair.

Rose and Kanaya had waged a custody battle for the biggest couch with Aradia, Feferi and Sollux and lost. This left them squished together on one end of said couch while the other three took up much more space than was needed on the other side. The dancing flames in the fireplace brought back memories Rose didn't want to think about, memories that were painfully dark and frighteningly grim, so she allowed her eyes to drift closed rested her head against Kanaya's shoulder.

She was still in awe of how the Sweater Project had turned out – 12 sweaters wrapped and ready for delivery tomorrow, despite the day before yesterday's baking-induced delay. Equally shocking was the fact that she had convinced Kanaya into a fuzzy Christmas sweater some hours ago, and was currently snuggled up tightly against its warmth.

Kanaya, perhaps, held Rose a little tighter than was necessary tonight. Jade had warned her and Callie not to tell anyone about the state of the bubble until after the Christmas euphoria faded, and Kanaya wouldn't. It would be cruel, right now.

But…she didn't want to go back to the place she had gone when she died. She knew Rose was dead (neither of them were breathing right now, she could feel the absence like a hole in her chest), but she hadn't seen her in wherever she had been. There was so much they didn't know, and couldn't find out until the bubble was gone. So no one could blame her for snuggling her matesprit a little more before they were likely separated again.

Feferi's thoughts drifted in and out of sleepy focus like the horrorterrors drifted in and out of her dreams. She was almost uncomfortably warm, despite having claimed the corner of the couch angled furthest away from the fire. Most of the heat was coming from Aradia, who she was leaning up against with almost her entire left side, but did that mean she would stop cuddling her occasionally-flushed-sometimes-pale-who-really-knows girlfriend? Of course not. Getting too toasty sometimes was the price one paid for dating two lowbloods, and it was beyond worth it.

Sollux, gangly legs curled under him and face half-smushed into Aradia's shoulder, was asleep. He hadn't lasted 10 minutes. Someone – probably Aradia – had had the foresight to take off his glasses and put them on the end table before he crushed them. He didn't snore, to the relief of everyone present, but a thin strand of drool dripped from his open mouth onto Aradia's sleeve.

As his matesprits had found out early into their relationship, Sollux tended to spread out in his sleep. Often they'd wake up in the middle of the night trapped on opposite sides of the bed, with a six-foot-long starfish of a troll splayed in the very center. Now Starfish Captor was unconsciously attempting to do the same on this couch. Kanaya had been sending glares Aradia's way as Sollux's legs edged into her and Rose's space, until Aradia finally caught on and pulled him up closer so his head could rest by hers. Sollux snuffled and moved his legs off the couch before closing half-dead eyes and going back to sleep.

Aradia knew Sollux was drooling on her again. She didn't really care. It was pretty much the only thing she didn't care about right now – and that felt so good! She could care again! Christmas was tomorrow, lots of her friends were here, she had a matesprit nestled on either side, and she cared! Like she hadn't been able to care for the sweeps she'd been dead. Living was wonderful. And living with friends was even better. Aradia leaned her head on Feferi, pulled Sollux closer in to her body, and smiled.

Terezi wasn't at all sure how Dave had convinced her into sitting on the floor instead of fighting for a couch, but it had been a good idea. Actually, scratch that. (Scratch. Hehe.) She knew exactly how Dave had gotten her to come "sit" with him, John and Karkat – with the implication that it would turn into one giant cuddle pile.

They'd started out upright, yes. But how they'd gotten into this position on the floor in front of the biggest couch was a mystery never to be solved. Karkat was in the center of the pile, which he'd been unexpectedly unquarrelsome about. John and Terezi sat on either side of him; half leaning against the couch and half snuggled into his warmth. Dave was splayed out across all their legs. His head rested in John's lap and his cold toes were crammed under Terezi's thigh. She was pretty sure Karkat was asleep, and if he wasn't he was very good at faking.

Terezi nestled her nose comfortably in the crook of Karkat's neck, resisting the urge to lick him and shatter the peace with his yelp. Funny as that would be.

You wouldn't think this position was comfortable in any way, but Dave was pretty content where he was. Sleeping in weird places was some sort of innate ability of his. Even after breaking up with her and getting with her moirail, he and Terezi were close enough for her to let him warm up his toes under her leg, and John's lap was a really nice and squishy pillow. Not to mention the way John's fingers were drifting almost absently through his hair…if he was a troll there was no doubt he'd be purring.

His shades were dangerously close to slipping off his face, but let them. Wasn't like he was opening his eyes any time soon. This was probably his first "real" Christmas in, what – he racked his memories…never. Him and Bro hadn't celebrated, not even ironically, and for the last few Christmases he'd been otherwise occupied. Wow. That was sad.

Christmas was the best day of the year, and no one could convince John otherwise. He and Dad always put up an unreasonable amount of lights and decorations and stayed up too late watching bad holiday movies. When he was younger he would always drift off in the middle and have to be carried up to bed. Not to mention the Christmas cookies! Baking them was an all-day event, and the school's holiday bake sale always got at least half its stock from the Egbert house.

Or…John swallowed against the sudden sickish feeling in his gut. They used to. The cookies Karkat, Terezi, Rose and Kanaya had made were disappearing fast, but he'd only managed to sample one before the memories became too much to handle.

That was…that was in the past, though, and John pushed it out of his mind. His fingers combed slowly through Dave's soft, fine hair. Dave sighed almost inaudibly and leaned into John's hand, his shades finally losing their grip on the bridge of his nose and sliding down over his face. Gently, so as not to disturb him, John slid the glasses off Dave's head and put them in his front hoodie pocket.

He wondered how many people around him were asleep right now. Dave was, Karkat was, and it was impossible to tell what was under Terezi's blindfold. He couldn't see anyone else from his position. What time was it? Dave could tell him. John guessed he didn't care enough to wake him up. He'd be fine with falling asleep right here in front of the fire. He leaned back on Karkat's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Karkat Vantas, there's literally no reason for you to have so many emotions right now. So stop having them. It's stupid. Don't cry. You idiot. You're crying. Why are you crying. Stop crying. Stop it now shut up.

Karkat sniffed.

No one took notice. Thank gog.

As if he didn't have enough to worry about right now, like the bubble bursting, and dying again, and getting separated from his romfriends, his brain had chosen now of all times to make him get emotional. He wasn't a stranger to emotions. Of course not. When you were a connoisseur of romance novels you had to be in tune with every feeling. He just wasn't used to having them in front of people.

Karkat struggled to keep his breathing in the normal range. It was just…this was too good to be true. This was turning into a – dare he say it – a happy 12th Perigee's. Lots of his friends were here, and Jade had assured him that everyone that wasn't was reasonably okay as well. He didn't even know if he was happy or sad or angry or guilty, but whatever it was, it was confusing and he didn't like it.

It was selfish thinking, he knew, but he didn't…he didn't deserve this. Everything since the game started had been his fault, either because of him directly or as a result of his failed leadership. It just…didn't seem fair. Here he was, with his ridiculously violent personality and more violence than anyone, even a troll, should go through on his record. Surrounded by peace. And quiet. And okayness. And people who liked him, some who even liked him, despite what he had – what he –

To his mortification, Karkat couldn't suppress a sob. It was quiet, no tears, his face quickly reverting back to its forcefully relaxed expression. Maybe nobody noticed, please let no one have noticed –

Dave bolted upright, butt sliding off Karkat's right leg. Karkat glimpsed only a flash of concerned red eyes before the shades came out of his jacket pocket and he felt a comforting hand on his left shoulder. Terezi. Oh no.

A surge of emotion contorted his face into a painful grimace, and his hands came up to smash against it and hide. He sobbed again. It sounded broken and pathetic. Red dripped through the gaps in his fingers and a shudder racked his body.

"Sorry," he choked out, hating the way it hung shamefully in the air.

By this point everyone had blinked sleepily to attention, and he could feel their eyes on him. It was like a nightmare. Also he was full-out crying now – no more strangled sobs, no way to try and conceal it. He was crying, and now he'd started he doubted he'd be able to stop any time soon.

"Hey. Karkat," came a soft whisper from across the room. Nepeta. "It's okay."

"Yeah, dude. We won't judge," Sollux mumbled.

Terezi papped him. Once. Feather-light, like she was afraid he would fall apart. And jegus, Karkat whimpered.

That was when John seemed to snap out of his daze and leaned over to hug him. Karkat froze. Spontaneous, uninvited hugs were John's specialty and cure-all, and they got really annoying really fas –

Okay, at this point putting up a façade was helping literally no one. He hugged back. He hugged back harder.

His moirail wrapped her arms around his chest from behind, forming some sort of inane human-troll sandwich. Dave eased Karkat's head up from John's shoulder to wipe the cherry-red tearstains from his cheeks. "I know," he murmured. "I know, Karkat. It's gonna be okay."

"It's not, though," Karkat protested, too exhausted to be embarrassed about how his voice cracked. "You're crazy if you think we're all gonna get out of this game alive. Together."

"Probably," said Terezi, whispering her agreement into the back of his neck. "But hey, we're together now. Right now it's okay. That's all we can ask for; we can do nothing about the game here. So relax. Stop trying, fearless leader. Shooooshhhh."

"Tomorrow's Christmas!" said John, who was probably face to face with Terezi from this angle but didn't seem to care. "Or…12th Perigee's, or whatever your weird troll equivalent is. It'll look better then. Trust me. Things look better in the morning."

Karkat's emotions still threatened to take over if he let down his guard any lower than they had already fallen, but at least the tears seemed to have stopped coming. He sighed tiredly into John's shoulder. So much of this odyssey he'd been tired. Tired of being tired of being tired. He just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for several hundred sweeps. Preferably in a solitary and nonlethal place. He was more than tired; he was done with the universe and with Sgrub.

Then John started to sing. It caught Karkat off guard, because he had never heard John do that before and it was startling, but he recognized the tune quickly. It was an Earth Christmas carol, one he secretly loved despite having no idea what the lyrics were supposed to mean.

"Silent night…Holy night…"

John's voice was low and quiet, and gave occasionally on the high notes. Karkat made a small noise of pleasure. Was John…was he singing him to sleep?

Dave, not knowing the words but remembering the tune, began to hum. His relatively steady baritone filled the air around John's tentative tenor while Terezi papped gently up and down his back. This was…this was good. He was okay. Still tired, but…okay.

Karkat rested his face in John's warm chest, drifting in the sensation, of sleepy, placid okayness. It was getting harder to focus, and he was beginning to wonder if he should take a break from focusing at all…John was good at this lullaby stuff. If that was what it was. Whatever he was doing with his voice, it was certainly having the same effect as one. He snuffled into John's warmth, and his matesprit smiled as he sang the last line.

"Sleep in heavenly peace…sleep in heavenly peace."